The End

The End

By Nico Jao

Part One - The Beginning

Part Two - Disaster

Part Three - The End

Part One: The Beginning

First

Maybe, just for once, my brother Randy was right. 

You hear of stories about the end of the world. You hear that the situations rarely have anything good happening in them. They’re situations that are so terrible, you can’t seem to remember anything happy in the world. You forget what the world was once like; you forget what the world could be. It’s a time where the bad outweighs the good. People go suicidal. People kill. People die. 

But they’re made up. And when you finish the story, whether it be a book or a movie, you always get the sense of relief at the end when you realize that the world you were visualizing while being into the story, while being connected into it, is not real. It’s the best feeling ever. It gives you hope. The world will never be like this, it’ll never be as the stories say. Mankind is just too good at escaping of extinction. Look at us now! We’re too advanced to die off in an apocalypse. 

The hope subsides when you hear another story. But then it comes back. It always comes back. It always comes back because you always know that no matter how bad the world gets, no matter how short our lives on this earth are, there’s always things to live for, things to always be happy about. And those are the things that make you forget your depression. They make you forget asking what is the meaning of life, because the answer is right in front of you. Family, friends, precious moments. 

But this time, in real life, humanity has come closest to a 

threatening danger than we’ve ever been before. The world is a big place, but it gets smaller every human that gets added to it. And when enough humans are added, well, it’s a small world to everybody. We’ve been closest to the max amount of people the earth could hold than ever before in history. The world is almost reaching ten billion people. It’s not stopping. It won’t stop, in fact. 

Population growth has been reaching tremendous leaps lately. There’s not enough space. There’s not enough food. It’s all over the news. It’s an apocalypse that we couldn’t have ever stopped, or fully seen coming. The problem is that there’s nearly no way to stop it. The only way is to reduce the population. Which means killing. Killing a lot of people. Mass murders. Genocide. And nobody wants to do that. Nobody in their right mind ever wants to take people’s lives, even if it means making the world a better place. It’s really bad. It makes you a bad human being. If you ever did that, you’ll never be considered a hero, because even if you’re trying to solve a world problem, you’re killing millions, or even billions of people that don’t deserve it. It’s the darkest logic anyone could ever have. 

My father told me, A good human is a human, and a bad human is a non-human. Anyone who killed wasn’t considered human anymore, because they’ve lost the one trait that made us who we are. We’re bent on surviving, and if you didn’t agree, what made you one of us? The only reason life exists is because death does. What gives life meaning if death doesn’t exist? Life wouldn’t be a rare thing anymore, because death is not real. It’s like having all the diamonds in the world. What’s it worth if only you have them all? 

My brother Randy and I are worried. Even if we live in North America, and food and water commodities here aren’t scarce, but we’re scared that soon they will be. When there are enough people in the world, and everybody wants to share, there won’t be enough. Nobody wants to take all for themselves, because that’s considered bad. But maybe it won’t be, if you have to do it to survive. If everybody shared, everybody would die. 

Randy is one of the only people in the world I know that doesn’t get scared. He also has the thickest ego in his opinions. He’s always been that big brother, much older than you, has an over-achieving mindset, and has always never loved you. 

That’s the reason why I don’t love him back either, even though he’s family. And family who separates isn’t one at all. And that’s why I barely think we’re a family at all. 

One time, he told me, “Eli, listen.”

I was small then. I stopped my colouring book and jumped on the couch next to him. He put me in a headlock and gave me a noogie, which really hurt. 

“Hey!” I started laughing. 

“That’s what you get for jump-scaring me in the closet yesterday.”

“Okay! Okay! You win.” I was dying of laughter, and when he let me go I was out of breath. “What was it that you wanted to tell me?”

We gazed out the window and looked at the stars. “You know why we’re a good family, huh, little bro? You know why?”

I shook my head. 

“Because when you look out there, and you see into the 

outer world, you see a lot of people. A lot. And you can tell they come from big families.”

I kept listening. 

“And that’s why we’re good,” he said. “Our family only has two children. Just enough to replace our parents when they die. Other families have more than two, so when their parents die they have more people than what they started with. And it doesn’t help the world, because what we need is less people. You look out the window and see the countryside, don’t ya?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“In the next ten years it’ll all be gone. You’ll be seeing a city. Because when the time comes that they’re gonna run outta space everywhere else, they’re gonna come here. And soon there’ll be no space left, little bro. That won’t happen if population doesn’t explode. So that’s why we’re a good family, because when Mom and Dad die, we’re the only ones left. Two for two.”

I started tearing up. “Why do you talk about Mom and Dad’s death like it’s nothing?”

“Get over it. It happens to everybody someday. That’s what gives life meaning.”

I tried to wipe back my tears, but they came back. And then I thought, one of the rarest moments in my life, maybe, just for once, my brother Randy was right. 

“C’mon, Eli. They’re coming back at ten. Don’t be scared, we’ve been home alone countless times. I’m going to bed. Go talk to Violet or something.”

As Randy went up the stairs, he called, “Little bro?”

I found my old voice. “Yeah?”

“Water the plants before you sleep. It’s going to be a hot

 day tomorrow.”

I said okay in my head before Randy disappeared from view. I thought over what he had said as I began to put on my jacket. 

“A sit-tee…” I said to myself as I looked for the door keys. “What in the world is a city…”

When I went outside, it was turning dark. The sun was about to set and the stars were coming out, covered by numerous dark clouds all over the sky. 

I opened the garage. That musty smell inside always hit me when the dust in the air cleared away. I uncoiled the hose and twisted the pump, getting the water ready. I folded a part of the hose to stop the water from flowing so I could have time to bring it to the bushes. I let loose of it once I was there, and I began to water the plants. 

As I did, I watched the sun set over the hills, the light slowly fading away. I tried to imagine an urban city taking the place of all that farmland. I wasn’t sure if I believed Randy about that. All I knew was that I didn’t want it to happen. The country was all I ever knew. I didn’t know what a city was at the time, and I hoped I never did, because Randy portrayed them to me as bad things. They were overcrowded, always noisy, and always busy, even at night. Randy also told me that there are so many lights on in a city that you can’s see the stars, no matter how much you tried, or wanted to. I’ve always loved the stars, and I couldn’t imagine a life without knowing about them. 

Mom said that some kids were born and raised in the city life, and they weren’t used to getting their hands dirty in a farm like this, and living in this everyday. She told me that since I was born here, this was the only life I ever knew, so I didn’t know that being in a rural area like this wasn’t average. I didn’t know that our life wasn’t considered a normal life, because we were part of the countryside, not in a city or suburban area. I didn’t know any of that. I didn’t know school was a thing, and that it was considered normal. I didn’t know those tall buildings with so many windows were considered normal. It made me wonder, would our family be considered not normal?

No, Mom said. There are lots of modern farmer families in the world. They’re the ones that feed the entire nations. We would be considered special.

A familiar voice broke my thoughts. 

“Eliwin! Eliwin!” 

Other than Randy, Violet was the only other kid I ever knew in my life. Another house was visible to us from ours, and she lived in that house. We were like the only people in the entire area. She was just like us, homeschooled, born and raised here, never seen the city, from a modern farmer family. And in ways she was just like me, same personality, same likings, loved to watch the sunset and gaze at the stars out here in the country. 

She came down the hill to me, and we did our handshake, which ended with a hand explosion at the end, plus the sound effects. It always did. 

“What are you doing out here?” she asked.

“Watering the garden. What else?”

“Wanna go to the town and have ice cream?” she held up a dollar. “My dad said we could.”

The nearest town was a thirty minute walk from here, and sometimes Mom and Dad brought us there, and sometimes Violet and I walked. It was a lakeside town, with a beach and beautiful streets. Violet and I would usually eat ice cream at the boardwalk, while we watched the sunset. People there would ask where were our parents, and I would always get confused. I never understood that Violet’s or my parent’s parenting wasn’t the best; they always let us walk wherever we wanted, they let us help with dangerous chores at an early age, like lawn mowing. I’ve always thought that was normal for a kid, because it was the only life I knew. 

“It’s too late for walking to the town. It’ll get dark. We could just watch the sunset here,” I said. 

“Blah blah blah, fine. Why, are you scared the dark?”

“No.”

“I’m just joking. It’s just, you’re always busy.”

“Then water your garden.”

“Why? The sun’s setting, look.”

I stopped the hose and we watched it go down. It took a while, longer than I thought, and it was getting late and I knew I should’ve finished watering the plants. I didn’t want them to be thirsty tomorrow when the sun’s going to be up again, and it’ll be very hot. But Violet always makes me stop chores when she comes.

“Some bad things are happening in the world right now, Eli.”

“I know,” I said. 

“You know about Araceli?”

“Yeah.”

“Gee, this is new. You’re always the one who doesn’t know what’s going on in the world.”

I laughed. “Shut up. How can I not know about Araceli? He’s literally taking over the TV.”

“I don’t like what he’s doing.” 

“Me neither. But everybody does. My brother is a believer of his opinions.”

“But that’s your brother.”

I laughed again. “Stop!” I said, sorry for my brother. “You don’t know what he’s like. You don’t live with him. He can be nice. Well, sometimes.”

“He’s going on a political campaign in what he believes,” she continued. “One of them is killing. He wants to kill people, in order to stop the population problem. I’ve lost faith in the world if that’s what people want. Huh, Eli?”

I wasn’t listening. I thought I saw a shadow of a person in the wheat fields. Nobody’s ever in the wheat fields. Nobody but us.

“Eli? Eliwin!”

“Huh?” I broke out of my trance. “Did ya see that?”

“What?” she asked. “Are you going insane? I didn’t see nothin’.”

“A person was standing there,” I pointed right at the spot, which wasn’t too far away. “Right there!”

“Stop! You’re scaring me.”

We sat in silence for a moment as the last sunlight faded away. A chill went down my spine.

Finally, Violet whispered a question: “What did the person look like?”

“I don’t remember,” I said, which was weird. It happened a minute ago. “C’mon, I better go back to chores. Randy told me to, and I can’t stop now. I’ve already wasted so much time, it’s already dark.” 

“Wait, walk me back!” she said as she got up with me. “If there’s a person in there I don’t want to walk back to my

 house alone.”

“What person?”

Her confused face told me I said something wrong. “The one you just told me about. Literally a second ago.”

I had no idea what she was talking about. “Are you going crazy?”

“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not,” she said. “Never mind, I’ll walk alone. I’m not scared of the dark. Or people.”

I still didn’t know what she was talking about. I was about to grab the hose again before thunder struck in the distance, and we heard the boom. Rain droplets started coming down. 

Violet and I met each other’s eyes. “Uh-oh,” I said.

She whacked her forehead. “I should’ve known! Father told me that when you see dark clouds, you will soon see rain. I’m so dumb. Anyways, I gotta go! See ya Eliwin!” 

“Bye,” I said as she ran up the hill and made it for her house. 

I looked one last time at the wheat field. I didn’t know why. I just thought maybe I remembered something there. 

The rain started pouring when I put the hose back and closed the garage. Rain meant less work for me, the plants would already get watered. I didn’t need to do it myself. By the time I made it in the front door, I was soaking wet, and I grabbed a towel in the bathroom to dry myself. I looked out the window and watched what used to be a pretty night sky turned into a dull, rainy sky. 

Then thunder struck again, and I jumped. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. 

I whispered a message to Mom and Dad, who were 

probably driving in a highway somewhere. Come back home safely, you two.

I made it upstairs shivering under my towel, into my room, and dumped myself on the bed. I was trying to stay awake, mainly so I could still brush my teeth at least, but I didn’t think I had the energy. Instead I thought about my talk with Violet. 

I went under my covers and thought. Later I heard a knock on the door. It couldn’t have been Mom and Dad, so it must’ve been Randy. I didn’t have the energy to tell him to come in, but he did anyway. He always does that. I saw him in the light of the hallway in pyjamas, rubbing his eyes. He always checked on me before he went to sleep. 

He went up to my bed. “Hey, little bro. Are you cold?”

I nodded. 

“Aww.” He went on the bed and put an arm around me, to keep me warm. Soon he fell asleep, but I was still awake. This was the Randy I loved, not the one I always hated. The brother that always took care of me, who never let me down. The sweet Randy.

I went back to thinking about my conversation with Violet, one of the weirdest ones I’ve had yet. What did she say? A person was watching us? She had told me that I had said that, but I did not know what she was talking about. Had I forgotten? Do I have short term memory? No, it wasn’t that.

I’m not afraid of thunder. I’m not afraid of the dark, like what Violet thinks. What I’m afraid of is people. Too many people. Too many in the world that one has come astray into our house and started to watch us, because he has nowhere else to go, and nothing else to do. 

What if that knock on the door wasn’t Randy? What if it wasn’t Mom or Dad either? What if it wasn’t Violet, my best friend in the entire world? Or her parents either, who visited occasionally since we lived close by. What if it weren’t any of those people, the people I grew up with, lived with, and the only ones I’ve ever known in my entire life? What if it was someone different, someone I didn’t know?

Bad things are happening in the world right now, Eli. The population problem, poverty, homelessness, corrupt leaders like Neos Araceli. These are all things that scared me, the only things that threatened to ruin my peaceful life. 

And one more. 

People. Too many people that one has come astray into our house, and started to watch us, because he has nowhere else to go, and nothing else to do. Things like these haunt me for nights. Nights like these haunt me for my entire life. 

I’m not afraid of thunder. I’m not afraid of the dark. But what I’m afraid of are nights like these, especially if something very creepy happens. I don’t remember something I told Violet. I don’t recall something scary I maybe have seen. What is it? Is it out to get us? 

I don’t know, and that’s what I’m afraid of. 

Second

Multiple attacks ranging north in cities as high as Anchorage to as south as Mexico City in North America, and many other municipalities in between and all over the world. Violence and bloodshed rages on as the population problem increases greatly. Political leaders such as Neos Araceli and others are proposing a new way to keep the population problem at bay. These leaders are trying to show us that the only way for population control and to solving the population problem is mass genocide, a topic that is argued among many debates all over the world. People are starting to trust Araceli in his plans, while many are still wondering and doubting if this is the right way to do so.”

“Opinions on this new way of solving the problem ranges from highly agree to highly disagree. Many federal governments of countries are already starting to agree that genocide is the only way to saving the planet, while most others are still holding back on their answer to think if this is the right thing to do. Even if it helps our planet, it doesn’t help mankind. There are many people who disagree with genocide as the final option for humanity, believing that they can find another way. Riots and rumbles are being caused all around the world, with massive amounts of people thinking that Neos Araceli’s belief’s are wrong and disgusting, and that killing people is never the way.”

“Breaking news! On the horizon, a massive army of people are gathering in a riot in front of government buildings in North America such as the White House and Parliament Buildings, proposing that Araceli’s solution is not the way. SWAT teams are there, holding back the crowds with shields and batons. Neos Araceli makes an appearance in the crowd, and the people yell even louder.”

“Araceli suddenly raises his hand, and the SWAT teams fire! Apparently they are under control by the leader himself! Bullets race across the scene, and people start running and screaming for their lives. Huge amounts of people are being killed and falling to the ground in seconds!”

“In a few minutes the scene is cleared, and only Araceli, his troops, and the dead people he has killed remain. Here we have him make a message to all the people watching: ‘This is the only way to solving the population problem. All the suffering of mankind will be brought down when I will start my campaign across the world, and all that talk about saving the planet will be over. 

‘There is no escape to your deaths, to anybody that will be killed by me or my men in the future. There is a simple way to avoid this. Join me in my campaign. I am expecting more people to disagree with this solution than the ones who do not, so I will have lots more to kill than to not. Everybody, do not be scared of me. I am saving the world, saving humanity. Anyone who stands before me is considered a traitor to our kind, because you are against helping us. You are considered a bad human. 

‘Now the tables have reversed. Killing is good, and not doing it is not. I understand that many of you are against me because you are still stuck to the old ways, the ways you were taught to as a child. You were taught that killing is a bad thing, one of the most worst crimes that you could ever commit. But now, in this era, we’ve followed that law so much that there are not enough people dying. And so the world will come to an end of resources if too many of us fight for them. Let me end our wars, let me end our fights. 

‘I will stop all who stop me, and I will change the way people think about killing. When this is over, I assure you, that everything will be back to the same thing as it was. Killing will be wrong again. Only now, in this era, it is right because this is one of those times we desperately need to do it. Do not be afraid of me, do not think of me as one of those people who are worthy to assassinate because of genocide. Think of me as a hero, and be glad that I am doing this. Follow me, all of you, if you were ever good. If you do not, you are not good. If you may believe that you are, we know that you are wrong. 

‘You are not a good person if you do not want to save the planet. You are a good person if you do, even if that means you have to kill. Kill in order to restore the earth. Because the earth is what holds all of us, and if it is gone, what is left for us? The earth holds us, all of us, whether you like it or not. We are bound to this rock, we were born here, all we ever knew and learned was from here. Everything you’ve ever known is in a tiny blue and green rock compared to space. Earth is all that we have. If it is gone, we have nothing left. But if some of us are gone, we still have everything left. Join me in my campaign to change the world. Join me in my campaign to change history.’ ”

Neos Araceli. One of the most powerful speakers in the world. I can see him be very convincing to other people. He makes connections between his listeners, he finds their faults and weaknesses, and makes himself always sound like he’s right. But he’s not. He wants to kill billions people to save the planet, and that is never right. He’s wrong about being a bad person if you don’t join him. It’s reversed. If you do not kill, if you care about others, if you have empathy, then you are one of us. You can think like a real person. All the people that agree with Araceli have lost their surviving trait as a living person. As a species. They’re not good anymore. Nobody on the earth left is. 

As more and more people join Araceli, the world worsens in problems. The people left that are good and don’t agree with him are discriminated by the ones who do. I hear stories of families splitting apart because of this. Araceli told everyone that each of us has the choice of joining him, no matter how young you are. When half of the family does and the other half doesn’t, the consequence is separation. Families are torn apart, and their love for each other doesn’t exist anymore. Araceli is turning the world into two sides, and his is getting bigger by the day. Friends are also splitting apart from this. It’s all happening from politics and an evil leader. I just hope nothing like that happens to me or my family. 

I know we can fix this, somehow. Someone will, someone can. I will be waiting for the day that Araceli will be assassinated. He’s no better than a terrorist, even though he thinks he is. 

I’m thirteen now, still living in the country not knowing much about the outside world. The only connection I have to the outside is the TV that Araceli has taken over. He seems like a really bad man. He killed a giant amount of rioters in front of government buildings, which meant that those governments must have approved. How corrupted the world has gotten, other huge political leaders and many people are agreeing with this plan to save the world. 

Out here in the country we’re safe. At least, I hope so for the most part. I don’t want any of this genocide business. I want it to stay out of my life until I grow up, live my life and die, in the very farm that I live in right now.

Our family owns the entire farm, and we’re self-sustaining with it. We eat the vegetables we grow, we butcher our own livestock. I remember my first day when I got to see Dad butcher a lamb for us to eat. He brought me into the slaughterhouse because I really wanted to see how he killed animals for our food. 

“First, we give er’ an electric shock,” he had said. The sheep was given one, and then she went unconscious. Dad told me that fattened ones were the good ones, the ones that gave us a lot of meat. He told me that a single big cow could feed us for an entire year, but it would spoil then so he had to sell it to other people. He explained a whole bunch on farm business and butchering.

“We kill her next. She’s gonna have to die if you wanna eat her.” He stabbed a knife into the sheep’s gut. I was terrified. “Then, we slice up er’ belly.” Dad did the next step easily, but I was sick thinking about it. I’ve heard of stories from Violet that modern people living in the cities are so used to buying food from the grocery, when they get to see hands-on an animal butchered in a slaughterhouse, they get so disgusted they turn vegetarian. After seeing what they do to the animals for food, they never want to buy meat in the grocery again. For me, I love my meat, I’d never turn away from it. After the part when Dad pulled out the organs from the sheep’s belly I was disgusted, but not 

enough to turn vegetarian. 

Dad showed me how he killed chickens next. First the electric shock. Then he took a huge chopping blade, and with a surprise and a loud bang he chopped the chicken’s head right off its neck. After I saw the blood gushing with a bone sticking out, I almost threw up. 

Then he would talk more about farm business and he would tell me all about selling our massive amounts of crops and left over meat to grocery store businesses. That was when I learned that regular people, modern ones that lived in the city, got their food that way. They bought it at groceries. 

