Just blowing off some steam

Just blowing off a little steam, I was in a mood so I needed to write...

I just wanna feel normal

But I feel like that’s a struggle

I’m tired of having to juggle all this extra bullshit

I'm always walking on eggshells around them

If they don’t quit, I swear

I’m leaving for good

I get that I’m their kid

But I feel so misunderstood

I’ll be eighteen soon, d****t

Don’t dare forget

I’m leaving as soon as possible

The first change I get

They’ve driven me crazy

Borderline f*****g insane!!!

I’m getting hella tired of all of this now

I don’t think I’ll play their little game

I know they’re trying to taunt me

But I’ll be an adult soon

I’ll just leave

That must be what they’ve wanted all along, wasn’t it?

Ah, must’ve been the trick up their sleeve!

They’ve really pissed me off now

But it’s okay, I’ll find someone else to stay with

If anyone asks me where I’m staying

I’ll just plead the fifth

I’ll go far far away

To a land unknown

Far away from GA

Where I can sway all day

And play by my own rules

Somewhere where I can have a phone of my own

And prove that I’m grown

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Being a teenager sucks, especially if you have other issues too. Good to splash it out on the page, it's a petfect outlet. My grandson is nearly 23 and lives with us and his 20 year old sister. We all went through hell together with his emotional disregulation. He hated us back then, what a difference now. A much happier person. Hang in there you won't be a teen for ever. You express yourself well.

Chris

[Nix Is Still Typing...]

Thank you, Chris :) I hope so...but I mean...I'm planning on leaving as soon as I turn 18...or shortly after, I'll find people to stay with until I can get a flight to...a different state. Somewhere new...where no one knows me so I can start over. My dad and I "fight" constantly (when I say "fight" I mean, he screams his head off at me, I can't say anything back or he'll start packing my stuff like he's gonna kick me out...damn, I'm gonna need to figure out a way to steal back my legal papers (green card, drivers license, birth certificate, etc.)) Maybe I'll contact my parents again once I'm in my twenties, they have no idea what goes on in my life (because I don't tell them because I know how they'd react) so I feel it's just better to cut them out of my life for a while and see how I make it... my father has major anger issues and has been emotionally abusing me since I was a little girl, so getting away will be good for both of us...assuming he doesn't kill my mom in my disappearance. (Or she kills herself because of the way he treats her) People say, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder"...let's see. If he still hates me in five years for leaving, (that man can really hold a grudge) then I'll know that that saying is complete bs...thank you for the read and review, Chris :)

[Chris Shaw]

You have a lot going on there girlie. What you must do is stay somewhere where you will be safe. Safety is paramount. Supportive friends are what you need. Having a decent support network will help you no end. I wish you lots of luck. You are a talented writer, you have alot going for you even though it might not seem that way now. My advice, take it or leave it. Choose your friends very carefully. Choose ones who genuinely like you.

Chris

[Nix Is Still Typing...]

There are some instances where I have to use...certain things just to get a home...until I can find somewhere stable, but I'm not staying with my parents, that's for sure. I can't take much more of my father. I can find somewhere to stay, but people are hard to trust nowadays. Everyone's so two-faced (we gen-Zs call it "fake") it's hard to tell if anyone's even real anymore. Thank you for that talented writer comment...
Genuine is hard to find, is what I'm trying to say. Trust isn't something you can just give out these days. You know?

[Tricessimus]

There will always be a port available to a siren who courts the sailors with her song. "Hallelujah" was one of my favorites and seems appropriate. October is a great month of changes, landscapes drastically morph and people draw close. I only wish that I might hear the sirens call again one day but I fear that changing my phone number and e-mail means that the beauties of the deep will no longer call for me. I guess there's always the WC to keep me company.

[Mr. D]

When trying to jump out of the frying pan, some often find themselves landing in the fire they sought to leave. You might leave one bad situation, and enter another one. No one is genuine anymore, so good luck finding anyone like that. Trust no one, and nothing.

[littlekinglord]

I have been in some circumstances where I felt trapped. I have sold drugs, my body and have done drugs

[wordman]

sounds great but not what it`s all cut out to be

[Mantequilla]

Great poem. I totally understand what it is like to me moody. I normally go and play my guitar. I think it is amazing that you did this.

[Unspoken poet]

I remember being a teenager, it did stink a lot. Writing soothes the soul to an extent. You express your emotions well. Hang in there.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like how you use "Land" rather than states away, much like Emily D. in her "no frigate like a book"---
Lands gives us a different perspective...not just miles...but hearts away from those who misunderstand.
I remember being your age...and I felt that same misunderstanding....
I wanted to take a very long walk, and just keep on walking.
j.

[Nix Is Still Typing...]

Haha, I glad you could understand the way I feel, J. I've been locked up in a prison (Parents don't know about my WC account) for ten months with no outside communication. They deprived me of almost my entire teenage life, taking things from me that other teenagers had, I'm not even ALLOWED to have friends...or emotions. If I show emotion around my dad, he'd scream at me and tell me, "I AIN'T F*****G HAVING IT! STOP WITH THAT BULLSHIT EMOTION RIGHT NOW!" or something to that matter, pack my s**t and throw me out. (He's done that before), I feel like the people on the cafe understand me, I feel like this is the only place where I can express emotion and feel heard. Thank you for the read and review, J :) It's much appreciated :)

[emmajoy]

I learned a long time ago that escape is never what it's made out to be.. there'll always be words and actions that do the dirty on mind and heart. And if you listen, you'll hear the jungle calls of peeps s just like you, wanting nothing more than silence and static. You think?

That said you write so well, wording laid realistically, honestly and more. Little omitted, raw thoughts, the air is blue as hell. Do you feel better now? Take care, keep safe. Please.

[Nix Is Still Typing...]

Writing always helps me calm down a little bit...I like to write something raw and uncut and something that'll come directly from my steaming head. Thank you for that, Emma. :) I just needa get outta my parents house before I actually go insane, I've been living in a prison, no outside communications for ten months, so I bought myself a phone with money I made. (Not from their pocket) and my dad found it, and set it on fire. Because he's crazy. I need to get out, SOON. I'll be okay as long as I'm not living with them anymore. :) Thanks for the read and review, Emma :)

[emmajoy]

Your words were incredibly moving.. and reading now what happened to your phone.. is sad as wotsit. Perhaps let your mind take a back seat. Do and enjoy what you can.. if you can. Keep writing, you do is amazingly well. Perhaps, maybe.. you could see what you do have rather than what's missing. Send me a list of the positives! Take care, keep safe.. look to the clouds by day and the stars at night... yes?!

[mattavelli]

Hello, Nix! :)
You seem fed up. Haha... Don't let people upset you. We're all the same. Have you tried using psychology to change your parents' behavior, conditioning?

[Nix Is Still Typing...]

I really really am fed up, Mattavelli, what exactly do you mean by that? Thank you for reading and reviewing! It means a lot :)

[mattavelli]

My pleasure :)
You know your parents better than they do. I'm sure you can work their moods to get what you want. Reward them for behaving the way you want, and they'll behave that way when they want a reward, conditioning. Haha... Its a game we all play all the time. Getting upset is really just forfeiting a round of the game.

[Nix Is Still Typing...]

Huh...I never really thought of it like that...I'll give it a try! Thank you, Matt :)