College

   Honestly? College isn't what you always see in movies. Sure there are stereotypical jocks and popular people but really no one always gets along. No one really understands what it's like to wanna die everyday. No one truly gets the feelings that they are unwanted or ignored. People don't walk up to you to spill your lunch but their constant whispers and stares say what they're thinking.

   Honestly? I shouldn't care and I know that. I know that what they think shouldn't matter. But in this sad lonely world, it always feels like me vs. them. Why though? Why do I feel like that? Because that's all it's ever been. I am awkward and gangly. Too tall and freckly. I just know that I don't fit in. I have no specific group or place. I just am.

   Honestly? No one knows besides this site, that I am sitting alone venting all my feelings by myself on campus. There may be thousands of people here but they don't know me. They don't know what i'm like. so I'll sit here and write and write. I'll wait for my next class to start and I go and sit. Bored. 

   honestly? I kinda like being alone. I don't have people's idiotic opinions to listen to, nor do i have to put on some fakeass smile and pretend like everything's ok. I can get sit in the sun and enjoy it's warmth here in Chilly California. I've been waiting for this weather. I've been waiting much too long. I could really use some more sunshine to get me through my days. 

   And Honestly? I call everyone child, even myself. Cuz deep down, there's a child in everyone. People need to learn to embrace that. To love that about life. Don't take offense to it, especially since you are so young still. Take that and run with it. love life to it's fullest. Love those who love you back, and realize that you can be your own friend.....