Living in Ecstasy

Exxx.

A whisper here, a whisper there.

A burning in between.

My fair lady, please do not cry.

For I want you to wimper, and cry out to the moon with screams of ecstacy.

 

Breaths dancing, skin rubbing, my eyes just for you.

A kiss on the lips is all I ask.

My fair lady, come to me.

Let me be the one to ravish you,

let me hear those beautiful screams of ecstasy.

Reviews

[LeeLee Ryder]

Woo momma.. Very sensual & euphoric indeed ...
Cloud nine, here the lady comes.
LeeLee

[H. Moore]

Oh, this is lovely. :D I'm delighted to have picked it at random from this collection, as it reminds me closely of a senario I wrote out once (for the protagonist, it was incredibly important to 'steal her breath' or some such, it was a while ago now).

First, I have to say that I'm really no poet. The kind of poetry I like is dark and bizarre and... well, heroin-trip stream-of-consciousness stuff. Just a disclaimer; I'm not the best one to review poetry, but I'm teaching myself - there's so much here on WritersCafe! ^_^"

But this is nicely put, I like it; I however do feel it's a little heavy on cliche? Though the theme is one I've not heard before, and that's refreshing, the phrases themselves are all ones that I have. Overall this is a lovely poem, and heading in the right direction with the underlying theme, but it could be made a lot fresher and insightful with a bit of work on the language used.

(For example, when I first read it I misread "rubbing skin" as "rumbling skin", and was about to congratulate you on the original turn of phrase, as the latter brings to mind the female orgasm...)

This is certainly on the right track, my dear; and as I feel it's a little old too compared to your newer work, so I might be repeating things you've heard here. :) Still, with a little revision, I feel like this could be a fresh and inspiring piece. Best of luck.
- H.

[Jessica]

i love the passion in it, and i am not a freak D: it's beautiful and brings out the romantic intimacy, not just the physical lust, of sex