I hope you know...

I want you to know that I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry...

I hope you know I love you

And I feel terrible for what I said

I knew I shouldn’t have uttered it

The second it left this uncontrollable hole in my head

I hope you know I love you

I hope you know that it's not "fine"

I feel so horrible for saying what I said

When you’re just so sublime

I can’t help who I am

I know I’m not ideal

But I know I love you, that’s for sure

What we have is so surreal

I literally can’t stress how you make me feel

I just wish I could deal

With the fact that you’re probably mad at me right now

I’m so angry with myself I could squeal!

I’m sorry, I can’t seem to do anything right

Honestly, I’ll probably delete this poem tonight

I guess I didn’t notice how you felt

I can’t help it, you just make my brain melt

I want you to know that I’m sorry for what I said

I hope you know I love you, and you stay in my head

I know you said “All is well,” but I still don’t feel forgiven

I gotta remember to be careful with my word decisions

I hope you know I don’t want you for your money

I hope you know you make me feel sunny

When I’m in gloom and feeling out of tune

I hope you know I love you

Author's Note

A few days ago, I said something to someone that I deeply regret the second it left my mouth, ("This uncontrollable hole in my head"). The said person said it was fine, but I still felt bad afterward.

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

I can feel this one Nix ... the sign of a good poet to bring out feelings with their words.

Many years ago ... too many now ... I too uttered the first words that came to mind because I was taken by surprise ... it destroyed the relationship. One of my few regrets.

I'm not sure you will be able to mend this, but, it's worth a try.

Good luck.

[Nix is typing...]

I'm glad I could bring out an emotion in you, my brain was certainly flooded with emotion when I wrote this, I'm trying to mend it, I think it's working...really only time will tell, thank you kindly for the read and review, Ted :)

Nix ❤️️

[T.S. Ulmus]

Perhaps this person feels bad about their response as well. One can't get hung up on simple words. This is a very touching set of words, a lovely write. If this were based in reality, I'm sure the person would know you were serious upon reading these words.

[Jo Billygoat]

True Intentions

. . . and tomorrow arrives
I felt sorrowful, now I see my mistake
self loathing was only my disguise

If I had been truthful to myself
maybe, doubt it, I could have told you the truth
self-preservation in telling the truth oft hurts and never helps

I saw a truth, to keep myself protected, I told you what I saw
perception, you may interpret, but facts are facts
I did what science mandates, I reacted to your action

Without filter, I spoke from my gut
I did and do not wish to hurt your soul
I only spoke from my heart

Damage done
We move on
Another victim of my sincere honesty

As air gives live
Truth, ironically, most oft kills one's will to live
A mute of speech, this wish I do upon myself

Inflicting such pain on others
Here is the truth in why I remain alone
This is why I listen to song, to not hear the truths we would speak

Now my true intention is known
Lightened my consciousness I have
Another dent in my brain and scar on my heart

I wear a smile to hopefully enhance my outward beauty
My battered mind and heart
Daily, I desperately struggle to be around others

Silent I have to stay around others
The filthy truth will cause all to run screaming
Tears I feel falling are for my calamity, self inflicted

Please see my smile as not an invitation
Rather adhere it's warning
Do a 180 and head to in the opposite direction

A wretch like me is destine to bring you nothing but pain
You think you want to know me but like truth it will devastate you to hear me
I keep my tongue, I give you a note scribed on parcel . . . RUN!!!

I smile again, as you walk away
You are the only one, the truly intelligent person to not know me
Better your life is to have avoided me, the ultimate tragedy.

[Nix is typing...]

Wow...that is...truly amazing. A poem as a review to my poem. Wow... and it's really good!!!
That's like...a thousand times better than my poem, you should post that on your page O.O
I appreciate the read and time to make this really long, really good review. :)

[Jo Billygoat]

I originally used to not post such reviews I've done on others poems but now I paste all such "continuations" to my page

[Nix is typing...]

I will go check it out!! :)

[Jo Billygoat]

fore warning, i have a lot of dark stuff

[Nix is typing...]

Tis oki, I do, too. A lot of my earlier stuff is really dark.

[AJNJ]

This is such a great, heartfelt apology. You're such a good writer!

[Nix is typing...]

Thank you so much, AJ! I've read a lot of your stuff (but I feel I'm really bad at looking for words when I'm leaving reviews, so I just don't leave them), I think you're a good writer, too!!
Thanks for the read and review, AJ, it's much appreciated!!

[Robert Trakofler]

as a person with passion one who works in it, scrawls it, dances with it, and wears it... it is easy to do by accident:/ As a person of whom loves a person with passion they love you because you have passion and as such enjoys those fiery veins and wouldn't want you to be anything less even if it stings on occasion because the other side of the sting is a pure passion! beautifully written sincerity penned here NIX:)

[Nix is typing...]

Thank you so very much for your kind review, Robert!! 😁 I'm glad to see you visiting my page and knowing that such an esteemed writer like you likes my poetry!! 😲😁
Thank you for taking the time to read and review, it's much appreciated. ❤️️

[Chris Shaw]

Words, so powerful. Can make wars or create peace. They have to be carefully selected, and that isn't always easy is it? A sorry goes a long way I find. A mistake maybe, but an opportunity to learn. A relatable poem. I bet all your readers will relate to this in some way Nix.

Chris

[Nix is typing...]

I'm glad you could find my poem relatable, Chris!! :) Thanks for the read and review!!! :)))

[poetgurl]

this is a very emotional read, nicely expressed Nix...

[Nix is typing...]

Thank you very much, Kari :)
I appreciate the read and review. :))))

[Harmony Lee]

This piece is emotionally descriptive and yet it leaves so many unanswered questions... first and foremost, what did the speaker say to this person? Maybe that is ultimately unimportant and/or too painful to thus recall. Also -- is feeling unforgiven self-inflicted? It seems there is an extremely self-diminishing element at play. Thus is the dilemma of wanting to be accountable for what one recognizes as harmful words, yet it can be important not to fall into overly convicting oneself. We are human, and we make mistakes. We are responsible for not allowing them to become a pattern. I wish you well. Thanks for sharing.

[Nix is typing...]

Welp, I'd answer your questions but on the off chance the person that this poem was written for actually sees this poem, they'll probably be upset that I just told random's about what we got in a "spat" over. Although he's said to me, "All is well" I didn't really believe him, although he seemed fine afterward, so maybe the feeling of feeling unforgiven is self-inflicted.
I appreciate your insights, Harmony :)
Thanks so much for your read and review. :)

Nix ❤️️

[Harmony Lee]

You need not be pressured to answer as I was merely letting you know what curiosity I was left with upon reading. I do get what you mean, and maybe it is unclear even to you how authentic is the "all is well" thing. I'm glad to offer any kind of constructive feedback to you. Thanks!

[Amber Stone]

hi nix's typing, nice poem on love, regrets and soul penitence, quiet sincere, coming from the heart. i like your style at rhymes because they look refreshing ones and work great that not-tied-way to the structure. i admire, and enjoy, the way you take private emotions into your poem, through soft cadence/rhythm and evoked universal issues that can reach us all.
PS_ ("I’m sorry, I can’t seem to do anything right. Honestly, I’ll probably delete this poem tonight.....") _hey, nix, remember: do not delete the poem!!! :) sincerely, Amber.

[Nix is typing...]

Thank you kindly, Amber, for reading and taking the time to review, the favor shall be returned shortly. :) I appreciate your visit to my page :)
And thanks, :) I won't delete it. :)