Chapter One (LATEST)

Chapter One

 

“Where are we headed now?” I turn and look out the window.

It’s dark and we’re on the highway. That’s about all I know. We’ve been driving all day and I’ve been asleep since we pulled out of our driveway, well what used to be our driveway anyways.

“We’re going somewhere.” My brother says to me before returning to singing one of the songs playing from his IPod.

“That’s really helpful.” I roll my eyes.

I hate no knowing where were going, Kent doesn’t even know where we’re going. He does this every time we flee a state. He drives until he thinks we’re safe…which means, we could drive until we reach Alaska if he thought that was the safest place to go.

I lay my head on the passenger side window and look out at the tall trees the shadows of the night covering their trunks and turning their once lush green leaves dark and dreary. Clearly, we’re someplace with a lot of woods. I hate running. It’s all we’ve done since we escaped from that laboratory back in Nevada. I met Kent when I was five. We were cell mates and we grew to be brothers. He’s two years older than I am and he’s taken care of me since we met. Kent and I are different from others; he and I can do certain things, extraordinary things. We were born with these gifts, we were born Novareans from the planet Nova. Years ago our planet, along with our people suffered from an illness that nearly depleted our entire race and destroyed our planet.

I can’t remember anything of our planet because I was just a baby, but I can remember a life with my mother and father on earth. It was short-lived but I can distinctly remember the small things like the smell of my mother’s hair or the look on my father’s face when I was taken from them. I remember playing in the living room while my mother was cooking when the front door to our house was kicked in. Tall men with guns poured into our home and grabbed me. I tried to fight them off but it was no use, I was so small and helpless and my powers had not yet developed. I remember my mother shielding me with herself, while my father fought the goons off, but the men had these guns, and whatever kind of guns they were, were deadly to Novareans.

I remember being blinded by a bright light and watching my father’s lifeless body fall to the ground before my mother, who was just as powerless as me was pushed aside. I kicked, punched and tried to bite my way out of their grips but it was no use; they threw me into the back of a van where there was some kind of gas released in the van. The next thing I knew I was waking up next to Kent inside a padded white room.  Kent told me that these people, whoever they were, were hunting down the remaining Novareans and performing experiments on us, well the ones who had The Blessing.

The Blessing, to our people is a sacred gift. Between the ages of five and ten a Novarean can receive The Blessing, which gives the Novarean a special ability. Only those who are strong willed can receive The Blessing. If you have The Blessing you trained to become warriors and fighters of our kind but when the illness struck, even those with The Blessing weren’t strong enough to survive. Kent says the disease died with our planet, but without our planet and its life force, no other Novarean could receive The Blessing…so I was doomed. These men didn’t keep Novareans who didn’t have The Blessing; they didn’t have any use of us.

 I didn’t know what to do and I was scared, and I wanted my mother, why did they take me if I didn’t have The Blessing? I remember curling up in a ball, the tears pouring out of my eyes, dreading what would happen to me when they realized I didn’t have The Blessing, and that’s when Kent started to sing. I look over to Kent and smile, his singing has always soothed me; every time the men in white would run tests on me and poke at me before throwing me back in the cell exhausted and weak, Kent would sing me to sleep. I look down at the scars on my arms, the scars that will never heal. He truly has a gift, that voice of his. I feel his hand on my shoulder and I turn to look at him smiling at me.

“I can tell you this Nick. Where we’re going we won’t have to go to high school anymore.”

“Oh thank god!” I sigh loudly. “I am so tired of school…besides I’m sure I should have graduated a year ago.” I laugh.

“Who needs a piece of paper to say you graduated when I can just print one for you?” Kent laughs.

Kent and I spent several years in the governments grip, miraculously days after I was taken I received The Blessing. I remember the guards pouring into my room and yanking me from Kent’s arms, that was it, they were going to kill me, and then it happened. I felt a tingling in my body and suddenly the guards were all on the ground shaking violently. Kent rushed over to me and the moment he touched me he was blown across the room. At the age of five I produced as much electricity from my body to power all the marquees in New York City. I was thankful that I wasn’t going to die but that’s when the experiments started and they always got worse, never better.

