Over the Battlefields

Over the Battlefields

A Poem by Zoli Fern
"

An experimental poem

"

Too quickly, she stops.

The sky is gray.

Pictures stumble across the clouds; a

A battlefield creek,

A battlefield.

 

On the platform of thoughts,

Of green and orange

Of heavens,

She falls to the ground.

Weak.

 

And overhead, the eagle flies.

© 2016 Zoli Fern


Author's Note

Zoli Fern
I'm not much of a poetry writer, but what do you think? Any pointers?

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Reviews

As Antonyo states below, you should consider writing a positive note in your "Author's Note". You are defeating yourself straight out of the box. You've created a vision using the given words this week and I consider that a great effort. Doing so is not an easy feat! I commend you. "Pictures stumble across the clouds" - I've always enjoyed finding those pictures! I would've liked to see a bit more expanse of your vision, but I believe you have the makings to create even more poetry. Keep up the writing. Practice poetry even more. I like it. Thank you for your entry. I do hope you will consider doing so again.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Beautiful emotions flow through these words;-] Lovely images come through my mind. It starts out sad,but then the eagle brings hope.This is what I feel.

Posted 8 Years Ago


"I'm not much of a poetry writer..." You might want to consider erasing this part, you're pretty good! I love this effort.
Thanks for sharing!

Posted 8 Years Ago


I like the imagery and the description is great Zoli :) I am a poetry beginner too lol. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago



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209 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 8, 2016
Last Updated on March 8, 2016
Tags: battlefield, death, sorrow, weakness, love

Author

Zoli Fern
Zoli Fern

Marquette, MI



About
I started writing stories years ago, and I haven't been able to stop since. I'm always looking for ways to improve my craft, and learning from how others write. more..

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