I loved that day. My dad taught me that we farmers were different from the average, we were unique. I liked being different. 

Near that time Violet was also shown how the farm worked and how animals were butchered. We learned it all at an early age, and so she also got terrified. After we shared our thoughts on our experiences. 

“Aw, that was disgusting!” I said. “Did you see the blood gushing out? Poor animal! It was terrible!”

“I know, right? My mom told me people turn vegetarian after seeing that.” 

“So, are you going to turn?”

She looked at me funny. “Of course not! I love my steak!”

“Me too,” Randy said as he came down the stairs. “Why, did you guys just recently see how animals were butchered?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Disgusting. How did you survive that, Randy?”

“I didn’t.”

Randy was older than me by two years. He’d seen what we’d seen two years ago. I remember that day, when I was very little, he was very sad and disgusted. It went like this:

“Why are you sad, big bro?”

He didn’t look at me. “I saw an animal die. Don’t bother me.”

It’s hard to bear when you’ve actually seen it yourself. If you haven’t, you don’t know what it’s like. 

“Ahh, I’ll get over it,” Violet said. “I’m not turning vegetarian.”

She got off the couch and went to the room door, checking the knob to see if it was locked. She always does that. Whenever we were indoors, she’d do that at least ten times. At least. When we would be in the kitchen, she’d always check the stove if it was on by sweeping her hand over it to feel heat. At least ten times. I’ve always asked her why, and she said she doesn’t know. 

“As usual,” Randy said as we watched her. “I still don’t understand why.”

“I can’t help it,” she said. 

“You guys wanna play outside in the wheat field?” my brother asked. 

“Sure!” Violet and I said running to race him outside. But before she went out, I saw her check if the door was locked one more time.

My brother was also two years older than Violet. We  were the same age. Randy told me when he was two Mom and Dad took him to the house that was in eyesight range in the hills. That was when Violet was born. They, including Violet’s parents Mr. and Mrs. Kenson, celebrated her birth. Later on in the year I was born, and the Kensons went to our house to celebrate my birth. The Kensons had always been close farmer friends with us, and they also lived nearby. We practically shared the farm and livestock, and basically the farm was both of ours. 

Violet would always tease me that she was older than me by a few months. I get the candy first! I’m older than Eli, give it to me first!

But it also came in handy to me too. Okay, who’s responsible for this mess? Violet, she’s older than me. She should be responsible! 

That was living the farm life. Of course, things are changing in the world, and Randy said soon our farm fields will be covered with urban cities, because overpopulation, or the term people use nowadays: the population problem, is making it so. And then there are other problems like people like Araceli, who thinks the only way out of the population problem is to reduce the living. 

That day, I hated to see that animal die. Its poor yellow eyes pleading with sadness, before it went unconscious from the electric shock, leading to its death. Then right after, I saw him being cut. Brutally dissected. And then I wondered, what if that happens to us? A human? What if there are people out there in the world that are brutal dissected like that? And I bet there are. Crazy people do this. Murderers. 

Animals are no different than us. The only thing separating us is our level of intelligence. Watching that sheep die, it would be the same if I was watching a human die. They’re the same. They’re both living things, and they’re both killed. 

Araceli is our butcher. Although not literally, he wants to kill us, kill his own people. Not for fun, not because he is crazy, but because he thinks he’s good and he thinks he’s saving the world. When in reality he’s the next mass killer. He’ll go down as one of history’s most evil people, I’ll bet. 

When I saw that animal die, taking its last glance toward the world it lived in, I saw death. And that is what Araceli wants in the world. 

In the present I was watching the news on the TV. Dad just came in through the door, and it was a very hot day because he was soaking in sweat. He took off his gardening gloves and grabbed a towel to wipe his face. 

“Did you just feed the animals?” I asked, lying on the couch. 

“Yeah. Can you tell your brother to take care of them tomorrow?”

“Why, where are you going?”

“Your mom and I are going out to the city early in the morning tomorrow. We have to do some business stuff, some house appliance errands, and�"”

“Oh,” I said. “Dad, I almost forgot to tell you, the stove’s kind of broken. It doesn’t work.”

“What? Show me.”

We went to the stove in the kitchen. I turned the knob, but no flame lit up. 

“Hmm,” Dad said, kicking it hard. “Blast it. It’s old. I have to add that to the list of things your mom and I are getting tomorrow. We’ll be home extra late then, because we have to choose one and bring it home. I’ll use the pickup truck, then. We’ll probably come back after dinner, too. So you and your brother have to chop firewood and use the roasting spit we have in the garage for your meals tomorrow. Your brother is the only one that knows how to butcher an animal and cook a meal, so can you chop the firewood? We’ll also need it for winter. I mean, it’s far from winter in this hot weather, but we’ve always needed someone to chop the firewood.”

“Of course. I’ll do it tomorrow, since we’ve already eaten dinner today. So you’re doing business stuff in the city? Does that mean Mr. and Mrs. Kenson are going with you?”

“No,” he said, pushing the stove outwards to reveal the back. “They’re packing their bags to visit their family in that big coast town in the east. You know, the little summer vacation they do every year. They’re going to stay there a few nights, have fun at the beach, stuff like that. They’re leaving tomorrow, so they can’t make the business meeting. We’re in charge of maintaining the farm.”

“Yay, a road trip for the Kensons again,” I said, as Dad and I unplugged the huge pipes that were connected from the stove to the wall. “Why don’t we ever visit family out from here, huh Dad? Or at least take a vacation somewhere else. The furthest I’ve been out into the world is the town a thirty-minute walk in the forest away from here.”

“The furthest Violet has been is the east coast town they go to every year. It’s not such a difference from you, just a couple kilometres. Help me carry this.”

I positioned my hands underneath the stove. “But still, how come we never visit family?”

“Have I ever told you why I became a farmer out here in 

the open? Lift.”

With two hands, I heaved the stove up with all my 

strength. We both lifted it, and we started dragging it to the door. “No.”

“My parents. I never loved them. They were abusive. My father was an alcoholic that was always drunk, my mother always harassed me. Nobody loved me, and I wanted to go suicidal, or at least run away. In that dark time, I managed to pull through without doing either, and I got out of the house as fast and early as possible. I never visited them ever again, and they never came in contact with me either. I don’t even know what’s happened with them. That’s when I decided I wanted none of the city life�"that’s where all the bad stuff happens, the gangs, the thugs, the crime, the alcoholics, the drug addicts, the bar fights, the kidnaps… I could go on forever. The city had it all, and I wanted none of it. I’ve always wanted to live in the country, and so here I am, after I met your mother. Her, Randy, and you are the only people in the world I love left. My older sister that I also loved committed suicide.”

We were just about carrying the stove out the door when we put it down to take a rest. “Wow, that’s dark.”

“That’s why I don’t like sharing it. 

“What about Mom?”

“Same concept, different story. Don’t ask her, it’ll drive er’ crazy.”

“Why can’t we take a vacation then?”

“Your mother and I have never been on a vacation in our lives. We don’t know what it’s like, and we don’t really want to plan one.”

“So you’ve never seen the world either?”

We continued lifting the stove to the driveway. “You’d think that I’d be old enough to at least travel some places in the world, but yes, I’ve never seen the world either. And I don’t need to. My family is here, and to me, every day here is a vacation.” 

When we laid the stove down for the last time, my arms were sore. “I’m tired, and we’re leaving early tomorrow. So I’ma go to bed. Good night Eli.”

“Good night, Dad.” I hugged him real tight. “We’ve got the animals and the crops tomorrow.”

“You always do.” He yawned and went inside the house to sleep. 

I stayed out for a bit longer, sitting underneath a tree and its shadow to watch the sunset. I’ve never missed my sunset routine. Violet didn’t either, so I knew that she was watching it from her house either outside or in her room window too. That thought was comforting. 

I brought my gaze down to the wheat field, and I saw a person’s shadow. I got creeped out for a moment, but then I immediately forgot what I was creeped out about, and I forgot what I saw. 

Instead I continued watching the sun’s rays go below the horizon. 

I saw Randy coming down our front steps. He leaned sideways on the tree above me and had his hands in his pockets, also staring at the sunset. He sometimes did. 

“You gotta feed the livestock tomorrow,” I told him.

“I know, little bro.”

“Did Dad tell you?”

“Shut up.”

That was expected. Randy wasn’t a kid anymore, he was 

always moody. Yes, he sometimes watched the sunset, but that was the old Randy. The Randy I knew now watched the 

sunset because he was upset, angry or depressed. 

I sighed. “What’s it this time?”

“Mom’s mad at me.”

“Of course.”

“Shut up.”

I stretched my arms and legs out and rested against the tree trunk. I didn’t have to ask him why, he’d always tell sooner or later. 

“I just forgot to do a lot of chores, okay?”

“Okay.”

The sun went down fully, and he turned to go back into the house. The sunset was Randy’s only stress-relief. When it was gone, it was back to stress. 

“Randy’s not gonna cook for me tomorrow,” I said to myself. “He’s gonna cook a meal fer’ himself, that’s all.  Then make some ol’ excuse for not cooking a meal for me. Even if I chop the firewood. Why’s he got so much hate?”

I stayed under the tree for a while longer, just to see the stars. My eyes soon grew heavy, and I decided to go inside. 

Everyone was already asleep. I don’t know why, but I’m always the last one to sleep. I don’t like sleeping, it’s boring. It’s not because I have insomnia or anything like that either. I only sleep when I’m tired, not because I want to wake up early the next day. And I’m usually tired around ten. 

I brushed my teeth and fell down on my bed. I was more tired than I thought, because I fell asleep that way. I dreamt of evil butcherers, angry headless chickens, and people in the shadows of wheat fields. 

Third

Naturally, I woke up before Randy. He’s a fully-fledged teen, so he always sleeps in. That’s how teens are. I didn’t want to be around him anyway, especially in the morning. He annoys me more than I annoy him. Sometimes I think that his problem is not being around people his own age. He has nobody that understands him. His only friends are me and Violet, and we’re two years younger than him. Us three are the only kids that have known each other our entire lives. 

It’s not like we haven’t seen other kids, though. When Violet and I walk to the beachside town we see tons of kids playing around. Riding bikes, eating ice cream like us, the sorts of things kids do. But we’ve never really met them and talked to them; we’re shy that way. What do you expect from us farmers? We’ve known only two other kids in our whole lives, of course we’d be shy. 

The only family Violet has in the town she visits every summer are her grandparents and uncle too, she doesn’t have any cousins her age, nor any cousins at all. 

I went to the kitchen and got cereal for myself. I didn’t want to turn on the news this morning, I just didn’t feel like it. I didn’t want to hear more killings by Araceli. 

By the time it turned noon, I was outside, splitting firewood. An early age for a job that can be dangerous, but I didn’t mind. Just splinters. I loved the feeling, the rhythm of swinging it down on a piece of wood with a thunk, and then seeing it split in two with such a smooth surface on the inside. It was so satisfying. Although the best at it was Randy. Even better than Dad. He’d never gotten hurt once, and he could slice a chunk in half with the least strikes than anybody. He was getting to be just as strong as Dad. Although he still can’t beat him in an arm wrestle. 

I had been splitting firewood all morning, but only now my arms were getting pumped. Randy was still asleep, and I really didn’t want to wake him up myself. I hated doing that, he’d get so mad at me, even though I have to because he has to make lunch. You never want to mess with a moody teenager. 

I kept splitting firewood until I heard Violet’s voice calling me. “Eli!” 

I looked around and found her. Coming down the path from her house as usual. 

She came to me looking down at her feet counting her steps. “Seventy two, seventy three, seventy four, seventy five, seventy six…”

“Um… hello?” I said. 

“Oh, I’m already here!” she said. “That was five steps below last time I came here. No, that can’t be right.” She took another five steps in a circle, coming back to me. Then we did our handshake, with the explosion at the end, of course. 

“Sorry about that,” she said scratching her head, as I continued chopping firewood. “I have to take a pill.”

“What?” I froze. “What pill?”

She swallowed a pill from the pill bottle she brought out from her pocket. 

“What’s that for? Are you sick?”

“No. I have OCD.”

My heart settled down for a moment. “Okay, good. It’s just OCD. I never knew you had OCD.”

“Really? Wasn’t it obvious?”

“How would it be obvious?”

“Every time I’m inside a room I have to check if the door is locked about dozens of times. Or I always check if the stove is on every time when I’m in the kitchen. And you didn’t notice me counting my steps on my way here?”

“I didn’t know that was OCD. I thought those were just some things you did. I thought that was just you.”

“No,” she said. 

“But you were counting your steps and then you just told me you did, so you’re definitely aware of what you’re doing. So can’t you just stop doing those things?”

“I’ve tried, but I can’t. The pills help, but I just can’t stop myself from doing it. Especially when I’m anxious or distressed, I can’t help it.”

I took all of that in for a moment. “Is it… is it hard for you?”

“Just…” she held up her hands and closed her eyes. “Just don’t worry about it for a moment. I hate it when you worry about me. That’s not why I came here.”

I frowned. “Okay… why then?”

“I’m leaving today. For a week. Yay.”

I slammed my axe down again. “I know. You wanted to say bye?”

“Yeah. Where’s Randy?” 

“Still asleep. What do you expect?”

“Okay. When he wakes tell him I said goodbye.”

“Why do you want to say bye to him?” I rolled my eyes. “He’s as annoying as a prick could get.”

“He’s my friend too! Oh, why do I bother, you guys hate each other!”

“It’s good that way,” I mumbled. 

“You guys are brothers, love each other,” she said. 

“That’s what it used to be like, now I can’t imagine doin’ that. A’mean, what’re you doin’ standing up fer’ im’? That’s not right�"”

“Stop that. It’s bothering me.”

“I’m sorry, kay? You know it happens when I’ma angry. I�"I can’t stop it from happening.”

“I defend him because he’s my friend.”

“I understand, I’ma cool down now.” I took a deep breath.

“Why does that happen?” she asked. 

“Sorry, you know this always happens when I’m mad.” I exhaled again. “I’m done out here. Want a drink inside?”

We went in the house, and I locked the door. I watched Violet try to fight her convulsion to check if it was. “The door is locked, the door is locked…” she repeated, then relaxed. “The doctor says I have to fight my convulsions every day if I want to stop it. The pills really help.”

“Wow, that must be hard.” I began pouring two glasses of lemonade in the kitchen while she was still at the front door. 

“I said don’t worry about it.” She stayed still for a while, and I watched in silence. “Oh, who am I kidding.” She went to check if the door was locked. I felt sorry.

“Here,” I handed her the glass of lemonade. 

“It’s getting worse, I have to check the stove.”

She took a sip then ran to the kitchen with the glass. It was only a few seconds before I heard the glass being

dropped and the sound of it breaking on the floor. I cringed, then went to the kitchen. 

“No no no no no…” she was staring at the empty space where our stove used to be, shaking. “W-where’s your stove?” 

I grabbed a broom and started sweeping the mess. “It broke down. Why?”

“I have to check… I… I always do this when I come over. I have to do it.”

“Shoot. It’s my fault.”

“Wh-why would it be your fault?”

“I was the one who found out it was broken, and I told my Dad. He’s going to buy a new one.”

She closed her eyes tight and tried to relax her shaking. “Okay, I gotta go. But wait… I have to tell you something.”

I stopped sweeping. 

“Araceli is giving the choice to everyone to join him. Even you. You have the chance to join him, if you want. There’s an event tomorrow, and everybody’s going. Your parents are probably going. It’s happening everywhere, cargo ships from Araceli are traveling to every city and an event will occur where he will gather anybody who agrees with his solution. Anybody who stays…” Her voice shook.

“What happens to them?”

“I don’t know. Just… you remember when I told you my parents named me before they found out I had violet eyes?”

“Yeah.” I’d always known that. “The point is…?”

“The point is that they took a risk. Take risks, Eli.”

“Are you saying I should join Araceli?”

“I’m saying if you choose to,” she said, still not stopping her shivering. “But please, don’t.”

“I wasn’t planning to.”

“I have to go. There’s a stove at my house. You better get a new stove, or else I can’t come here anymore.”

It’s just a stove. “Okay, okay.”

She winced in pain and grabbed her forehead. “I can’t take this much longer. I have to go. Bye Eli, and tell Randy I said bye.”

“Okay,” I said, even though I wasn’t going to do it. “Violet… have a nice vacation. I’m sorry.” 

“You never knew I had a disorder,” she said knowing I was referring to the stove. “It’s not your fault, Eli.”

With that she went out the door. I stood there feeling sorry, watching her walk the path back to her house, and from here I could listen to her counting her steps. 

One, two, three, four, five…

I wish I could help.

Randy finally woke up soon after Violet’s visit. He came down the stairs, rubbing his eyes, and seeing me sweeping a mess of glass on the floor. 

He looked confused. “Was Violet just here?”

“No.”

He sighed. “You’re such a terrible liar. You’d never drop a glass of lemonade.”

“Maybe I could have.”

“Only if you were Violet.”

“Stop it!” I said. “You don’t know what she’s going through!”

“OCD, I know. She told me.”

She told Randy before me? 

“She said it all started after that night you told her someone was watching you guys.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you do. After you said someone was watching you two, she became super paranoid about safety. That’s why she always, always has to check the door if it’s locked at least a dozen times a day, and she always has to check if the stove is on or not. It started as a paranoid act, but it turned into an obsession and now she has OCD. It was after that night, I’m telling you. You’re the one who started it.”

I couldn’t believe this. I started shaking. “How… how can I trust you?”

“If you ask her, she’ll tell you,” he continued. “She said she doesn’t want to tell you because you’ll think she’s being super paranoid and scared, and because she knows it will hurt you. She doesn’t want to hurt you.”

Oh boy, it hurt me way more than what Randy probably expected. 

“You jerk. She prob’ly told you to keep’t secret, huh?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. I tell the truth, not lies.”

It’s my fault, and I don’t even remember. I don’t remember what I saw that night. I want to remember so bad. So bad. 

“I don’t wanna talk t’ya anymore.” There it is again. My flustered accent. I balled up my fists in anger. I wish I could stop it. 

I fled upstairs. After lying down on the bed, I stayed there for so long I fell asleep and took a nap. 

When I woke up, I was wrong. Randy did cook me a meal, and he put the plate on my bedside table. He thinks 

he’s fulfilled himself. What a prick. 

I didn’t eat it.  

I succumbed to it later when hunger took over. When Mom and Dad came home late in the evening, Randy and I helped with the new stove. I hope this makes you happy, Violet. It was really late at night. Dad wanted us to sleep because tomorrow we were going to the event in the city. 

“What event?” Randy asked. 

“You know, the one where Araceli is gathering all the people that want to join him. He’s taking them in ships and I have no idea where they’re going.”

Violet was right, my parents were going. “Why are we going?” I asked. “None of us are going to join.”

“Everybody is,” Mom said. “We just have to be there.”

“I’ve never seen a city,” Randy said. 

“Well then, there you go, Eli,” Dad told me. “This is the furthest you’ll ever be away from home. It’s just going to be like a few hours, and the farm will take care of itself.”

I still didn’t want to go, but hey, everybody was going. Even though it was pointless. None of us agreed with Araceli’s solution. 

“Why is everybody going?” I asked. 

“I assume because they want to join him,” Dad said. “They’re all stupid. If they do join there won’t be any good people left in the world.”

A bad human is a non-human. If so many people wanted to join Araceli, that made them bad people. What made them a person if they wanted to kill? Since they’re all bad people, they wouldn’t be people at all. They’re aliens to us. They’re different. The first step they take into joining this genocidal campaign would make them non-humans. It 

would make them alien to our planet. 

So if massive amounts of the entire population joined him, and the ones who don’t are so few, that would make us the only good people left in the world. But not just good people, the only humans too. Because everybody else is an alien. 

What made us different from the ones who would join Araceli tomorrow? Our opinion. That’s all that it really was. The border between us was a thinking between right and wrong. If the whole world except for us thought that genocide was good, then wouldn’t that make our opinion bad? If so many people now agree to the bad, thinking that it’s the good, then that means the ones left that are so few in numbers are the evil ones? 

Basically what I’m trying to say is that our entire population determines right and wrong because of society. After all, we are taught by society to determine between it. It’s basically how many people that agree on one side that makes the standards. There are so many of us that think killing is bad, and the only ones that think it’s good are the murderers. But then, what if the entire world were murderers? Then that is the new opinion of society. Anyone who thought murdering is bad would be treated like a murderer is treated today.  

