Prologue

The start of it all.

After that incident the earth has never been the same. Humans could no longer go outside of the safe areas. It was too dangerous. They decided to look out for children with unique talents. Enough to stop this so called "Eye of the Storm" from completely destroying the earth and any living creature on it. The created a building in order for youth to find their unique talents and train them into becoming something better. They created a monster, in their eyes it was a ruler. Someone who they thought would keep them safe. It was just as they created though, it truly was a monster. It took over the entire operation. He still trained youths, but if he saw them useless after their training, he would get rid of them. Not only did he keep training youths, but he trained adults too. He was a monster of fire, flames, and death. Many say they would rather be in the "Eye of the Storm" then in grasp of the monster. Many have also said it comes with it's benefits. That's the beginning of how this all started. I was to be sent for training, and unlocking my "so called" unique ability, if I had any. My parents were already their. I was being raised by someone I did not know. They'd say they were related to me, but in these days you could never really trust anyone. "Are you ready to go?" My caretaker yelled from the outside of the house. I didn't answer. I wasn't ready, I would never really be ready. I couldn't even be physically prepared. I wasn't aloud to bring anything except one item from home. It's difficult to choose just one item, so I wanted to go empty handed.
An elderly lady approached me. She lived down the road. She had a box with tied with a silver bow. She handed it to me and smiled,"Take this with you." I waved to her as she walked home. I opened the plain white box with the silver bow, only to find seven stones that were almost flat, but they had little dips in them. They had been laid out evenly and with care. In the center, there was a large silver marble. It fit in the palm of my hand. If she walked all the way here just to give me this, it must have been important. She never leaves her house, and watchings life go by from the window. This is the one thing I shall take. This box with these unusual rocks. They came to pick me up. It was a metal vehicle. It was shaped like a giant box. Inside sat kids and adults of a variety of ages. Many of them were holding something very dear to them, and I was sitting there hold a box of rocks. I made no eye contact with anyone, I didn't want to show my fear, even though it could obviously be seen. We all were dropped off at this tall building. I remember over hearing a group of elders calling it the "Fear Building." I understood why they called it that. It was a metal building with no windows, countless floors, and a giant metal gate that blocked the front. It looked like the building continued upwards into the clouds and just kept going. I looked up and couldn't even see the top. The opened the metal gate. We walked through, the halls were long and wide. There were many doors. Everything was metal, it had a very metal like smell. It smelled like this place hasn't gotten a fresh breathe in several years. It also reeked of smoke and ash, probably from the forever burning fire that kept their "Master" alive. Those who worked there walked around aimlessly, like zombies. Everything else was pretty quiet. We were told to wait in a special room until it was our turn. Our turn for what? I had no idea. They called us in one at a time, some came back, others did not. Those who did come back were not aloud to tell the ones who haven't gone yet, what went on in there. In fact, they were kept separate from us. My time came closer and closer. They called my name and I rose. I did not wish to go, but I was already this far and it was not my chose to change my own mind. I entered through the large doors. They reached all the way to the ceiling and were very skinny. They lead into a blank hallway and at the end of the hallway was a opened door. Inside that room, it was illuminated red and orange, the colors of fire. Every step closer I took the more my heart dropped and the closer the smell of ash and death protruded from the room. I reached the red room, a fire was crackling at the far end of the room, but it was told to sit with back towards the fire in a tall, yet fancy green chair. "You will be asked 5 questions. You must answer them truthfully." A worker told me and walked out of the room, then closed the door behind them-self. I waited to be asked questions.
"What is your name?" A deep, close voice suddenly spoke. "Uh, it's um..." I was so nervous I couldn't even spoke, but I had to get myself together. What could happen if I failed? " My name is Alexis, also though most people call me Lex." I tried saying calmly.

Reviews

[AJ]

I would agree with structuring the story so it's less cramped. I would also suggest describing in a little more detail of maybe how the world came to be this way. What some of the abilities these people have are. what she thinks and knows about her abilities in a little more detail. And more description of movement. Make the reader feel like they are there with your main character, sitting in the truck or talking to workers. Maybe describe in better detail any fears or suspicions or doubts she has it will make her seem more relatable. I hope this helps you do have a good start here, I hope you can use some of my suggestions. I hope I can read more of this story.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Good start, like it so far. Just one word of advice, here it is, paragraphs!