Chapter 2: Confusion

I woke up with the early morning sun shining through my window, aiming its rays on my face. I rolled over and James wasn’t there. The bed was far from being full of warmth where his caring body should have been. It’s six A.M. on the dot, so I have plenty of time to get ready for school- that’s if I can find something I want to wear. I jumped out of bed with the excitement of seeing James and made my way to the bathroom down the hall. Like every other morning, I brushed my teeth for two to three minutes and used mouth wash afterwards and of course wash my beautiful face clean of gross oils. I ventured back to my room with a pep in my step and made my bed all nice and neat.

“To the closet I go!” I said out loud to myself. I walked over to the closet almost regretting wanting to look cute for James. But nevertheless I opened my closet door and peered in at my color and clothing organized racks. It is supposed to be in the low 70’s and sunny today, says the weather man, so I picked out my floral skirt and a cute matching top to go with it. I fixed my hair down straight and applied my very little amount of make up on. I’m just that good looking to where I don’t need a lot of make up, I always tell myself but I know the real answer is that I’m just too lazy to put a lot on and plus its horrible for your pores. By the time I was all done with my morning routine and had grabbed my school stuff and eaten a banana, James was just pulling up into the drive way, waiting for me to get my butt to get in his car.

At school, James didn’t want me to go to first period considering what had happened the day before. To me the incident was unreal- a dream. I was in complete and total shock still; I just couldn’t believe that anyone would want to hurt James or myself. How can someone even think of doing something like that? I suddenly remembered a strange dream I had as James was walking me to class. James and I were in a thick forest, about 40 feet up in an evergreen tree. I remember I was full of fear and James kept looking down at the ground franticly. Then a man’s voice came yelling out from below us, “come out here you blood sucking vampire so I can put an end to your misery and I promise your freak of a girlfriend will be spared.” You could hear his evil smile come through his words. I shrived from the creepiness of the dream.

“Are you cold, Lisa?” Asked James concerned and starting to pull off his leather jacket.

“No, I was actually remembering a creepy dream I had last night. It was different from all the other ones. It seemed sooo real, like I was really there. I could feel all my emotions perfectly, I could smell the sweat in the air and the trees all around us, and I could tell it was going to rain soon.”

Raising an eye brow, James led me over to a bench in the lobby and sat me down against my will. “How you had this dream before?” I was beginning to think that telling him about my dream was a mistake. I wasn’t in the mood to be questioned so early, so I started to get up and walk to class. He pulled me back down to the bench.

“No, I don’t believe I’ve ever had the dream before. Why does it matter?” I said with a little attitude in my voice.

“It doesn’t matter, but tell me about your dream, honey.” I sense he was lying to me. I was not pleased at all.

I didn’t want to tell him at all after what he was starting to pull with me, but the completely caring, concerned look in his eyes forced him to tell him everything about the dream, down to the very last detail. When I was done telling my story James looked at me like I was missing something huge or I was overlooking something big. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Who was the guy and who or what was he yelling it?”

“I don’t know. I never saw him, I only heard his voice. If I knew who he was I would have told you when I was telling you about my dream.”

“Well you must be able to recognize the voice.”

“Now that I think about it, the voice did sound strangely familiar.”

“Well, who’s voice was it then?” James voice had a sense of urgency in it.

I was getting quite annoyed again, “I. Don’t. Know. I’ll have to think about it.”

James entwined his fingers with mine and walked me slowly to class. He seemed really released when we walked into class and there was a substitute teacher sitting at Mr. Robinson’s desk. After the bell rang James rushed to class and I walked to my seat. Once class officially started, the substitute introduced himself as Mr. Mumble and then on a “fun, educational” movie. During the movie I completely passed out. I wasn’t even tired. The movie was just that boring. It had the annoying monotone voice and black and white picture that change only when the speaker moves onto a different topic.

When I woke up, the bell was ringing off in the background noise, notifying me it was time to get the hell out of here and go make out with James before our next class. For some odd reason I was in a hardcore making out mood and I didn’t care who saw us making out. James picked me up from class like he did every other day and he entangled his fingered with mine and we started walking. I just kept thinking of different ways to go about tell him I wanted to make out right now. He wasn’t big on making out in public. I was thinking about wrapping my arms around his neck and just start making out with him and then letting my hands go down below his waist or pushing him up against a locker and making out with him.