Araceli is doing something nobody’s ever done before. He’s changing the view of genocide. He’s making people seem like only now it’s a good thing to do because it would help and maybe save the planet and its limited resources. So now, since most of the world think it’s a good thing, the ones that don’t are considered the evil ones. We’re the bad ones because we don’t want to take part in this genocide, we don’t want to take part in saving the planet. And that’s what makes them think of us as bad people. They view us the same way they new a murderer now. 

But we still view them as the bad ones, because they want to kill, and killing is never good. Sometimes, you have to make a sacrifice for the greater good. In this case, killing billions of people to save the planet. But that’s too large of a sacrifice. Billions of innocent people�"or not, you never know who might be murderers�"were going to get killed. That’s not a sacrifice, that’s genocide. 

That’s how society throughout history was always based on the opinion of the majority. If your parents raised you thinking that killing was good, would you think it’s good? Obviously, you would. You were raised that way. You were taught as a young child that it’s okay to do it, in fact, it’s good to do it. 

Now imagine if the entire world was like that. So basically, since everyone thinks killing is good, there’s nobody who thinks it’s not, since we’re all taught that way. 

But think about how there are always going to be people that stand out, that don’t follow the rules. Just because they have a different opinion, they are discriminated by society. What if in that alternate dimension where killing was good, one person stood up, a person like Neos Araceli, and suddenly said that killing wasn’t good? Do you think society would hate him? Of course. The majority always wins, even if the majority is wrong. 

That’s basically what’s happening in our world, except  our opinions are reversed. And Neos Araceli is still being discriminated, because he’s still on the opposite side. But again, he’s done something nobody’s ever done before, something that’s nearly impossible. He’s changing society’s opinion. Now, since he’s doing such a good job of switching everybody’s view, the world is going to turn into the alternate dimension that I always think of. Everybody is going to think killing is good, and guess who’s not going to think that. 

Us. The good people left in the world. The only people left in the world, since everybody is alien to us. When Araceli successfully changes the view of the world on genocide, we’re going to be the discriminated ones. We’re going to be the new Araceli. We’re going to be the ones mistreated.

Just because we have a different opinion. One that society doesn’t agree on. 

That’s what made me think, all those people in history that committed genocide, they only stand out because they don’t agree with society; they don’t agree with the majority. But if it was reversed, they would be considered heroes. And we would be the ones considered as bad as the genocidal campaigners today. 

That thought terrifies me. 

Is this really what the world was going to become? A place with corruption and evil? 

But wait, no. If the majority agrees that the evil is the good, then it must not be evil, right? 

That’s the way the world works. That’s the way it has always worked. And that way is not the right way. 

No matter what, I’m going to stay to my opinion. I’m going to trust it, too. I know that what I think is right. Not because I’ve been taught that way. Because in my heart I know that people don’t want to be killed, and I only serve 

for the good of the people. 

But I’m still not sure if my opinion is right. All my thoughts are blurring the line between right and wrong. 

So, am I right?

I don’t know, and that scares me. I need a light of guidance. I want the truth. I want to know what is actually the right thing to believe.

But that’s the whole point on opinions. It’s what you believe. Not what others think. 

But I don’t know what I believe, and that’s the thing. What if my parents and brother join Araceli? Will that change my opinion? I know for sure I would go with them if they went, and that scares me because it proves that I also have become a person with beliefs based on the majority of society. 

No, I will not go with them. I know that killing is not right. Violet, I choose not to join Araceli. Sometimes you don’t want to take risks. I hope you don’t join him either. And I’m sorry about the stove. It’s my fault. 

I might not know the truth, but I have my opinion. And that’s all that matters. 

But my brother thinks he tells the truth, not lies. He thinks his opinion is right, but I don’t know if it is yet, or what his opinion even is. I’ll have to wait and see tomorrow.

“You’re right, Dad. If everyone joins there won’t be any good people in the world left,” Randy said. 

“That’s my boy.” Dad put him in a headlock and gave him a noogie. 

“Ow!” my brother said. 

I got a sense of relief when he said that. So everybody 

was on the good side. Nobody wanted to join Araceli. I know for a fact that Mom never would, I know that for sure. I don’t even have to ask her, I just knew she’d never agree on genocide. 

I looked at her, and she shook her head. I was right.

“C’mon Eli, you have to go to bed. It’s really late,” she said. As usual. Although I noticed she only said that to me, and not to Randy. 

I groaned. “Okay.” 

We went inside, and Mom and Dad went right to sleep after a rough day of work and business. Before I went upstairs, I stood at a window watching the sunset. I never miss it. 

Randy was there too. He just appeared, not saying a word. It was just like yesterday. 

I found the silence not comforting at all. Even though we’ve been brothers since forever, and I knew his exact thoughts without having to talk, I still didn’t find it comforting.  I found the courage to speak. “Has… has Mom forgiven you yet?”

Are you talking about the chores? Haven’t you seen me do them all day? “No, I guess not.”

A moment of silence passed before he said, “I mean, why do you care anyway, little bro? You’re so annoying.”

Don’t get angry. “I’m annoying?”

“Sometimes I just want to kill you.”

You’re lying, I can hear it in your voice. “You don’t mean that, do you?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he said, “Good night,” and went upstairs. 

Again, I was the last one to sleep. I stayed until I saw the 

stars, and I knew Violet was watching too. I walked over to the kitchen and saw the new stove waiting to be connected to the pipe on the wall. It was just sitting there, stainless steel, looking as simple as ever. And yet it was something Violet needed to function, and if she didn’t do her ritual in checking if the fire was on, she’d have a mental breakdown. 

I touched it, closed my eyes, and exhaled, tired. I’m done splitting firewood. 

When I finally went upstairs, brushed my teeth, and crashed in my bed, I found out I was more exhausted than ever. Good. I didn’t want to spend my energy on Araceli’s event.

But something kept me up for a while. I don’t know what it was, but I started crying, silently. Just a few tears, that’s all. I didn’t want anyone to know I was having a mental breakdown, too. The thing that scared me was that I didn’t know what it was. What was wrong with me? 

I was trying to find an answer. Maybe it was because of Violet? Maybe it was Randy? What have I ever done to him, anyway? He had said sometimes he just wanted to kill me.

I bet you would too, Randy. I bet you would. 

Fourth

I did not want to get up today. 

I was forced to, anyway. Dad pulled the covers off me when I wanted to sleep in.

“C’mon, Dad.” I groaned. 

“We’re leaving at nine!” he said enthusiastically.

  We left a bit later than that, because of Randy who also wanted to sleep in. Of course. 

We got in the car. It was going to be like a two hour drive to our nearest city. I’ve only ever been inside our car like two times in my life. They were also both probably when I was a baby. It’s been so long, I didn’t even know how to buckle my seat belt. 

“Um…” I cleared my throat. “Randy?”

He grabbed the seat belt and slammed it on the buckle. 

“Thanks,” I mumbled, not really meaning it. I never meant anything I said to Randy, and that included the bad things too. He’s my brother, and I love him, no matter what. I would never say anything like what he said last night to him. 

As we drove on, I saw the highway for the first time, and I saw all the cars speeding by, knowing that we were one of them. We haven’t drove that far yet and I already see all this modern stuff. Was Randy going to be right about our farm being taken over by urbanization? 

I watched everything go by, trees, forests, cars, fences, fields, hills, even the yellow dashes in the road. I opened the window and heard the sounds and smells, too. The rushing wind, the fast cars, it was the first time in my life but I felt like it was so familiar to me. 

We drove mostly in silence, but later I got bored. I said, “Mom, Dad, why are we going if we’re not agreers?”

“You already asked that question,” she said. 

“It’s a fair choice to everybody,” Dad said. “We have to at least respect that. We only have to go there.”

“It’s probably because your boss wants you to go, huh?” Randy asked. 

“Yes, okay, maybe our business manager said that. But even then we’d still have the choice, and we chose to go.”

“It could be dangerous,” I said. The gangs, the thugs, the crime, the alcoholics, the drug addicts, the bar fights, the kidnaps… I could go on forever. The city had it all, and I wanted none of it.

“Nah, we’ve been there lots of times,” Mom said. “It’ll be fine. Our only problem is paying for parking.”

Dad laughed. “If we even find any at all, with all the people that are going to be packed in that one area.”

“Why so many people?” I asked. 

“Do you know how many people have turned to Araceli?” Mom said. “How corrupt the world has been lately.”

“I heard the governments of almost all the countries in the world are joining his campaign,” Randy threw in. 

North America would never join. We’re too democratic and nice for that. “What about America?” I asked. 

“For the most part, yes, they’ve agreed,” Mom said. “That doesn’t mean all the people there agree, don’t worry.”

“And what about…” I gulped. “Here?”

“Canada?” Dad said. “Still heavily debated. But I think 

they said they were going to agree. If they haven’t yet, it’s only a matter of time.”

My hopes sank. We’re going to take part in this genocide?

“Don’t get yer’ hopes down, bud,” Dad said. “It’s not bout’ the higher power peoples decisions that affect ours. For all we know, only the federal government gave approval but everybody else in this entire nation didn’t.”

He could be right. I felt much better. 

Nations decided on groups as a whole, but maybe the groups don’t agree. Maybe not many people want to join Araceli, but the huge political leaders and higher power peoples want to, and thy make all of us seem like we want to. A nation’s true feelings are masked by the feelings of its leader. Because the leaders are the ones who represent its leaders. 

We arrived at the outskirts of the city, and I took a glance at all the skyscrapers and buildings. They were massive. How could that many people live in once place like that?

We passed by restaurants and stores, pedestrians and cars. I wasn’t too fond of any of it, I almost felt uncomfortable. I slouched back in my seat to hide myself from all the people. 

Too many people. Too many.

The world has changed from what it began. There was no more alone. You were never alone in the world now. 

Soon we arrived at the main plaza of the city, and there was a huge, noisy crowd there. Everybody was united, they all had one purpose here. I tried to grasp the meaning of that. This many people wanted to join Araceli? Or is this a joke of some sort?

Dad dropped us off in the square and told us he would find parking somewhere.

“How are you going to find us?” Mom asked him.

“I’ll call you or something.”

“That’s not enough,” Randy said, and for once I agreed. He also looked uncomfortable in a place like this, with so many people. Maybe that was why he made his statement. 

“How about this will be our meeting spot?” Dad suggested. I could barely hear him over the noise. “If I don’t come back here within thirty minutes, it means I still didn’t find parking, I had to go to the washroom, or something’s happened to me.”

“Nothing will happen to you, don’t be paranoid,” Mom said. “We might be surrounded by supporters of Araceli but the city’s not as evil as it used to be.”

Dad shrugged. “Okay. You guys go join the crowd, bye.”

When he left, I got that feeling you always got when a family member wasn’t there with you. You don’t feel complete. 

“C’mon, let’s go,” Randy urged, almost like he was excited for this.

Following the crowd, we made our way into the plaza where we waited for a bit. It was still very noisy with that many people in here, and I wasn’t used to it at all. 

We stayed there for about half an hour. Mom was getting worried, and she told us she’d try to look for Dad. 

“No, he’s probably fine,” I told her. 

“No, I’m still worried. You guys are old enough to stay here on your own. I’ll come back, I promise.”

She left, and that left me thinking again that my parent’s parenting wasn’t the best. They left us alone a lot, even in the city. It was fine to me, nothing was going to happen to us.

After a while, I looked at Randy and said, “Why are there so many people?”

“It’s a city.”

“But surely all these people aren’t going to join Araceli, right? There has to be more good people in the world than this.”

“I don’t think there are as many as you think.”

“That’s ridiculous. If everybody joins him, who will there be to kill? He’ll have to start killing off his own followers, and that will defeat the purpose of us surviving this mess.”

“We’re not going to pull through this one way or another, the world is doomed,” he said. 

“Thats going to happen if everybody believes that.”

“Even if nobody believes the world is doomed it’s still going to die.”

I frowned. “Do you actually believe that?”

“It’s called an opinion, little bro.” He gazed at the floor. “Even if that’s what I think will happen, it doesn’t mean I want that to happen. It’s fine, little bro, believe what you want.”

“But you said opinions don’t matter. We don’t change the outcome based on what we believe. Even if we don’t want something to happen, that opinion won’t change whether it will happen or not. It’s only what we want, not what will actually happen.”

“You’re wrong. Opinions change everything. Why do you think what is happening right now is happening?”

“You’re right,” I admitted. “If we don’t want something 

to happen, we will do something to make sure it happens the way we want it to. So our opinion can change the outcome if we work towards it.”

“That doesn’t mean it works every time,” he said. 

“Yes it does.”

“No, it doesn’t. You don’t always get what you want, little bro. Keep dreaming.”

The crowd started roaring louder, and Randy and I focused our attention to the podium where government officials appeared, representatives for Araceli because he was off in another place. 

“We’re too far,” Randy said, trying to stand on tiptoes to get a better view, even though he was like as tall as the majority of adults here. “I’ma get closer, your choice to follow or not.”

He went in the crowd before he could hear me say, “Wait, Randy, no!” and leaving me to think once again that he was such a wretch. 

I have to follow him, I have to follow him, he can’t just leave me alone out here. I tried to follow him but he went through the bustling crowd fast. I struggled to keep sight of him, not looking where I was going, which lead me to accidentally bump into an older girl. 

“Ouch! Watch where you’re going!”

“Sorry,” I said, still trying to look for Randy. I’ve lost him in the crowd. He just left me here. How could he do that?

“Hello? Are you listening?”

“Yes,” I said, finally making eye contact. “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m just worried for you, kid. Keep an eye out, you could’ve bumped into someone who 

could’ve taken it harsher.”

“Okay, thanks,” I said as she left. Then I looked down and saw that she dropped her phone on the ground. I picked up the device and looked around. I saw her leaving the crowd. 

“Miss! You dropped your phone!” It was too late. She was gone. I didn’t have time to find her again, and I’d rather find Randy. 

I started at the unfamiliar piece of technology in my hands. I’ve never used a phone. It would be bad to just throw it away. So I tucked it in my shirt pocket and continued looking for Randy. 

I soon found him at the near end of the crowd, leaning forward on the upstage podium. 

“There you are,” I said. “Can you not do that again?”

He wasn’t listening, just looking up at the sky in awe. I followed his stare and saw what he was seeing. A colossal flying aircraft carrier swooping in over city blocks, too big to go in between. It was so giant it blocked the sun and casted a huge shadow over the entire city. 

“Please tell me that’s not Araceli’s warship,” I said. 

“It was the military’s,” Randy said, “now it’s his. He controls the authorities now. Remember the SWAT teams that killed off people in that riot?”

“Of course I do.”

“Ceremony’s starting. Look, they’re lowering the platform and people are already starting to walk in.”

“This is going to carry all of his followers?”

“No, this is a freight carrier. He probably has a way bigger one that carries around five billion people or something. Remember, he’s expecting billions to join him.”

People filed in the giant carrier for what seemed like hours. They dragged their luggage behind them, they carried their bags. I saw children walking with their families onto the ship. Children. I was disgusted. 

Soon the crowd cleared until we were next. 

“C’mon, Randy, let’s go. We’re not joining.” I turned around and reached out to grab his arm but felt nothing when I saw him moving toward the aircraft. 

“What are you doing!?” I hissed at him.

He looked at me with sorry eyes. “I’m joining him. That was my choice. From the start.”

“Nice joke, Randy. Let’s go.”

“I’m serious, you’ve always known I’ve been a believer of Araceli’s opinions.”

“But not this campaign. I thought you drew the line at that.”

“No, this campaign too. This is the way the world ends, we have to stop it.” He stared at the ground for a moment.

I didn’t know what to say.

Randy?

Yes brother?

You want to take part in this madness?

Yes, brother. 

I heard my brother respond to me, even if none of us said a single word. We were brothers that way.

“Big bro,” I said sadly. “You said last night that no good people were left in the world if everybody joins. Why… why would you say that if you’re one of the people joining?”

“I’m sorry little bro, but…” he paused. “When did I ever say that I was good?”

With that he looked at me again with sad eyes, and then turned to follow the thousands of people that were all like him. Tricked. Brainwashed. Lied to. All of them were selfish, including my brother. But I couldn’t even say I couldn’t believe this was happening, because my brother was right, I’ve always known he had the same opinions as Araceli. It just never occurred to me that he would actually think of joining him as an option. 

If I ever see you again you selfish prick, I will smash your face onto the ground so hard, it won’t be you who would cry, it would be the concrete. Because you’d be dead. 

Calm down, brother. It’s my choice. 

I heard his voice, even if he was already inside the carrier. I am disgusted by you, you’re a disgrace to us, you’re an alien. You were never a good person, you were never a human.

I’m your brother. 

And that is why I am disgusted. 

By now practically everybody who wanted to get on that aircraft had gotten on. It was depressing how very few people were left. They were staying there, crying at their loved ones saying goodbye because they went with Araceli. 

I shook my head as I walked away. I have to find Mom and Dad. Where are they?

As I walked further away, I heard yelling from an officer. I whipped my head back to see one mother pleading to an officer to bring her child back out of the carrier. 

“Please, calm down officer. I just want to find my child in there. He’s five years old.”

The officer controlled his rage and put a hand to his forehead. I couldn’t see his expression, his eyes were covered by a black visor. “Did the child choose to join miss, or did he get lost and wandered in accidentally?”

The mother gulped. “He chose to go in, sir. But I don’t want to allow it. I want to take him back. Just let me in and let me find him!”

“Araceli gives the choice to everyone. I’m afraid it’s not possible for you do that, miss.”

“But please, can this be an exception?” The mother had tears. “I want my son back. My selfish husband can join Araceli for all I care, but he took my son with him.”

“But you said the son made the choice, miss. You can’t take him back if he wants to go.”

“Please, officer!”

Everybody was watching. Including me. I was pretty far away, but I could still hear what was happening. Has the world gone insane to let this kind of thing happen? What was Araceli doing to society? He’s ruining it, not saving it. 

I saw the officer put a hand to an earpiece. He’s getting a message. I couldn’t hear it. He made a scowl as the message went on longer and longer, and I got worried. No, I got scared. 

“New orders!” The officer yelled to his comrades around him. “Araceli wants every disagreer to be taken. Every bad person in the world shall be hunted. Anyone who tries to run, disobey, or show threat gets killed!”

And with that, he pulled out a gun from his holster lightning fast and shot the woman pleading for her child. 

Then the city descended into chaos. 

People started screaming, horrified at what they just saw. Crowds started to run, before being killed by the officers. Everybody caught in the centre who were too scared to even move a finger were trapped and taken prisoners onto the freight ship. 

I couldn’t move myself. I was too horrified. Meanwhile everyone around me was moving. Every bad person in the world shall be hunted. 

There were too many screams and too many bullets firing. Finally, I came out of my shock and dove behind the nearest trash can, covering my ears as I heard a spray of bullet fire. No, no, no, this can’t be happening. I need to find Mom and Dad now, and hope they’re okay. They’re going to wonder the same for me.

This pandemonium was happening everywhere in the city, I was sure of it. Every armed officer hunting all the people running. Only the ones who were helpless were taken prisoner. They were the rules of chivalry. Completely defenceless people were prisoners, not killed. 

I saw too many dark things. Blood was spilled from bullets raining on innocent people, grenades were exploding, officers were beating down people with batons. Araceli’s genocide was starting. I just didn’t know it would happen here. I didn’t know it would happen right after his ceremony. 

Maybe this was happening everywhere, too. All over the world. In every country where the government agreed to his plan. It was a total surprise, a prefect chance for him to strike. Soon there will be no more good people left. All of them will be hunted down and killed brutally, just for having a different opinion. Society will be burned to the ground. 

Luckily, I was really far away from where the main commotion happened. I made it into an underground parking lot, being really scared that a bullet would just come out of nowhere and hit me. 

I wandered through the dark, eerie and empty parking lot, hearing the screams of people outside, and more bullets being fired. It was a mistake coming here. It was a mistake coming to the city. This was nothing anybody imagined when they came to the ceremony.

I got even more lucky when I found Mom and Dad in the parking lot, and I almost cried as I ran up to them and hugged them. 

“Eli!” Mom said, bearing tears as she embraced me. “We know what’s happened. The whole city is going crazy. We have to get outa here.”

“Where’s Randy?” Dad asked, looking worried. 

“He…he joined Araceli.” I revealed. 

