Prologue

A World of Dreams (1,000 Years Ago)

A wailing of a baby hung in the dimness of the room, the noise echoing off the Victorian walls. The babies’ fair skin was tinted with red, the newborn’s eyes closed tight from the light of the candle burning down to the wick. Besides the glowing candle was a woman with huge pearls of sweat down her white silk skin and on her midnight black hair, her violet-blue eyes weary from giving birth for the first time in her life. “Ma’am, it’s a baby girl! ,’  the nurse said excitedly, proudly setting the baby into the crook of the newly mother’s arm. The women in the bed smiled weakly, her canine teeth going over her red rosy lips as she held her daughter close to her chest. “She’s beautiful, Valerie…just beautiful. ,” a deep voice vibrated, belonging to a man of tall proportion. His jet-black hair was against his forehead, putting an arm on his wife’s shoulder’s as he pecked her on the cheek. “She looks just like you, Michael,” Valerie said soothingly, her fingers lacing around the head of the baby. “What should we call her?” The question made Michael ponder for a few minutes, observing the room as he thought in place. “….Margaret…after my great grandmother..and her middle name should be Alexandria. What do you think?” Valerie twisted her lips with uncertainty. “How about Elizabeth for the middle name? That’s a lovely name too….” A small sigh came out of Michael, knowing that he would never win the small fight with his life if he wanted to. “That’s fine with me…Margaret Elizabeth McCray...,” Michael grinned, his forehead against Valerie’s small shoulders with his forest green eyes on his family. The nurse at the end of the bed heard him utter the name, searching for a logging book to write the name down so she could make the birth certificate during the afternoon the next day.

Rushing towards the cabinet to grab an eagle feathered pen, an uneasy feeling appeared inside the room, spreading to the corners of the room. Valerie clutched Margaret closer and closer to her, having a gut feeling that she knew what was going to happen any second before the console of Avian busted inside the birthing room, hearing the door fidgeting before it was actually opened. Two guards robed in red and black went to the opposite sides of the door and each other, the both of them being twins that were enlisted into the guard service a while back ago to protect and help out the McCray’s while Michael was healing from a broken arm. The third man that entered in was a man around in his early thirties, his hair being a dark red. He tugged his black coat against himself a bit, his brown eyes shifting around the room. His name was Lucas McCray, a relative of Michael’s that was a closer family friend than anybody else, being on the console for his strength and mind. “Michael, Valerie! You guys have to get out here quickly. They’re coming…,” Lucas breathed in, whispering ‘hurry up’ as he helped Valerie getting out of bed. None of them said a word as Michael grabbed an old, tattered up leather book from the desk table, the book in need of slight repairs. “Hurry up!,” Lucas hissed, waving everybody to the upstairs of the Victorian styled manor.

Running up the stairs with all the energy she had, Valerie gripped the railing with Margaret in her left arm. She didn’t know why she didn’t give just give the baby to Elise, the nurse that had helped her out with the process of giving a life. Turning her head towards her right arm, Valerie hoped that her baby girl wasn’t awake, taking swift glances over at her while trotting up the spiraled stairs. Michael was a few stairs behind her, coming up quickly behind her for support. “Everything’s going to be alright, Val, everything’s going to be alright…” The word comforted Valerie a little bit, yet was mostly scared of what was out there, their name being a forbidden fruit to most of everybody in Avian. Even the creatures never uttered the name, for they feared that it would bring them misfortune if they did. Shaking her head at the mere thought of the monsters, an ivory door had been left open for just the three of them, Valerie reaching out to Michael’s hand to lure him inside while closing the door with quickness. “Michael, what’s going on here?,” Valerie rasped, trying to gather her courage up that she had left behind while going up the stairs. Her husband lowered his head, his eyes glued to the floor. The piece of information he was about to give out wasn’t too great, which Valerie knew right away just from the little ‘quirks’ that he did whenever there was really bad news. Taking a deep breath, Michael finally spoke. “Lucas told me that Elise was one of them…she was undercover for them to get some information, but I’m not sure what kind.” Valerie bit her lower lip with concern. “Do you think it was because of the old legacy about a newborn child being born on the same day as ‘The Key’ was, being if that was true, then the child was the reincarnation?,” Valerie questioned, hearing Margaret’s breathing by her ear. “You know I don’t believe in that s**t, Val. It’s hocus pocus to me.” Michael muttered, feeling Valerie’s presence by his arm. “But if you did, wouldn’t you think it’s how that is?” Michael shrugged. “If I believed it, sure. But no, that couldn’t be it...”   