When I was seven Kent developed a new power in addition to his telekinesis, he developed the ability to communicate with technology, the power we used to escape from the facility years late when I was ten and he was twelve. They never saw it coming, of course Kent kept his new power hidden as he mastered it over the years and for the first time in years I felt the warmth of the sun on my face. Since then we’ve been on the run, never staying in one place for too long and changing our identities whenever we relocated. I’m eighteen now and I’m getting tired of the running and constant changing.  

“We just need to kind of need to make a little withdrawal from a bank first.” Kent adds. 

I look at him and groan. I hate stealing but it’s the only way we can make it. Usually Kent just creates bank accounts for us and adds funds but I guess since we moved so quickly he didn’t have chance to. He turns off of the highway and we stop at a local bank in a small town.

I check the time on the radio and I see it’s midnight. Kent pulls around the side of the bank and grabs a duffle bag from the back seat. He turns to me and I unbuckle my seatbelt. I know the plan it’s always the same plan - get in and get out.

“How much?” I say stiffly.

“Fifty grand.”

“Fifty grand?” I nearly yell, “Why so much?”

“Trust me. We’ll need it where we’re going.” He smiles. “Now I’ll disable everything and give you the signal to go in. Find the vault quickly and get in and get out. You’ll have three minutes before the backup generators come back on.”

“I know Kent. In and out.”

I get out of the car and walk to the side of the building and I hear the car horn beep once " the signal. I open the door which was unlocked by Kent and I walk in and look around. I have no idea where the hell this vault would be. I look at my watch and see I have about two minutes and thirty seconds left. I walk around before jumping behind the counter to look around - two minutes, ten seconds. Finally my eyes fall on a large silver door.

“Uh duh Nicolas.” I say to myself before I dart across the room and blast the lock open with an electric current from my fingertips.

I push myself against the wall of the vault and scope out the room first before moving to the opposite side of where Kent has the camera pointing and begin opening drawers and throwing bundles of money into the bag " counting as I toss the bundles into the bag. I have a minute to get the money and then get out; I check my watch and I have thirty seconds left until he loses control of the cameras and I don’t even have thirty grand yet.

I begin tossing more and more into the bag, no longer counting and I check my watch, five seconds. I close the drawers and heave the bag over my shoulder before pushing myself up against the wall once more. I watch the camera, no longer in Kent’s control, inch closer to me. S**t this was a simple get in and get out. I take a deep breath and the second the camera reaches me, I shield my face and blast it with a strong enough current to fry it completely. I rush to the vault door and dash out, jumping over the counters and then I see something out the corner of my eye " there through the opposite window; a black figure with long hair. I turn around and the suddenly the figure runs off.

“S**t just my luck.” I say under my breath before rushing out of the bank just in time, the alarm goes off and I hop into the car. Kent looks at me and smiles. I toss the bag into the backseat of the car and he pulls off as quickly as possible.

“Did you get all of it?” he asks.

“I don’t know. I was running out of time.” I say while fastening my seatbelt.

“You’re getting lazy bro bro.” he laughs.

“Oh shut up.” I say before laying my head on the window once again and slowly falling asleep.

I dream of my mother and father. I can barely remember what my father looks like but my mother’s face is vivid. Her smooth caramel skin and dark hazel eyes along with her long flowing black hair invades my memory. I’m back in the living room playing with my toys…without a care in the world when the door is kicked in and the men in suits rush in. Every detail from the smell of the room I was contained to for five years to the feeling of being injected over and over by needles is so surreal.

I open my eyes and I see we’re parked outside a large building with dozens of kids our age roaming around, carrying boxes and laughing loudly. I look out the window look around at the tall building and the one across from it. I have no idea where we are. I step out of the car and shield my eyes from the sun. I look around for Kent but I don’t see him anywhere. I stretch and yawn loudly. My a*s is sore from sitting the entire way to wherever the hell we are. I look around to see tons of rolling lush green hills and behind this building that everyone seems to be moving into stands a huge mountain.

“Where the hell am I?” I mumble to myself as laughing girls and guys in basketball shorts walk back me. Looks, like something out of a bad teen movie.

“You must be Nicolas!” a bright blonde hair woman jumps in front of me. I jump and tell myself not to attack, cause I definitely was about to fry her and her blonde locks. She laughs and grabs ahold of my arm. “Kent has told me all about you.”

“You’ve seen my brother?” I ask as she escorts me past a group giggling girls and through the building.

“Yeah, of course. I know you guys had to have a long drive and I’m sorry I’ve kept him from you for this long but you know being an RA and all he has to work today.” She laughs.

