Love and Lust Together

just random inspiration i had slightly more...lustful i guess you could say, than my normal stuff haha

 

“Hey Antansia.”

            I looked up from where I was sitting on the floor, book in hand. “Hey.”

            It was my friend Travis. Well, the friend I was currently crushing on, which is why I quickly snapped my book shut and slid it under my hand. “What’s up?”

            “Not much.” He sat down on the floor next to me. He smelled so good. I have no idea what cologne he wore, but it was always the same one, and always made my head spin. “You?”

            “Reading.” I held up the now firmly shut book.

            Travis chuckled. “But of course.” He smiled at me. He had the most adorable smile. Travis wasn’t really hot, but he was cute. He was a year older than me, making him 19, but sometimes acted as if he was five years older than me. He was charming, intelligent, I guess what a lot of girls wanted. He was also taller than me, and never let me forget it. No one ever let me forget that I was always the shortest.

            “So, what brings you here tonight?” I asked him. I didn’t think he would come and hang out by himself in a bookstore.

            He shrugged his shoulders. “I was picking up a book. That’s all.” He held up a bag with what appeared to be a book in it.

            So that explained why he came so late. The bookstore closed in about ten minutes. “How about you?” he asked. “Can’t get enough of twilight?” he stressed the last word in a silly manner, flailing his arms, mocking me. I hit him in the head with my book.

            “Oh shut up.” I said.

            He laughed. “Hey that’s abuse!” he said, a little loudly. I clamped my hand over his mouth. Something I never thought I’d have the guts to do.

            He took my wrist in his hand and yanked it off. Then he wrapped both his arms around me and squished me. “I can’t breathe!” I giggled.  He started giving me a noogie, and I half yelled at him “I’ll bite you!”

            “Kinky.” He laughed. My jaw dropped.

            “Fine, you leave me no choice.” I managed to sputter, as he refused to let go. I bit his arm.

            “Ow!” he over reacted, cradling his arm and laughing.

            We had been flirting for a long while, but this was definitely the farthest we’d gotten.

            “You’re gonna pay!” he pounced on me again. I noticed he was making sure he wasn’t putting all of his weight on me, though.

            At that point, an employee from the store walked up to us. “We’re closed.” She said bluntly.

            Travis and I stopped squirming on the floor and disentangled ourselves. We knew she wanted us to leave; we were being too much of a nuisance. “Okay.” Travis said lightly. “Shall we?” he held out his arm.

            I picked up my book and handed it to the employee so she could put it away, and grabbed Travis’ forgotten bag from the floor. Then I placed my hand in the crook of his arm and said “Of course”, and waltzed out the store with him.

            “So…what are you doing tonight?” Travis asked me once we were outside.

            “Nothing.” I said.

            “Are your parents…picking you up or something?”

            I searched for my cell phone in my pocket and held it up. “I said I’d call them.”

            “Oh.”

            “What are you doing tonight?” I asked him. “Did you take the car here?”

            “Yea, I’m not doing anything either.”

            Silence.

            “Listen, want to hang out for a bit? And then I’ll drive you home?” Travis asked me.

            My heart fluttered briefly. Just me and Travis? Uhm, hello! No brainer! “Sure.” I answered swiftly.

            “Cool. Get in the car shorty.” He pushed me towards his car. Don’t ask me what kind of car it was; I’m horrible with that stuff. All I know was it was silver.

            “Freak.” I mumbled, as I got into the passenger seat and slammed the door shut.

            “Uh, try not to snap the door off. It’s my parents’ car you know.” He sniggered as he started the car. I stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed.

            “So, where do you want to go?” he inquired.

            “Uhm.” I bit my lip. “I don’t know really. Wherever you want I guess. But I should call my parents and let them know where I’m going…”

            “Yea.” He replied, clearly thinking. “Well, it’s kind of late, want to just go for a coffee or something?”

            “Sure.” I replied. I had change in my coat pocket, enough for a coffee anyhow.

            I quickly dialed my house number. My mom answered. “Hey ma, I’m going to hang out with Travis for a bit, and then he’s going to drive me home…coffee…I don’t know what time…I’ll call you, yea…okay bye.”

