I have lied

I apologize.

I have lied

a hundred times and more,

nothing to be proud of,

for now I want to be honest.

I have lied 

to many friends,

even here, at the Writers Cafe,

a year ago, when I was mentally broken.

I have lied,

when I had a good reason,

to keep people from being hurt,

or to keep myself from pain,

so I even lied to myself.

I have lied,

to the first girl I ever loved,

when we were kids.

I have lied,

once it was to test people,

as a result of my anger.

I have lied,

but never led to hurt people,

I never intended to do so.

I have lied,

to myself,

to forget the worst part in me,

to calm myself in my darkest hours.

I have lied,

I ain't no saint,

but believe me dear reader,

I am deeply sorry,

for I wish I had replaced the lie,

with truth or silence.

I have lied,

in my nightly dreams,

I dreamt of one honest mate,

true lover and friend,

but I was wrong,

now I'm left heart broken.

I won't lie to myself anymore,

I won't wait for the right person,

I will live by solitude,

I should pick a new attitude.

Author's Note

Dear friends and fellow poets, I once lied about my health condition, it was one of the worst lies of my life, for which I'm ashamed. There is no excuse for that, but the reason that caused me to lie, was that I was evolving to a new stage of life, and I had many problems to deal with. Now I seem to have handled most of them.
Thank you for reading this confession.
Nima

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

You may have lied in the past, but you can decide to be honest in the future. I don't know your personal history so I assume this is not a pattern. If it is... you may have a personality disorder.

[Green]

Well I can't say I know exactly what you're apologizing for because I have been less active in the last few years, but I'm sure those to whom this is addressed will appreciate it. You seem to have come to a point where you know what you did was wrong and want to do what you can to fix it. That's a rather large step that most people never make. I wish you the best.

[Nima.Hope]

Thank you for your warm words, Green.

[William Michael Reeves]

Admitting your lies is a start. The clock can't turn back. It happened. You did it. I admit I wasn't happy about it at all at the time and it has lessened my respect for you. I was surprised to read this after having been absent from the site for awhile and just happened to see this at the top of the feed. I do sense that you are learning the lesson to be learned and are sincere in your apology. Part of growing up, right? The clock may never turn back but it does keep ticking and you have much life left to live in honesty. Be true to you, be true to me. And in all you do the truth will set you free!

billigami

[Nima.Hope]

The clock won't turn back, so the heart which was broken.
Thank you Bill, I promise I won't disappoint you and other friends, again.

[Jaffer]

Despicable, attention Seeking and fake. No excuse. You play with people emotionally acting as if you're crazy. You're shaming Islam. If you are of our great faith. Shame on you bro.

[Nima.Hope]

Didn't Islam give you a lesson on not to judge people?
I don't claim to be a righteous man. I have had my own series of mistakes for I am sorry about. I don't intend to seek attention, that's not why I wrote this poem. In Islam, the intention is so important. It's a pity for Islam to have people like you, whose actions are prejudicial and of no respect and understanding.

[Jaffer]

A thief cannot argue his cause. You're a thief because you lied. Broke trust. Confession ok. But your still thief. How you argue?

[Nima.Hope]

I don't have any arguments with you. It seems war situation has affected your mind😒.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Nima, it takes guts to do what you have just done. I am delighted to hear that your health is not an issue any longer. So pleased about that. Take care my young friend.

Chris

[Nima.Hope]

My dear friend, dear Chris, It's so heart warming to see your comment here💙. Thank you for your kind words. I wish I had apologized to my friends in here earlier.
You're a diamond here dear Chris,
Best wishes💙💙

[Chris Shaw]

You have done so now. It is enough :)

[Nima.Hope]

I guess it'll never be adequate but I'm trying to fix the trust🥲