“RA?”

“Yes, Resident Assistant.” She smiles before pressing a button on the elevator.

“Where are we?” I ask while looking around at the flyers posted around the hallway, “Welcome Bonfire Tonight!” some read, and “Movie Night Tomorrow!” among constant others.

“You must still be sleep. You’re at college!” she laughs loudly before flipping her hair unnecessarily. I’ve only seen girls like her on television and I know whoever she is I don’t like her already. She’s too happy for her own good.

“Kent’s upstairs on the third floor checking in. You’ll be rooming with him so I gave him your keys already. Go get moved in you wouldn’t want to miss the Bonfire tonight! She says before shoving me into the open elevator doors and bouncing off down the hall.

I’m joined with an older couple and a young boy who can’t seem to stop trying to press the red alarm button. They have large suitcases and bags and the old man smells like moth balls. They press the second floor button and the elevator makes a loud creaking noise before taking off, thank god there are only three floors.

I press the third floor button and the moment the doors open on the second floor the family evacuates the elevator and I can finally breathe. When the doors open on the third floor I see Kent standing in front of the elevator smiling. He’s wearing a navy blue shirt that says, “Laker College Residential Life Staff.” So at least I know we’re at Laker College when I’ve barely had a high school career.

Great.

“Don’t look like that.” He says while pulling me into a huge hug. “I did this so we could seem a little normal.”

“Yeah we’re anything but.” I laugh. “College?”

“Yeah…where else can a bunch of different people come together and be normal.”

“Well, I’m sure these people aren’t aliens from another planet.” I say before he pushes open the door to one of the apartment suites.

It’s nicer in here than I thought. It has a full kitchen and a nice sized living room. It’s not bigger than what I’m used to living in. I’m usually in a huge house in a secluded, gated neighborhood and there are four bedrooms " I have never lived with anyone other than Kent before.

“Now, I know what you’re thinking but I made sure the people rooming with us aren’t freaks.” He says before flopping down on the old and worn green couch and sitting his feet up on the coffee table.

I laugh. “You made sure they weren’t freaks. What are we considered then Kent?”

“Advanced freaks.” He smiles.

A phone rings and Kent digs out a black flip phone from his pocket, “Your keys are on the counter.” Kent he says before walking towards the door and answering the phone, “Laker College RA phone this is Kent, how can I help you?”

Kent leaves out of the room and I grab the small packet of keys from the counter and open it. Inside are two keys and a small white square card. I place all of them in my pocket and leave out of the apartment. Room 302. I walk down the stairs after seeing dozens of people crowding onto the elevator and walk to the second floor to the lounge where a few guys are playing pool.

“Hey!” one of them calls out to me. “Wanna play?”

I’m hesitant at first, but I can see that Kent is going to be busy with his new job so I decide I need to start making some new friends. I join the guys by the pool table and one of them hands me a pool stick and the moment it’s in my hand I realize I have no idea how to play pool.

I’ve only seen it played on television, and of all the games we’ve owned since we’ve been on the run you’d think we would have thought to have a pool table. I watch as one of the guys racks the balls up and he looks up and smiles at me. I see his skin is pale and his eyes are a deep blue or green…maybe both. I can’t tell. But I do know this. He’s cute. 

Reviews

[Kianna]

Dear Nigel Barnes,

The paragraph "Kent and I spent several years.... I’m eighteen now and I’m getting tired of the running and constant changing," needs to be revised. There are so many long sentences kind of scrunched up together and there are a lot of run on sentences for example, "When I was seven Kent developed a new power in addition to his telekinesis, he developed the ability to communicate with technology, the power we used to escape from the facility years late when I was ten and he was twelve," and "They never saw it coming, of course Kent kept his new power hidden as he mastered it over the years and for the first time in years I felt the warmth of the sun on my face"

Okay what you have done is info dumped the reader with back story. While the information does clarify things than from the unedited chapter, it really sets a fast pace for your novel. Now, if that's what you want, it is fine, but keep in mind, giving away all that back story cuts down on the flesh of your novel. Back story is given over time and in more subtle ways.

However, I now have a better understanding of these two characters and answers the question why are they really running. Also, the description of the setting has indeed gotten better so good job on that. Imagery is what makes the reader be able to see your characters and relate with them.

Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,

God bless