            “Cool with the parental units?” Travis glanced at me, as I snapped my phone shut.

            “Yup.” I slipped my cell back in my coat pocket.

            “Good.” His hand flew to the stereo and he turned up some heavy rock stuff. The bass in his car must have been on real high, because I could feel the vibrations from the music all around me.

            All I could think was holy s**t! I’m alone in a car, with Travis! Finally!

            “Antanasia?” I heard Travis say my name like a question. My name sounded so glorious in his mouth.

            “Hm?” I looked up.

            “Are you like deaf or something?”

            “WHAT?” I yelled. And he broke down laughing.

            “I called your name like three times.”

            “It’s your stupid loud music.” I pouted.

            “Yea okay, or maybe you just need a hearing aid.”

            “A*****e!” I spat the word at him.

            “Wow you’re vicious tonight.” He half-smiled.

            “Look who’s talking. You’re the one who attacked me in the store!”

            “You started it.” Travis kidded back.

            I laughed at myself. We sounded like two six year old children bickering back and forth.

            We arrived at the coffee shop then, and he parked closest to the doors. It was winter after all, and still freezing outside.

            I honestly didn’t know what to think. It was all happening so fast. I only knew Travis for about four months. But I had always liked him. We spoke on a daily basis, but we had never really hung out before. I was afraid of messing up.

            We both ordered a coffee and sat down at a small table in the far corner. Not very many people were in the coffee shop, for which I was thankful. It was more fun being just me and Travis.

            “So, how’s life treating you?” I asked Travis.

            “Alright I guess.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, it’s just life.”

            I rolled my eyes. “Okay whatever.” I said, taking a sip of coffee.

            “You did something different with your hair, no?” he eyed my head. I looked up with my eyes, knowing very well I wouldn’t be able to see my own hair. That was stupid. I thought.

            “Yea.” I mumbled. “I dyed it more redish.” I played with the tips of my hair. My hair was shoulder length, and used to be black. Recently I decided to try fuchsia.

            “Well, I like it.” he said.

            Wow, a compliment? From Travis?  That was other-worldly. “Thanks.” I smiled. He smiled back.

            We finished our coffees talking about more serious issues. He told me a lot more about his childhood, and how he had watched his mother die in front of him, at only the age of 8. I felt really bad, and didn’t know what to say. I mumbled ‘I’m sorry’, to which he replied ‘don’t be’. So I just shut up.

            Then we got on the topic of clothing. It was quite random, I wasn’t really sure how we started talking about it, but we did. “You know, you should try wearing a corset someday.” Travis said to me.

            My jaw dropped. “Are you implying that I’m FAT?” I almost yelled at him.

            “No!” He blinked and his eyes changed suddenly. They were hazel like mine, but they went more green and he seemed disappointed. “You misunderstood me. I didn’t mean that at all. I just meant that Victorian style would suit you. Actually, my mom had one, a really nice red one that would probably look really good on you. In fact, it would match your hair too.” His lips curved up into a grin. His lips. I couldn’t stop staring at them. Damn! Snap out of it girl!  I shook my head slightly to clear my mind. I looked up at him. “Really?”

            “Yea, I have it up in my room. I keep it because it was her most prized possession. Although she hated to admit a piece of clothing was that important to her, it was obvious. She wore it all the time.” His eyes glazed over. I was sure he was remembering her in it. “You should try it on.” Travis suddenly suggested.

            “No, I couldn’t.” I shook my head. “I’d never do it justice. Besides it’s evidently important to you, and was important to your mom.”

            “So?” He looked at me inquiringly. “I want to see you in it.”

            That’s…touching? Yet weird…should I let myself believe what I’m starting to believe?  Thoughts and questions swirled around in my head.

            “Okay.” I said lamely.

            “Actually,” Travis stretched his arms behind him, “there’s this sweater of mine I’d like you to have a look at. I can’t seem to fix the zipper, it sort of got twisted. And well, since you’re the magical person.” He laughed at his own childish attempt at an insult.

            I was very into magic. Witches, vampires, spirits, you name it, I was into it. He liked to mock me, tell me none of it was real and I was pathetic. Then pretend like I was a witch just to mock me further.

            “Jerk.”

