M 2. Little Sam and I

The Pleasure and pain of being a new mom.........

Little Sam and I

t was a bright sunny morning. People bustled about as usual, chirping, chattering,... exchanging pleasantries. I groaned hard, gritting my teeth, trying to fight the pain that arose… I do not know from where. My throat was parched,.. lips dry. My left hand ached with the intravenous needle sticking into it. Through the pain, I raised my head, waiting eagerly....my eyes scanning the corridor for their arrival. Where were they? How much more to wait? Oh the pain was soo excruciating………!

Footsteps in the distance……. Moving closer to me? My heart beat faster....and then they came with my little Sam. I feasted my eyes on my babe for the first time,…... voraciously taking in everything…….his dark little eyes shut tight.... an angry frown at having been disturbed...... the little hands ….palms tightly clenched..... Something warm stirred up within me…a surge of happiness. Here at last was my bundle of joy! Reaching out, I touched his tender skin with my free right hand… did he smile? Oh, my imagination. The mother in me cried out, “My son!” I looked at his father standing by, and said within… “This is our love, dearest…in person”. I wonder if he heard.

It took me another two days to be free to really have a good look at our baby. He would squint at the glaring light and vehemently shut his eyes. I'd lightly run my fingers over his cute little nose, the generous mouth, and the cute little chin. The jet black hair on his head stood on end, and my gentle caressing wouldn’t make them lie down. He had long fingers, delicate and artistic. As I tenderly examined them, he would utter a cry of protest and pull away......sticking them into his mouth...and begin sucking vigorously. He'd continue to squirm and appear disturbed. Feeling cold?.......uneasy? I'd then lift him gingerly onto my lap… and begin to feed. He'd ravenously gulp his meal..... gradually turning into an angel comfortably nestling close and promptly nod off!

Each post operative day thereafter, became a pleasure…with us mama and babe getting to know one another more and more. The two of us had laid the foundation for rapport of co-existence. The pains of surgery waned off just as easily. There were difficult times… like when the ‘elf’ wouldn’t let go off the feeds even after more than 2 hrs, and would give out the loudest bawl ever when I tried to get him off. On such occasions, I simply wished for some sleep. Then I’d try self composed lullabies, which had a magical effect and would readily send the little one to the land of nods! I’d then soon shut my eyes to grab those precious 2 hours of sleep, before my little Sam woke up to his next meal……………….

Snooooooooooze……

12 Apr 1992

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