Facebook....

Facebook....

A Story by Nicky Sarti

The world’s biggest legal crack and w***e den! You might laugh, but only because it is true! Yes, you might think I tell you this in jest; but allow me to explain if you will.

 

I never wanted to use Facebook, it never interested me. I had real live friends, I could text them if I wished; even meet them should I feel so inclined. I had pc games, none of which cost me a dime!

 

I knew where my friends were and what they were doing, because I was normally with them. If I wanted to talk to my folks, I would go downstairs. I did not need to connect with friends from school, they never wanted to stay in touch anyways ~ that or they were bullies.

 

If I had wanted to raise animals I would get a pet, if I want grow crops I would become a farmer. If I wanted to own a city, I would become a multimillionaire... what? Wait, I do want to become one of them! All these games do for you is make you become obsessive, you have to play them or the animal will die and your crops will wither up and die too... what the heck am I talking about, they are not real anyways!

 

And then there are those apps that can only be described as crap... those that tell your fortune, or what your name means. Which are only generically generated anyway! The ones that can tell you what colour you are just by answering a few questions, or whom you will marry; or when you will have a baby... always wondered what answer they would give if a man took it.

 

What is with all that stuff, I mean really? Some people must seriously have nothing better to do... and yes I am including myself in that statement. And this goes back to my earlier point, Facebook is my pimp! And it is yours and most of your friends’ too. Unless, of course, you are one of the smart ones who steers clear of it. But trust me, if you are not careful it will get you... Facebook has sucked me in and I cannot get out again; send help if you can!

 

And do you know what makes all this worse? “THEY” have created this legal den of vice and we are all powerless to stop it, if we do not get our daily (sometimes hourly) fix of Facebook, then our day is ruined. Like I said, I did not want Facebook, but now I cannot live without it. I have to tend to my farm(s) and city(s) and checkout what Granma Suzy says will happen to me, I have to make sure my crops do not die and my animals are fed... I mean only just recently I went away for the weekend and thought I had killed Pinggy the Penguin... (And talking of killing off animals ~ can we take a moment for my ex pet on spp ranch? Thank you kindly)

 

And if that was not bad enough, “THEY” then go and decide to change everything around... they say it is to “fix the technical problems” but I know the truth, it is just to pee me off. They move the chat bar, then the notifications and then the notes... they even moved the flipping inbox ~ I mean, the inbox for pity’s sake! My friend had to post a status asking someone to e-mail just so she could find it, and I will not even begin to tell you what I had to go through just to stalk that guy I fancy!

 

I am like many people on there, I fear change; it scares me... and you should not scare me ~ I poop easily! What is wrong with leaving things as they are and just fixing the bugs? It is like supermarkets isn't it? They change things around every six months in the hope we will buy more stuff, I just end up getting annoyed; walking out and buying my stuff online! We like our same routines and what have you... it is comforting to us! Like a pair of comfy pj's or an old tee shirt full of holes; it is our "blankiee" and we like it "just as it is" thank you very much!

 

So here I sit waiting to harvest my crops, animals and houses. I am waiting on my city to grow, waiting for my zombies to get hungry for brains; and my zoo to expand. I am waiting for my friends to come “online” and for Granma Suzy to tell me what I should do today, all the while stalking (sorry, checking up on) that guy I fancy! Maybe I should just switch off my pc and go meet my friend for coffee in the real world... but I will just check on my farm first though!

© 2012 Nicky Sarti


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Featured Review

OMG!!! that is so hilarious,, and so damned true!! i spend wayyyy too much time on fb myself. but i only play scrabble and songpop...none of the other stuff,,,,although my friends beg me too do castleville, sims, farmville, etc,ville. your write is just so right on...and sorry i can't save you, cuz i am lost there too.. i loved this write..

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nicky Sarti

12 Years Ago

Thanks hunny, it was one of my better pieces I must admit.



Reviews

Nicky, I love this one, its funny. You should try more like this, I love the bits about checking your farm (glad I never got into that) You should include references to the beautiful pictures that you post. :-p

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nicky Sarti

11 Years Ago

Thanks hunny.
I shall try, but I need to be in the mood to be funny!
OMG!!! that is so hilarious,, and so damned true!! i spend wayyyy too much time on fb myself. but i only play scrabble and songpop...none of the other stuff,,,,although my friends beg me too do castleville, sims, farmville, etc,ville. your write is just so right on...and sorry i can't save you, cuz i am lost there too.. i loved this write..

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nicky Sarti

12 Years Ago

Thanks hunny, it was one of my better pieces I must admit.

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Added on October 4, 2012
Last Updated on October 4, 2012

Author

Nicky Sarti
Nicky Sarti

Northampton, Northamptonshire, United Kingdom



About
ZOMGosh... How long has it been since I posted on here?!? What am I like? I am so sorry guys! So... I am still here (just about) I am still trying to keep my hand in when it comes to writing etc. .. more..

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