DA 4. Couch Chronicle

Mr Omeeshella is put through a mental status examination.... and the revelations are more than they can digest..............

4. Couch Chronicle

“Now what?”…. mused Terry. He resolved to take Mr Omeeshella back home and keep him there, until the psychiatric examination would be done with. Who knows, by then someone might turn up, claiming to be his kin. Sandra would surely understand, under the circumstances. She was in fact more concerned about his safety and welfare. Perhaps they could together find a way out……

Sandra came running down the drive as he helped the old man out, and the two of them walked him inside. The poor man was exhausted and shaken up with the happenings at the ER.

She smiled warmly, “Sir, you are tired. I suggest you have a bath and rest for a while.” Apparently Mr Om wanted just that and was glad to be led into the warm bath ……

Back in the patio, Terry narrated the events of the ER as Sandra listened intently. He looked far into the horizon, lost in thoughts about what lay in store the next day. Sandra ruffled his hair, shaking him out of his reverie. The two sat, sipping their tea.

“Tomorrow’s is Mr Om’s appointment with the Psychiatrist….at 10 am. I hope he won’t be troubled like he was today”.

“Terry darling, all will be fine. Take it easy. Remember…. when all fails, God takes over, hmm? Here’s some cookies I made today.”

“I only wish, He’s seeing all this…” His anxiety filled voice trailed off..

“Oh yea, I can see and hear too… ha ha”. The two were taken by surprise as Mr Om joined in, clad in a pair of pyjamas and a shirt lent by Terry, his eyes twinkling as his frame shook with laughter. It sure was a relief to the two, to see him thus.

Ensconced in a warm couch, munching the cookies and sipping the warm cup of tea, offered by Sandra, he glowed with an unearthly radiance, astounding the two of them. Soon he was helped to his bedroom for a short nap…..

“We’ll take tomorrow as it comes. But first I must call Dr Ashok and let him know that I’d be gone for a few days.” He dialled the number….

* * * * * * * * *

The morning was uneventful and after a quiet breakfast of parathas and egg omelet, Terry escorted Mr Om to the Psychiatric dept taking along his case sheets, reassuring him continuously, lest he turned anxious….

“Hello Mr Omeeshalla, I was waiting for you”, a smiling nurse greeted them “I am Vimla and you must be Dr Terence. Could I have his case sheets please?” She led them to a plush office with the name board, Dr Mathai, HOD. Dr Mathai sat behind the table with another doctor across the table. A couch lay at one end.

Dr Mathai greeted the patient as Terry and Vimla helped him into a vacant chair. Two more doctors entered the office, a female and a male.

“Hello Doctor Mathai. I’m Dr Terence, a GP. Mr Omeeshella here is my patient, referred to you for a psychiatric workup”.

“Heyy Terence! I’ve heard about you. You and Ashok run the clinic down MG road hm? Good repertoire!” He smiled shaking hands with him.

“Hello Mr Omeeshella. I’m Dr Mathai, and I’m a Psychiatrist. Dr Joe, Dr Ramesh and Dr Beena here are the psychiatric interns. How are you today”?

“I guess I’m ok. But why am I here? Do you think that I’m mentally ill?.......mad??” He squirmed in his chair.

“Not at all. To me you seem mentally too well. But you seem disturbed…like many of us feel, at the end of a gruelling day. There’s something that’s bothering you deep within. And we are here to help you sort out that something”. Dr Mathai smiled to him.

Mr Om looked to Terry, who gently squeezed his hand in reassurance. He smiled to Dr Mathai.

“Now Drs Joe and Beena and Ramesh would like to talk with you and I’ll be seeing you tomorrow as I am a wee bit busy today. Is that ok Mr Om?” The old man nodded assent.

Now, the three of you, I want a good summary of the case. Is that clear?”

“Sure sir”. A chorus and a nod..

After Dr Mathai had left, Joe and Beena helped Mr Om lie on the couch, citing need for rest. He lay down and clutched at Sam’s hand, who sat by the couch on the other side.

The friendly interns took seat by the patient, poised to make the ‘process record’ and document the details of the Mental Status Examination.