“What?” Dad said. “No…”

And then right at that moment, I felt that feeling again. When your family is incomplete. I felt a surge of longing, right there I really wanted my brother back. No matter how much he hates me, no matter how many things he’d done. I wanted him back. We were all in this together. I wanted him with us, especially during a time like this. He wasn’t safe until he was with us. He’d never be safe. 

“I’m going to get him back,” I said suddenly, surprising myself. “Yeah, I’ma go get him back. Mom, Dad, go home. I’m going to get Randy.”

“You can’t be serious,” Mom said. “You know we’d never let you go.”

“I have to. Please. I want to bring him back. He just made a mistake, okay? I know he doesn’t really agree with Araceli. Don’t worry, I’m going to be fine. I’m going to 

surrender and be a prisoner.”

“I’m not letting you take that risk, Eli. They’ll shoot you. And even if you manage to get him back, we’ll be gone by then. You won’t have a ride.”

“I’ll think of something, Dad. Please, the ship is going to leave soon. We can’t let Randy leave, our family will never be the same. Look, desperate times call for desperate measures. We have to get him back. You can’t just let this happen. I can do it, Dad. Please, let me do this.”

Dad gave in and sighed. Mom did too, because she said, “Eli, if you are to do this, please…” she cracked up. “Please bring our son home. I know he’s a good person.”

I nodded. “Promise me you two will make it home alive.” 

They didn’t respond, only looked at the ground. 

“Promise me!” I yelled, choking tears. 

“We promise, Eli,” Dad finally said. “We’re going to make it home. Alive.”

I nodded. That was what I wanted to hear. “I’ll see you again, with Randy.”

I turned and started for the exit. As I did, I heard Mom wailing for her son behind me. 

“Oh, Randy… why? My son, he’s left us, he’s dead. The person who replaced him, the one who joined Araceli, is not my son. Randy would never do that. Never. Randy is dead.”

I closed my eyes and felt tears pouring out, because I couldn’t have agreed more. 

Mom was just like the mother pleading for her child that got shot. But this time, Mom wasn’t going to die, and I was going to bring Randy home. 

By the time I got outside, it had turned dark. Drones 

were flying around, searching the city for more rebels. Helicopters flew overhead skyscrapers, shining their spotlights. Guards, officers, and SWAT teams were roaming the streets. I was the last one. Everyone else was dead, on the ground. 

The ship hasn’t left yet. I felt a huge surge of relief. I was going to do this. I can do this. 

Then, I stepped into the spotlight. I instantly raised my hands. 

Every guard in the vicinity aimed their guns at me, all surprised. I got extremely nervous, all of them pointing weapons that can end my life. But nobody shot, and I exhaled. 

“Please, don’t hurt me. Take me prisoner,” I said. 

The leader made a signal for everybody to put their guns down, and I relaxed. He came towards me, eyeing me up and down. They all had cold expressions, wearing dark visors over their eyes. And they all surrounded me. There was no turning back. I could only hope that Mom and Dad were safe. 

“You made the right choice, kid,” the officer said, bringing me to my knees by pushing my shoulder down, and placing hand-cuffs. 

As I took one last look around the city, I have never felt more sadness. There were countless dead bodies, much destruction, and the streets were now taken over by the same helicopters searching with spotlights, drones aiming their red light beams, and guards walking around with their firearms. The city was in chaos, but now it’s in shambles. If Mom and Dad made it out alive, I was the only one left. The only human left in the city. The guards didn’t count, 

because they were bad people. They were non-humans. 

This was it. Araceli’s genocide campaign has begun. It’s happening all over the world, I was sure of it. Even in the city Violet is in. 

Oh Violet… 

I’m sorry. I’m going on Araceli’s warship, the exact thing you didn’t want me to do. But I have to get my brother back. I hope you’re safe. Please, be safe for me. 

The city was lonely, no good people left with life but me. It was a ghost city now. The world was once a happy place, and it stayed that way until now. Opinions changed the world. They changed everything. Society was split into two sides, and soon it will go back to one when all humans left in the world are dead. The good humans. The bad ones are alien to this planet. 

We’re being hunted, because of our opinion. It’s either join Araceli or die, because apparently dying would make you a hero, because you are helping the world. 

How messed up this world has become.

Randy, I’m coming for you.

Fifth

They took me to a conference room. Thrashed me around. Beat me up. So much pain was in stock for me, I wondered how I got here in the first place. 

They captured me. No, I chose to go here. I chose this fate. 

I didn’t see anybody else but the guard that beat me up, and I couldn’t have possibly known where I was because they gagged and put a blindfold on me. This worried me, because if they sent prisoners to a different place other than where my brother was going, how was I supposed to bring him back?

Oh, I’ve messed up so badly, thinking that I could do this. I should’ve just stayed with my parents. I miss them. I miss home. I didn’t want this, why am I here? Why did I choose this? I can’t do anything, they’ve got me trapped. How did I think I could do this? 

A few days passed, and I still couldn’t do anything. I was always hand-cuffed, always gagged, always beaten. Whenever the guard came in the cell I could only hope that he wasn’t going to hit as hard this time. I thought being a prisoner would mean staying in my cell, but no, they beat me up everyday. 

I couldn’t even keep track of time, but they beat me up every so often that it felt like twenty-four hours between each, so I used that as a tracker. They’ve only beaten me twice now, so I predicted that was how many days I’ve been in custody. 

The third day is when I knew I couldn’t take it. I would die this time, I was sure. I had no strength left. I was already gone, anyway. I couldn’t do anything in here. When the guard came, the possibility of me dying hit me, and I suddenly had a heart attack, my life flashed before my eyes, I could see the afterlife already. 

So I struggled hard, trying to rip free of my cuffs and my gag. I had to get out. I didn’t want to die. 

But the guard didn’t strike. He only brought information. 

“I know who you are.”

I stopped struggling, and started to realize that the person in front of me was no ordinary officer. It was Neos Araceli. 

I felt cold. Such a dangerous enemy stood before me, I was overwhelmed. Right then and there I knew I was done. I really couldn’t do anything. 

“You have a brother here, don’t you? Randy?”

I couldn’t even speak. I was gagged.

“Oh yes, he told me all about you,” he said. “How you’re a disagreer. Do you think I’m a person that likes people that threaten the world?”

I couldn’t say anything, and it’s not like I wanted to either. I was thought of as a person that hated the planet. A bad guy. This time, other than any other story, I was the bad guy. It didn’t make sense at all. I didn’t do anything wrong. Why was I being blamed?

“Randy told me all about your neighbours, too. We have them.”

What was he talking about?

“The Kenson family, isn’t it?”

I couldn’t breathe. They had them too. I was right, this was happening everywhere. And nobody expected it. 

Suddenly, one side of the room vanished to reveal a glass wall. On the other side were Violet’s parents, also gagged and blindfolded. They were struggling to get free. A guard cocked a gun and pointed it at them, ready to fire. I hated it. They were going to die and they didn’t even know it. They couldn’t see. 

“There’s one thing I do to all my prisoners before they die,” Araceli said. “It’s kind of an OCD thing. I love doing it.”

Like he had any idea what they’re going through.

“I always make them feel the worst they can before they die. I want them to feel terrible. Because you people are evil. I offered a chance to join me to save the planet, and you did not take it. I never hid the fact that I was going to kill all disagreers. I said a clue in all my messages. You people think you are safe, you think that my campaign is just a political one to save humanity.”

He shook his head. “No, this is the start of something new. Something different. I control the world now, don’t you see? I have everyone on my side, and for good purpose. Don’t you see that they’ve all joined me because I am the good one? The world wouldn’t follow an evil person, would it? No, because now they see that you are the evil ones. And all of you must die.”

At that word, the guard in the other room shot Violet’s parents. One bullet each. 

I didn’t even react. There was no point. I couldn’t do anything. I was helpless. 

“Before they died I told them that their daughter was killed,” the dark and evil man who stood before me said. “They couldn’t handle the news. Oh well, now they’re dead. That’s too bad. Don’t feel any sadness. This is for the good. Their deaths contributed to saving this planet. ”

I couldn’t help but think that Araceli was pure evil. He didn’t care about us at all, because he killed us. If his genocide killed mankind, who was left to use the planet that we saved? 

We are the killers of the planet. But yet we use it, we live on it. So the backwards and twisted way of solving the problem was killing us. But then we would waste ourselves, and save a planet with none of us left. That’s why there was no solving the population problem without having a solution people will disagree on. It’s impossible to solve. 

“That was how I made them feel terrible before they died,” Araceli continued. “For you, I’m going to make their daughter think that you killed them. And then for her, make her think that her best friend in the world killed them.”

Oh no. I didn’t like the sound of that. I have to get out of here. I have to find Randy and get him out, like I originally planned, and now Violet too. 

But Randy has turned. He’s evil now. I can’t do anything about that. I have to find Violet then, and tell my parents that Randy is at the point with no return. 

But I couldn’t do either. I had no way of getting out of my cuffs and chains. I was practically trapped. Nobody could save me now. I’m going to die.

“She doesn’t know where we are, either,” Araceli said. “We found her separated from her parents, then brought her here the same way as you. Actually, your brother found her. And he told her that you killed her parents. Tsk tsk. She has no choice but to believe, when she gets here and sees.”

That’s when I couldn’t take it anymore. I struggled hard. 

I can break my chains. I have to, if I want to live. 

Araceli watched me in disapproval. “You can’t escape, don’t you know that? You’re going to die.”

I stopped struggling. He was right. I couldn’t do anything. Nothing at all. And the worst part was that I got myself into this mess. It was my fault. I chose to go here, when I could’ve just went with Mom and Dad. Why didn’t I? Did I really think I could convince my brother to go back? He already made his choice. It was my brother that I thought I could convince. My brother. 

I just sat there, watching the guard put Violet’s parents in body bags. Pretending that someone else killed them, not them. Me. Of course Araceli would make it me. I supposedly killed them. Or it would look like that when Violet came. 

“You are not alone on this one, Eliwin. I do this to all my prisoners. Torture them with feelings and physical pain. I only have a few prisoners now, and I will do all of this to them, too. And when they run out, we take no more prisoners. We kill everybody else we find then. There will be billions, so we can’t take any prisoners. Even the helpless, we kill. The old, we kill. And the young? As in as early as not even a year old?”

He stared at me with cold eyes. I feared for his answer.

“We kill.”

He waited until I took that in for a moment, and then said, “I have to leave, now. They’re coming soon, and I can’t be here, of course. Your friend will suspect something if she sees me. But for the most part, she thinks that you orphaned her, and we’re the military taking her to you. And her dead beloved ones. Go ahead. Call me sick. Call me evil. You’ll be dead anyway, and I will still live, knowing that you are wrong and that you are evil. And your friend will die, too.”

Araceli left. I had time. The amount depends. But it didn’t matter, I had time to live before I died. That’s all I wanted. 

About an hour passed before the door finally opened again. Randy was there, holding it for Violet to come in. 

“Eli…” she said, not meeting my eyes. “They told me…” 

Randy closed the door. Violet immediately went to check if it was locked. 

She’s nervous. She usually does that when she’s nervous. 

Looking up at the ceiling, she exhaled before she started sobbing. “Oh, Eli, how could you…”

Randy was frowning at me the whole time, but only when Violet wasn’t looking, he smiled at me. 

Oh, how much I hate my brother. Why did I even think of trying to bring him back?

“I saw the bodies,” Violet said. “You shot them. I… I just can’t believe you would do it.”

I couldn’t talk. Even if I did, I didn’t have anything to say. I wanted to tell her to see through Araceli’s lies, but of course she doesn’t even know this is Araceli’s aircraft now. 

C’mon Violet, see through the lies. You know I would never do this. I’m being framed! 

I was too weak and tired to try and struggle anyway. 

“Eli… I don’t even know you anymore. And I don’t know what to do. I’m alone. I don’t know you.”

Randy opened his mouth, about to say something, then thought for the better of it. As brothers, I knew exactly what he was going to say. But you still have me. But I knew why he didn’t say it. Violet was going to die anyway. Even Randy couldn’t save her. Nobody could. The hardest part was that Violet was clueless, she didn’t know a thing about what really as going on, and yet she was going to die, and I couldn’t do anything about it. If my gag was off, maybe I would’ve had a chance. 

This was more worse than my physical torture, because I actually couldn’t stand this. Maybe if I was beaten to death, I couldn’t stand that either, but this type of torture was the same as being dead. 

Oh well, just a few more minutes. Keep talking Violet, keep me alive. Never mind, I want to die. I want to get out of this terrible place. 

“You poor creature,” she said. “That one night… you didn’t tell Randy goodbye when I told you to when I was leaving for vacation, did you?”

Randy suddenly became aware when he heard his name. “What? What are you talking about?”

Violet took that as an answer, not daring to meet my eyes. “I thought so.”

My chest hurt. I felt more terrible than ever. Of course I wouldn’t, why would I? Why would I do that for Randy? But Violet would never understand, she wants us to love each other, we’re all we’ve got. Family. 

Violet couldn’t control her anger. She yelled, “I hate you!” and started for me but Randy grabbed her. 

“Wait!” he said. “Stop it! You can’t do that!”

“Why not?” she yelled. “I hate him! He’s a stranger to me, I want to rip him apart!”

“Calm down! Get a hold of yourself!” Randy said. 

“You still love him, huh?” Violet screamed in between sobs. “You’re still his brother!”

“What? No!” He looked at me, and then shook his head. He betrayed me too. 

“C’mon, Randy, let me go!” Violet tried to squirm away, but Randy turned her around and blocked her path. 

“No, he’s not my brother anymore.” Randy said. “He’s my enemy.”

“Then why don’t you let me kill him!” Violet said, shaking. “I want to. So�"so bad…”

“No,” Randy said, making it final.

I couldn’t stand this much longer. Let her kill me, Randy. Just do it.

Then the door opened and security guards came in, grabbing Violet. 

“No!” she said, suddenly in a mood swing. “Please, Randy is all I have left. Him and whatever’s left inside that creature over there, they’re all I have left. Please.”

The guards didn’t care. They dragged her out of the room. Dragging her to where she was going to die, no matter if she knew it or not. 

“I didn’t do that for you, little bro.” Randy said, looking at the ground. “You’re not my little bro anymore.”

I was stricken with false guilt. They made me feel like I really caused this. I was going to die knowing that Violet hates me, with fake hate. And that my brother betrayed me, and our family, and Violet, and what’s good left in the world. This was the worst death I could’ve imagined, dying knowing I couldn’t do a thing to change any of that. 

Araceli walked in soon after that, and right there I wished I could break my cuffs and strangle him to death. 

“Too dramatic, Randy,” he said. “You should’ve let Violet kill him. Let her do your job.”

Randy was staring at the floor until he heard the last sentence, and then he looked up. 

“Because now you have to.”

My brother started backing up. “You never told me you were going to make me do this.”

“Why would I? I want to see if you’re actually loyal, and that you believe my opinions. Because I remember saying that killing in this era is now a good thing, and people shouldn’t be guilty about it. If you don’t do it, then you’ll go down with your victim.”

They’re going to kill him. Probably either way, I know it. Please, Randy. If you’ve ever been my brother, don’t do it. Let me be the one to live. Except I was going to die either way as well, too. There was no escape from my death, but there was for my brother. The look in his eyes told me he was going to take it. 

Araceli held out a gun so that Randy could grab the handle. He hesitated, looking at it, and I knew what he was thinking, again. 

I could end all of this. If I could just shoot Araceli, this madness will be over. 

But I was wrong, because he turned to me. Araceli probably had some failsafe to save him anyway, and killing him probably never occurred to Randy. He didn’t think Araceli’s campaign was bad at all. 

Tears formed in Randy’s eyes. “I never agreed to this, Araceli. If you’re forcing me to do this, then I’m going to force you to let Violet go. Please. Send her back on a pod to the surface. Let her go. You have to, or I won’t do it.”

Araceli thought for a moment. “I’m going to be merciful to you, Randy. For making the right choice. I promise you she’ll be let go.”

“Do I have your word?” 

“Yes.”

He’s lying, obviously. Araceli would never do such a thing like that. What was Randy trying to do? Make him feel guilty? The man was as cold as a stone, he didn’t have feelings. 

Randy had to trust him for now, he couldn’t do anything about it. He wanted to make this quick too, because without warning, he aimed at my chest, closed his eyes as his tears fell away, and fired. 

My life flashed before my eyes quickly. I remembered Randy saying, sometimes I just want to kill you. He wasn’t lying. He would really do it. I was right Randy. I bet you would, and I was right. 

I felt incredible pain in my chest. So this is what it felt like to die…

Sixth

I felt nothing. The rest of the event was felt in darkness, but I remembered it clearly. 

“Well done,” Araceli said. “You’ve proved your loyalty. Most people would not be able to do this.”

Randy dropped the gun. “What have I done? I killed my own brother.”

“You did the right thing.”

“It may be so, but I still took a life.”

“Don’t feel any remorse, child.”

Randy exhaled. “Okay. You’re right. I don’t feel anything.”

“Good.”

“Um, I’m just asking, but what would have happened if I chose to shoot you?”

“You’d die. All my guns have a failsafe to explode in their user’s face if they’re aimed at me. Or my men.”

Randy nodded. 

“I know you wouldn’t have done that, anyway. Now bring him to a disposing pod and send him back down. Get him out of my sight.”

“Yes, sir.”

And that’s when I blacked out, finally and truly dead. 

But not truly. 

My death may have been final to everybody who caused 

it, but when my pod connected with the surface, it jolted me awake. And then I started wheezing. I kicked a side of the pod, and red lights started to flash and a beeping noise started. The suddenness scared me, and I wheezed even more. 

I pushed with all my strength, to break free of the pod. It thought I was dead, so it must’ve been locked tight. But the red lights that started had to have been a signal that the creator put in there for the pod to know if someone wasn’t actually dead. Because it started when I kicked the pod, and no dead person could do that. 

I kicked it harder this time, and the pod made a whirring noise. I slammed my shoulder harder into the side, then recoiled back in pain, remembering that I’ve been badly beaten up, and I’ve also crash landed inside a pod that was meant for dead people who had no trouble surviving a hard landing. Because they were dead. 

“Ow!” I yelled, which made my voice hurt. I grabbed my arm. It was bleeding. There was a lot of blood, too. I started wheezing when I tried to breathe again. I shouldn’t have yelled. I was already in a trapped pod with little to no air, and my chest hurt like crazy, causing my wheezing. I was in so much pain, I didn’t feel any of it. I couldn’t afford to if I wanted to get out of here. 

The pod’s whirring noise suddenly stopped, and I waited. A few clicks went off before the door finally opened, revealing the bright sun shedding its light through a canopy of trees. I blocked it with my hand, not seeing the sun for like hours. 

I pushed myself, even if I was hurting so badly, out of the pod. Holding my injured arm and shaking, I stumbled my way out of the crash site of a hole dug in deep dirt, and made it to a tree, where I leaned against it. 

I started wheezing very badly right there, and I slumped down against the tree and rested there, trying to breathe. I saw a trail of my blood in the dirt and almost blacked out. I forced myself not to, or throw up either. 

I scrambled my good arm, which was my right, around my chest frantically, searching for the bullet or the hole or whatever. Trying to find the source of the wheezing. I felt incredible pain there, and I hoped I wasn’t like stabbed with a sharp metal thing hidden by my shirt or something. 

I found something I totally unexpected in my shirt pocket when my hand felt over it. I brought it out and found a cracked phone. The same one that girl had lost when I had bumped into her in the city. I still had it. I had forgotten it was there, it was so weightless. I didn’t notice it at all. 

I studied the cracked screen, and found a bullet in there. It practically tore a hole through it and almost came out on the other side. That and the initial shock of the bullet’s speed must’ve been what made my chest hurt. 

And then it occurred to me. The phone saved my life. It had stopped the bullet. If I hadn’t bumped into the girl in the city or kept her phone, I would have died. For once in my life, fate was on my side. 

I silently thanked it. Thank you, whoever you are, for dropping your phone. You saved my life. Now Araceli thinks I’m dead, and I can live my life in safety because he won’t hunt for me anymore. And thank you Randy, for shooting directly at the phone. Either you meant to or not, you think I’m dead. Yes! 

And now I have to live my life knowing that. Knowing 

also that Violet hates me. She’s probably dead too, anyway, because Araceli would never keep his word. But who cares? I was alive, that’s what mattered to me. The odds were in my favour. I was still breathing! 