            “Is that all you got?’ he provoked me.

            “Arrogant jerk who can’t deal with his own petty little problems.” I tried.

            “Nice.” He chuckled.

            “So, whadda ya say?” he butchered his sentence.

            “Now?” I asked, my eyes wide in shock.

            “No, on the eternal equinox. Yes now.”

            “Alright.” I said snappily. And we got up and went to his car again.

            We drove in silence for the first little while, and surprisingly it wasn’t really that awkward. Then Travis went to further describing what this corset looked like.

            “It’s like a little bit brighter than the red of your hair. And it has black lace along the bottom. And it’s done up in the back the old fashioned way, with like these silk ribbons.” The hand closest to me was not on the steering wheel; instead it was flying around in random motions as he spoke.

            I bit my lip as he explained. “I’m not so sure I’ll look good in it. Or even fit in it.” I whispered the last part. Travis caught it nonetheless.

            “My mother had a similar figure as you do. It will fit you, and you will look good in it.” He assured me. Then, cocking his head slightly he asked, “Why are you so insecure of yourself?”

            It was like a slap in the face. “I am not.” I whined like a little child.

            “Yes, you are.” He said, though not in a mean way.

            “Because…I’m used to good things leaving my life, or not being there to begin with. And besides, I’ve never been in a relationship, and no one has ever liked me.”

            “You’re forgetting Maria.” He attempted to hide the smile in his voice, but I heard it. The only person to ever like me was a lesbian girl who was two years younger than me, and was a friend of mine. She had kissed me a few months back, and I had told Travis everything. Only Travis, Maria, and I knew what happened that night. My second kiss, the first one being with some random guy on a dare, and my first full minute kiss. It was ridiculous really.

            “Fine, no guy then.” I retorted.

            “You don’t know that.” He said, pulling into his street.

            “I know no guy I’ve liked has ever liked me in return.” I stated, my eyes flaring angrily.

            He was silent for a minute. He pulled into his driveway and into the garage before commenting on my statement. “Don’t be so sure about that.”

            “What makes you so sure that someone has returned my feelings? You know I’ve never been in a relationship!” Now I was getting flustered. This was a touchy subject with me.

            “Just…trust me, okay?” Travis looked at me with pleading eyes.

            How could I not trust him? All my anger died away and I answered weakly, “I do trust you.”

            “Good.” He said. “Now into the house we go!”

            He charged through the door and I followed closely behind. He led me up the stairs and into his room. “Sit.” He ordered.

            “I’m not a dog.” I scowled.

            “Really? Could have fooled me.”

            “A*****e and a half.” I threw the insult at him.

            “Look who’s talking.”

            “I’ll beat you up!”

            “Ooo I’m scared.” He mocked me.

            I pouted and grudgingly sat on the edge of his bed. He hurled a sweater at me. “Hey! The zipper could have hit me in the face! You know how much that would have hurt?” I shrieked.

            “Sorry.” He mumbled.

            “Sorry?” I asked. “SORRY? What would you have done then, huh?” I milked the new argument.

            “Hugged you until you felt better.” He was rummaging through his closet as he spoke.

            I shook my head. “Yea sure you would have.”

            “Seriously!” he pulled his head out of the closet to look at me. He looked sincere enough.

            “Alright” I said, and studied the sweater now in my hands. The zipper was on an angle and I tried to force it back properly. It was quite difficult. “How did you even manage this?” I wondered aloud.

            “I don’t know.” Travis’ voice was muffled again; he was deeper in his closet. “It just came out of the wash like that.”

            After about ten minutes of tinkering with it, I managed to get the zipper back the proper way. “Ha!” I shouted in success.

            “How did you do that?” he asked, appalled. He walked over to the bed and yanked it out of my hand to survey it. “Damn you and your magic.” Travis condemned me.

            “HEY!” I made to slap his arm but he jumped out of the way.

            “Missed me!” he pointed and laughed.

            “I’ll get you!” I ran after him.

            “Oh s**t.” He slipped into the hallway.

            I chased him down the stairs and into the kitchen. He kept slipping out of my grasp. He had longer legs than me, and I lost my breath quicker.

            “Ha ha! You can’t catch me!” he teased, running back up the stairs.