Dr Joe : So I guess your name is Mr Omeeshella. Right?

Mr Om: That’s not my name. I am what you’d say, God the Almighty. Do you understand that, son?

Dr Joe suppressed a smile, “Oh of course”. But tell me your real name….. tell me what your people call you?”

Mr Om: “My people?” Groaning, he looked pathetically around, “Son, they call me by all kind of weird names, and I really do not know who I am! Now you can help me with this”.

Dr Beena made a note… “Identity crisis”

Dr Joe: “Sure. That’s why I am here. So tell me what name they call you by”.

Mr Om looked up helplessly and pleadingly, “I do not know where to begin”. Terry squeezed his hand gently for assurance.

Dr Joe: “Relax buddy, just start wherever you feel like.”

Mr Om grabbed the doctor’s hands, stunning the latter, “You are so kind doctor, you called me buddy. Yes, I want to be a friend to all, and yet they torture me day and night, mentally and physically, men and women...... I want to share their joys and sorrows, and they put me in chains, lock me up in cells and parade me on the streets….in the most bizarre attire. Oh oh I cant bear it anymore!!”.....his voice shook as he wheezed uncontrollably.

Dr Joe dismissed the thought of pulling back and gently held the old man’s hands. Mr Om looked pleadingly into the doctor’s eyes.

Dr Beena scribbled furiously into her notepad adding her comment - …. “Patient has persecutory ideas….”

Mr Om: You must believe me,..... I am God and none else. I have no other name. I made this earth and the skies and all the living beings on earth. I made the universe. I breathed life into all living beings, I made the sun and the moon and all the stars, I ……….. (pause)……..Do you believe me friend?

Dr Joe felt moved, but realized immediately the gravity of the situation. “Yes I believe in all that you say”. He smiled assuredly.

The three doctors exchanged furtive glances, excited at having come across a ‘yumm’ case after a long period of lull what with the standard mundane cases. This is going to create ripples…!

“Grandiose delusions”, Jotted down Dr Beena.

Dr Beena shook her head vigorously, her pony tail bouncing about as she continued scribbling, her dark eyes bright at having come across such a clear cut set of symptoms. She recollected the rush and push she and the other interns underwent every day, to get hold of a proper and ‘interesting case’, in their race to be the ‘one’ to make a ‘novel presentation’ at the weekly clinical conferences. And wow, they’d finally laid their hands on just one like that ….. ! She controlled the rising waves of ecstasy within ….

“…..but you must tell me what names these others call you by. Now, your registration slip says that you are Omeeshella….”

Mr Om looked resigned, “Oh that…it’s the name the young lady at the reception gave me…. a couple of days ago, at my friend doctor Terence’s clinic. Very nice lady,.... was a bit exasperated with my ‘ramblings’ as she put it. And then she said, she’d christen me with a name, merging the names of three Gods, ’Om’, ‘Eesh’ and Allah……rather fancy names hm? When I asked her about those three Gods, she said they were hand-picked from millions of gods that graced this earth, and that three would suffice for now”. He spoke in earnest….

Dr Joe: “Hmm……interesting…...”

Terry couldn’t help smiling……amused and stunned at Sheila’s wit and ingenuity. He wasn’t aware of this hidden talent of his receptionist!

Dr Ramesh: “So what other names do people call you by? Sir, be relaxed and tell us as you recount them”.

Mr Om smiled ruefully and began, “... Mebeghe, bengale, yemovo, chiuta, sanahary, mebere, jesus, al rahim, achelois, parvati, alastor, Morpheus, brahma, mebere, achelois, achelous, alastor, nirankarm amaterasu, amida, ayyappa, bishamon, ebisu, fujin, izanami, kaminari, uba, waheguru, andumbulu, ane, anotchi, ram, asa, atai, ataokoloinona, azrail, subramania, azrail, mbombo, al khafid, mnongo, mboya, mbege, minona, mo dimo, monokomu, yansan, yasigi, yeban, yemanja, allah, brizo, cybele, eros, pontos, harmonia, budha, vishnu, shiva, yemaya, al fatah, yurugu, chiuta, chonganda, yembo, change, lakshmi, chedi, yemovo, yurugu, al hazim, zanaharibe, zanahary, chuku, fortune, saraswathi, venus, saturn……..” The rambling continued with Mr Om pausing just to take a deep breath.

