Turning Prose into Poetry - exercise 1

As an exercise for a writing course I am taking, I had to read an example of Prose, and then revise that example to another genre. I chose poetry as the other genre.

As darkness rolled in
the feeling of urgency
became stronger.
Exhausted from the attempt to escape;
falling, I felt a presence.

Feeling terratorial,
I came off more gruff
than I intended.

Another lost soul
attempting refuge from the storm
did not deserve my accusatory attitude.

Surrendering myself,
which is not easily done,
I realized that I was in need
of a friend.

Author's Note

figuring out punctuation in a poem has always been extremely challenging to me. I am open to positive advice on how to fix the punctuation I have in this poem. One of the things I really want to work on and learn, is correct punctuation within poetry.

Reviews

[blue angel]

Turning prose into poetry. There is a such thing as prose poetry. Through alliteration, metaphorical usages and smooth cadences it shines through nicely. As for punctuation, poets use it for many different reasons, or leave it out altogether. You need to focus more on breaks rather than punctuation. The punctuation should be used the same as it would be in prose writings. Your longer sentences disrupts the flow, in my opinion. Sometimes punctuation isn't used on the ends of stanzas if they link down to the next stanza. I've seen experts use punctuations to pace their readers too. For Example I would have done this: shortened couplets. All suggestions for poetry is subjective. Most often you'd use punctuation the same as you would in ordinary writings. This is ultimately your baby, so these are just merely suggestion. I like the poem very much. I think it would benefit more by arranging the structure differently. Good luck with your exercise. Respectfully, blue angel

Darkness,
unfurled the feel of urgency.

Exhausted, and falling,
from the attempts to escape.

Stronger,
I felt a presence.

Feeling territorial,
I came off more gruff.

Another lost soul,
seeking refuge from the storm.

Surrendering myself,
which is not easily done.

I realized,
I was in need of a friend.

[Nini]

Thank you for your review and suggestions. You were very helpful. Your review is greatly appreciated :-)

[blue angel]

You're very welcome! :)

[....................]

Blue Angel nails it! Prose can be written poetically and depending on what words and images you wish to emphasize, your breaks, or punctuation, have to be placed to achieve that goal. I love what you did in this piece and am thankful that you are sharing your words.
Cheers, FT

[Nini]

Thank you so much! I'm learning. I've written since I was a child, but I want to write right as well :-) I really appreciate everyone's suggestions and advice.

[....................]

You are welcome! It seems you are well on the way to your goal and by seeking out advice and taking constructive criticism are invaluable tools as you already know. I enjoy your work and will be following it.

FT

[luvs2write]

I agree with blue angel. I wouldn't call myself a poet, but I do enjoy reading and writing poetry. When I puncuate my poems (and I have no idea if this is right or not) I use the commas and periods to indicate where the reader should pause and take a breath. I enjoyed reading this, keep writing!!

[Nini]

Thank you for your input! I wouldn't call myself a poet either. I enjoy writing, writing of all kinds. Punctuation is always confusing to me in this genre though. Your insight was very helpful :-)