And The Sky Was Set On Fire

I look above and saw the sky was set ablaze.

The sky, usually blue as the ocean, was crimson red.

The Cause, you ask?

The cause behind this marvelous phenomenon...

 

..Was God.

He who arch high in the heavens.

Has bled down, on our humble Earth.

His blood trickled down his wrist,

 

Blotting the sky with red.

Painting a picture.

A picture that could never be captured on film.

For the sky is too vast for any camera to capture.

Author's Note

It was sunset, and the sky looked like it was on fire. It was pretty... so I was compelled to write something. lol
Oh yeah, photocred to me, for the display pic. :)

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This sort of reminds me of a poem I wrote, wherein the beginning line is, "I paint my lips red and think how they bleed like my heart."

I get the same kind of feel from your poem. However, the transition from present to past tense within the same sentence is abrupt and really detracts from the poem itself.

For example,

"I look above and saw the sky was set ablaze"

Should be:

"I look above and see the sky is set ablaze"

I think I would keep the context of this poem within the present tense as it makes it more real to the reader. I also like the analogy of God slitting His wrist; and religious or not, I don't think it detracts from the poem at all.

Overall, I love the idea for the poem; and the picture is fantastic.

I would love to see you expound upon the possible reason behind God slitting His wrist.

Keep shining!

Linda Marie

[Breezie Kae]

Such great imagery. Awesome. :)

[Glenn Davis]

Gotta love those sunsets. I work on the water so there is always a wonderful full view of them and it seems everyday I am out there I always get caught up just staring into them. There is nothing like the transition from yellow to blood red before the sun disappears from view. I really like those last two lines as well. I always get mad that i can't fit the view i see within the frame of a camera.

[Ashley Cisneros]

This was a very amazing poem!
I loved reading it :)

[RAWR!]

i like the colours, i got thrown off guard by the god reference. i am not religious and i like science alot so to me it kinda became oversimplistic. dunno how to explain what i mean. cool write though, thanks for sharing :)

[Jessica]

wow, the concept of god slitting his wrist for a sunset is very unique XDD and symbolic

[Saturn's Lover]

Wow, what a beautiful poem

[deeps]

This is such a wonderful write here. A most enjoyable read. I like this alot. This is a very beuatiful write.