Dr Beena furiously scribbled the longest list of names on the note pad........as Dr Joe and Dr Ramesh waited indulgently for Mr Om to stop his rambling narration. Having realized that the list was going to be an unending one, Dr Joe gently interjected, “Now now this is the longest list of names I’ve ever heard. You could easily qualify for an entry into the Guinness book of world records......!”

Dr Beena in the meantime surreptitiously switched on the voice recorder on her cell phone, unable to keep pace with the narration……

Mr Om raised himself on his elbows, with a wild look in his eyes, “Wait, I’m not finished yet,….I’m also addressed as Durga, Jagganath, Mathownyn, Elaine, Jalandhara, dagda, amitayus, khumbu I yul, macha, appchungdu, kalachakra, Jambhavan, amitayus, amoghasiddhi, khumbu I yulha, jambavat……..” The list continued……..

Dr Joe directed the intern to add, “Client shows signs of confabulation and circumstantiality”

After about what seemed more than half an hour, and with Mr Om showing no signs of coming to a stop, Dr Joe interjected for a second time, “well that should be enough. Thank you Sir.”

Mr Om appeared irritated and agitated at the interruption and tried to sit up again looking wildly about, his voice quivering with excitement, as his speech became garbled making it impossible to understand what he was saying… “But, it’s not over. You’ll get to know the torture I undergo every moment, with this name calling from every corner, only if you get it all....I feel I’ll go mad..” This time the doctors could make out what he was trying to say.

Dr Beena jotted down… “manic phase…… and more persecutory ideas……”

Dr Joe: “Do you actually hear these names being called out and addressed to you?”

Mr Om: “Then what? And the names are called simultaneously from every corner of the earth. They are accompanied with a variety of loud music and chanting. It’s deafening and maddening!” He shuddered even as he mentioned it.

Dr Joe: “Can you hear these sounds right now, lying on the couch over here?”

Mr Om: “Yes yes. Only I’ve lost the stamina to actually hear it well”….a relief indeed…..

“Ahaa…. auditory hallucinations!”… Dr Beena made a quick note.

Dr Ramesh: “Can you see all these people from across the earth?”

Mr Om: “Of course. I can see them all from here. Some are dancing like maniacs and some have pierced their cheeks and jumping like mad on burning coal, to please me. And there are others, climbing mountains, rushing about jostling against each other, and some even flying off to far off places.. just to reach out to me. And out there, they are killing animals and humans and bathing me with blood…just to appease me…..Oh oh what has mankind come to…!

Dr Beena quickly added, “Complex Visual hallucinations too…..” Wow… she was savouring every moment of her recording!........this was simply heavenly……..!! She imagined herself and her team on stage presenting the clinical picture of Mr Om…..and a shiver of excitement ran down her spine….! Quickly she came out of her reverie… Now for a proper case history…

Dr Joe: “OK then. I’ll have my assistant sit with you a little later, and make a compilation of all the names you are called by. That will give us time to proceed with the remaining part of the interview right now.... if that won’t be a bother for you......hm?” Dr Joe smiled with true concern for the ailing client, which perhaps touched the old man’s very core and he lay back in the couch.

“All right then. What’s your next question? Hope I can give you a simple answer”. He agreed.

Relieved, Dr Joe proceeded to the next question, “Ok, tell me how old are you?”

Mr Om looked far into the horizon, took a deep breath and said, “I am eons old, child. Now I wonder how you will put that on your note pad”

Dr Joe appeared mildly irritated, “Tell me how many years?”

Mr Om: “Many”

Dr Beena looked up from her notepad, “How many zeros do I put after a one...or two…. 100? 1000?.... a million?.... a zillion...?

Mr Om: That’s a better way of asking it. No, its more than that. Put a one and then keep on writing zeros. I wish I could tell you when to stop though……

Dr Beena made a note, and added, “Disoriented to time…..”

