Watching you flash before my eyes,
I wish that I could have saved you
From the chains you were bond to,
Wondering what else I could have done
To save a life this world of confusion and tears.
I knew that it wasn’t at the right time;
Coming in when a glass broke from the outside,
The commotion boomed and boomed until
I came in with a curious daze upon my face,
Seeing that it was only what fate didn’t intend.
Now that this hopeless heart is filled
With what it shouldn’t have been,
I think that the next time I trust
Another with a heart of mine,
I’ll keep out on my guard and hope
That there isn’t a twisted fate
At the end of my rope.
You tried so hard it wasn't meant
Oh how I wish So many nights weren't spent
Crying tears for things you cannot change
I know you want to go back and rearrange
all those events that stole your soul
Make them come out right and leave you whole
Sometimes fate can be so twisted
But I have back with a message please listen
I have watch your tears and all your sorrow
Your trepidation at facing a new tomorrow
But things cannot remain this way
You did what you could when my life was a stake
Nothing more could I ask of you
What you did was what you could do
And though what you wanted was not meant to be
Fret no more that you couldn't save me
I have no hate I hold no grudge
When I enter that land above
It will be with pride for my saving grace
Who showed the more beautiful side of the worlds face....
I'm in blue and Frances L. Phillips. is in the lavender color. The part I wrote just came to me when I listening to a few songs....
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What'd you think? This was my collaboration with anybody! Thanks for collaborating with me, Frances. :]
My Review
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aww this worked out really well! i haven't done any collaborations yet... but it's definitely something i would consider, if i found someone i could work with... like you have here.
'I know you want to go back and rearrange
all those events that stole your soul "
those were fantastic lines.
but the call and response flowed very well, and had similar feels, but just enough so
nice job!!
"From the chains you were bond to,"...I think you meant "bound" to?
The whole poem was excellent but I think the part in purple was so much more passionate, your words flow more naturally and I get the feeling that you are pouring your heart onto the page, which is what writing is supposed to be.
i know how music can effect a writers mind, i have done it many times, great use of vocabulary and word usage. the emotions pour from this like water cascading down a clift, it is beautiful but also heart breaking. well done!
aww this worked out really well! i haven't done any collaborations yet... but it's definitely something i would consider, if i found someone i could work with... like you have here.
'I know you want to go back and rearrange
all those events that stole your soul "
those were fantastic lines.
but the call and response flowed very well, and had similar feels, but just enough so
nice job!!
I usually write poetry and short stories, yet I always come up with good ideas for novels. I did have a long biography on here,but when Charlie deleted everybody's work off of here on Friday the 13th,.. more..