I wasn’t going to die today. Even if I had wanted to, to end my pain, fate didn’t let me. It gave me a chance. 

I began to laugh out loud at my luck, but then remembered my hurting chest, but it was too late and I wheezed again. It hurt like crazy. Like I couldn’t breathe. And my arm did too, from all the blood that was seeping out. Too much pain. Yeah, maybe I was still breathing, but not for long if I didn’t get medical assistance. I needed help, and staying here wouldn’t give me it. 

I had to get moving. I tried to get up once, then twice, until I finally mustered enough strength to do so. Holding my left arm, I started dragon myself along through the forest. 

I began recognizing the trees as the ones back at home as I stumbled underneath them. And then I realized that they were the trees from back home. 

I found out that I was extremely lucky, again. Somehow the location my pod landed in was in the forest around my house. The country. I was home. I just had to find it, though. 

I found a road later on in my path. No cars were around, this place was pretty lonely. Or maybe Araceli killed them all from the town that was a thirty minute walk from my house, I didn’t know which. And then I remembered, thirty minute walk. There was no way, in my condition, would I make it home in that long of a walk. Maybe if I was closer than thirty minutes, I could, but I didn’t know how far my house was from here. I didn’t know where I was in the road. For all I know, I could be in an entire different forest! Maybe these trees weren’t the ones I grew up with. Maybe I was in an entirely different location. 

Whatever the case, it was turning dark. I didn’t have enough strength or time to make it there before dark. I would be blind in the dark. I had to take a night here. If my prediction in my cell was right, that I was only imprisoned for two days, then today was the third, and now it would end because it was nighttime. Tomorrow my parents would officially not have seen me or Randy for three whole days. It depressed me. They must think I’m dead, and that I would never come back, and they already left the house to run and hide from Araceli. Then I’m alone. They were supposed to be my help and medical assistance when I got home. 

So now everyone I knew, loved, and used to love, thought that I was dead. And, who knows, maybe in the woods tonight, I would bleed to death, and die in my sleep. And then they would all be right. 

No, I had to survive. If Mom and Dad weren’t in the house, I had to find them. I had to come back to them. 

But what was I going to tell them? That I had failed? I was tortured, framed, and I couldn’t bring Randy back. And now we have to run from Araceli. That’s my news. That’s it. No good or bad news. Just bad news. 

I groaned in pain as my body couldn’t take it much longer. I couldn’t go any further. I really needed rest, mostly sleep. I had to take a night here. 

I found a log and sat down. I gazed up at the sky, still wheezing, and saw a beautiful sunset. I wished someone was here with me. Maybe Violet, I don’t know. We almost had never miss a sunset. Even now, with everything that had happened, I was watching it. 

Yes, I still haven’t missed one. The two days, or however much I was imprisoned if I predicted wrong, didn’t count because I was powerless to stop them. So still I haven’t missed a sunset a day of my sentient childhood. 

I watched it and imagined a silent conversation with her. She started yelling at me and telling me that she’d kill me the first chance she gets, calling me monster and creature as if she had truly forgotten her best friend, so I tuned out. I had no interest in that. 

I had to get to work anyway. I sighed, picked myself up off the log and started to look for twigs for a fire. I lit it up by rubbing two branches fast starting a flame, which hurt my arm. My Dad taught me how to do it. Survival tips for, well, just in case scenarios like this one. 

It began to turn pitch black the later I stayed up in the night. I was going to sleep before I remembered the cracked phone in my pocket. 

I took it out once more, staring at it. And then I don’t know what came over me, but I threw it in the fire. I had simple logic in my mind. I’ll never see you in my life ever again, because either you joined Araceli or died with the good people left in the world. And if somehow you’re still alive, like me, then there’s no way I’m going to find you again and return this. Thanks for the favour of saving my life, but I’m not going to save yours if you’re in danger, I’m sorry. The phone’s broken anyway. 

And then I broke down again, like that one night Randy said he wanted to kill me. Tears filled my eyes, and I didn’t want to think I was going soft. Maybe I was having a mental breakdown, I didn’t know. I just didn’t know the reason for it, which was so ironic considering all the bad stuff happening in the world right now. My parents are worried about me, Violet’s parents are dead and blames me for it, Randy is evil enough to kill his own brother, and people are being killed because of a psychopathic man who thinks he can solve the population problem. That’s the thing�"no one can. It’s supposed to be impossible to solve without at least a side of people who disagreed with it. 

I’m still waiting for the day when a rebellion will rise up against his madness and assassinate him themselves. And I still remember him saying, All my guns have a failsafe to explode in their user’s face if they’re aimed at me. Or my men. We have to kill him with our weapons, our way. I’ll bet his men has something around their necks to choke em’ or something if they ever chose to attack him. He’s the most protected man in the world, because of how everybody agreed with him, so basically there was nobody left who wanted to kill him. Except for the humans left that are good. 

Go to sleep, I told myself. There’s no use in imagining. I had to rest if I were to make it home tomorrow. 

I sighed, which just made my chest hurt. The severe pressure of everything, including mental pain, was too much. I needed some way to fix it, or my breathing would stay like this forever, which I don’t doubt. Maybe I had crushed lungs or broken ribs. 

Tomorrow, if I’m lucky, I’m going to make it home. Alive.

Something woke me up early in the morning. I didn’t know 

what it was, I didn’t have any nightmare or I wasn’t too hot or too cold. I just woke up and then I couldn’t go to sleep. 

It’s okay. If I’m not tired then I don’t have to sleep. 

With my fire gone, its light has been replaced by the sun, which was rising in the east. Knowing that the sun rose east, I knew the opposite direction was west, which was the direction the road I was following went. So I hoped for the best and went that direction. 

Following the road, it took at least half the day to finally find my farm. I first spotted the wheat fields when the trees opened to a clearing, and then the barn, the house, the hills and trees of my home. I got excited, but I couldn’t run because of my injury. Other than that, I was also hungry. I was malnourished, and I had no energy left. 

I was limping across the field, telling myself to just go on a bit longer, so I could see if our car is parked in our driveway, so I could know if my parents made it. Unfortunately I couldn’t make it. I just didn’t have any energy left, and I crashed onto the ground, wheezing. I could just rest here, forever. I could just die here and not have to worry about any problems. 

When Mom shook me I didn’t even know I fell asleep. 

“Eli!” she said. “What happened? You’re hurt.”

“Take him inside,” Dad said, helping her to carry me. I was too tired to respond. I could only be happy that my parents were alive, and they made it home. Now I was in comforting hands, and I didn’t have to worry. That was the biggest thing. I was safe now, my parents would take care of me. We were all safe here. Nobody knows we’re here. Nobody knows I’m still alive. 

My dad bandaged my arm, and told me that it was 

alright, nothing was broken. Including even my chest, which they noticed because of my wheezing, wasn’t broken either. In fact, they didn’t know what was wrong with my chest, they didn’t know how to fix it. I wished I could tell them that it was okay, it was already feeling better, I could take the pain. But I was still half-asleep. 

I was drowned in darkness again when I woke up in my bed, my parents there. Mom staring lovingly at me on a chair, Dad pacing the room and mumbling frustratingly. 

“It wasn’t a good idea to send him. Why did I let that happen?”

“You’re awake!” Mom said. “You need to tell us what happened.”

I took a drink from a glass of water I found beside me before I spoke. “Randy’s turned evil.”

“What do you mean?” Dad said. 

“I couldn’t bring him back,” I said. “I didn’t have a chance at all, I was tied up the whole time. Neos Araceli was there, and he gave Randy a gun, and he had the chance to shoot Araceli but he didn’t. He shot me instead.”

“What?” Mom said. 

“Nonsense. I refuse to believe this,” Dad said. “How did you survive?”

I told them about the phone being dropped, and then me putting it in my shirt pocket and it unknowingly saving my life. 

“Your brother would never do that,” Mom said. “Are you sure?”

“I saw it with my own eyes. They all think I’m dead now. The bullet and the ride back to the surface did some damage to my chest, I think. It hurts to breathe, but I’m sure 

it’ll get better. It’ll go away.”

“Ride back to the surface?” Dad asked. 

“They put me in a disposing pod thinking I was dead.”

“Why, were you in an airship?”

“Yes, that’s where all those freight carriers in every city went. Most of Araceli’s followers are all there, living there. It’s huge, too. It can block out the view of the sun if you’re in a city.”

Dad sighed and put a hand to his forehead. “Nobody good is left. Everybody’s turned, even your brother. I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Is that all that happened?” Mom asked. 

“I was framed by Araceli before I died.”

“What do you mean?”

“Violet and her parents were there. They murdered her parents, and told her that I did it.”

“But why?”

“I don’t know.”

Dad grunted. “So they’re all dead, then?”

“I heard Randy trying to convince Araceli to let Violet go at the price for killing me, but�"”

“He would never do that,” Mom finished. 

“Exactly.”

“He’s a straight liar, and a very perceiving man. He can change the way you think about him or his opinions because he’s a powerful convincing speaker. Even the best have fallen to him.”

“We’d never agree with him though, right?” I asked. 

“No, never.”

Mom stroked my hair. “You must be feeling terrible. How mistreated you were up there. What were we thinking 

when we sent you?”

“You didn’t send me, Mom,” I said. “I chose to go.”

“It was our responsibility to not let you go,” Dad said. “It was our fault. We’re going to make sure you’re never going to get hurt again. You’re our only son left.”

“It’s okay, Dad. I’m tougher than you think. I came back with nothin’ broken.”

“That’s an understatement. Your arm still has a huge gash, and your lungs are in terrible condition.”

“I’ve got no choice, I have to be able to travel. Araceli also said he’s going to hunt down every single last one of us, the good people left in the world. He’s not going to stop. He may think I’m dead, but that won’t matter if they find this house. When I was dropped I was dropped here, so we can’t be too far away from him. We have to run and hide.”

“He’s right,” Mom told him. “We have to go. It’s not safe here anymore. In fact, nowhere around here is. So we have to go far until we find a place where it is. But right now, we’re being hunted.”

Dad stroked his hair and exhaled. “Okay, we have to leave. You’re right. We can’t stay here. Even just one more night is too dangerous. How about we rest a little, because we all need it, and then pack our things to go.”

“Where are we going to go?” I asked. “You said already that there’s no place around here that’s safe.”

“I don’t know. We’ll just have to wing it.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Mom said. 

“We have no choice,” Dad said. “Come on, let’s start.”

“We need to bring as much food with us as possible. It’s going to be hard to fight over it once we’re out, since there’s not enough left for all of us.”

“What does that mean?” I said. “We have to fight?”

“It means we may have to kill,” Dad explained. 

“But that goes against everything we’ve agreed on.”

“No it doesn’t. This is different. We’re going through survival instincts. If you’re so bent on not ever killing then try to do so when the time comes that you have to, for food. You won’t have a choice, trust me.”

“Yes, he’s right,” Mom said. “There’s no chance of trying to turn off your fight or flight instinct. You’ve never known much about how bad the world’s problems really are because you’ve been living your entire life in a self-sustaining area right here. You’ve never had to worry about food or water or people invading your home for space.”

“You mean…” I began, “You’ve been doing this your whole lives before you got this farm?”

They both nodded, which scared me. 

“My father sometimes had to kill people for numerous reasons,” Dad said. “Sometimes it’s just because a few people were trying to take our house from us, sometimes we needed food so badly we had to. I was never proud of it, but he was. He was crazy in the end, anyway.”

“But that’s murder.”

“Face it, you have to, one way or another. To survive. With all the stuff going on, you won’t be accused of that anymore. The law now says you’re free to kill.”

“I won’t if I don’t have to.”

“Of course,” Mom said. “Always hesitate.”

“Do we have any guns or stuff, anyway?”

“The barn,” Dad remembered. “We also need it to defend ourselves if Araceli finds us.”

“Come on then, we better get going,” Mom said, 

standing up. “Dad, help me with the food first, and then we stockpile on weapons. Eli, are you okay enough to help?”

“Yes,” I breathed instantly, and tried to get up. My whole body ached when I did. 

We spent the entire afternoon packing. Food, water, supplies, weapons, ammo, treasured things. I filled my backpack up with all the necessary stuff. 

It was almost turning dark when Dad entered my room quietly. 

“Eli, I need to give you this.” He brought out a pistol from behind his back. “Don’t worry, it’s on safety.”

He handed it to me backwards so I could grab the handle. I studied it, feeling the rubber grip, and made a mental note. If I were to kill Araceli this would have to be it, not any weapon I pick up from his followers. 

“I don’t know how to shoot,” I said. 

“Would you rather not have one?”

“Good point.”

“This is a situation where each of us needs one, just in case. It doesn’t matter if you’re young or inexperienced. The important thing is that you have something with you that can save your life, even if it is at the cost of others. As long as those other’s lives are worth less than yours, it’s okay. And last time I checked, more than half the world’s people are worth less than you, because of their opinion. Be ready, keep your eyes alert. You never know when you might need it.”

I nodded. Then I stuffed it in my bag. 

“You ready to go?” he asked. 

“Yep.”

He left the room. I was about to go before I remembered 

that the sun was going down. I had to stay there a bit longer and watch it through my window. I just had to.

When the night sky finally came up, we were all set in the car. As much stuff as we possibly could pack was in our trunk. We would have to say goodbye to our home.

As we said our final goodbye, we had to move on. I spotted the lights first. They were distant still, far away enough that they wouldn’t see us if we made it into the wheat fields for cover.

“They’re coming!” I said quietly. I watched the helicopters and footmen carrying guns coming nearer to our farm. 

“We have to go, now,” Mom said as Dad followed up by starting the car. “You can’t have the headlights on. That’ll give us away, blow our cover.”

“I can’t turn it off,” Dad replied.

“Then do something!” Mom whispered. 

Dad stepped out of the car. He grabbed a wrench lying around in our garage and gave each of our headlights one big swing, smashing them. 

“Hurry! They’re getting closer!” I said. 

Dad jumped in the car and we sped off, off the road and into the wheat field, hiding ourselves in the tall plants. We were driving in total darkness. I couldn’t see anything, only hear the breaths of the three of us and the whirring of the car wheels. 

I turned around in my seat and checked on our house, seeing all of Araceli’s men finally reach it. After a minute of staring at them in the distance, I saw our beloved home explode in a fiery explosion that showered the entire area with debris and sparks. 

“They blew it up,” I said sadly. Mom watched it too, as Dad took a glance in the rearview mirror.

“We’re safe now, don’t worry,” he said. “They haven’t got us yet. As long as they don’t, their mission isn’t done yet.”

We drove away in complete silence as I watched the remains of our house burn down to ashes, as the men who caused it got back in their vehicles and moved on. Moved on relentlessly. Moved on without fear of being hunted. Moved on to their next target, whoever it may be. 

Seventh

I woke up to daylight, forgetting everything. Where am I? What happened? Who was with me?

And then I remembered. I fell asleep in the car. Our house was destroyed. We were on the run. 

I groaned as I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids felt several pounds heavy. And the sun was so bright. I didn’t want to wake up.

I saw Mom in the passenger seat asleep too. Dad was fighting to stay awake, his head bobbing down a bit until he forced it up again, every few seconds. 

One time it went down too low, and I yelled, “Dad!”

He jolted awake just as our car was veering off the direction of the road. He tried to steer back on course in time, but he was too late. We crashed hard into a lamppost, and I fell forward into my seatbelt, and it woke up Mom. Her eyes bursted open and she looked like she had a heart attack. 

“What the…” she said drowsily. 

Dad looked shocked for a second, staring at the front of the car smashed onto the lamppost, but when he looked around and saw that everyone was okay, he grew too tired and fell into a deep sleep onto the driver’s wheel. 

If I hadn’t woken up that soon and warned Dad, it could’ve been a lot worse. And everything was okay anyway, so I guess Dad deserved his rest. 

Mom and I fully woke up and dragged Dad out of the car. We were in the middle of the highway, going to who knew where. We found a chunk of rock that came off the highway wall and set Dad against it in a comfortable position. 

I took a glance at the view around us. Explosions must’ve happened everywhere. Guns, too. I saw cars with bullet holes on the sides, glass everywhere from shattered windows. Most of the cars were empty, but some had a few dead people inside, and I forced myself not to look. 

Mom didn’t do the same. She almost vomited onto the floor but held herself steady against the car. 

“Do you know where we are?” I said as I stumbled slowly onto the ground next to Dad sleeping. I clutched my hurt arm and rested there for a moment. 

“Main… highway to the city,” Mom said slowly as she laid herself down too. “I don’t know why your dad would bring us back here.”

I continued to survey the area and yes, in fact, we were in a city. The same one. Tall buildings with electronic billboards, scathed roads, abandoned cars, highways on bridges that went over others which we were on one right now. 

“Our car’s broken,” I breathed. “No more ride. It’s not like we have anywhere else to go anyway. Let’s hope that the city is abandoned by the men trying to kill us too.”

Mom nodded. 

We shoved all our stuff out of the trunk, and tried to stuff as many supplies and snacks into the three backpacks we brought. We took drinks from our plastic water bottles, ate a few packs of the food we had left, and sat there feeling sorry for ourselves that we were in this mess. 

For a family owning a farm, we basically had no food 

left after our rations. It’s not like we could bring all the livestock and vegetables we grow into one car anyway. We had to do the same as everyone else, find our own food without our farm. Fight people for it. Without a source left, we’d have a totally big war over for it. But Araceli had it all. He already controlled our farm, who knew how many more he controlled. He had sources of food and water for his people, while the remaining ones who survived after the initial hunting, the good people left who didn’t join him, were scattered, distraught, and forced to fight each other for the rations we had left. 

What’s to say that Araceli wouldn’t post sentries around the only sources of food we had left anyway? The grocery stores. The restaurants. The convenience stores, the gas stations. Anything that had food. It’d make sense for him to put guards in those places, because that was our only chance of surviving for however long those sources would last. Or maybe it was a waste of time placing them around those areas, and he needed every single man in his army to hunt down the rebels. In his mind he would probably think, those sources would probably run out anyway, if we killed all the people that drive the food there. So what’s the point? Only the farms are the important ones. Guard those from the rebels, kill any who come near, take the resources for us. 

The world is running out of food and even water anyway. Before all this happened. And now they’re even more scarce to people when Araceli guards all the sources. The humans left in the world, the good ones, are going to die of starvation. Thirst first if they can’t even find water. Our family has never been used to feeling this scarce of resources before, because we lived our entire lives in a farm, so we never had to worry about hunger or thirst, or even health, because the government protected us. They insured and trusted us that as long as they keep us alive and keep the people who wanted to kill us for our food away from us, we’d supply the nation with natural resources. 

The government betrayed us. My family. They own the farms now, because they joined Araceli, and left us to die. They probably don’t realize it either. They will never, because they are selfish now, and they want to kill other people to make the world a better place. So that they won’t have to share their food and water with people who need it anymore, since there are no more people who need it. They’re all dead. By them, too. So they took our food and killed us all for themselves. Basically what’s happening in the world. 

The world is so unfair.

I can see what’s going to happen next. The whole world will fight in a huge war against humanity’s last resources, and the world will be in chaos and destruction. Nothing will be left. Not even animals, because we killed them all. No life, no structures, no people. We’re all going to die�"

“Eli?” Mom said to me. I was dozing off. 

When Dad woke up, we strapped our backpacks and headed off into the city. After ages of walking and walking and… well, walking, we found nobody left alive. Not a single soldier of Araceli either. 

That was until we went near a community centre deep in the city, and heard gunshots along with a scream for help. We headed inside to see what was happening. I was a bit scared. It could’ve been Araceli’s men. But you can’t just ignore a scream for help. We hurried into the building to find out what happened. 

We found broken glass everywhere, and a group of dead people. An empty vending machine with its glass case shattered was against one wall. Empty wrappers from the vending machine were spilled over the floor. It looked like they were all fighting for the packages of food.  There was a big, burly man in the middle of it all, still alive. He was holding a rifle and breathing heavily, blood seeping out from cuts all over his dark skin.

He pointed his rifle at us when he saw us. “Don’t move!” he yelled. “I swear, if you move I’ll shoot!”

He was crazy. His eyes were bloodshot. He looked tired and restless at the same time. 

Dad instantly pulled out his own gun he had stuffed into his pocket, hidden by his shirt. He aimed it at the man, not backing down the challenge. 

“Drop the gun, you've killed enough already,” he said while he gently pushed Mom and I behind him.