Dr Joe: “Tell me your gender. Are you female or male?”

Mr Om: “Neither”

Dr Ramesh now shocked, blurted out, “Are you serious? Do you know what you are getting into?.. are you a hermaphrodite?”

Mr Om looked resignedly at Dr Ramesh, “I am neither female, nor male. This is the truth. And if you want to refer to me by that fancy gender name,..... well I lack the zest to object or retaliate.”

Where do you belong?.......I mean which part of the country are you from?

“I come from heaven, seeking a solution for my malady, from those I created. I’ve seen and heard of many wonderful doctors here.” He smiled indulgently

The interns rolled their eyes....... “absolute disorientation to place and delusions of grandeur.......”

‘What’s your religion?..... and caste?”

Mr Om: “Now what’s that?”

“What’s your religious faith? .....Are you a Hindu or Muslim or Christian, Buddhist, Jew, Shinto, Zoroastrian, Jain or or.......?

“ Hey, you are being offensive!..... What is this thing called religion? I only created living beings, humans, animals, birds and so on. And the humans made these fancy categories in my name! ...the same beings I created…..(sic!). I made only two faiths.... male and female, both with unlimited power, and I sat back dreaming of infinite bliss on earth. But alas!.... one has turned into the master and hunter and the other, the slave and the hunted. How shameful and grotesque! Sob!” What more, now forgotten me, their creator and cloned me a million times, modifying each one to suit their taste. He shook with loud manic laughter, and as the others gaped at him, suddenly began to weep pitifully...............

The interns failed to mask their astonishment at the strange responses.

Dr Beena scribbled on….. “Bipolar disorder with rapidly fluctuating manic and depressive states”

Dr Ramesh tried hard to control a guffaw “Hey Beens”, he whispered to Dr Beena, “I won’t be surprised if this old man actually turns out to be the ‘Creator’….” But soon a hard scowl from Dr Joe, their senior, made him choke and turn pink, and he quickly regained his professional composure.

A kaleidoscope of diagnoses played in their minds.... and they yearned to get the case ready for the next clinical presentation…......!.

“Your educational qualification Sir?” Seeing the quizzical look on the old man’s face, the intern elaborated further, “Have you been to College Sir....... or was it just School?”

“Oh well, I’ve been to neither. I just did my duty as best as I could” . Dr Beena made a note against the heading ‘qualification’ - “illiterate”

“Do you know to put your signature Sir?”

“Of course. And I don’t tire of signing over every creation of mine. You guys call it the birth mark”….

Four pairs of eyebrows shot up in amazement….”Oh the nevus!” So the old man must be a writer of sorts. He really can spin yarns… and pretty long ones…!

“So, what kind of work do you do ... or did you do Sir, before you retired?”

The old man suddenly turned indignant.... “I’ve not yet retired,...neither will I, for eons to come. Such is my kind of work”.

“What work do you do Sir?”

“Let me put it simply for you. I paint the world, the planets,....the milky way.... the galaxy.... and then make them spin. Well you may find it hard to grasp……

Dr Ramesh swore under his breath, “….Pleasure to be in conversation with you….. Mr ‘Universal manager’, this morning”

“Sir, could you give us the name of your next of kin or a family member, just in case we need to get in touch with......”

“Son, the world is my family. Yet, (he looked wildly about), there’s none to call my own. Such is my state” Several emotions flashed across his face as he looked desperately about, .as if for some family member.

“Hmm......the old man is abandoned. No wonder because of his delusional and megalomaniac ways............”. The three interns mused.

“I am his family. You may add my name there, and call me anytime day or night, for anything concerning his care”. Terry stood up. “Do you think you want to proceed further? Its lunch time and Mr Om needs to rest too.”

Dr Beena recorded Dr Terence as the patient’s NOK (Next of kin)

OMG! The interns whistled, “We didn’t know it was so late! Ok then, shall we meet tomorrow…. same time?”

Terry was glad to bundle him into his car…………. The poor man had had to bear up with too much pressure on the second day in succession…

**********

............... Continued

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