As I was getting ready to make my attack on his lips, Ashley Mitchell came walking right up to us; correction, came walking up to James. Ashley has this huge freaking crush on my boyfriend. I don’t know even remember how I came about finding that bit of info out especially since I’ve never had a conversation with her besides once in our 4^th grade class and I’ve never talked to any of her friends. Maybe it’s just a look she gets around James, but strangely enough I can swear that I actually heard her say it. I shrugged the thought away and said “Hey Ashley” to her to be nice and all. She finally pulled her bulging eyes off of James to look over at me for a fraction of a second like she just realize I was in the same universe as her. She managed to say rude “hi” to me and a flirty “Hi, James” to my boo.

“Hello Ashley” James said politely, because that’s who he is- Mr. Polite. Then s**t started to hit the fan. Ashley was breathing all heavy and just staring at James and she was starting to drool. Gross! And to make matters worse you could just tell she was thinking “Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God. I’m soo close to him and he’s talking to me!!!”

As they continued to have a small-talk conversation about the weather for the rest of the week, Ashley was leaning closer and closer with every word flying out of James’ mouth. She was leaning in so close that their bodies were almost touching. And to make matters worse, James didn’t even back up or push her away, he acted like he enjoyed it. James was staring at her neck like he just wanted to suck on it and every time she laughed at something completely unfunny- like how can the weather be funny?- he licked his lips. I could tell he was trying really hard not to do anything with her. Ashley then started to laugh hysterically at a weather joke I would have normally giggled it and put her palm on his chest. James started to slowly lean towards her neck then and I guess she noticed because she stopped laughing like a maniac and put on this excited, foolish looking smile. Boy, was I getting f*****g pissed! How can my own boyfriend be doing this to me?!!

I was pulled away from the drama in front me by the sudden rushing noise of wind and the gasps and screams from people in the hallway. It was quite a peculiar scene. Wind was rushing towards me from both ends of the hall; blowing off the papers and posters that littered the walls with mostly unimportant info. As it was coming closer, it seemed to be picking up more power; it was now knocking the art work of students off the walls. I was just staring in wonder at this phenomenon occurring in front of me. James, I took notice he was staring at me with some look of disbelief. Finally the wind hit us and was whirling around us with a violent feeling to it, but it didn’t feel like it was a threat to me.

I suddenly realized that I was very tired feeling like I had just ran a mile without slowing down or taking a water break. I was also feeling a little faint. I really wanted to make my way over to the bench a little ways down the hall, but the wind was still going around me and I felt like I couldn’t cross through it. I got even fainter and finally the wind came to a terrific halt. I regained some of my strength; thankfully, which meant I didn’t need to go home early again.

In Ashley’s dazed state of mind, James grabbed my hand and started pulling me down the hall. I asked him a few times ‘where are you taking me?’ but he never answered me. I tried to pull against him to get him to at least stop, but that idea didn’t work and had to be abandoned. Before I knew it I was standing the in boys bathroom. James had begun kicking in every one of the bathroom stalls, getting some of his anger out it seemed. Once he was satisfied that no one was in the bathroom, he went over to the door and locked us in.

“What the HELL was that out there?” He pointed at the bathroom door.

“What, the wind?” I asked questionly.

“No the huge dog that was running wildly through the hallway. Didn’t you see it?” Sarcasm running all through his words. “Yes the wind. That was the only thing extremely weird happening out there.”

I rolled my eyes at him, “I don’t need your sarcasm right now and it was just wind, we’re supposed to get storms tonight.”

“Wind does not act like that, especially in a building!”

I shrugged at him, he did have a point wind doesn’t act like that. I couldn’t think of anything to say so I asked, “Why are you yelling at me?” because he really had no right to and he never yelled at me before. It was a scary side of him I never saw before.

James was obviously not listening to me. He seemed to be going into his own little world. “You really have no idea, do you?” He was looking at me like I’m stupid and can’t see the obvious.

“Know what? That Ashley completely digs you and was practically crawling all over you and you didn’t do anything about it!” I was getting angry recalling the incident.

In my anger I hardly noticed the sink next to me turn on. I didn’t think much of it because the plumbing in the school wasn’t the greatest. I looked up at James and he was looking at the sink in shock; his eyes wide and jaw to the floor.

