My Love Will Last Even Through Death.

     'The sky shouldn't be so bright blue, it should be grey and raining because of today, just like the day she died,' I thought to myself furiously. Today was the day of her funeral, one of the two days I was starting to despise with a passion. It was all caused by me though, I had asked her to come over when it was pouring heavily outside and she had agreed quickly. Oh, how I wish she had refused to come over! Then she would have never been hit by that drunk a*****e of a driver, nearly half way to my house.
      I was devastated when I found out she was gone, that I would never be able to see my sweet Erika again. She had died in the ambulance from severe contusions and hemorrhaging to the brain, but she had severe spinal fractures, lacerations, and a few broken ribs. While the other driver, he had escape without any injuries unlike my Erika. Though, if it was any consolation to me, he had been sentenced to 14 years and a $23,000 fine under an Aggravated DUI, which is a class 2 felony. I wish he had died and my dear Eri had survived to return to me.
     I felt the tears run down my face in a never-ending river. I watched at they placed her chestnut brown coffin into the ground. Near me, her mother lamented about losing her only child and her last living relative. I bowed my head as I tried to stifle my own sobs and laments about losing my love. She was gone and never able to return to me alive.
     It felt like hours before the other mourners had finished recounting memories about Eri. From her dear mother, Mrs. Vladimir, to her best friend Alexander Michael. When it was my turn, I gave everyone the saddest smile they had ever seen on me. "Hello everyone. As you may remember, Erika was my girlfriend and was coming to visit me the day she died. I had asked her over because I had planned on asking her to be my wife, to stay with me for the rest of our lifetime together. I truly loved....no I still truly love her even though she is gone, I will always love my sweetie pie. I'll miss you, Erika Vladimir, and I'll love you forever. I hope we meet again one day and can finally be together again. Thank you," I said with tears rolling down my face faster and faster as I walked back to my spot next to her mother.
     They buried her soon after and the mourners gathered back at Mrs. Vladimir's home, but I stayed behind at Erika's grave. I knelt down at where her head would be and dug a small hole, dropping the ring box that held a beautiful 8 carat blue diamond on a 14 carat white gold band with the words, 'Together, always and forever.' into it and covered it back up.
     I stood up slowly as I looked at her gravestone, carving the words into my head and heart before I left. 'Love last through death and into the afterlife, so let it be known I will always be yours now and till the end of eternity.'
     Three days Valentina Deluna was found dead in her home. The coroner stated she died from strangulation caused by her hanging herself. The police reported that, in her suicide note she left behind, she said, 'I can't and will not live without you, so I will follow you into death, my love. I love you Erika. Amore, Valentina.'

Reviews

[Amaya Sullivan]

I really enjoyed reading your story. The story was very "telling" and this is something I am working on as well as a writer. Everything was just told to me. I did not feel like I should cry although it is sad, but I was not compelled to cry or shed a tear.

With that being said, I believe you should capture the heart of Valentina Deluna more. She is giving a eulogy at her girlfriend's funeral; I would suspect her voice faltering or pauses during the eulogy.

The story is told from the point of view of a lost loved one; however, there is no conflict or inner struggles or great sense of sadness which needs to be captured.

I am working on being more descriptive rather than telling as well. I hope it helps.

Keep writing.