“I’ve lost everything!” the crazy man exclaimed. “Everything! I’m not gonna lose this too!”

“Drop whatever’s behind your back,” Dad said. “And your gun. And I promise to you I won’t shoot. Nobody has to die.”

“Drop yours first!” The man was shaking now. I didn’t notice at first, but he was holding something behind his back. “I’m not going to lose this! I’ve fought hard for this! I’ve killed everyone for this! I deserve this!”

“Just drop everything, and I’ll drop�"”

“No! You don’t understand! Stop it or I’ll kill you!” he yelled, practically spitting as he gestured with his rifle. “I’ll 

keel you!”

Dad’s eyes locked on the man’s finger, which was about to pull the trigger. He fired first. It hit the man’s side, which brought him to his knees. He fired second, but Dad’s shot blew him back a bit, making his shot inaccurate. All three of us flinched and ducked our heads, and the bullet whipped by a metre off target, hitting the wall behind us, spraying dust everywhere. The two shots only had a split second in between. It was scary.

Dad didn’t hesitate at all to fire again. His shot was aimed better this time, it hit the man in the chest near his heart. He fell to the ground, blood seeping out of a hole in his shirt. His gun clattered on the floor. When his eyes stopped flicking around, completely motionless, he was dead. 

His hand let go of what he was holding. We saw what it was. The last package of chips from the vending machine. The only one left with food inside, ready to be open. 

“Oh my…” Mom’s voice cracked as she knelt down to review the dead man. She grabbed the bag of chips and studied it. 

Dad was breathing heavily, and looked exhausted after that. He relaxed as he fell gently to the ground, resting on the floor. 

I walked around a bit, replaying the moment in my head. I was scared to death. That shot could’ve killed anyone of us. If Mom or Dad had died, I couldn’t live with that, so it’d be basically the same thing as if I were the one to have gotten shot. 

“You killed him,” I told Dad. 

“I had no choice,” he said. “He was uncontrollable. 

Beyond reach of bringing him back. You saw his eyes. He couldn’t be saved.”

“This is the only food we have left,” Mom said, holding the chip bag. “Until we find more, that is. Eli, are you hungry?”

“What?” I was barely focused. “You act like nothing just happened, like nobody just died. Like that bag wasn’t the thing that the man killed everybody for. Like it’s just a regular chip bag.”

“We had to kill him,” she said. “And if we had to, why not take his food?”

Disgusting. “I’m not hungry,” I said even though I was starving. It was basically dinner time. The sun was still up, but it was turning late.

As I tried to sit down on the floor, I slipped from a few glass shards under my foot and landed on my bad arm. 

“Agh!” I yelled more in anger than in pain.

The yell just made my chest hurt, and I started wheezing. I groaned, and the pain brought tears to my eyes. I felt the gash on my arm open up again under my bandage. I didn’t want to check. 

“Eli!” Mom said as she went over to me. “Are you okay?”

I didn’t answer for a moment. Just sat there and wheezed. When I controlled my breathing, I said, “Okay, I’m hungry.” Then took the bag of chips from my mother’s hand.

It turned evening fast. We went hungry that night, and I regretted not sharing the bag of chips with my parents.

“It’s okay,” Dad told me. “We’ll find more food. We don’t want you to starve.”

“That’s about everything we’re going to find here in this wretched place,” I said. 

Mom was searching through our bags. “We seriously have one plastic water bottle left?” 

“There’s a sink in the washroom,” Dad said. “That’s safe to drink. You can refill the bottles. Just rinse them before you do. I think it’s harmful if you don’t, if you want to keep reusing those.”

Mom went to do that and Dad and I cleared an area that was near the wall where we would sleep for the night. We would have to sleep uncomfortably on the floor. There was no other option. We had no food either. We were going to go hungry for the night.

I watched the windows as the sun’s last rays of light faded away. Mom and Dad slept, while I stayed up a bit longer, thinking about how this is what we get for being good people. We have to kill to survive. We have to kill because there’s not enough food, and nobody wants to share. This is what we get for not wanting to kill. 

I stared at the dead man on the other side of the room on the floor. He had died protecting his food. This is what the world was going to be like from now on. I felt sick looking at him like that. Lifeless.

I was dozing off until I saw a person’s shadow outside the building. It wasn’t subtle, but I saw it clearly. Then it moved out of sight. My heart stopped beating for a second. It could be more rebels, or Araceli’s men. The scariest part was that I didn’t know anything. Maybe the person had a gun, and we were defenceless.

What was I looking at again? I forgot. 

I began to doze off again until I heard the distinct but 

ever real sound of helicopters flying in the night sky.

We had to move. Now. I didn’t even get to have any sleep.

I woke up Mom and Dad and we packed up. 

We followed Dad out of the building and into the shadows, where the spotlights wouldn’t find us. 

“Where are we going?” I asked him.

“Out of here,” he said. “We were heading for the grocery market to try and find some food, but that’s too late now. We have to get out of this city. Run really, really far away. They’re everywhere here.”

“Where are we going to find food then?”

“We just can’t stay here. We’ll think of that later.”

So there we were, in the middle of the night, running away. Or else we’d be killed. We found a car with dead people inside. We pushed them out of the car, and Dad smashed the lights again, with a metal rod he found on the ground. We drove off of the direction of the helicopters, which seemed to be coming from deeper into the city. So maybe they were guarding the place. 

In hours we were off in the highway again. The amount of cars that were destroyed on the road was depressing. There were too many dead people, and we were the only ones still alive. 

We came to the same forest our farm was surrounded by, but we went the opposite direction of our house. We drove in silence, and in darkness. It wasn’t even slide to morning yet. I didn’t know how Dad could see without light. 

For days we went hungry, finding new cars and ditching old ones, traveling as far as we could from the place I’ve come to know my entire life. We didn’t have any energy left. We were so tired. And if we didn’t find food soon we’d starve. 

Water was a problem too, which we didn’t get much of either. Lucky cases were when we’d find bottles in abandoned cars, or water fountains in a town we passed by. 

One morning we found a hotel, empty of life as usual, and we sat down to rest. 

“Why are we… stopping?” my mother panted. “We have to keep going. Try to find other people that survived the genocide.”

“I have to check,” Dad said breathlessly. “Please, I have to. We need to know what’s going on with the world.”

And so we found a working TV in the lobby, and Dad checked the news. Nothing good. Everywhere was massacre. The least depressing part was that there were still a lot of us left. Hiding. Running away. We were in the shadows with Araceli, so that meant other rebels couldn’t find each other either. Some were fighting back, giving resistance to Araceli, which is what you’d expect. You’d expect at least some part of the world to stand up against this madness. 

Some cities were full of humans left. Not the people alien to our planet. They barricaded themselves in, and they stocked up on food and weapons to use against Araceli. They united in fortitude, working together to resist Araceli’s men. Basically a colony of survivors left, a colony of rebels fighting back. I wished the three of us were there. They’d certainly take care of us in good hands. They had food there. They had supplies. They had weapons. As long as we helped them survive in that colony we would be accepted. They may not be safe, but they were certainly safer than us. They refused to go on the run and hide. They chose to stand up and fight back against the genocide. And they chose to still believe in what they believe. They chose to stick to the old ways, to not kill people because it was helping the planet, but killing only to defend themselves. They chose to never agree with Araceli. I’m pretty sure colonies like those really angered him. How they stood up and fought back, and how he couldn’t get to them.

That brought joy to my father. “We’re not alone,” he said. “There’s still a lot of us left. The good ones.”

“Some of them are surrendering and joining him,” Mom said, reading off the news screen.

“We’d never do that,” I said. “Right?”

Dad nodded. “Never.”

The news reporter told news of Araceli’s plans to bomb the colonies fighting back, and our hopes sank. Of course, that was a last resort. The clips on the screen showed his men retreating the city city so they could start the countdown. 

“They have to get out of there,” Mom said. “They can’t stay. There’s nothing there that can protect them from those bombings.”

The next clip showed the reporter showcasing all the parts of the world that Araceli was inflicting his genocide on. He was sending nukes to populated areas all over the planet, and he had millions of men from all over the world on foot hunting down the remaining people. 

“At a rate like this,” the reporter said, “The genocide could be over in days. Araceli has control over all weapons in the world, and is destroying practically everyone. The remaining people will die over the course of weeks, if his soldiers find them and kill them, or from starvation and thirst. There are even reports of people found to have committed suicide at the hopeless situation. This entire thing could almost be over. The population can stabilize and there will soon be enough food for everybody if enough people are dead.”

That made me sick. Just thinking of that. All the death in the world.

What was going to happen to us after this? After the madness ended, would we be considered back into society because we survived through it? Or would he still kill us because we still don’t agree with him? Who would be left? Only his people? Would there really be absolutely nobody good left in the entire world? 

I didn’t know. We’d have to find out. 

“Oh, I’m so hungry,” Mom groaned, clutching her stomach.

“Look, there’s a bar down here in this lobby,” Dad said. “Let’s check the pantry.”

We found food. Real food. Not vending machine chips or beef jerky we found in convenience stores. Vegetables, bread, meat.

We were all munching on it, until I said, “This could be weeks’ old of food.”

“I don’t care,” Dad said with a mouthful.

We found out that there wasn’t much left. Maybe it was already raided and stripped of food. It wasn’t enough, so Mom and Dad gave me the rest of theirs.

“Are you sure?” I asked them as Dad gave me half a baguette he found lying around in a basket. 

“Of course,” he said. 

“Maybe we could stay here for the night,” Mom said.

“It’s only the afternoon,” Dad replied, “we have time to keep moving.”

And so we did. On and on, we drove out of the ghost town and into the wilderness once again. I lost track of time. It could’ve been days, or even weeks. We went hungry most days, and it got so bad we couldn’t even sleep, just lied down on the floor groaning. Complaining. Whining about how it was so unfair. It was complete suffering for us. 

When we didn’t find any civilization we camped in the woods. Mom didn’t like sleeping against rotten logs or tree stumps crawling with bugs, so she slept in the car we used to get here. One of the many we borrowed from dead owners. Dad and I were used to being outside all the time, though. We made fires and watched fireflies. We gazed at the stars after the sunset came out. 

Although we couldn’t really enjoy it because of how hungry and thirsty we were. 

“I’ll find food for us in the morning,” Dad said. 

My stomach groaned at the word. “Promise?”

“I promise.” 

I nodded. “I heard pine bark is edible.”

Dad’s expression turned grave. “Do you see any pine trees here?”

I looked around at all the deciduous trees. Maple. Oak. Birch. “Nope.”

We enjoyed the view for a moment until I said, “Clovers. Clovers are edible. And they’re practically everywhere.”

“Sure. Why not. But do you want to eat them?”

“Um, no. What about dandelions.”

“What about them?”

“The entire plant is edible.”

“Eat that if you want.”

I felt sick thinking about that. Okay, so maybe my dad had a point. I thought about that before I was going to suggest bugs. 

If it really came down to it, would we eat bugs? I tried to imagine a lifestyle like that, a survival food that nobody would expect. I imagined a conversation we’d have in the future, if we were still alive. 

Hey, how did you survive that genocide? Didn’t you have, like, no food?

We ate bugs.

Oh. Oh my. 

Hey, it’s not so bad. When you roast em’, they taste like bacon. 

That’s amazing. 

Try it sometime. 

Uh, maybe not. 

“Dad?” I said.

He looked at me. “Yes?”

“Are we going to survive this?”

He had no hesitation. “Yes. If you keep your eyes open and ears peeled, like how you’ve always been lately, and if you keep that gun close and ready to use quickly, we’ll be fine.”

It didn’t give me as much relief as he probably thought it would. 

“If I didn’t keep waking you two up, would we have all died?”

“That’s why we’re a team, Eli,” he said. “No, we wouldn’t. But no pressure, if you keep doing your job, then

we’ll make it through this.”

“Promise me you’ll find food tomorrow? Not for me, but for you and Mom.”

“I promise. I didn’t let you down last time.”

True. And that was an even more difficult task. 

“Find like an apple or something.” 

He smiled. Those were my last words before I fell into deep sleep. For like the seventh time. Or something around those lines. Maybe the twentieth time, who knew. I lost track of time.

I didn’t know how long we’d been on the run, and I don’t know how much longer we’d still be. But what I did know was that I couldn’t take it much longer. 

Eighth

The sun was extra dim today, or maybe I felt that way because I was under the trees. Whichever the case, I woke up near lunchtime. I’d slept a lot more lately. It was the only way to escape hunger. 

Mom and Dad were up before me, and Dad told me he found a berry bush and he and Mom had already eaten. They had a handful of leftovers and and gave them to me.

I chewed on them, feeling the juice gush out. I also felt some water in them.

“Did you wash them?” I asked Dad.

“No. We wouldn’t, considering we had to save all our water. It rained a bit during the night. Don’t you feel a bit wet?”

I looked down at my clothes, the ones I’d had on for weeks now, and they had a few droplets of water all over. I was glad it had rained, I felt like it cleaned me a bit, because we’d been outdoors a lot. And it washed a bit of grime and blood from cuts I’d had, without me having to do it myself. 

“We were up when it almost ended,” Dad said. “Lucky for us. We got a bit to refill our bottles. And it looks like it’s going to rain again. Look at the clouds.”

Yes, in fact the clouds were grey. Very. The sun was dimmed through them, and I thought I even heard thunder in the distance. 

“We better get going then�"oh…” He stopped abruptly and put a hand to his forehead, stumbling forward. He was

about to fall before I caught him.

“Are you okay?” I asked. “What happened?”

“Just a bit… dizzy,” he breathed. “Let me like down for a second.”

I laid him on the ground gently and he didn’t stop groaning. 

“Maybe it was the berries?” 

“No, it wasn’t. I know it wasn’t the berries.”

Mom was nowhere to be seen. I found her inside the car, trying to start it. 

I went over to check what was happening. She was starting the car again and again, but failing.

“C’mon!” she said in frustration, putting her head on the wheel.

It brought me pain to see my parents in such helpless suffering. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“If you can bring me fifty litres of gas to start this stupid car, then yes!”

I waited there for a moment so she could cool down. 

She sighed. “Pack everything, we’re walking.”

Dad was okay by the time we were ready. Through the forest we went, still hungry, still tired even with hours of sleep. The three of us trekked past the trees under the dim sunlight, blocked by dark clouds.

As we went on I noticed that my parents got more tired and weary, and we took frequent rest stops. They always seemed to be dizzy and light-headed.

“Have I ever told you,” Dad said, seemingly out of breath, “that my parents were never the best.”

“How could I forget?” I said. “Yes, you’ve told me already.”

“But do you know why?”

“Dad was an alcoholic, I think. And your mom was verbally abusive or something. You said nobody loved you. You wanted to run away.”

“I lied about that,” he said. “Beneath them, they were good, okay? They were good parents. Just didn’t have good parenting.”

“It’s like Randy,” Mom said. “Do you remember me telling you that he’s not a bad boy, but he just does bad things?”

I nodded.

“They really loved me,” Dad said. “They were overprotective, and that’s why I wanted to run away. They didn’t let me do stuff. Did I ever tell you I was really good at soccer?”

“No.”

“Well, I was, and one game I hurt myself. A player kicked me in the shin really hard, and I didn’t have shin-pads. I never play with shin-pads. Then they got too scared to let me play again. I was the best in my school, the best in probably the province. Ever since I could remember, I wanted to be a professional player. But my parents stripped me of that privilege. They forced me to do safer stuff, stuff that they wanted me to do. Like the violin. Man, how boring that was.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“I followed them. Because they knew what was best for me. I threw away my old life and found a new one, even if I wasn’t happy with my new one. And then bad things happened, all at once. My mother got really sick. She went to the hospital. During those hard weeks, Dad was drinking and driving. He died in a crash. Then Mom died, as expected. Then, as orphans, my sister left me, the only person I loved in the world left. She didn’t want to take care 

of herself and I. She killed herself.”

“That’s dark,” Mom said, even though I know she probably knew all this already. 

“And that’s the reason why I left them and never visited again,” he said. “Because they’re all dead. And I threw away my old life already, so now I didn’t get the path I chose, and I didn’t get the life I wanted. Lucky for me I was eighteen by then. I was old enough to start my own life. So I went to my lonely grandfather and his farm that he owned, and lived there for two years, until he passed away. Now, twenty years old with nobody left, I had to take care of the farm. But not by myself, you see, because the Kenson family shared the farm. So twenty years passed, and still I didn’t get the life that I wanted. I never continued my education because I didn’t want to do it by myself with no family supporting me. And nobody knew I lived alone except for the Kensons. Until I met your mom, and we’ve lived there ever since.”

Suddenly Mom held her grumbling stomach and went to lean against a tree. “I can’t take it anymore. I think this is it.”

“Me too,” Dad said, lying against the tree too. “Eli, you have to continue on without us.”

“What?” I asked, feeling worried. I started to feel rain drops. “Why? And why are you telling me your story?”

“All those times we said we found food for ourselves while you were asleep,” Mom said, “we didn’t. We gave all the food we could find to you.”

“What!?” I said, my throat dry. “You lied to me!”

“We had to,” my dad said, coughing.

“This is it,” Mom said drowsily as she began to close her 

eyes. “Eli, my boy, survive for me, please.”

“No, Mom!” It was starting to rain now. Thunder boomed in the distance, and rain droplets were coming in.

“Leave her,” Dad said, still awake. “We’re goners, Eli.”

“Please Dad, don’t leave me.”

“I have no choice,” he said. “I’m telling you my life story because I want you to not follow that path. I want you to live your own life, the way you want it. All those tragic events, don’t let them ruin you like they did to me and my sister. Live your own life.”

“Goodbye, Dad.” I said, holding both of their hands. Mom’s was already cold, lifeless. 

“One last thing… before I go,” Dad said. “A couple, actually. Save your brother, he’s the only one you have left. He’s good inside, I know he hasn’t left yet. And… Eli.”

I came closer. 

“Remember, a hero isn’t defined because he defeats the villains. A hero is a hero because he cares and saves the people, because he does what is good. Take…” His eyes were closing now. “Araceli for an example.”

He breathed in one last time. “Remember, a good human is a human. And… a bad human is a non-human.”

Then he was gone. 

The thunder boomed loud now, and it did well to mask my scream.

“No…” I said with tears, mixing in with the rain. “You. Lied. To. Me!” I punched his chest with very word. “Why!?”

The yelling brought pain to my chest, but I didn’t care. My parents believed in what they knew was right, and this is what they got. Death from starvation. 

And then it dawned on me. They lied to me because they were selfless. All those weeks, they gave all the food they could find to me, because they loved me. They wanted me to live. And for that, there wasn’t enough food for them to survive. They gave up their lives for me. 

Because they loved me.

This was so unfair. Why did Araceli have to do this to us? And here Dad goes on defending him, saying that maybe he is right. That maybe him and Mom dying is saving the world. Two less mouths to feed. I felt sick thinking of that. 

I wiped my face, and got up. I grabbed my father’s gun and shot it in the sky. 

“Come and get me!” I yelled as hard as I could into the distance, still wheezing. “I’m over here, Araceli! I give up!”

The blasts were loud and powerful, but nothing compared to the thunder. What was I doing? My parents didn’t give all their food and water to me just so I could turn myself in. No, they wanted me to carry on. To find Randy. I was instantly glad the storm was loud. 

I knelt down in the mud, just pouring out the tears. Wherever I was, I was the only person left. Surrounded by people alien to this planet. Bad people. 

So this is the price you get for being good people. 

I can’t give up now. I have to keep moving. It’s what Mom and Dad would want me to do. 

In the rain, I dropped the gun, and picked up my bag. I jerked it onto my back. They were dead, and that was final. 

I had to continue alone.

I figured it wasn’t going to be long until I dropped down dead too, because I didn’t eat that much more than my parents. I could already feel the dizziness, like I had no energy left. I had to find some food soon. 

On and on, I felt lifeless as I walked through the woods. Everything I was wearing was wet now, and dirty from mud. I was so unbelievably tired and hungry, but I didn’t dare stop going. I had to find food. 

One time I got so desperate, I saw a couple of clovers in the grass and didn’t hesitate to run over and scoop them up. I stuffed them in my mouth. They tasted horrible. 

“Bleh!” I spit them back out. I opened my mouth to the rain to wash out some of the grassy taste. 

The thunder boomed through the entire forest, its echo resonating through the ground beneath my shoes. I saw lightning flash and I started to hurry. I had to find some cover, even if it was the middle of the forest. I had to find a big rock to go under or something. 

