The Memory of a Lens

I remember I was playing a game with a friend

I told you I would rather focus on you because you were more important 

You said you doubted that, how could that be true when I knew him so much longer 

I don’t think I knew it yet but I was already falling for you 

I began to look forward to any chance I got to interact with you 

They say strong and vivid memories are built on intense emotion

I went through so much when I was younger that I became numb to all of my emotions

Sure they would spark for brief moments but always quickly dulled when I noticed they were there

It’s not something I meant to do but it kept me from hurting 

It also kept me from remembering 

When I think back I just get pictures, the man standing at the water as my mom shared a peaceful moment of realization that she made the right choice

A tall solitary tree against the backdrop of the land that sparked my passion for photography 

I no longer needed to remember cause I could just take pictures 

Then I met you 

At first we didn’t really talk much but mutual friends kept reuniting us

You became my guide through the Starlight Dessert and I quickly realized that with you I felt safe

My walls were down before I even realized how easy it was to talk to you

I found myself wanting to know your story and with you being a writer I was always enthralled 

We would talk about our dreams, our interest, our past, and our futures 

I slowly began to realize that the future I have been dreaming of has you in it 

My emotions have returned to me and they are stronger than I knew they could be 

I was numb and walking through time letting the years pass like seconds, no emotions to fill the time with memories

Now the days feel longer because every day that I get to spend with you is a memory that I will always treasure

Every time I hear your voice, read a poem, hear a song, see a text that has come from you a meaningful memory is made and I look forward to making more with you 

I still have a passion for photography and I want to make it my career but now I know that I no longer need to rely on pictures 

Mon Coeur