M 6. Casually divorced...........

Yet another of my musings... though a turning point in my life, that gave me the zest to take what came by.........

Casually Divorced..


“By the way, I’m divorced”. She’d said as a matter of fact, knocking the wind off my sails. It wasn’t the fact that she was divorced, that hit me, but the absolutely casual manner in which she said it. We’d met exactly 7 minutes ago, and she was in the process of introducing herself to me. She could as well have been saying, “I’m a vegetarian”, or “I’m a Parsi”, or even “I’m a Badminton player”.

No, that wasn’t flippancy, but a demeanor of quiet acceptance of the fact..no regrets,…and to top it all, a burning zest for life, unmindful of the traumatic past!

I’d come across many a story of women who were most regretfully divorced and going about with an invisible burden on their drooping shoulders,… and of several others who languished under the inhuman and dastardly treatments of their spouses, yet wouldn’t ever contemplate a separation or divorce from their ‘Pati-Dev’ for fear of ensuing evils, not to add the social stigma that would taint them for life.

Anjali turned out to be an absolutely different entity, with a natural blend of courage and self confidence…. A perfect ‘role-model’ for all those tormented married women in the country…

Wait, its time for an introspection. Wasn’t I yet another victim of domestic abuse? Hadn’t I waited patiently through precious 4 years of my (torturous) married life, for my so-called spouse to turn a new leaf? Life had been a living hell since tying the knot! Oh, the pain of even recalling the heart rending, the blood curdling instances! Yet I had, like an ideal ‘Hindustani wife’, stoically clung on to my ‘Mang-Ka-Sindoor’ and ‘Mangal sootra’ perishing gradually from within, as he piled agony upon agony with the proficiency of a slaughterer…. all so as not to ‘rock the matrimonial boat’.

Pause again….

Continuing to endure the torture to ‘keep the boat afloat’ will get me nowhere. I am educated and gainfully employed and capable of managing my life. Yes, the fear lingers, … of ‘what will happen if’, ‘what will they say’, ‘how will I…’ and many more. Today I shall give precedence to my self esteem. I shall gather myself and revive my shattered world.


Today, I see that ray of hope, which I know shall lead me to freedom, to liberation. And I know I shall muster the confidence to take on the world, single handed….

.... By the way, I’m suing for divorce. Yes, I’m also a non veg, an avid reader,… and an obsessive writer!

Nov 1996

Reviews

[Katriya]

One needs guts to perform what others fear to do. People are scared of rumors and their reputation and suffer through out life bearing up others torturing them repeatedly. Dear Effervescent Dreams congrats to you! such writings will encourage and dare the silent sufferers to become liberal.