Untitled Rage. Caged Fury. Painful Hurt.

The one that kicked it all off again. My first real proper piece of writing for around 15 years. Hopefully not my last.

I am hurt.

I am angry.

I am lost and I am lonely.

I want help finding my way.

Need help finding my way!

 

Here I sit this nice, kind, caring person.

With heart of gold and friendly nature.

I give all to everyone, and rarely get anything back.

But still I don't mind, still I give all that I have.

No ulterior motives, no underlying reasons.

Just because...

 

But now the hurt and pain are rife.

Now my heart is dying inside.

I am filled with a rage and anger I have never felt before.

Ready to explode with a violent fury.

The likes of which I have never seen or felt before.

How did this happen and when did it change?

Is this really me and how my life has changed?

 

I feel wounded now and want to cry.

I long for the time when my tears no longer fall.

I long for the day when I don’t wake up wishing I were dead.

Oh how I long for that day; and the day when I don’t have to fight.

My emotions are no longer my own.

Were they ever mine in the first place?

 

One moment I can be up; happy and glad.

The next I am down; angry and sad.

Will I ever be free, will the pain ever stop?

How can I fix these feelings inside of me?

Will it really take my death for them to see;

That all I ever need to be was me?

Author's Note

Wrote this a few years after the "dark time" in my life.
It is emotional for me to read, so I might have a few mistakes etc in it.
Also, one of my most personal ones too.