Cold Moments of Demise

The words I found to explicate losing a father, my father.

She opens the door to a bright and cold world,
Soon to see, what a sadly sickened probed man lies,
In a curious bed of tragic demise.
She sees him in bed lying,
Next to all the family crying. 
Staring into tear-filled eyes to hear the words of his demise,
He is dying. Today they said - 
Today.

Today would be the day,
God was going to take her father away.
The unshaken man who always stood his ground,
Who could make much more from her frowns.

This man lied at the Western Gate,
“ please don’t go” she whispered.
But she knew it was too late.
They said he’s done, he is no more.
At a time where she needed her father more than ever before.
They left.

The room lay stagnant, empty
Except for the daughter and her father.
His peaceful, pain filled expression she dare not bother,
But damn it this is her father!

She slowly slipped to his bedside
Begging to take away all his pain from inside.
She grasped his still warm hand and said,
“ I love you.” tears filled her eyes, they turned red,
remembering what her dad always said -
It is what it is.

But nothing ever prepared her for this.
She kissed his forehead in helpless despair,
Thinking “God why? Why don’t you care!?”
Tears flowed from her hazel loving eyes.
Its hard to accept where he lies.

The shadow of death overtaking him wholly
Shaking even those claiming to be “unholy”.

She grasped his calloused hand tighter,
Yet his future looked no brighter.

“No dad, no...”, she sobbed.
“Please dad, no don’t go..”
She lied her head upon her heros chest,
And relished the moments she had left.

The family filled the room again,
just the same as it had been, 
In with a solemn prayer from the chaplain.

This girls would never be the same.
Her father lay lame, with no one to blame.
they extricated his tube for oxygen,
With the family gathered the way it had been.

She watched as her father reached for the air-
gasping.
Like a fish
“Please don’t take him”, she wished.
But before her eyes, her hero faded away.
She had so much left to say. -

Her last goodbyes, all alone.
With the only father and true man she’d ever known.

Helplessly she looked to his face for life,
Seeing none felt like she was stabbed with a knife.
She kissed his forehead again. -
Again.

She searched for the hug that had always been,
But his lifeless body lay cold,
In her arms he was just gods mold.
His hands tinged blue and spotted,
shook her deeply to a heart thats rotted.

“ I love you Dad”, she weeped
as an endless river of tears flowed down her face,
“Daddy I’ll miss you so much
But I know you’re in a better place.”

The pain still shakes her oh so deeply,
I would know, this girl-
She is me.

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

If how we are loved is a measure of our worth then your father was a very worthy man; to have a daughter that cared so deeply. Many are not nearly as fortunate.

[Stonz P.]

It was very very moving.
None of us, on this community can fathom your loss.
May god be with you and your family.

The words are true and honest and it's beautiful.
Take Care.

[Patrick Henry]

I don't know what made me think I was about to stumble upon a "heart-warmer", but I was way off!! You almost had me in my rare tear, Nkaylyn. What ISN'T hard to read in this poem as far as content goes? My goodness. I am so very sorry if any part of this is true...... I have said bye to so many, some dying before me, some DEAD before me, some that were not seen again, and some in the family "like my sister dying" that you never get over, no matter what degree of maturity or preparation you had...... it ALL hurts, and it all stays with you. This felt more like a story... even with the rhymes, but it was not less effective in delivering a message about love, being connected to the world through a hero's eyes, and your poem was a nice tribute if it is about a real life moment!! Beautiful Nkaylyn. xoxo -Mark

[Kay]

Thank you very much, today marks a year since his passing.

[Patrick Henry]

I UNDERSTAND the loss, but will never be able to MEASURE the loss you feel, for it is such the most personal relationship you have between you and your feelings and your hero!! Emotions on such a high, even with the passing of time, proves that this may be one of the hardest poems to write. Ones of abuse and explained in the first person, and ones that deal with a personal loss... both beautiful and heart-breaking!! *Hugz* xoxo -Mark

[John Stussy]

This was incredibly heartbreaking. I too have lost my father, and that's a figure that just can't ever be replaced. Without that strength in your life it feels like the world has come crashing down. My most sincere condolences for your loss.

[Kay]

Thank you so very much.