            I had really lost my breath now, and was starting to get a searing pain in my left side, which was weaker from my surgery. Surgery from when I was only 11 months. I tried to chase him back up the stairs but slipped on the second step from the top, and shrieked as I felt myself tumble backwards.

            Before my head could make impact with the wall or the stairs or the railings, I felt a strong hand grab my wrist and pull me back up. I was breathing in quick short breaths and my heart was thudding in my chest.

            “Jesus Antanasia, be careful. I don’t want you dying.” Travis tried to joke but I could see in his eyes that he was concerned. Truly concerned, that my head had just come within inches of dangerous contact with something much more solid.

            “Sorry.” I mumbled.

            “Stop apologizing.” He led me back to his room and onto the edge of his bed. I took a sharp intake of breath as a pain like a knife slicing through me jolted through my left side.

            “What is it?” he asked, sitting next to me.

            “Just my side.” I tried to laugh. “The surgery I told you about, remember?”

            “Yeah.” He answered. “Are you going to be alright?”

            “Yeah, it just takes five minute or so to subside. It just strains easier since the tissues are weaker.”

            He nodded. Then asked, “Can I see? The scar I mean.”

            I was slightly taken aback for a second but quickly responded, “Sure.” I lifted up the bottom of my shirt to reveal a long, thin, whitish line that went from the left side of my spine, all the way around to the front of my left side. Almost where my stomach was.

            “Ouch.” He whispered, running a finer along it.

            I involuntarily let out a sigh. I hoped Travis didn’t notice. The feeling of his finger brushing against my scar was…magical. It felt tingly, and I suddenly realized that every time Travis and I came into contact, I felt tingly at the spot where we met.

            Travis abruptly rose then, and picked up the corset from his closet, and brought it over to me. “This is it.” he held it up under the light for me to see.

            It was completely gorgeous. Just like he had described it. It was strapless and was a beautiful deep red. It had light black lace along the bottom and a low cut at the top. The back was laced together in long, black, silk ribbons. “It’s beautiful.” I whispered.

            Travis chuckled. “Of course, it’ll look more beautiful on you.” He held it out to me.

            Now that I had actually seen the corset, I knew I couldn’t do it justice. I just couldn’t reach out and take it from him. Travis must have noticed my hesitation, for he impatiently thrust it into my hands. “Washroom is right next to my room.” And he pointed me in the direction. I gulped, nodded, and walked into the washroom.

            I locked the door behind me and stared at my reflection in the mirror, which covered the entire wall. I lifted my shirt over my shoulders and undid the corset’s backing. I slipped it over my head and shoulders. Perfect fit. Just like Travis said.

            I couldn’t seem to be able to tie up the lace in the back, though. The ribbons were too long and my fingers fumbled with them, as my hands were shaking. What was I going to do?

            “You doing alright in there?” Travis asked after a few minutes.

            “Uhm, I’m having trouble with the ribbons.” I mumbled.

            “I’ll help you.” He offered.

            It was hard to pass up, yet hard to say yes to. Travis attempting to tie a corset on me? I took a deep breath, unlocked the door, and stepped out.

            “Turn around.” He said, a little gruffly. I wondered if maybe I had disappointed him. Maybe I didn’t look like he thought I would in this beautiful and special item of his.

            “Hold up your hair.”

            I lifted up my hair and held it over my head. I felt Travis’ fingers lightly grazing my back as he did up the corset. I stared down the hall into the room at the end of it. What appeared to be the master bedroom. That’s when it crashed onto me for the first time that night. “Travis!” I whispered urgently. “I’m standing in your hallway with you doing up a prized corset on me, what if your dad walks by?” I sounded slightly panicked.

            “I’m not that much of an idiot, Antanasia.” He said, spinning me around, clearly done tying up the corset. “No one is home.” He looked right at me as he said it. I let my hair fall back down and my arms follow suit.

            I ‘m alone, with Travis. In his house. In a corset. That used to belong to his mom. I was in his bedroom. It was difficult for me to breathe. I was elated and yet slightly terrified at the same time. What if I was misinterpreting? But I couldn’t be, could I?

