Ahnedonia.
The word itself is defined as no longer finding joy in things that used to entertain you.
My whole life I've dealt with this very definition, i easily loose touch of myself and feel like i' drifting in a dream that's not quite my own. Everyone assumes depression makes you feel sad constantly, but that's not the case. It comes in waves, drags you from shore where you know what you're doing and what you want and takes you into an ocean of doubt and fear, and you swim your way back every time. Now it varies from person to person, are you facing powerful storms? or is is a tranquil sea? We each have our own lengths to swim through , some of us get lifeboats , rafts, other people to pull us back,... but we all have different ways to accomplish it. Ahnedonia is one of the symptoms of depression and at the first sign it might be going back you want to strap yourself to shore and hold on with your life but it always seems too late... Don't let yourself loose touch with reality, the dream is yours it's just fucked up so take hold and power through back to dry land, one day you won't even remember what thous waves felt like.
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