Rolling her eyes at him, Valerie heard a banging on the door. “Stay where you are and don’t move!,” Michael snapped to his wife, inching towards the door with immediate caution. His large hand reached out to touch the bronze door knob, stopping an inch from the nose of it. A heavy scent of spiced cologne hit his nostrils, making him back up with a headache as he opened the door. “I hate that smell…,” Michael growled, letting Lucas in before anything else could venture inside the darkened room. Ignoring the comment that his cousin had just made, Lucas slowly turned to Michael. “You have to get your daughter out of here and to safety. They won’t hurt you if you don’t have Margaret here.” “What do you mean, Lucas?,” Michael snarled, Lucas just towering over him by five inches. “Your daughter is the one; The Key, Michael….I know you don’t believe in that, but it’s the truth. I can feel it inside of her.” Lucas stared hard at the sleeping baby in Valerie’s twig arms, having a stirring feeling in his heart. “She’ll be safe somewhere else; far away from here. They’ll only kill her when she’s young because they don’t want Avian to be saved when she gets older…. You guys are going to have to use the door to that other world. ,” Lucas informed them, his fingers running through his dark, apple colored hair. The decision posed was a hard decision for the young couple, knowing that they’d never witness their own child growing up. But they knew they were doing it to save each other and their daughter’s life, thinking that with one slim chance, Margaret would stumble upon the door to Avian, and find out who she really was.

Nodding to each other, Michael loomed over his beautiful daughter and wife as Lucas put a chained necklace with a heart shaped locket around Margaret’s neck, having four individual keys leaning against the spiraled design of the locket. “This will help you when you come back… ,” Lucas whispered to Margaret, seeing her go bubbly over the fact that she had something around her neck to possibly chew on. Watching her eyes finally open at the object around her neck, Valerie admired the color on Margaret, being the same violet-blue color that she had. Blinking twice with amazement, Valerie heard the old leather book opening with a small thud. She gave Margaret to Lucas, the tears rolling down the vampires’ porcelain face as she steadily walked over to flip open to the first empty page. A sharp knife was lying next to the book, Michael picking it up to prick Valerie’s pointer finger, wincing a bit at the pain. A small blob of formed on the tip of her finger, smearing a small dot of crimson blood onto the middle of the page as a white flash shined into the room, showing the wonders yet to come in the next 1,000 years.

Author's Note

So..did you like it so far? :D I'm just going to point out that the ending sentence means that it'll be a thousand years later (in Avian) when Margaret (aka Harriet...the only reason I said something is because I said it for what the book was going to be about.) goes back. And I'm sorry if I repeated a few words, I'm trying not to...anywho, I hoped you liked this so far (I'm crossing my fingers in hopes of my Creative Writings teacher liking this prologue as well... XD )

Reviews

[Damon Ross Cottrell]

I really enjoyed this prologue. I'm sure it introduces a wonderful story. There are so many possibilities you introduce in this work. It's a great way to start a story. Your vivid imagery shows great potential.

Grammar and Style:

His jet-black hair was against his forehead, putting an arm on his wife's shoulder's as he pecked her on the cheek. -- This sentence and a few like it just don't work. His forehead is not putting his arms around his wife's shoulders!

Rushing towards the cabinet to grab an eagle feathered pen, an uneasy feeling appeared inside the room, spreading to the corners of the room.-- The clause lacks an antecedant. Who is rushing?

Valerie clutched Margaret closer and closer to her, having a gut feeling that she knew what was going to happen any second before the console of Avian busted inside the birthing room, hearing the door fidgeting before it was actually opened.

Let's try: "As she hear the door fidgeting, Valarie clutched Margaret closer and closer to her, having the gut feeling the console of Avain would burst into the room. (could console mean council or counsel?)

Lucas breathed in, whispering 'hurry up' as he helped Valerie getting [get] out of bed. None of them said a word as Michael grabbed (an old, tattered up leather book from the desk table, the book in need of slight repairs.) redundant.

Please quit throwing seeming random physical descriptions in with the action. You start getting the right idea of how to do this properly about halfway through the story.

The vampires' porcelain face-- vampire's

A small blob of formed on the tip of her finger, smearing a small dot of crimson blood onto the middle of the page as a white flash shined into the room, showing the wonders yet to come in the next 1,000 years.

Here's how I would do it: A small drop of blood formed on the tip of her finger. While she spread the dot of crimson on the middle of the page, a white flash filled the room-- showing the wonders of the coming thousand years.

[Lauren Xena Campbell]

What an interesting prologue. I certainly want to read more! To think that this new born is to be hunted with the penalty of death and the anvil of world destruction on her shoulders just makes for a damn exciting plot line. And the vampire bit at the end just added a whole new level for me. This really is a superb begining and I think it has the makings for a brilliance novel!

[Taylor H]

"blob of formed on the tip of her finger" forgot the word blood

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

This prologue is great and very fascinating. I'm really enjoying this so far and can't wait to continue. Wonderful job!!!

Heather

[Vannah]

i loved it so far I can't wait to see what happens next....

[NCPanthersgurl]

Great description, definatley kept me interested. I'll have to read the rest when I get a chance!

Great job!

[Brenda Sue]

A very enjoyable read with so many questions unanswered, just what a prologue should do. Can't wait to read more. Wonderfully penned. Hope you teacher gave you a good grade.

wow, well done! :) I love other wordly stories :) I do follow it quite well, ned to watch out a little for the spelling and grammar but pahhhh don't we all?:) But you've got the makings of something good here- so do keep it up :) x

[DarkAngelWriter]

Not my type of read, but does it matter? You read requested, I read. I loved. Without that request, I never woulda gotten my hands on this piece. And that would suck a*s lol. Going to the next chapter =)

[Steffi]

Wow i like the idea of this story a lot it reminds me a lot of the strory of Pans Labyrinth.