Rivers of Time

Dedicated to Jessica.

Every year winter comes,

Every year the snow falls from the sky.

Every year the world stops.

Rotation is reversed,

Time moves back,

And the rivers freeze.

 

The iced over rivers, lakes, and dams.

The snow covered sidewalks, streets, and lamps.

Freezing the hands of time in place,

freezing the happiness that once flowed.

 

Every year spring approaches,

Every year winter leaves.

Melting the ice, melting the snow, melting the hurt.

Bringing back the warmth of the sun.

Bringing back the flow of happiness.

Author's Note

(Directed @ Jessica, tell me what you think.)
But everyone tell me how you like it. :)
Please critisize.. I don't know how good the flow is.. :S

Reviews

[Jessica]

"The iced over rivers, lakes, and dams.

The snow covered sidewalks, streets, and lamps.

Freezing the hands of time in place,

freezing the happiness that once flowed."

this is definitely my favorite stanza in the poem :D i think it flows well and i like how the first and last stanzas have parallelism anddddddddddd i want to see snow! and i like the message and the imagery and how the weather represents emotionsss
sorry my review's all over the place

[Que]

Crickey, I like the flow of this poem (you've no need to to fear that it doesn't flow, it most certainly does.)

I'm always looking for a poem that embodies hope without actually... saying hope. Your poem is great at that and at creating each scene for the reader.

Well done ^-^ I liked it a lot

[Coyote Poetry]

The calmness of Winter make us wish for the rebirth of Spring. A beautiful poem.
Coyote

[*~Kristy~*]

I liked it, but I think I love more about the cold and ice and such, you describe it much better. Good write! :) I loved it!

[ByJ.T.Rogers]

it flows just fine and I could winter coming like it was out my window. The ending could use some work, I'm not quite shore why but it's like missing something or it could be the flow of words there.

[Manda]

Oh i enjoyed this very much! it was very well written =) well expressed. related to nature and real life =) your very talented =) keep up the good work and keep on writing =)

[Elanra]

"The iced over rivers, lakes, and dams.

The snow covered sidewalks, streets, and lamps."

This was the best "flowing" part in it. I really loved those two lines which feels like a rain drop sliding down a leave in a cool spring morning. That gentle and beautiful.
I do have some reservations about the rest tho.. I think some parts can be better. Especially the ending.
Maybe its the rhymes or just there some rocks on the river which prevents the flow, if u know what I mean..

But I liked the imaginary in it.. The pictures were really good. Nice job. ^_^

[Joanna Maharis]

What I like about this piece is the way you are able to establish an emotional connection with your readers.
In the beginning I could feel the pain, and getting to the middle the pain gradually melted away just like the snow. And by the end I did feel happy again, as is stated in you poem about the snow melting away. Some beautiful work here.

[Stephen Scaggs]

The message in this is a powerful one at that, but at the same time... you do have an issue with the flow of the poem. A normal poem has four lines per stanza, though it's fine to have an open verse poem at the same time. Winter comees and in the same fashion, it leaves. So is like our problems that come and go, discarding the ice of the past with the spring of new life. (:

[deeps]

I think it's a lovely write and the flow is wonderful, it read wonderful.
I am sure who ever Jessica is will appreciate this warm sincere write.