Today

Happy days. :D

Today I found a puppy,

a puppy left a stray.

Today I smoked a cigarette,

three cigarettes a day.

Today I looked at the sun,

the glowing light in the sky.

 

Today I thought about my life.

And how I could change it.

Today I looked at the sky,

and jumped "Hurray!"

Everyday is a new day.

Time to change, time to grow, time to assay.

Author's Note

The last verse to me needs improving... any ideas?

Reviews

[PaperHearts]

Thanks for making me smile! =] I liked the light and carefree nature of this poem, and thought that it progressed really well. Reading this poem made me realise that in life, it's not the big moments of happiness that matter so much, but the little things, like finding a puppy, or having the sun shine for you, that can be strung together, to experience true happiness.
A nice write,
~PaperHearts

[Jessica]

this may sound weird, but this really made me want to go outside and lie down in the grass and stuff XD i like the repetitive use of "today", it helps the poem progress :D

[Richard McLin]

Very good piece, the last line is totally what sold me on the poem, but the whole thing is solid and a very good piece of work.

-Richard.

[Ashley Cisneros]

This was a very good poem you've written here.

[Stephen Scaggs]

Revolution's heart is today, for the last line? o_o

[Joanna Maharis]

I like the images within this piece. I also like the way this piece reads like a beautiful narrative. The last verse in particular is a nice clincher, in that it ties everything together so beautifully.

[Theresa]

I don't think the last verse needs to change at all. I think that is where the poem is summed up. I like it the way it is, it's uplifting and gives a nice message. I especially love the last line:
"Time to change, time to grow, time to live."
It's really nice to read something uplifting at times opposed to dark and depressing. Nicely done. Thanks for sharing.

[Elanra]

you can use "assay" at the end of the last line which means to experiance, to try or you can use "play" and give it a little sugar? something which rhymes with "day". It makes it much better ^_^

but if you ask me, its already very good. I needed some positivity, thanks for the remedy!