Dorian's Ruin

One of the harder pages to read, towards the back of the book. After being abandoned by his party, Dorian picks himself up out of his depression and starts looking for a new plane of existence.

Dimensions have past

Crumpled me like my discarded songs

Sent me to a place

Where the Tea do not soothe

Where the music's out of tune

and what am I?

Just a quiet rage,

dissonance without words,

An empty cup unwilling to be filled,

And the petals fall from the roses outside.

I pick myself up, a crust on the floor

A ruin to what I was, and yet

You don't get to tell me that I'm not alive-

I've died too many times to not know I'll come back

and I'm weak and I'm willful and I'm willing to try

If for no other reason than to say "I didn't die with you"...

And the music does come back

in a whisper, in a dirge, in a ballad

of what life is like without them, after them

Terror rising with the budding of new blooms

Meanwhile I take eons stuttering out my tune

A song of survival, of crawling, if I have to

My grief will shatter the worlds into 

Whatever I need them to be, to be better

This is my hymn, as my petals fall

That with every step's resonance

I owe less to them all

I survive first in shaking silence, then my music lives on

A hunger I rebuild, a thirst for calm headspace

Where giving up is a softness I no longer crave

Where my tale will not die, my children will know me,

My friends will not lie, nor my boldness condemn me,

And my soul won't be sold for my love,

With the husks of dried blossoms crumbling away.

Reviews

[JayG]

Song lyrics without the music are meaningless without the music. America's, Tin Man, demonstrates that.

And given that you pay no attention to prosody, don't rhyme, have indention that seems to have no purpose that the reader is aware of, and, are talking to someone never introduced, what can this mean to the reader?

Sure, you have intent and memory making it meaningful to you as you read it. But intent doesn't make it to the page, and you provide the reader with no context to give them more than words in a row, meaning unknown.

A bit of research into the tricks of songwriting and poetry might make some sense.