Two Alive, One Down

Please tell me what you think about this poem :)

Two Alive, One Down

Only yesterday, the sun shined bright ; 

And beneath the clouds, the birds took flight.

Only yesterday, I sat in my class ;

And during recess, played in the grass.

But later that night, the bombs were dropped ;

The sound so loud, our hearts stopped.

All had changed, changed utterly ; 

My village shook, torn bitterly.

The factory was burnt, the sheep dead ;

The engulfing smoke, the people fled.

Throughout the day, mother just cried ;

Awaiting father's return, until her tears dried.

When evening came, she filled our bag ;

We hurried past the pole with the tattered flag.

"Where is father? " I ask, her lips frown ;

Mother and daughter - Two alive, One down.

Mother shut my eyes, as we stumbled past the town ;

" It's too bad out here ! " she said, holding my gown.

Amidst her fingers, I saw the town red ;

Men, children and animals alike, Dead .

Mother looked ahead, sobbing loudly ;

Maybe she was scared she'll see father's body.

As we neared the street where the living met up ;

We were handed some bread, milk and a cup.

I picked up a pebble , clenching it tight ;

And looked at it throughout our journey by flight.

Help was here, we were safe now ;

Mother and daughter - Two alive, One down.

Author's Note

Picture courtesy : Google images

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful and sad tale in the poetry.
"When evening came, she filled our bag ;
We hurried past the pole with the tattered flag.
"Where is father? " I ask, her lips frown ;
Mother and daughter - Two alive, One down."
The poem told of a life where lessons are learn too early and hard. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Nirupama.H]

Thank you. I'm glad you liked it :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I did and you are welcome.

[Rajesh KP]

All changed utterly and a terrible beauty is born.... Reminds me Yeats...

[Nirupama.H]

Yes. The line is from Yeats. I was given this line to write a poem on.. and this was the outcome.read moreYes. The line is from Yeats. I was given this line to write a poem on.. and this was the outcome.
Thank you for the comment!

[Valentine]

This is a very deep write, it left me wishing that it was not true. Valentine

[Nirupama.H]

Thank you.
I hope world peace is a reality one day.. Shouldn't we put it before time travel or colonising space?

[Trisha Logan Hillery]

Beautiful poem, thanks so much for sharing it.

[Nirupama.H]

Thank you for reading and commenting.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so many suffer when bombs are dropped...the devastation always goes far beyond the intended target---

and the scars never really heal properly...always an open wound.

really well presented.

j.

[Nirupama.H]

So true !
Thanks a lot.

[Deepa Ragunathan]

*wipes tears*
This was moving. Terrorism and war can be hard on civilians, and a daughter's loss of a father is definitely not something I want to feel! This one made me want to pray, just as a thank you for letting my family live.
The emotions run high, and the stark contrast between her normal day and that moment is so shocking, and sad.

[Nirupama.H]

Glad you were able to relate with it.Thank you :)

[Terry O'Leary]

Vivid description of the horrors of war... well done!

[Nirupama.H]

Thank you :)

[Emily]

I really like this one!
Well done!
Keep on writing!!

[Nirupama.H]

Thank you :)

[SWANN]

This is so beautiful. I have no words.

[Nirupama.H]

Thanks a lot :)

[Perkele.7885]

This is a heart-felt poem, for whomever reads it. It reads to the gravity of the times, that families like yours are having to live through, your towns and villages destroyed, your ways of life no longer viable, your futures as well as your present uncertain. Your poem open eyes and hearts!

[Nirupama.H]

I'm glad you like it .. the sad part is that all this really happens in many parts of the world ...