            “You look…stunning, gorgeous.” Travis’ voice was naught but a whisper. Very airy, astonished. He walked me back into the bathroom to look at my reflection. He was right.

            The corset fell in all the right places. Pushing out my chest, making it look full and beautiful. Hiding my little bit of belly fat, and flowing neatly at the bottom, with the dainty little lace. The low cut at the top accentuated my breasts, which really were probably the best part of my body. I couldn’t believe it.

            “See, and you were so convinced you were ugly.” Travis spat the last word, as he dragged me towards his bedroom again. “Can I take a picture?” he asked.

            “Sure.” I shrugged.

            He pulled a digital camera out of his bedside table and snapped a quick shot. “Gorgeous.” I heard him mumble. “My mom would have liked you in it too.” He smiled at me.

            I smiled back. “Thanks.” I said, carefully sitting on the edge of his bed again. I was so afraid of ruining the beautiful article of clothing.

            He sat next to me again. We just looked at each other. We didn’t say anything for a long while, and then a smile began to play along Travis’ lips.

            “What?” I asked, feeling myself smirking in return.

            “You know, I’ve never kissed a girl who’s kissed a girl before.”

            And before I could reply in any way Travis’ lips met mine. Millions of thoughts crashed through my brain at once as Travis’ tongue slipped its way into my mouth. But I couldn’t pay attention to them, they just whizzed past me in a blur, because all I could think, feel, smell, and taste was Travis. My lips tingled now, everything tingled. His hand flew up into my hair, pulling my head back slightly. My hand was on his cheek. My eyes were closed and I’m sure his were too.

            What started off as sweet and somewhat slow became quick and passionate. Now I was lying down on his bed, and Travis was on top of me. One hand still twisted in my hair, the other holding up his weight. One of my hands was still on his face; the other was touching the small of his back. I wanted to push him down on top of me, but a small part of my brain still screamed that I might destroy the corset.

            Travis pulled back for a second and looked at me. I stared into his hazel eyes, so full of confusion, desire, love, and lust. I knew everything he was thinking, and I was thinking the same things. “See, and you said no one returned your feelings.” He whispered. “I told you to trust me.”

            I kissed his lips briefly and replied, “I told you I do.”

            He moaned slightly and buried his head into my neck. I could barely comprehend what he just said. He just admitted he liked me in return.

            I felt his lips touch my neck and I sighed. “That’s my thing.” I whispered.

            “Vampire.” He sniggered.

            I clamped my teeth on his neck and he moaned. It wasn’t a bad moan, he was enjoying it. I had my fun. That was what I knew best. It was vampire territory. I chuckled slightly to myself at my own joke.

            Then Travis’ mouth was on mine again. And now hands were everywhere. Suddenly we were sitting up again, and my body was pressed against his in an embrace. His arms were wrapped around my upper body, and I threw mine around his neck. I felt his fingers fumbling with the ribbons on the corset, as he attempted to undo them while still making out with me. To my own surprise, I didn’t protest.

            The corset was off within minutes, and lying gently on the floor where it couldn’t be harmed. Travis’ hands were now on my breasts, and my own hands moved down to his crotch. I didn’t think too much, I just felt. That was a first.

            Suddenly he was on top of me on the bed again. I had somehow managed to rip off his shirt too, though our faces were constantly pressed together.

            After about two more minutes, Travis reached for something on his night table, still kissing me, and then pressed it into my hand. Still not stopping. I felt it and knew immediately what it was. A condom.

            I also knew what he was waiting for. If I tossed it aside, we would stop. If I pressed it back into his hand, we would go the next step. From the way I felt when Travis touched me I knew I loved him. From the way he acted around me, which was so much different than everyone else, I knew he loved me too. Even though I had denied it before, it was my insecurity. Just like he had said.

            No, I was ready. This was the man I loved. I pressed the condom back into Travis’ hand, and felt his lips curve into a smile as he kissed me.

            Breathing now ragged, we both managed to undo the others’ pants without stopping. I have no idea how long it went on for, but not a word was spoken, yet everything was said. I had a small flare of worry, knowing Travis was not a virgin, but I trusted him more than anyone, so I just pushed him closer to me, and I felt better.

            Five seconds later, I was on top of him. Exploring every part of his naked body with my hands, then with my lips.

