Never Forget

My mother walked out on my family and me Friday, January 25th, 2008. She left while we were all sleeping. Her goodbye was a note on the kitchen table. That's it.

Sometimes I want to give up
Those times when things get rough.
When things don't want to go my way
When Im having a really off day.
Sometimes I sit in my room and cry
Other times, I try to hide.
I keep a smile in my hands
And put it on around my friends.
Other times it doesn't work
And I don't see them, I just hurt.
Life just doesn't seem to be fair
It sometimes seems like no one cares.
But when I'm down and need a friend
Two people are here for me, till the end
I try to be happy and stay strong
But sometimes it's harder to hold on.
I feel like im trapped, in this world of chaos
A lot of the time I feel so lost
I don't know why these things happen to me
But im determined to once again be happy.
I don't know where id be if I had no one
Any chance of happiness would be done
I know I'd never resort to death
wouldn't that be quite a mess?
I want to be here with my family
I need to be here for them, and them here for me
Five months ago life took a turn for the worst
This was nothing for which I rehearsed
I never thought this would happen to me
But I guess that wasn't the truth, you see?
If this was something you had to go through,
Let me ask you this, what would you do?
Would you trust the one who left you behind?
Or would you push that thought straight out of your mind?
She's my mum, regardless of what she's done
And I'll never have another one
I'm going to have to make due with what I have
My brother and sisters, and my loving dad.
When my mum left, I hated myself
I thought I was my fault , why these cards had been dealt.
Life is no game, and you should cherish every moment
don't live in the dark, and certainly don't regret
even after all she's done, I cant hate my mother
And there isn't one person who could ever replace her.
She knew me nine months before anyone else
And cared for me through sickness and health
Every time she does another awful thing
I just wish I could stop it from happening.
She makes things so difficult on us all
She doesn't answer when we call.
She wont talk to us, cause she knows she done wrong
And I havent seen her, its been so long
She's been so awful to us, but she's my mother
And no matter what, I'll always love her.
Right now though, I cant forgive her
I don't know if I'll even be able to, ever.
She really means the world to me
And I never understood why or how this came to be.
Things arent going to change though
And maybe someday, I'll come to know
Maybe we'll talk sometime in the future
I cant forget my past with her.
I don't know what's going to happen or how
But I do know I cant see her, not now.
I miss her a lot, and I hope she knows that.
Because she is my mother, and I will never forget, I will never forget.