For what felt like hours I trekked until my feet hurt, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had no energy left.

Then I saw a house just a downhill away, hidden in the trees. It wasn’t blown up. It must’ve had food. 

The hopeful thought got my stomach grumbling again. It was hurting so much. Also my chest, which didn’t stop hurting since I yelled on top of that hill into the storm. 

I picked myself up with all my remaining strength and pushed on. Down to the house. The house in the middle of nowhere, which could be my last hope. 

It had electricity. The lamppost at the front was on. That meant it had running water. I wanted to wash myself badly.

I was closest to the backyard, so I entered through there. Bashed through with my foot. The rain made it wet, which made it easier to kick. 

I was there. I could already feel the shelter of the house. I wanted to get out of the rain, because I knew I would get sick. 

But then I heard wailing, and my heart froze. It was coming from inside a tool shed. Right next to me. 

A kid. I shivered. There was someone in there. Alive. The last time I saw someone alive that weren’t my parents… weeks ago. I can’t even remember. It was unbelievably scary to hear somebody’s voice of a live person.

Slowly, I unlocked the shed doors, and opened them. A loud creak followed. I found a boy inside, nearly my age. Whimpering on the floor. Holding a bitten apple. From a basket full of them. 

My mouth drooled. Sweet, sweet fruit. So juicy. I want it. I want it so badly. 

I knew there wasn’t enough for the both of us. And he hugged it tightly, not wanting to let go. He’d never forgive me if I took some. I had to do it. I had to kill him. That’s how hungry I was. I would do horrible things to get food. 

One shot. He screamed before he was dead. The blast lit up the shed with a flash and a boom. 

“No…” I said, choking on tears. “No!” I threw the gun, instantly regretful. “Why!? Why did I do this?”

I knelt down to grab the apple from his hand before it rolled onto the muddy floor. There wasn’t enough for the both of us. It was all mine now. 

I could’ve waited. I could’ve tried to share. I could’ve done something else than kill him. 

No, if I waited, he’d eat it all. Then it’d be for nothing. Because we’d both die. I wanted them more than him, I was sure. I’d sacrifice anything. 

I grabbed the basket and ravenously started ripping through them all. I brought them in so I didn’t have to look at the boy I killed. That I killed. 

I’m not a good person anymore. I’m no better than Araceli, and everyone who joined him. I was beginning to understand why they were doing what they were doing now. Because there just wasn’t enough food left in the world for everyone. Too many people. 

Inside the house, I found a kitchen, and an empty fridge. All over the floor were empty wrappers, empty bottles, empty everything that used to contain food. I yelled to see if anyone was in here, which just made my chest hut again. I checked every room. Nobody but the boy I had found alive in the shed. Then he must’ve been the one to eat all the food here. 

And it was for nothing. I killed him. The food he ate couldn’t ever be returned for me to eat now. Unless you were a cannibal. I’d never be too hungry to do that. 

But still, I was hungry enough to kill someone, someone my age, just because he was guarding food. That was already so sick I didn’t recognize myself anymore. Who was I? I didn’t know. Randy. That’s who I was. Selfish killer. 

I found my brother in myself, and that scared me. 

I used the house. Pretended it was my own. Used the bathroom, the living room, the bedroom. I cleaned myself up, and lived there with no food for days. I didn’t even want to keep track of how long I’d been at the house. I just didn’t want to move on. I was too scared, but I was also too hungry to not move on. I had to find food. But I had to go the other direction. Not the way to the backyard. 

After I killed that boy in the rain, I never went near the backyard again. 

My parents said that if it comes down to killing, and you really have to, then it’s okay. Better them and not me. 

Because that’s the way the world was now. 

Why did he have to be alive? Why couldn’t he be dead, so that I didn’t have to kill him? Why didn’t I leave him to be, so that he would die eventually, and I didn’t have to deal with him?

But then again, if I waited he would eat all the apples. Leaving none left for me. And he’s been here for a while. If he wasn’t going to move out of the house and try to find more food, those apples weren’t worth it for him to eat them. They should go to me, because I was actually going to live my life and find a way out of this mess and not cower inside a shed. But then again, I realized how long I’d been here too. I kept telling myself just one more day here, I have clean water and a bed. I lied to myself all the time. I just didn’t want to admit I was too scared to move out too. I would end up just like the kid, eating my last food, cowering inside a garden shed. I didn’t want to be like that. 

If he was already dead before I found him, I wouldn’t get the chance to kill him at all. But of course fate wanted me to. It wanted me to feel the pain of killing. Why was fate so unfair? Did fate put that man in that community centre for us to kill too? 

But Dad was right to shoot him, because he was going to shoot us. The boy I killed was helpless. 

I didn’t recognize myself anymore.

I told myself that I would stay in the house one more night. Just to rest. I didn’t have any energy left to search for more food right now, I needed all the energy I could get. Plus, it was turning night, and I’d rather travel in the day where I have light. 

I also need to watch out for Araceli’s men. They’re still out there, searching for survivors. They haven’t found this house yet, and I prayed that it would stay that way. I hoped that I wouldn’t be woken up by an explosion.

Just one more night. Then I had to leave.

Alone in the bedroom, I watched the sunset once again. It reminded me of Violet. Oh, how much I wanted some company. I wanted her here. Again I imagined a conversation. She must’ve also been hearing me. She’d never miss a sunset either. If Araceli kept his word, and somewhere out there she was still alive, then I know she must be staring at the same sunset I was right now. It gave me a comforting feeling.

How are you doing? 

Fine. Where are you?

The middle of nowhere. You?

I can’t tell you. What have you been up to?

My parents died of hunger. I killed a boy.

You what? Why? Did you have to?

No. That’s the thing. I didn’t have to. But I was too hungry, and he was holding food, and I�"I, I just couldn’t think. 

But… why?

I clasped the sides of my head. I don’t know. I don’t know why. I guess I’m not as good as I thought. I’m just as bad as 

Randy. I hate the thought of it. 

What did Randy do? 

He killed me. 

Stop lying, I’m talking to you right now. Randy’s my friend too. Why do you keep saying such bad things about him? He would never kill you.

I shut her out. 

As I prepared for bed, I saw a shadow again. Just outside the door of my room. I flinched and hid behind the bed. Then it was gone. 

I stayed there, shaking. Then feeling ashamed for being so weak. But I couldn’t help it. I remembered my only fear. Too many people in the world that one was lead astray into our house. Because the person had nowhere else to go and nothing else to do.

I stayed there for a while. I wished someone was with me. Anyone. They just had to be human, that’s all. Not evil people. Not haunting shadows. 

Then I forgot what I had seen. All I remembered was that it was in the direction of the door. So I slowly snuck up and closed it. I didn’t want it open. It was creepy. Someone could just come here and slit my throat with a knife. 

I went under the covers of the bed. Hiding myself from any dangers. It felt like a deathbed. My chest was still so painful, every breath hurt. My arm was killing me too. Nobody was here with me, at least, nobody alive. The thought of the boy made me sick again. Everyone I loved was gone. Dead or alive, I would never see them again. Dad said to live my own life, to not let situations like these set you back, but how are you going to live if Araceli is constantly hunting for you, nobody left was with you, and 

things haunted you while you slept? 

My parents were dead. I had to kill a boy for food. Randy turned and is now following Araceli. Violet is dead or somewhere out there alone, going to be dead. My house was destroyed by Araceli. And things I can’t remember haunted me everywhere I go. And I’m still alive.

The last part on that list is the worst part. 

My chest was still hurting from the severe pressure. I felt it under my shirt with my hand. Then I felt my stomach. I could feel my ribcage. It was too scary to think about it. I was so malnourished I was basically a corpse. 

When the sun finally went down, and the room turned dark, I clenched my eyes and tears squeezed out. But this time, I knew the reason. I was scared. 

Don’t worry, I told myself. Tomorrow, I will have energy. I will find food. I will find other people. I will find new friends. I will get my life back. I can do this. 

This is it. My last night here. 

I didn’t want to be alone. So I tuned back in to my conversation with Violet, which gave me relief that I had someone to talk to. 

Part Two: Disaster

Ninth

A global epidemic has occurred in every part of the world. It is something mankind has never seen before. In the middle of the night, all humans who have ever been born and lived was suddenly brought back into the world. Scientists have said that about one hundred billion people who used to exist on this planet was brought back to life in the same age, clothes they were wearing, and geographical location as they were when they died. That being said, they will also have memory of their past old life before they were returned from the dead.”

I listened to the news as I packed my bags. Something has happened in the world, something big. It was usually Violet who watched the news and would share what she knew with me, but she wasn’t here this time. I watched it myself. 

“I repeat: every single person who has ever lived on this earth has suddenly been brought back to life. All the worst villains in history, all the best heroes that changed the world. With them coming back, the earth is at an unbelievable population of one hundred ten billion!”

“To those of you who think that maybe your loved ones can be brought back, no, it seems that people who have died recently will not come back.”

“The shock of the sudden impact on today’s population has angered Neos Araceli greatly. He has more work to do now in order to achieve his goal in a stable population.”

I smiled. Araceli had more than ten times the work now, 

and he couldn’t do that all in a few weeks. 

But before I heard the news about your loved ones not coming back, I had an overpowering urge to check the spot where my parents had died. Or maybe the boy first. The reporter had said they will remember their old life, so the boy will remember me killing him. I didn’t want that. And I didn’t have the heart to check either. 

“Scientists predict that with the global resources we have today, the people brought back to life in this global disaster will die shortly in the course of two months. Eventually. There is just not enough food for everyone. Not everyone can live. All over the world, people are already fighting each other for food. Killing each other. Bloodshed.”

I remembered what I did to the boy. Then I wished I hadn’t remembered. 

“Their deaths are necessary because only the strong can survive,” the reporter said, but I didn’t agree at all. “Now, let’s talk about facts of the one hundred billion people that used to live come back.”

“The majority of them are under the age of thirty three, since life expectancy was not that high back then. Most of them are infants, left alone without their mothers to die again in the places of their birth and death.”

The camera showed a crying baby on the ground in a field, and I forced myself to look away, disturbed. 

“The majority of them are in the country, since most were farmers back then. In the fields, in the forests, you’ll find them everywhere. They were brought back to life where they died, not where they were buried. Disease, slaughter, and famine were major causes in death before the industrial revolution.”

I turned off the TV. Something just made me not want to watch it anymore. I had enough information on what was going on in the world. Some big thing happened that nobody knew the cause of, and suddenly every dead person came back to life. Somehow. It didn’t make sense, but the news didn’t lie. 

So now there are more of us in the world now. So many that food will almost be impossible to find. So many that you could never be alone anymore, because there’s just not enough space. 

I have to go. Now. I’ve stayed here for too long going hungry. I need to find people that can help me. 

But first, I have to check on them. To see if they’re alive. To see if the news reporter was wrong. 

I didn’t even want to go near the backyard, so I went out the front door and just went around the house to the back. I followed the trail I believed I had taken when I found the house, but I just got myself lost. I was barely conscious then, and even now I’m even more drowsy because I’d gone without food for even longer than my past self who found this house. I didn’t recognize any trees, rocks, or hills. And I was still too tired and dizzy. Sooner or later I gave up. The reporter wouldn’t lie anyway. They’re dead and I couldn’t change that. 

I laid down on a field and rested there, feeling done with myself. That’s it. I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m going to die. 

I changed my mind in the afternoon, where I got more rest not knowing I had fallen asleep. I got up and decided I had enough strength to keep going. Just a few more trees. Just a few more trees, at the least. C’mon, I could do it. 

I saw a rabbit hopping around happily in the grass near me. I couldn’t help but think that it was so lucky. Its food was right here. It got everything it wanted. If it was here alive, then that must’ve meant water was around too. It had no problems in the world. Because it was a rabbit. 

I wished I could snatch it. So I could tear it apart, cook it, and eat it. But I knew that it was way too fast for me to even try. So I didn’t. It would be a huge waste of time and energy, which I don’t have a big supply for. 

Instead I just thought about what was happening in the world right now. Are people really doing the same as me, fighting others for their food to survive? Isn’t it scary that all the dead people came back to life suddenly with no explanation? Maybe the doors to the afterlife were opened or something. Everybody gets a second chance. But they are now in a terrible position. Araceli hunts them down without them even knowing it. Food and water are rare commodities now, and the amount of space they have is equal to zero. What can they do to survive in the modern world like this? 

And most of them are children, which haunted me. 

Life expectancy wasn’t that high back then. Most of the one hundred billion people that came back are children. Babies. They all died before they could live a life. How sad. Yet we can’t do anything to save them now, because there’s just not enough food. 

Sometimes I think that Araceli is right. There’s just no way we have enough food for everybody, even before the disaster happened. And now with the disaster happening, the world is going to starve. Why can’t we just all be rabbits and eat the grass? 

Araceli isn’t even going to have to do anything when we 

all starve. He won’t because he has control of all the farms in the world. He has enough food for all his followers and himself. He has nothing else to ask for, because he has everything. 

Everybody who came back probably wishes that they didn’t in this mad world. And they just made things harder for the living, too. Now how am I going to get food when there’s not enough for everyone? There’s none for us at all when Araceli has all of it. We’re all going to die. If the genocide doesn’t get us first. 

I told myself to stop thinking. I had to get out of this forest. Right now I was in the middle of nowhere. But I didn’t have any strength left. I stopped again to take a rest, even though I desperately didn’t want one. I just had to. I was too hungry. 

I sat against the tree, panting, which turned to wheezing. I was in no condition to travel. Maybe I should just rest here for a long, long time…

Then I saw a person. 

In the trees. He didn’t see me yet. I remembered what I’d thought when I saw the news. There are so many people in the world, it’s impossible to be alone. He could be dangerous. He could be crazy. I picked myself up and got behind the tree to hide. 

The movement and noise brought his attention. He moved closer, and I got a good look at him. He was an old man, but not just any old man. A native. An aboriginal. Wearing cotton clothes with feather designs, and a war bonnet, with the feathers sticking out everywhere. 

“Come out, child,” he called to me. “I won’t hurt you.”

I didn’t why, but I didn’t want to look like a child in

front of this old man. I certainly didn’t feel like a child. I had a weapon. I could fight. I could kill. 

I came out from behind the tree. 

“What is your name?”

“Eliwin,” I said. “Call me Eli. Who are you?”

“My name is Silencio. An elder of a tribe of people full of me, but now I don’t know where I am or where they are. I remember my death, but suddenly it’s as if it didn’t happen. Are you a, what did they call them… a colonist?”

“No,” I said. “No, I’m not a colonist. That was hundreds of years ago. You’ve come back from the dead.”

It was depressing to find out two things. That the news was right about everything, the disaster is really happening. And that people who came back also don’t have any clue on why they did. 

“What do you mean?” the old man asked. 

“It happened this morning. Something happened, I don’t know. But suddenly everybody who didn’t die recently came back to life with the memory of their old life.”

“Are you talking about reincarnation, my child?”

“I don’t know. But it could be. Just a big one, with everyone on the planet.”

Silencio looked at my chest and saw me wheezing. “Is your chest hurting, boy?”

I nodded. “Long story.”

He rummaged through a satchel he wore on himself, and brought out a few herbs. He handed them to me. 

“If you chew on them a bit, then spread over your lungs, it’ll heal quicker. But you won’t get any immediate relief.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “It has been hurting for weeks now, I didn’t think it would get better.”

“It may not seem like it will work, but I know a lot about the medicines the plants in the forest give you. Trust me.”

I already did trust him. Having a wise expert on the forest on my side calmed me. I started to chew the leaves. They tasted bitter, and I knew they weren’t from a tree. Some minty plant not around here or something. I did as instructed, though. Spreading it over my chest, spilling out a spicy aroma. 

“So, where are we?” he asked. “I know this is home. I recognize the maple trees.”

“I don’t even know,” I said honestly. “I’m too hungry to go anywhere.”

“I have some food,” he said. He brought out cooked dead rabbit from his satchel as well. My mouth watered at the smell. 

He gave it to me and I ate it hungrily. The only time I stopped chewing was to ask him, “You did this all in the morning?” 

“I know how to hunt, yes,” he said. “I’m too weak to use a bow now, I used a trap to catch the animal.”

Silencio looked up at the sky. “You’re lucky, boy. If what you say about people coming back from the dead is true, then I could have equally been likely to be a crazy killer that appeared in these woods.”

“I don’t think so,” I said. “They said the people came back in the same geographical location. So what made you die in the middle of these woods?”

It seemed like an odd question, but the old man didn’t mind. “A bear. I was carrying a message as an elder to another tribe, then the beast came out of nowhere and attacked. I don’t know if my people found out, but the 

message was never sent then.”

I winced. “Ouch.”

The old man and I walked through the forest together. He had said that he knew the forest well. He knew where all the nearby tribes were. If they also came back from the dead then they would still be there. He knew where civilization was and ended. In return I explained everything he has missed over the few hundred years he’s been dead, and explain what houses are like now and what cities looked like, even though I have only seen a few of them. Mostly on TV. They always seemed like big, happy environments, filled with many happy people. I also explained everything that was going on in the world, every last detail on Araceli, his plans, and the disaster which was something new that started today. 

“My tribe is nowhere near here,” he said. “They would be on the other side of the forest if we were to go there.”

“Do you want to go there?” I asked him. 

“No,” he said, chuckling. “No. If the world has turned as bad as you’ve been saying, then I rather trust myself with you than my people who also came back from the dead. You’re an expert on the new world, eh?”

I wouldn’t call myself an expert, but I didn’t say it so Silencio could feel as safe as he feels now, finding someone not from the disaster. Someone born this century. I felt the same having Silencio with me. Maybe he didn’t know anything about today, but he had lots of knowledge about using nature to survive, which is exactly what I needed. Someone who can hunt to keep us both filled, and who knew things about the forest I didn’t know. Like how to find water. he had said water always flows downstream, so always go downhill to find it. A simple gravity rule that I didn’t even think about, but it was so logical. It made perfect sense. 

“Why did you go alone?” I asked him. “Why did nobody go with you? You’re an elder.”

“I chose to, boy. I wanted to.”

I didn’t ask why. Probably a long story. I had many long stories too that I didn’t want to share. Keep personal things personal. 

We found a road in the forest that must lead to somewhere. After taking a few minutes to explain what a road was to Silencio after he was intrigued by it, we picked a direction and began to follow the road. Wherever it went, we followed. I wanted to cover as much distance as possible every single hour we had here, so we could get to civilization faster, so we only stopped so Silencio could set up snares to catch small wild animals for food, or finding a stream for water. 

The sky turned dark quick, and we had no intention tiring ourselves even more by traveling at night, so we chose to camp nearby a fallen log. Silencio instructed me on how to start a fire, and we had plenty of food we saved in his satchel for eating dinner, and for later meals. We had bottles of water we filled up from the many streams we found, and none of us had injuries or sicknesses. I was healthy, and I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Over the day Silencio’s medicine was working its magic to heal my lungs, or soothe it somehow. It felt better, and now I was sure that it wasn’t going to be a permanent thing. 

I was happy. Because I had everything I needed. Even a friend for company. I got everything I asked for today. Pain relief, food, water, survival knowledge, people. I couldn’t ask for anything else. If I did I was afraid that fate would find me selfish and take things away from me. No, I was completely fine with everything I had. I was safe as well. I was even clean, because I had taken a shower in the house I had left in the morning before I watched the news. 

Today I even peeled off the bandage that covered my arm for weeks, afraid to see what was underneath. When I tripped in that community centre with broken glass all over the floor, I felt as if it had ripped open again. I found out that it had healed nicely, and I washed the leftover blood over the stream. I was so lucky it didn’t get infected at all, maybe because it wasn’t such a deep gash. Silencio offered some medicine he knew that would make sure it wouldn’t get infected, but I figured it was fine if I’d been going on this long and had no problems with it. 

In the campfire, Silencio told old aboriginal ghost stories under the sunset. I wasn’t too scared, Mom and Dad had been telling them to Randy and I when we were young, so we built up a tolerance to horror as we grew up. Dad knew that’s what would happen if he scared us when we were little, so he was smart for doing that. We’re used to it now. We’re comfortable with getting scared. 

Then he asked what brought me here, all alone in the woods. I told him my story, everything that finally lead up to me being here. 

I got to the part of me finding an already dead boy inside the shed of a house holding food�"a lie I told him so I didn’t seem crazy to him�"until I saw a shadow of a person lurking in the firelight somewhere in the bushes. 

