The Garnet Hills

The Garnet Hills

A Story by Nila M.

They all went west, the Bakers, the Shortfields, the Sanders, and even eight tenths of the Morris family. They even brought their terrier, Chester. You could find him, tongue lolling, in the back of the wagon, dust in his fur.

The allure of the big sky, big hope and plentiful land was more temptation than they could resist. They stowed their belongings, emptied their accounts and made haste.

They felt free amidst the land. The ochre hills and the eternal blue above. They were at peace in their small camp, awash in violet dusks. Nearly worshipful of the setting sun.

A dispatch from Fort Merry describes an encounter with the travelers in the summer of 1844.

Cpt. Aldritch June the 7th 1844
"Met a fine group of homesteaders heading to the Washaw Valley. Shared supper and invited them to sleep the night behind our gates. They demurred and made their way down the Shepard's pass in evening toward the Garnet Hills area".

The Garnet Hills, they couldn't have known, would be their last camp. And as they left Fort Merry Chester lept from his perch in the back of the wagon and high tailed it back to the safety of the fort.

The Morris family arrived in those hills just a few hours before the rest. But as the Bakers, Shortfields, and Sanders filed into the camp they could tell right away that something was amiss.

Papa Morris, the de facto leader of the expedition was gone. Not gone to do his business behind a tree or something, but gone. Vanished like a magic trick. Mama Morris who everyone called June bug didn't seem to notice, or to care. The Morris children had climbed up the rock scrabble to its highest point and stood like sentries, staring west at the sunset, stiff as boards. Mama Morris, June bug, didn't seem to mind that either.

Tom Baker took such a fright at this strange situation, and the uncanny look in June bug's eye that he gathered up the Baker clan and went for the wagon.

Imagine his surprise when he saw everything but the horses sinking into a stew of wet mud. The Bakers stayed, the Shortfields and the Sanders. Only if just to collect their thoughts. Mama Morris began to fix supper.

No one ever heard from the intrepid pioneers again. No letters back to kin, no applications for land grants and no homesteads.

In the year 1849, a surveying team dispatched from Fort Merry traveled near the Garnet Hills. They complained of problems with their gear. Compasses spinning every which way. And every one of them, in private of course, described a strange type of irritation, even aggression towards their companions. One man claimed to have seen a woman and what looked like children staring out to the west on the large outcropping of stone in the Garnet Hills. When he turned back there was nothing there.

Captain Aldritch heard these stories with some amusement. He chuckled and threw a bone to his terrier, Bonaparte, who once was called Chester, and told the men that wide open spaces have a way of getting into your head.

© 2018 Nila M.


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Reviews

I find this outstanding in many ways. The relaxed and somewhat old fashioned feel. Having read the other reviews, there's little I could add except to say that I enjoyed it.

Posted 6 Years Ago


This is a brilliantly told story. I love reading about the old-time settlers, but this is unlike any story I’ve seen – very original! Your storytelling style is fairly simple, which I like becuz I’m a straightforward reader. I don’t like plowing thru paragraphs of purple prose – you offer just what’s necessary to get the story across. You include plenty of details to show the scene & people. But in today’s online world with short attention spans, I feel a short directly-told story is more likely to be read & enjoyed. Your ending is a little mysterious, causing the reader to ponder what must’ve happened. I feel there might be a few details that I’m not catching, like why rename the dog!?!?! Even if I don’t catch everything, I love your writing style & topic (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Years Ago


Nila M.

6 Years Ago

Thanks so much! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. All the feedback is really encouraging. I've noticed t.. read more
There is a pleasing alacrity and lightness to your prose. I enjoyed reading the story. I do think there is room for more depth to the story, although I think the longer it is the fewer people on the site will read it. How far from the final draft you feel this story is? On the whole I think it is pretty close. A good read.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Nila M.

6 Years Ago

Thanks so much! Yeah, I noticed that longer pieces tend not to be read very much. I was trying to ke.. read more
Very nice. An interesting story written efficiently. That being said, I could see a few more descriptive elements in each section of the narrative. Just a few. This piece comes through as entertaining and original and ya can't get better than that.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Nila M.

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much! I will revisit these stories as you've suggested. Your comments are very encour.. read more
wow this i really and truly enjoyed and believed. Its enchantment at the end carries an air of mystery so the reader wonders a lot. I LOVED THIS

Posted 6 Years Ago


Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)

6 Years Ago

you are welcome i did
now its time to put my lapt op down and make a coffee its sat here and .. read more
Nila M.

6 Years Ago

Enjoy! Saturday, huh. You must be very far away from California, haha
Nila M.

6 Years Ago

Part of a story I posted actually talks about how crazy to cross the international date line.
Enjoyed the story of the pioneers and these immigrant families to the west. Some eerie instances you throw in here and there that makes it exciting and dramatic. I like the historic aspect too.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sami Khalil

6 Years Ago

You are welcome. Are you new here???
Nila M.

6 Years Ago

No, I just haven't been around in a couple of years.
Sami Khalil

6 Years Ago

Ok. I see. See

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6 Reviews
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Added on May 25, 2018
Last Updated on May 26, 2018
Tags: Short, story, fiction

Author

Nila M.
Nila M.

CA



About
I live in California. I love reading, writing and playing music. more..

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Becoming Becoming

A Story by Nila M.



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