“Would you relax, you know the plumbing in this s**t hole sucks.” I was getting annoyed with his stupidity He was probably thinking it was a ghost and that the school was haunted. I rolled my eyes at that thought and don’t him to relax again. I could tell he was beginning to drift back off to his little world, so I decided to interrupt it with, “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes I’m feeling completely fine, thank you for caring.” He said absently. “I’m just a little angry that you can’t control yourself; that you can’t tell what you’re doing. How can you not feel it? I don’t know how all this works. I’m learning all about this too. And I’m so stressed with all this responsibility, but we’ll get through this together, don’t worry.” He was beginning to go off on a tangent.

I just leaned up against the wall because I was still feeling a little weak and I just stared at James with a raised eyebrow, thinking he having a mental breakdown. I didn’t want to comment on what he was saying because I really had no clue what he talking about. He probably just didn’t get enough sleep the night before and ended up falling asleep with Star Wars or Startek on that usually comes on at two A.M. It was quite for a long while, James was pacing back and forth, thinking to himself, shaking his head at ideas and thoughts he didn’t like. Finally he stopped and stared at me, gathering his thoughts, readying to talk.

“Alright, this weekend we are going to have a long, serious talk. It’s going to be hard for you to understand at first, but you’ll come around to the ideas, I promise. You’ll get it; it’ll make sense to you. And trust me this will be better for us. We’ll be even closer.” He sounded like he was trying to reassure me, but I think he was really reassuring himself.

I can’t believe that was all he said after all that pacing and thinking. I opened my mouth to ask what exactly he was talking about, but he shook his head and said “don’t ask any questions,” before I could even get a single word out. Just then the bell rang. “I’m sorry I made you late, but this was really important even thought it really doesn’t seem that way.” He walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead and grabbed a hold of my hand, “Come on, let’s go to class.”

Reviews

[Mary Evans]

Pretty much the same issues I mentioned for chapter one.
Else:
“I’m just that good looking to where I don’t need a lot of make up,” if you wish to use that particular phrase as a description make sure you wish your character to seem a bit arrogant a bit full of herself and rather overconfident. (also keep to the same tense.)
“At school, James didn’t want me to go to first period considering what had happened the day before” why drive her to school if he doesn’t want her to go. If that’s Robinson’s class specify.
“How you had” – have you had.
I noticed this in the previous chapter as well: “I started to get up and walk to class.”
“Started to” marks a continuous action, it’s the same as saying “she was starting to.” But she can’t be getting up and walking to class literally at the same time as your sentence suggests. The two actions must come one after the other. (Now, I know that’s not what you meant but it is how it sounds like.) For further references on the topic read about gerund vs. infinitive (http://www.englisch-hilfen.de/en/grammar/gerund_infinitive.htm)
“I didn’t want to tell him at all after what he was starting to pull with me” Again, you should learn how to use progressive tenses better.

I know you are trying to show how close they are but it’s not coming through. The way they talk and interact there’s just something inherently forced and artificial, it’s not like two people who knew each other for like forever. I think that’s more because of the dialogues rather than the descriptions, so you should work on it some more, make it more natural.

Are you trying to make the reader like your character? Because when describing the Ashley scene Lisa comes across as a jealous little brat which is not really easy to sympathise with. Is she that insecure? Why does she care some girl has a crush on her boyfriend? Why does she have such an obsession with that girl she hardly ever spoke with or noticed before, judging by her monologue?
“her neck like he just wanted to suck on it” too direct, foreshadowing is good until you overdo it, then it’s just boringly obvious. Be more subtle.
Also if Ashley is to act like that and show off her attraction to Lisa’s boyfriend she will surely give her mocking or provocative glances rather than ignore her completely. There must be a reason for her actions, if I don’t see one they just seem artificial.
By the way James speaks to Lisa is like he thinks she knows of her powers. I’m not sure yet if you are going for something like that, just saying how it sounds like.

It all seems like really you intended to present some really exiting action and intentions between character, but I’m sorry to say it’s a mess in execution. You have to work on your plot, develop your characters, write down a plan even. Think about your story and its progression. If this is intended to be some first test draft its ok I suppose, but as an actual chapter it just doesn’t cut it. If you have any specific questions or seek advice feel free to ask me, but you have a lot of work to do before this becomes an actual chapter of a coherent story.