A Recipe on the Past

 

Just mix a pinch of guilt,

Add a dosage of uncomfortable juice,

And maybe add a tablespoon of weirdness!

Then you’d get the heaviness that I’m feeling

From this toxic drink you just gave to me;

So make this feeling go away,

I hate how this is turning out anyways!

Author's Note

Yeah, this came to me as I'm talking to one of my friends online...she was telling me about her day at school and how some guy was flirting with her, which made me remind myself of last year...which some guy had hit on me and asked me out (yeah, I'm not telling the whole story because then I'd feel awkward about it...that's all I'm telling you!!!) I started feeling just....weird. That's why the title is the title. O.o" Lol. And I feel I made this too short and a bit corny sounding...but...its' ok..I guess.

Reviews

[Larissa G.]

The last two lines seem out of place, simply because the first bit is so inventive and striking to me.
I suppose if possible, make the last two lines a bit more fancy to continue the flow of the poem?
I simply adored the recipe part. It sounded like me. ^.^

[Brianna Brie]

Well, I am always impressed when someone is able to write a short piece and still get there point across. The metaphor is really good. Thanks for sharing with us.

[Annalisa]

...i dunno, i like the fact that it is as short as it is. If it were any longer I think it would feel forced, and I didn't get corny from it... I like the idea of there being a recipe for the weirdness of our pasts. This was nice, short, simple and sweet. All very good things.

There was one line that was slightly awkward though. "Add a dosage of an uncomfortable juice,"... what would you think about getting rid of that "an"... it's just slightly awkward.

But good work! ^^

[shadadakiya]

i like it im sure some day you will feel lead to add more good work