The Battle Between Heart and Mind

Everybody has feelings they get confused by and it keeps them up at night (I know I do). Sometimes the things I feel like are supposed to be simple like loving someone, are the most complex and hard.

My brain swims in the questions,

trying not to drown.

There are many things unanswered,

many things not found.

The most important one is always skipped over

never wanted to be said.

Always avoiding to be focused

while I lay stiff in my bed.

My heart feels it and trusts that it's there

but my mind doesn't want to admit it.

It just doesn't want to care.

Emotions lay smothered and confused as to why I just don't get it.

What my mind wants to do most is to just drop it and forget it.

Could this be real or just an illusion?

My thoughts run around in mad confusion.

I feel the pain, I feel the ache.

Not wanting to be here all night laying awake.

I'm confused and I'm scared.

These new feelings I have never had to bear.

The bubbles in my stomach fizz and pop.

Part of me likes it, but the other wants it to stop.

What do I want to tell you?

Is it the spark of the moment that makes me sway?

I don't know what to do,

everything I think about comes right back to you.

You make me get the giggles,

making my words tumble.

Sometimes the most I can say is a mere mumble.

I always want to talk to you but you lower all of my defenses.

You have some kind of power,

something leaving me without my fences.

My mind hesitates with the mind set of a coward.

It runs away now that something has flowered.

I'm too afraid to acknowledge it,

too afraid to commit.

I try to piece together the pieces,

before my mind gives up and all my thinking ceases.

I realize that this is the first time I have ever felt like this.

That is why my mind just resists.

But my heart is determined

and no matter how hard my mind tries.

It can't make my feelings go away,

they have colored me with permanent dyes.

Sorry if I dragged you down

but that is all I could think of to do.

The mind is stubborn and never wants to move.

The heart is strong and always has something to prove.

The battle persists and I’m left without a clue.

Author's Note

This was my first poem on a whim.