            When I was through, and had returned to his lips, he tumbled over me gently and had his turn. I never wanted him to stop. I never wanted to let go.

            After what felt like hours, we ceased. Tired and out of breath, I lay my head on his chest. He placed his hand on my head, and gently stroked me hair. I fell asleep.

~

            “Antanasia. Antanasia.” Someone shook my shoulder and I felt a tingle where his skin made contact with mine. Travis.

            “Yea?” I looked up.

            “It’s midnight, I think your mom tried to call you.”

            Oh s**t. I was still lying naked on Travis’ bed, with my head on his chest. “Here.” He reached over and grabbed my cell from my coat pocket, which I had tossed on the floor upon our arrival.

            I dialed my house number with shaking fingers. “Antanasia? Where are you?” my mom’s voice was urgent.

            “I said I’d call you ma, I’m calling.” To my surprise, I managed to sound calm, cool, and collected.

            “Well I tried calling twice-”

            I cut my mom off, “yea I just came to Travis’ house for a minute to fix his jacket. My phone was in my coat, so…but I just remembered to call you now.”

            “Okay, well how long are you going to be?”

            I weighed this in my mind for a bit. How long would I take now? “I don’t know, however long it takes to fix the jacket I guess. And then get home. Maybe half an hour?”

            “Be home by one.” My mom said sharply.

            “Alright.” I replied.

            “Bye.”

            “Bye.”

            I snapped the phone shut.

            “Good going. Fast thinking.” Travis nodded his approval.

            I sat up slowly. “Thanks.” I said.

            Travis looked like he was having an argument with himself in his head. “What?” I asked. He knew what I was asking.   

            “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…not that far.” He ran his fingers through his short hair.

            “I wanted to.” I answered.

            “But…”

            “I know what you’re thinking. But, I mean, it’s done right? Let’s see where it goes from here.”

            “I guess…” he still seemed confused.

            I didn’t really know what to say. I started walking around his room, picking up my clothes.

            “Antanasia?”

            “Hm?” I looked up at him.

            He took a really deep breath. “I love you.”

            I almost fell. Travis never said that. Not to anyone. “What?” I blinked in astonishment.

            “I…I love you. I’ve never felt so much. And you know how many girls…”

            He didn’t need to finish his sentence. I slipped my undies and pants on and walked over to the bed and hugged him. “I’m so happy. I love you too.”

            He smiled. “Really?”

            “Yea.” I said, “I’ve never felt so much either.”

            “So you felt the…tingly…stuff?” he asked, looking like he felt like an idiot for saying it.

            “Hahaha, yea.” I smiled.

            He smiled back. And I knew both of our smiles touched our eyes, and were sincere. We got dressed quickly, and he held the corset up to me. “You keep it.” he said.

            “No.” I shook my head. “It’s too important to you and I’m sure your father too.”

            “But, it looks so good on you. Like it was made for you.”

            “I’ll wear it again, sometime. I mean if you want me to. I’ll just come here to get it.” I smiled.

            “Okay.” He smiled back. And we understood that this was now like a second home to me.           

            We got into his car so he could drive me home. We both understood that although we had a lustful night, it wasn’t just lust. It was love. A love that burned brighter than anything.

            He held my hand in his as he drove me home. And before I got out of the car we shared a slow, beautiful, and meaningful kiss.

            As I stepped out the door he called out “I’ll call you first thing tomorrow morning.”

            “You don’t have my number.” I replied.

            He tossed me his cell phone. I smiled as I put in my number.

            “Good night Antanasia.”

            “Good night Travis.”

            “I love you.”

            “I love you, too.”

            I turned to shut the door and leave. “And Antanasia.”

            I stopped. “yea?”

            “I’m a good thing in your life, right?

            “Of course.” I blinked.

            “I’m not leaving.”

            I blinked again, remembering how I told him good things always leave me. “Promise?” I asked, knowing also that he didn’t usually make promises. But if he did, he kept them.

            “Promise.” He nodded.

            I shut the door and he drove off, leaving me dying for the morning to come around.

Reviews

[Elana Juli Royson]

This is a very passionate piece and a very good write. Keep writing!