Never Forever

Being Sentimental

As time passes away,

There's something i want to say,

Don't leave me & walk away,

Disappointments don't always stay.

Just understand me & be there,

Regrets can surround anyone anywhere,

Remember the time we've been together,

Though that time did'nt last forever.

I see you going away from me,

Was it the way it was meant to be?

I could'nt stop u as i live in fear,

will those dreams of our, endure?

I thank u dear for your presence,

It meant whole world & sense

I apologize for letting u down

Beneath Ur choice, i kill my sound.

Reviews

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

As time passes away,
There's something i want to say,

Don't leave me & walk away,

Disappointments don't always stay.







Just understand me & be there,

Regrets can surround anyone anywhere,

Remember the time we've been together,

Though that time did'nt last forever.




Very Emotional and heart breaking
I stumbled on this piece a bit also.


But nice piece thank you for sharing
and thank you for your kind review and
comments you left on my page.


Blessings. Benita

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Thank U Benita. Still Learning

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

studying words in the dictionary and meanings and reading helps but God takes the wheel when I write at times it just comes as Creativity and beauty comes from him studying the bible helps me sleep and getting food and water in my body and to take a break now and then. You're welcome. well if there is something I can help with just let me know. have a blessed night. Benita

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Ya Sure Maam, Will Come To U If I Need Help. You're Generous. Stay Blessed

[harley98]

Looks like very deep thought/emotion was put into this. Love it!

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Thank u so mch Maam

[harley98]

You are most definitely welcome! (:

[Nitesh Mahabal]

hmmmmmmm :)

[harley98]

Whats the hmmmm for?

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Its for the

[Nitesh Mahabal]

minimum 10 character requirement. cant post a smiley so hmmmmmmm n :)

[harley98]

Ahh okay (:

[AprilRN1210]

when you are writing such an emotional, heartfelt piece, it kind of takes away from the feeling of sincerity and honesty when you use abbreviations.. "u", "ur", etc... it takes away the power of your words.. also recommend capitalizing your "I's".. this one was pretty good.. not sure about "did'nt".. vs "didn't"...

also...

(will those dreams of our, endure?)... would change "our" to "ours"...

(It meant whole world & sense).... I stumbled a little here.. think it needs a (the) after "meant".. but it kinda doesn't make sense to me that way.. might reword it to say something like.. (the whole world then made sense)....

also stumbled on last line.. you want to end with a bang.. sum up the whole poem.. leave the reader with something... know you are trying to rhyme with down... but think you could end stronger than that..

overall, it is very nice.. look forward to reading more..

[Nitesh Mahabal]

actually i had written it down aftr a brk up. it jst came up spontenously so i din try to add or edit any of it.. it was jst pure emotion.
thanks for ur efforts of going so deep, it means so mch

[AprilRN1210]

I can understand and relate as I don't severely edit my more emotional pieces, but sometimes grammar does matter.. just depends on how much you want to evoke the same emotion in your readers... or just tell them the story.. know what I mean?

[Nitesh Mahabal]

hmmmmm i like to express it in a imperfect way. not evrythngs gotta b perfect

[AprilRN1210]

trust me, I agree.. it is all about expression of yourself.. my reviews are always just my opinion and suggestions.. me trying to help.. you know you better than anyone else..

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Its more than opinion and suggestion for me. just that m too attached to this one so got defensive dun mind.

[AprilRN1210]

I understand.. :)

[Nitesh Mahabal]

ur Swtheart indeed. Jst for once Thank u fr understanding "april maam"