The Childs Parable

The hands are the first to go

As December licks away their purpose

And claims them as its own

 

It was my fault anyway  

     Thus the Conviction

     Thus the exile

 

The fingers are the first to fail

As they independently scramble

For whatever nook of warmth available

Like puppies for their mothers breasts

 

And likewise what would mother say

If she were here  

To calm the man, to work her diplomacy

But Herrod acts uncontested

 

Stuck in the night, outside the stone walls

Without armor against the declining mercury

My sleeves too short, the nude arms flashing Sirus

 

Here as the glass air sears by

The white sacrament begins

I am petrified like a mantis

The arms outstretched praying, praying

To that pale face in the sky

As Luna stares a dead eye down at me  

And for a whisper of a second, feigns pity

 

I give my silent moans to the sky

Tasting the crystalline breeze

Response given only by the forest of skeletons

Cracking and breaking

 

Oh God, oh God,

And here I am at seven years

Learning to pray

Without words, without preacher, without angle

In the dead of it all, my icy baptism

Kiss of Judas, kiss of death

The reaper raping my foreign skin

 

The body no longer shivers but seizes

And I replay my birth

The fetal stance in the stomach of the tundra

Skin pale blue, the lungs fail to fail

 

And in the passing of half a candle notch

My small body is a stranger

All that is me, all that is felt  

Is it this that they call a soul

 

And then the door opens

And as if it had been a dream

His face stares at me from above

The dead eyes black as between stars

And all the while feigns remorse

Author's Note

Be critical.

Reviews

[Vishuddha]

A minor point: you say the moon feigns pity. Later, you say your father feigns remorse. By using the same word you draw a parallel between the moon (a very female image, even a substitute for the mother who is not there but who would intervene if she were, presumably out of pity) and your father. Yet, I think you do not want them in the same place for they do not have the same motives. The moon might even help if she were able while the father certainly would not. Is there reason for the moon to be ingenuine? They both, however, have dead eyes thus the parallel is reinforced. Clarify?

[Nikolas]

The main point of this poem is the feeling of helplessness and feeling abandoned. The word feign is used twice to reinforce this. The moon, which at that point seems to be the only company to the child, is not animate and therefore cannot feel pity for the child, and the child realizes this. Then later when the father feigns remorse for his actions, the boy again realizes that it is fake, the father does not actually feel bad and will inevitably do it again. It's sort of disillusionment in realizing that the world is not kind, hence the title "The Child's Parable"; the child's lesson.

If you think I need to make some changes to make this more clear I would be happy to hear your suggestions.

[Vishuddha]

How about I imagine she feins pity, I think she feins pity, or I wish for her pity? As I said, a minor point.

[Vishuddha]

You must have had one hell-of-a childhood. Your writing of it is magnificent. I hate the cold. I hate it even more after this poem. Otherwise, makes you into a man, like sleeping on a rock. Your imagery is vivid and very effective, very clear. I not only understand what you say, I feel it.