Hypocritical

Sorry to be a hypocrite, but this is just me.

Sometimes I wish I was normal

All of the time, I wish I could fit in

I know I told y’all

“Go out there, face the world with a grin”

But how can I say that?

When I hold everything in

I know I said I loved myself now I lied I still plaster on a fake smile And die a little inside

I’m still out here sucking my stomach in And avoiding pie 

I still workout at the gym

Just to get looks

Just to draw eyes

I still have these demons inside

That I wish I could fight,

But it's like everything they say

Turns out to be right...

So here's a real poem

Written by my heart

I'll go with the truth, for a start

I wish I could speak out loud

I wish I could use my voice

I feel like Stephen Hawking

Like I have no choice

But to speak though a type

But anything I want to say

Gets caught in my throat

So I’m quiet all-day

I wish I could talk

I wish I could scream

The thoughts that take over my mind

Oh, there they are again

The Voices disrupting my serene

“Your writings are no good”

“No one will relate”

“No one even understood”

But Voices,

I even wrote one about y’all

“We don’t care

We’re just plotting your fall”

I just wish I could scream my thoughts out loud

But forever in silence, I shall be

Forever a misfit 

Will always be me

Author's Note

This one completely contrasts with "Society's Rules", when I wrote it, I felt like a complete hypocrite. I poured my heart out into a poem for the first time in a few days, and I'm sorry to the people who think I'm a huge hypocrite for writing this.

Reviews

[Haley]

This feels almost like a "grass is always greener" situation. We all want to fit in, but stand out in our own ways. Does that make us hypocrites, maybe, but also definitely not. We all have individuality in us and need to find our path while battling the voices that pull us back inside the box. This is an amazing poem and you need to share more and more of your works, I love! :)

[Nix is typing...]

Thank you so much, Haley!! I really actually called this one, "Hypocritical" because it was the complete opposite of the "Society's Rules" poem I wrote. Thank you for your ever so sweet review!! I have like...at least 11 poems on here, I think and I'll share more once I can get some more inspiration. Thanks again for your sweet review!!

[Coyote Poetry]

I loved the poem. The Bukowski honest feel, I like.
“We don’t care
We’re just plotting your fall”
I just wish I could scream my thoughts out loud
But forever in silence, I shall be
Forever a misfit
Will always be me"
Dear poets. Writers and poets are misfits. We see too much and it make us know madness. I had scream toward the sea when the madness stole my mind. We must release to paper or to sea/forest. Thank you for sharing your amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Nix is typing...]

I really liked this review, Coyote!! Madness seems to have created most of my poems, except the one about the frog, that one was just random. Thank you for your review, Coyote!!

[Coyote Poetry]

You did well and you are welcome my friend.

[Kari Rakitan]

There have been rare times when I wanted to fit in, but for the most part, I've been happy just being myself. Working out is good for staying healthy, but I've never overdone it. I feel like walking is enough for me most of the time. When my husband wants to go running, I tell him to get a girlfriend to do that with.

[Nix is typing...]

Haha! I love that! I've read some of your stuff, and I was dead laughing only two lines in. I love your sense of humor!! It's good that you're happy with yourself. I'm still waiting for my self-consciousness to shut up, then maybe I'll be happy. Thanks for your review, Kari! ❤️

[Kari Rakitan]

Sure thing

[Just Kim]

I really like how you started this out, I feel like this at times, nicely expressed and so emotional,
i don't don't think you're a hypocrite, Everyone has a right to their own opinion, least the country hasn't took that away, we get judged but let people do so, who cares what others say, just be true to you.
Nicely written

[Nix is typing...]

I think this one might be your best review yet!! Thank you so much, Kim! ❤️

[whatrachelwrites]

I feel the exact same. sometimes it is really hard to practice what you preach. I am always encouraging friends to eat what they want, be happy, do not care what other people think, but do I do any of these things? I try but fail quite a lot. That is being human and well done for admitting it. We can only try and grow. Great poem.

[Nix is typing...]

Thank you so much for this review, Rachel!! ❤️

It is really hard to do things I encourage other people to do. When I wrote "Society's Rules" I was all happy and upbeat and body-positive, and now... I don't know what changed, but I just felt like admitting that I can't do all those things I tell other people to do. I'm seventeen, yk? I'm still fighting demons, and that's something I completely and truthfully admit.

Again, thank you for your review, Rachel!!! ❤️

[T.S. Ulmus]

No one thinks you're a hypocrite for writing this. Personally I am amazed at how you manage to continue writing such real and relatable pieces. Your voice always comes through so true. Have you thought of writing a book? Maybe even an autobiography, your narrative voice is amazing at being relatable and drawing a person in. Certainly you have a story to tell.

[Nix is typing...]

I've never really thought about that...I've always kinda thought writing an autobiography seemed kinda... selfish? Idk why I've just always felt like people wouldn't like my stories. And lol, As I've told you before, I can tell more stories than most seventeen-year-olds can so it makes me happy that you think that. As always, T.S. Ulmus, who's real name shall forever remain hidden, thank you for your review!! ❤️

[genocide]

So inside it feels like you’re suffering and hurting and you have no one to tell about it

[Nix is typing...]

Exactly, no brothers or sisters, and I certainly don't trust my parents enough to tell them anything. Thanks for your review, Jamarr. ❤️