Old Friend

A rough draft

By the garden stands you

Stout and full

A pillar of nature

Holding up the sky

Winking with an orange eye

Leaves broad as a fathers hand

Shading the sunlight

As a green umbrella

There you stand like a god

By the child at your root

You were my first

As I tried to reach the clouds

Only making the second branch

But still a feat for me

And so you became my friend

Talking to you

Who listened so well

You needn’t say a word

The silence said it all

And under that moon

I would sit in your heart

Writing words, writing whatever

On the pages glowing pale

And when spring came around

The tempest threatened you

But none could defeat the mighty you

The tulip king standing proud and high

Till an angry cloud dethroned my friend

And the sky wept and groaned and roared

As you laid across the floor

Silent as never before

There’s a scar in the earth

Where once your foot

No grass dare grow in your stead

A hollow place in the sky

Where sun shines a yellow ray

There just by the garden

Where my friend once stood

Author's Note

It's a rough draft so feel free to tear it apart.

Reviews

[Marie]

Well this tells a poignat story, and it's well written, despite being a first draft.But at the beginning of the poem you write as if this tree is standing in the present, and at the end you reveal that it has fallen. I don't know how you can reconcile this.

[Nikolas]

Yes I know, I was unsure about doing that, but I wanted it to be a surprise at the end, I didn't want to say "stood" at the beginning and give away the end, I wanted the story to unfold. But yes I had that thought.

[Frontier]

A pillar of nature
Holding up the sky

I would sit in your heart
the above are lines I liked and found to be unique

On this part it kinda bothered me that you ended it with you both times:
The tempest threatened you
But none could defeat the mighty you

I do like the atmosphere you created, has a spiritual leaning...