Insanity?

 

Why can’t I sleep? I thought to myself, as I rose out of bed for what must have been the tenth time that night alone.

            I hadn’t slept at all the entire week. I guess I was thinking too much, thinking about things I probably couldn’t even change. I thought about them nonetheless. All I ever did was think.

            I walked into the bathroom. I feel like one of the undead. It was true. I barely felt alive, although I was aware of my heart beating in my chest. Perhaps it was exhaustion, but I felt as though I was seeing, yet not seeing from me. It was impossible to describe but things either felt too real, or not real at all.

            I stumbled towards the mirror, nearly tripping over the air at my feet. I glanced at my reflection. I even look like one of the undead.

            My face was pale, almost white. There were purplish bags under my eyes, which also crinkled slightly at the corners. My lips were pale pink and my eyes looked so intense, too intense. My eyes…

            I couldn’t look away, it was impossible. Something was dragging me into the depth of those deep hazel eyes, which looked so much more green at this moment. Next to the green was a thin line of brown, followed by the smallest black pupils. They were sparkling; they were the only feature on my face that had life.

            Without even realizing it I had slowly edged closer to the mirror. I only noticed at the point that the tip of my nose touched the cold, hard, reflective glass. I gasped slightly, and wanted to pull back, but I couldn’t. I was still fixated.

            My physical description fit the most perfect definition of a vampire. I cocked my head to the side slightly and saw how scary I actually looked. With my head at that angle, it looked like I was a fierce predator, ready to pounce on my next tiny victim with lightning speed and dangerous, clashing teeth.

            Teeth. I slipped my tongue over them, and then slowly opened my jaw. Oh. My. God. My teeth literally looked like fangs. My incisors were always sharp, as I knew, but this was ridiculous. Perhaps it was just the angle, but they looked frighteningly sharp, quite realistically like fangs.

            I shut my jaw again and noticed the difference. With my mouth closed, I looked like a curious, semi-innocent predator. Like an undead, yet gloriously intense person. Mouth opened, and I looked like a true vampire, ready to devour whatever was in my path.

            What scared me most was that not only did I look undead, I felt undead too.

            There are no words that can be strung together to properly describe how I felt. No words in this entire universe. I felt too alive, like everything was too real. I felt too dead, like my heart really shouldn’t be beating at this moment. I felt like at any second I might be sucked into the reflective glass into a whole other dimension. I felt that I might get lost in my own intense, deep eyes. Get lost forever with no way of return.

            And then just as quickly as it started, it ended. I blinked, realizing that I hadn’t blinked the entire time I was staring at my reflection. And that was it, the trance was broken. I still felt weird. I still felt too alive and too dead at the same time. The clashing opposing forces making me feel like I was going insane. But I wasn’t being pulled by anything. That undeniable, uncontrollable force that was pulling me towards the mirror, towards my own eyes, just a second before, was gone.

            I stumbled back into bed, hoping to catch some sleep. Yet knowing for sure now that I wouldn’t.

            I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. My head began to throb. My pulse had quickened. Could there have been something, or someone trying to pull me out of here? Pull me into another dimension? Pull me back home? A place I had always shouted I wanted to go. Yet every time I arrived here, my house, I still felt the need to say ‘I want to go home’.

            Maybe my home was somewhere else. Somewhere outside of this world. Maybe in the vulnerable state I was in, I was starting to be pulled back there.

            Or perhaps, I was just finally going insane…

Reviews

[Ally]

wow nicole very well-written! i agree with Drew Wade about needing it to be continued but otherwise it's excellent :) and i remember you telling me about this happening to you... both retellings gave me chills :P great work! :)

[Drew Wade]

Is this one of the beginning chapters on a book about vampires? The writing is very good. I would say as an episode it works very well, but as a stand alone story, I don't know, it just doesn't have enough to keep me going. like it needs more plot.. like something needs to happen.

the quality of the writing is excellent, though, like I said.