Suicide

Drowning sorrows in a dark liquid fire,

Until memories are nothing more

Than nightmares from the past.

Downing pills with no heed to hesitation.

Thoughts fade to blissful oblivion

As the body sinks to the ground.

Rivers of red across uncovered flesh

Flowing in a heated race

Until it pools beneath unsteady feet.

Staring through a metallic hole,

Pulling the trigger with a metal click,

And letting go of that which anchors life unto the world.

Ropes of safety turned to sinister means.

Around the neck like a necklace it drapes.

Tighter and tighter it pulls as the body jerks.

Taking a step off the edge

Into insatiable greedy jaws

Just waiting for destruction. 

Author's Note

I think it could be improved upon. I like the first stanza. After that, it doesn't seem like I keep the same writing style. Thoughts?

Reviews

[D Connolly]

I don't know man, I'll do my best. It's pretty dark LOL! Well, I did notice a few things. All of the stanzas start off with an action verb except the 3rd and 5th. Those start with nouns. I don't know if you meant to do that, but it might help with the consistency. Also, the 5th stanza is the only one that seems to have a second part (the 6th stanza). Maybe reword it to summarize. OR, the 6th stanza could be reworded to imply that DEATH has the insatiable greedy jaws and is waiting... Hope that helps. :)

[K]

Very helpful. Thank you. I'll post the updated version eventually.