Close Your Eyes

Late Night Thoughts

At night when I go to sleep,

Seeing you there, my heart skips a beat.

You wait there with a smiling face,

I stare you feeling that moment of ace.

Holing you closer I look into ur eyes,

To see them filled with love n pride.

Leaning on my shoulder u hug me tight,

Taking my burdens n making it light.

Close ur eyes n come to me,

In this world v r meant to be.

As sun rises, you move away,

I wake up in the bitter reality of today.

Sometimes I wish u could always be there,

To share my sorrow, the pain I bear.

Waking up, i search u around,

But None of ur traces could be found

Was it truth or a situation i deemed,

Will It come true or remain a dream?

Close ur eyes n come to me,

In this world v r meant to be.

Reviews

[Laura Lynn]

I like it to, it's just more simple a love poem, a bare bones state...

I'm interested in the linguistic and orthographic quality of " i search u around,/But None of ur traces could be found/ Was it truth or a situation i deemed,/ Will It come true or remain a dream?"

so it does emphasize the sound and forces the reader to hear when only one letter is spoken 'v r meant to be' like missing letter in code w/ possibilities or 2-4 separate or triple meaning

reading it over again, the first stanza this is funny, sort of a buzzy, giddy feeling to it, most of the lines are buzzy like this except for, the only coldness I see is in the "Will it come true of remain a dream?" ...the line has to be there and not every line can hold the same impact or emotional weight of the previous, just like every part in a gear shift working is a different shape or several different size parts of varying shapes

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Glad u reveiwed it laura. Thanks alot (:

[Najam Us Saher]

Wow. You left me speechless. This is simply perfect.

[shweta@castle]

A few lines go straight to the heart like "Close your eyes n come to me, In this world v r meant to be"
The rhymes are awesome in the poem which make the poem even more lyrical and flowy. This is simple and qualified. Do write more! :)

[Nitesh Mahabal]

I like the writing and the message.. I am in many pauses by the incorrect grammar which is like a speed bump to me. It does make it raw and edgy if that was your goal. I certainly know there are times this is something that adds to writing like in the case of The Road, a 2006 novel by Cormac McCarthy. I'm not sure if that was what you aimed for or not...

[Nitesh Mahabal]

I plan Nothing. Just write what comes to heart

[anne]

its beautiful...simple and heart connecting....:))

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Thank u So much

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem.
"Waking up, i search u around,
But None of ur traces could be found
Was it truth or a situation i deemed,
Will It come true or remain a dream?"
Sweet dreams can lead us to good day and places. I like how you closed the poem. Left the reader with the hope of love. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Thank u for ur Kind review Sir (:

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[wordman]

a wonderful poem of love you painted here

[Nitesh Mahabal]

glad u found it that way.

[maria ( rose)]

Holing you closer I look into ur eyes,
To see them filled with love n pride.
Leaning on my shoulder u hug me tight,
Taking my burdens n making it light.

Lovely poem!!!

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Thank U So Much Maam

[maria ( rose)]

you are quite welcome !

[Nitesh Mahabal]

hmmmmmm :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

very well expressed.........sometimes our desire to realize our dreams blur the difference between reality and dream!!!!
beautifully written.......
i loved it!!!!
:)
what's with small font size?

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Small Dreams, Small Font. Lil kiddish!!!!!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

okay.........but smaller fonts, greater number for lenses. NOT KIDDING!!! LOL :) :P :)

[Nitesh Mahabal]

hahahahahahahahahha

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Small Dreams. Small Font. XTRA LARGE laughter..........way to go!!!!!

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

As sun rises, you move away,

I wake up in the bitter reality of today.

Sometimes I wish u could always be there,

To share my sorrow, the pain I bear.




Beautiful but only I know
of one that can take away my burdens
and it is Jesus but friends can help us
carry them as well and get through that hard time.



Matthew11:28-30



11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour
and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.



11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me;
for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find
rest unto your souls.


11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.


Thank you for sharing my friend
this was lovely and quite interesting
was this a dream ? it seemed like it was a dream.



I have did poems about my dreams
but you have my attention it is quite
interesting when we dream of these
things or even so write of these things.


Have a blessed night. God bless. Benita