Existence

Though it may seem that the troubles of young children are not so much a speck as compared to those of adults, I say we should think again. Even an eleven year old girl can be a sea of emotions.

'All life has to offer me is a bundle of burdens. And there isn't any point in solving them at all', my voice shook, as I said this. The tinge of naivety that overshadowed my childish tone made me feel silly and ignorable.
But the boy nodded and said, 'You're just eleven, and you're already as worried as an adult. But I know what you mean.'
Rage kept me from shouting. 'Adults have their own problems, I know. But I think we children have problems too- problems that are even comparable to that of grown ups.'
I felt even sillier when I realised that what I would probably sound like a kindergartener under distress.
I held back from crying. There were numerous things going through my eleven year old head at that time- exasperation, dissatisfaction, paranoia, guilt, love, hatred, insecurity, aggression, anger, homework... Yes homework and studies. And jealousy. I wasn't jealous of my classmates but, ironically, of the brains of Gauss and Einstein, Monet and Picasso, Carroll and Wells, Curie and Raman, the list is as endless as the timeline, of course. Quite unusual for a girl of that age, adults might think; but what do they know.
'You're overworking yourself.'
He turned to me, with a peculiar smile. A smile that showed the superiority and maturity of a few months difference in age. A smile that made my heart wilt at the thought of how young and insignificant I was.
I frowned, my contempt to the entire world purely visible in my sulking countenance.
His smile retracted into seriousness, catching me by surprise.
'You know, you seem really frustrated. Do you hate everyone, or is it just me?'
'No, I don't hate you! You're the most awesome person I've ever met!' My response was quite involuntary, and I felt rather embarrassed. But he beamed proudly and said, 'So are you. And it's just that you don't realise that.'
The boy stood, wiping his palms against his jeans. I watched him do that. Probably because there was nothing more interesting to be looking at in that dimly lit room.
'Do you know why I slipped in here to wake you up? I want to show you a masterpiece... Of God.'
I laughed with scorn. 'Well, God took his time to make his own masterpiece, didn't he? But there's hardly a bit of time for him to clear the tension off my puny mind.'
'That's not his job, you know. It's up to you to stay cool headed. I mean, how do you expect him to only care about a single person, when there's billions of people living in this planet?'
'But it's unfair. And I'm thinking of becoming an atheist', I said gingerly, the words like daggers poking my tongue.
He scratched his head and remarked, 'An atheist? You can't think of anything that can help you with your... Uh, as you say...really unpleasant life?'
His words sounded strange even to me. How old was I? How could I be thinking about such inhuman things? My thoughts blistered my mind, and I was terrified at the beast I'd become.
'Hey, I know you believe in God as much as you believe in the theory of relativity. That's great, that's how it's supposed to be. Self doubt can cloud a person's mind.'
He glanced at his watch. 'We still have time. Hurry up.'
We jumped out from our camping site and headed for the rocky ledge.
I walked carefully, blinded by the warm pair of hands over my eyes- a confused eleven year old girl, pressing her unsteady bare feet against the hard mountain rock. A young fellow, a few months older than her, with his hands enveloping her squinting eyes, a playful smile lingering on the edge of his mouth.
'Where are you leading me? I mean, do you have any idea how hard it is to walk without having any sense of direction at all?'
My question was answered with a blunt laugh. 'Well, bear with me for a while. What I'm going to show you is definitely going to take your breath away. It'll make you believe that God does have time to spare, in his busy schedule.'
He paced along, absentmindedly dragging me with him. The urge to pull away and take a much needed look at my surroundings was clawing at my mind.
'Well here we are', he said, placing a foot in front of mine, so as to make me halt.
'Then take your hands off. I want to see whatever you've got to show.'
'Prepare to be amazed', and his sweaty palms came off my eagerly awaiting eyes.
It took a while for them to adjust, but it took a longer while to register what they were seeing.
I was staring right down, into a large abyss, darkening with depth. The first thought I had was that I was going to fall into it- that the dark pit would consume my screams and my seemingly endless fall would come to a horrible and quick end.
I lunged back, grasping the boy's shoulders with such fear and force, that he even stepped back from my weight. My eyes that had longed to witness daylight, were clenched shut, beads of sweat trickling down my forehead.
Resisting the temptation to scream, the little girl I was, breathlessly muttered, 'Well, that was the worst prank you've ever played. And you are a monster! I hate you! What's all this about, huh?'
I glared at his large, widened eyes with all the hatred I could muster. He looked back into mine, but with a brotherly gentleness, still quite overwhelmed.
Aghast by my sudden reaction, the boy replied with that same playful grin, 'Hey, don't look down, alright? Or at my eyes, for that matter, though I know they're amazing.'
Pausing to grin once again, he continued, 'Look straight ahead, will you?'
I did look down, despite my efforts, and the huge abyss, a three hundred foot deep deathbed, seemed to call me towards it. I wondered whether I wanted to surrender to its dark forces and jump. But common sense and the twelve year old boy's firm grip kept my trembling feet rooted to the ground.
At last, I gathered the courage to look ahead.
What I saw couldn't be expressed in simple words. I could go on for paragraphs and pages about it, but I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to bring the exact picture to the reader's mind.
The view ahead was glittered with pine trees, their minute needles reflecting the soft, reviving light of the rising sun. And the sun itself was giving off warm rays of morning light, which illuminated the distant peaks that adorned an irregular, mystical horizon.
The peaks, scattered with trees bearing droplets of icy dew, looked like human hands reaching out to the colourful newborn sky. These tender azure hands held up the emerging sun, like a mother holding her precious child. The very caring fingers were shoving the brilliant ball of fire up, like a mother bird teaching her hatchlings to fly. The iridescent sunshine painted the formerly dark sky with a pale pink hue, later changing its mind and smearing a radiant marigold colour around the divine child.
The valley brightened slowly, welcoming the warmth of the sunbeams to devour the pallid snow that rested on its gentle curve, while the trees regained their marvellous viridian hue, as the snow glided off their luscious foliage. The sight was one of the finest creations of God- indescribably magnificent, though it may sound oxymoronic, after my passable attempts to recapture its otherworldly beauty.
My eleven year old self took the time to seep in this view. I fell in love with the sight before me, replenishing my opinions about creationism itself, that I felt embarrassed enough to let my joyous tears flow rivers down my burning cheeks.
'It's very pretty', was all I could manage.
'It is very pretty', the boy said, his long fingers making sure that my awe didn't pull me forward, lest I should topple over into the clutches of death.
He took a long breath and sighed. 'I knew it was worth waking up this early to bring you here.'
Words failed me. My eyes failed to look away from the scenery. My entire body failed to move, and I stood still, waiting for the slightest breeze to push me over, knowing that my existence was solely dependent on those arms that kept me safe. Of course, it was he who brought me to the unforgiving abyss, but it was he who also brought me to a world of enchantment, a serene sight that altered my perspective of life and all that's there to live for.
I turned to him, my eyes constantly wetted by the tears of joy that never ceased to flow.
'You see', he said, his voice ricocheting off the mountainous walls, 'Sometimes we're so preoccupied with negativism, that we don't notice the positives and the wonderful aspects of nature right in front of us. Such is the game of life. You never know what lies in front of you if you don't have the courage to look ahead.'
I smiled. I felt like I'd seen God. And trust me, nothing could ever feel better.

Author's Note

Well, there isn't much of a story in it, but I hope I could convey the idea and the feelings I had when I wrote this. I wanted to highlight the natural aspect, and I'm just learning to do that. Please help me with your suggestions to make this little work of mine better.