“Jeez!” I jumped in my seat, which was the fallen log we 

had found. I didn’t know what came over me, but seeing a third shadow in the light was creepy. It seemed unnatural, and recently hearing Silencio’s ghost stories just made it seem more real. More scary. 

“What is it boy?” he said, his voice and posture alarmed. 

“I don’t know…” I said, seeming to have forgotten what I was about to say. That was the first time that ever happened to me. My heart rate had increased dramatically, and I thought I was going to hyperventilate. 

“Slow down,” an old man beside me said. No, not just any old man. Silencio. I remembered where I was now. And who I was with. “Tell me what you saw.”

“What did I see?” I asked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Did you see a shadow?”

Then it all came flooding back. Every time I saw the shadow. I remembered. That time I saw it with Violet in the fields when we were little. I remembered the shape of it now. All the other times I saw it, when nobody was there, I remembered. And right now, where I saw it the closest it was to me than it’s ever been before. No, I was wrong, this wasn’t the first time it happened to me. It’s happened to me multiple times, and every single time I forget about it. I don’t know why, but I forget the experience. But suddenly having Silencio remind me brought incredible pain to my head. I clutched it hard, groaning. 

“Get… out… of my head!” I said, hitting the side of my head hard. “I don’t know what it was Silencio, but I saw it. And now I remember. I’ve been seeing it all my life. It’s a shadow that haunts me. But I’ve never been haunted because I forget about it the moment it’s gone, every time I 

see it. I don’t know what it is, but please, help.”

Silencio’s eyes turned dark. “I know what it is, boy. There is an old legend spread among my folk who had it too, but you have to fight the pain if you are to tell me what you saw.”

I controlled my breathing, and the pain in my head eased. This time I didn’t forget what I saw. I remembered it clearly. I explained it to Silencio in detail. As I did I recalled every single time I’ve seen it in my life. Talking with Violet in the wheat fields. Many nights at home. Every time I watched Dad wash our car. In the community centre. In the house in the woods. Why was I the only one who had it, and not Randy? Or Violet? Or her parents or mine? Or every person I watch on TV, or every child and parents Violet and I see in the town we walk to so we could get ice cream? Why am I the only one being haunted, and why do I forget the experience?

I must have drifted away from reality, because Silencio had grabbed my shoulders and was shaking me, and I was trying to regain focus of my vision.

“Eliwin, what you saw was a twin soul,” he said. “Do you know that in the belief of reincarnation, the soul of the living thing forgets everything about their past life when they enter the next?”

I nodded, fully listening.

“In the twin soul effect, two people who used to share the same soul has to be both alive at the same time. So your soul, in your body, used to be in another body, correct? That body must be alive right now, and your soul is having a hard time splitting itself in half between you two. Your partner, or, twin soul, is going through the same thing as you are. He is being haunted by your shadow, maybe having accent changes, which is another symptom I know of from having a twin soul, and�"”

“Wait,” I said, cutting him off. “What did you just say? Did you say accent changes are a symptom too?”

“Yes,” he said. “Do you have them as well?”

“Every time I get angry. I didn’t think it wasn’t normal. I thought it happened to some people when they get too angry to talk straight. But why do I forget seeing the shadows then?”

“Simple rules or reincarnation,” he said. “Rebirthing in a new body means you have to forget every single thing about your old life. Having two bodies for the soul to own, it’s confused on that aspect. It’s trying to make you forget the shadow you see of your twin soul, because it’s not used to having both of you alive together. And don’t worry, you’re not getting the worst of it. I know that some people can get triplet souls, or quadruple. Or if the soul is really old and has been through reincarnation many, many times, even more than four. Your lucky your soul has only been through rebirth once, or else you’d have triple or more shadows haunting you, and the pain is much, much worse.”

I already couldn’t stand the pain of having one twin soul, so I guess he was right. I was lucky. 

“Remember,” he said. “The only way a twin soul effect can occur is when both bodies a soul has been in are both alive at the same time. Since that is merely impossible, that’s why the ghost stories I hear are called ghost stories for a reason. Because they’re not true. But ever since you’ve told me about this impossible thing that happened this morning, about everybody dead coming back to life, then maybe twin soul effects can happen now. Maybe the stories can be true now. ”

My eyes widened. Yes, they were possible now. It made sense. Except for one thing. 

“But, there’s one problem,” I said, “I’ve been seeing these shadows long before today. Ever since I was a little kid.”

The old man’s face darkened, which worried me. “That could only mean one thing. That the disaster that happened today, it didn’t start today. It’s been going on. For years. Maybe longer. Dead people have been walking on the earth far longer than today. And they have memory of their old life, so they know they died, but told nobody.”

That scared me. So much that I was frozen, scared to even move as it sinked in. That was one more problem for us people living our first life. The dead are coming back, and we have even more people to save, other than us. Food is going to be priceless soon, one feast usually a hundred dollars, now a single grain of corn a hundred dollars.

I was so afraid that I actually thought I was going to start hyperventilating. “Why is this happening? Do you know?”

“Sadly, no,” he said. “I do not. It is abnormal to me. Listen boy, you’re going to forget this night tomorrow, I’m sure of it. Your soul will erase your memory again, and everything I tell you tonight will be gone. And there is no use for me to remind you again, since you will feel the pain of remembering again, get scared again, and for no use because you’re just going to forget it all again.”

“Please,” I said, my voice shaking, “how do I stop it?”

“There’s only one way,” he said. “It may be one you might not like. The other twin soul must die. You have to find the person, and kill him or her. When you see your twin soul, you will remember again everything I told you tonight. And you will remember me telling you that you have to kill the twin soul. That is the only way your soul can be back to the way it was, only controlling one body.”

He began to gently push me down on the thick log. “Right now you must get some sleep. You’ve been disturbed, haunted. In the morning you’ll forget all about it. And the shadows you’ve seen.”

I couldn’t sleep with all that in my mind. I had to forget about it now, or else I couldn’t sleep. I had to find my twin soul? How would I do that? Maybe it would be easier if my twin soul found me. It could be anyone, of any age and size. Or what if it wasn’t a human at all? Did Silencio think of that? Maybe if this reincarnation thing was true, what if my soul could have used to be inside a creature?

Sooner or later I did sleep though. With the thought that there’s someone out there, who used to be me. Or better yet, I used to be that person. And the thought that people have been coming back from the dead with no explanation long before everybody thought it started. Long before today. 

I did not sleep well that night.

Tenth

We made it out of the forest. I was back in familiar grounds, but still unfamiliar territory. The one different thing about this city was that it was bustling. But they weren’t in a normal day. As we walked through the streets, I saw doctors taking care of wounds, people beating each other up for food, kids hugging their parents, scared. Damage had also been done to buildings and streets all around. So this place wasn’t untouched by Araceli, but it still thrived. A huge group of survivors. It almost seemed like those rebel camps I heard about on the radio with Mom and Dad. The ones that were being planned to bomb upon. Maybe they were already all destroyed. Then what was this place doing here?

We met a person who told us all about it. Araceli’s men came and left. Some people hid. A lot traveled here, like Silencio and I. And most, which he explained as like eighty percent, were people that came back from the dead. Like Silencio. He told us the survivors, including himself, tried to help these people stay alive in this new devastating world. 

That’s exactly what I thought the world should do. But now most of the world agreed with Araceli, that we should just kill them all. There’s not even nearly enough food for us all, not even the ones that were already alive on the planet. Well, it used to be most of the world that agreed because before the disaster over half the population joined him, so there weren’t many good people left, compared to them. But with the disaster happening, with one hundred billion people suddenly appearing, there were way too many people that didn’t like Araceli now, and he had way more to imprison, torture, and kill. He wasn’t even a well known face among the people that came back. Probably most of them didn’t know about him, and didn’t know they were being hunted. That was his problem. He liked to strike fear into everyone who would fall victim to him before he killed them, but nobody even knew him. Much less fear him. 

“How do you stay alive?” Silencio asked the man. “Where do you get your food?”

“Honestly, nowhere,” he said. “This is like the fifth day we started this place, and most of us go hungry. We can’t do anything about it, there’s just no food. Araceli bombed all the food markets. We’ve been scavenging in other buildings for food. Every refrigerator we can find.”

“What about when Araceli comes back?” I asked. “Doesn’t he know you guys are here?”

“We’re off the radar for now. For the most part I don’t think he knows about us. He’s never come so we never had to prepare for an attack. We can only hope it stays that way.”

“We need to be more prepared,” Silencio advised. “They will come, no matter what. And we can’t just hide. Are you sure we can’t do something?”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, but no. I have to get to work now, they need me. Enjoy the city.”

I was not enjoying the city. Everywhere we went we saw hungry people. Injured people. All of them going to die. 

“I should have told him that we could learn to hunt,” 

Silencio said. “Or set up traps at least. We’re a bit far from the forest now but there are animals there. You saw them yourself. There could be a lot. Maybe, just maybe enough to feed all these hungry people.”

I crossed my arms. “I doubt it. There’s probably not even enough animals in there to feed themselves.”

“Nonsense. It was a huge forest. Plentiful. If we just went back to the old ways of hunting and fishing, we’d be fine.”

“A lot of people here aren’t used to a life without electricity,” I said. “They couldn’t learn to live lives like that. Not anymore. Not once they learned to live modern lives.”

“It’s the only way. The Araceli person you told me about wouldn’t see it coming. We could live our lives under the shadows. Many of these people have lost families anyway. It’s better to start new lives here, and ignore Araceli and the past.”

“Araceli will sweep the entire earth for any remaining survivors. We can’t live a life like that knowing we’re being hunted. We can’t live a life in fear.”

“Well then at least we can get food from the forest,” he said. “We should go back and get hunting again.”

“No, not anymore,” I said. “It’s too far. And we’re not staying here.”

“Where are we going? Do you have a destination you’ve been wanting to reach?”

I thought about it. Well, no, but I just didn’t want to stay here. It felt wrong. Unsafe. Just a gut feeling that we should keep moving instead of making ourselves a big target. 

I guess it’s because I didn’t want to share anything. The 

food Silencio found by trapping animals was only for ourselves, and it was kept that way if there were only two of us. If everybody found out we knew how to get food, we would have the responsibility of having to share. I guess it was a bit selfish, but I still saw it that way. In this world everybody helped themselves. 

But I guess it was no harm for Silencio to teach them about how to get food. But then that’s it. We’re going. Let them get their own food, and then we get outta here. I just had bad feelings about this place. There was nothing sinister about it, but I just couldn’t stand seeing so many helpless people, while I myself wasn’t helpless. Silencio taught me how to set up traps, and together we could find our own food. Fresh, too. Right out of the wild. 

Was I hogging Silencio’s knowledge? He wanted to stay here forever and help these people, because he was a good person. I wanted to leave these people with the knowledge on how to hunt and then leave ourselves. Maybe I was the wrong one, maybe I am being selfish. I was basically leaving these people to survive on their own, themselves. While I would take Silencio with me because he was a weapon of survival and keep moving. To a place I didn’t even know. I guess I really didn’t have a destination.

“No, I guess not,” I told him. “Okay fine, we’ll stay here in the city. Maybe for a while, maybe forever. Just a long time, I know that. And we’ll teach these people how to find food, and prepare ourselves too for when Araceli attacks. Who knows, we may have a trained, nourished army of fighters by then.”

The old man smiled. “You said we couldn’t hunt. The forest is too far.”

Oh yeah, that’s right. “We’ll have to move then. Away from these buildings which give us beds and clean water. If these people are really desperate for food, then we have to. Maybe we can even switch back between the two places. Every time we go to the forest we hunt a lot, the bring back all our food. I’m just worried that the forest will run out of food if we keep doing that. There’re a lot of people here.”

“No, I have a better idea,” he said. “I only teach a big group, and they will be a hunting group. We go to the forest maybe almost every day, and we get as much food as we can to bring home with us for all of us.”

“Yeah, that actually sounds like a plan,” I said. “Can I be in your hunting group?”

“Of course. I’ll also need strong men and women, so maybe the man that helped us earlier can tell me all about it. Maybe he can join too. And they need to make an announcement about it. It’s going to be our responsibility to feed these people.”

I just wanted to learn how to hunt so that I could do it myself if I had to. Whenever I needed food. So then I’ll never be hungry again. 

“Sounds good,” I said. 

Silencio left me alone for a bit to go tell that man about it, and I tried to dwell in the fact that I was going to stay here my whole life. Maybe it wasn’t too bad. I had everyone I wanted here, which was no one, we would thrive under the rules of the forest, and still have the clean water lifestyle of ordinary lives. I didn’t worry much about not having my brother here, or Violet, since one turned evil and one vowed to kill me on sight. Maybe I could just make new friends. 

The announcement brought joy to many people. They wanted food, and they were going to get it. Some were turning crazy without it, threatening to kill us if they didn’t bring some back for them. I didn’t think they were serious, but who knew, they could’ve spent weeks here, longer than anyone else, and they were so hungry they’d snatch a bug out of the air and stuff it in their mouth. 

Whatever the case, they wouldn’t hurt us, I was sure of it. And we weren’t even hunters yet, only learning. Maybe it would be a few more days before we actually caught enough food for at least every person in the camp. I hope sooner, but that was the best scenario. The worst one is where we don’t get any food at all.

Silencio led us back to the forest, about thirty of us, on a long walk through destroyed roads and railways. In about two hours, with many breaks because the sun was way too hot, we got there. 

Silencio split us up to hunters and fishers. I chose to be a hunter. Then he taught each of us everything he knew. He was a good teacher, I’d tell you that. Maybe because he was an elder in his tribe. In hours before nightfall, we were accomplishing basic stuff. The fishers were catching fish by stabbing them with spears in a river. The hunters were setting up as many traps as we could, and we were still learning how to use a bow. Well, Silencio wanted us to use a bow, even though we could shoot, and we could use that instead. Guns. But he wanted us to stick to the ways he learned growing up. Some of us didn’t follow and chose to put a bullet through their prey instead, and Silencio told them he couldn’t teach them anything about that, so they were left on their own. 

I really tried to use a bow, but I was just like everyone else. I gave up on it and I wanted to use the pistol that my dad gave me. 

“Don’t feel ashamed,” Silencio had told me, “I understand. This is not my time, it’s yours. It’s okay if nobody wants to use the bow. It’s an old weapon in this world now.”

I nodded, even though I still felt ashamed, like somehow I let him down or something. 

“Don’t stand too close to the trap you set up,” he told me, referring to the one close by. “They’ll see you there, and they won’t even come near to the lure inside of it if they see you. You’re supposed to leave and check later if you’ve caught anything. Here, follow me and I’ll show you better hunting grounds.”

Of course I knew that, but not everyone else did. They put their traps too close to each other, that’s why I had to put mine out here. 

Silencio told me to stay quiet when walking through the forest, or we could scare all the prey off. I mean, even if we didn’t, we’d still only get one chance since the moment I fire my gun all of them will run away. 

He told me basics I already knew, but it still felt reassuring when I heard him say them. Water sources like streams rivers and lakes are where animals will be nearby, because all animals need water to survive. Fish will be there too. So if you’re hunting in the middle of the forest not finding anything, maybe you’re too far from water, and that means the animals are too. 

Tracks could also be essential to finding them. Maybe not the actual animal, he had said, but if you could find a track that lead to like a hole, then it must be a rabbit hole. Those are perfect places to put your traps in. He showed me how to do it, too. Not the usual snare. Just a basket strong enough you know the rabbit can’t escape it, put it over the hole, stand it up with a stick to trick the rabbit with sunlight, thinking the hole’s still open. And when you come back either the rabbit didn’t come out yet, or you see a basket with something hopping around inside of it, trying to escape. You could even add a carrot or something as a lure, if you wanted to. 

He showed me all types of other tracks too. Deer, elk, moose, and even bear tracks, because yes, bears are edible and some people eat them. Even wild chicken, turkey, and hog tracks, which I wasn’t sure lived in a forest like this, so far up north. 

“The forest can give it all,” he said. “Plentiful, like I said. And it seems your Araceli friend doesn’t know a thing about it, because the forests are untouched. He thinks you rely on your modern day food sources, because he does to. He doesn’t know hunting can feed us our entire lives. When other camps hear about this, they might want to do the same, and then, nobody goes hungry.”

I wasn’t so sure about that. Today, the whole afternoon, we caught basically nothing so far. And it wasn’t because we were beginners at hunting. There just weren’t many animals. I wasn’t surprised. Ever since we reached ten billion people on the planet, food became very scarce and limited. As farmers, we never worried about it, and that’s why I’m not used to always not having enough food in this new world, because I never had that problem. Everyone else did. Hunting and fishing was very limited by the governments, to try and save our food sources. As a result people started dying of starvation across the world, because there just wasn’t enough foods from farms like ours. Our wheat fields could only make as much bread as they always could, unless we expanded them. But there was no space, with urbanization going on. More space taken by more people, less food for those people. Grocery stores were always almost empty, with everyone buying them as fast as possible, hogging it all for their families. So then those stores were in high demand for our farm products. Each one came as businessmen to Mom and Dad and Violet’s parents, offering higher prices for our products, one after the next. So we were living the life, we had so much money, and we kept enough food for ourselves, because we had as much as we wanted. 

The governments allowed hunting and fishing again when starvation raged across the countries. Even the first world countries. As a result, animals and fish started disappearing drastically, and basically no more was left. I really didn’t want to tell this to Silencio, because I didn’t want to bring his spirits down that there may be almost no animals left in this forest, and in every forest left in the world. 

But I still saw hope, because I did see a rabbit in that field I took a rest in, happily hopping around so cute and furry, finding grass for itself to eat. That rabbit gave me hope that maybe this forest was untouched like Silencio said, but not by Araceli, but by hunters. Modern hunters that went hunting in hunting season. 

I was glad that Silencio was teaching us. He could be our key to survival, and he was a person from the disaster. 

“I’m just worried that the forest might not have enough animals to feed us all,” I decided as an answer, making him believe there are animals in this forest, just not enough to feed us all. “Who knows how many people we have in our camp. Thousands, I can already tell. With more travellers finding their way here, and there could be even more people deeper in the city. How are there going to be enough animals to even feed one thousand people?”

The old man sighed, and I felt worried I’d done what I didn’t want to, bring down his spirits.

“Sorry, but I had to admit it. How can thirty people bring back enough food? We can’t even carry that much food, and that much food might not even be in this forest. And also we have to keep it up every day, for our entire lives. This forest might not be as bountiful to feed us all like that.”

“Do not apologize, boy, you are right,” he said, his expression looking weary. “I wanted to start with thirty people. Then those people will teach everyone else, and soon we may have a thousand people hunting for everyone else. But now that I see the truth, I can finally stop lying to myself. This forest is big, I know that because I spent my entire old life in it, but maybe not big enough to support us all.”

“Then… then what are we going to do?”

He looked around for anyone. Then he whispered, “Let’s make a pact. Keep the food we hunt to ourselves.”

I raised my eyebrows. “I thought you wanted to help all these people.”

“I do, but there’s clearly not enough food, not at all. Do you have any people you want to keep alive here?”

“No.”

“Then just us two, everything we find we keep it to ourselves. If we have extra, then we give it to those people. There’s just not enough, better we get the food and not them. Because we hunted the food ourselves. If we die before them, that’d make no sense, we taught them how to hunt.”

Better we get the food and not them. I remember my dad saying something like that. Is this really the rule of the new world after the disaster?

“Deal?” he said. 

I thought about it. It was kind of true that if we died of hunger before the people, that would be unfair, since we did these people a favour by showing them how to get food. Maybe Silencio wasn’t selfish, but logical. We needed to be kept alive if we were to keep on teaching these people how to get food. 

“Deal,” I said. 

Then he changed the subject, obviously not comfortable with it. “Is that your only gun? It’s too loud. I’ve seen others shoot it when they hunt, and theirs looks exactly like yours.”

He meant my pistol, probably the most common weapon everyone had. Light and reliable. “Yeah. For real hunting you’re supposed to use hunting rifles, which I think are silenced so animals won’t get scared. They go really far, so you can snipe animals from within tall grasses. Modern hunters are kinda funny. They wear like leaves all over them and attract animals to them with their horns that make animal sounds when they blow into them.”

Silencio chuckled. Then after a moment of listening to the forest sounds for animals, he said, “In the winter, we can harvest the sugar maple trees for their syrup. I see many of them here, in this forest.”

“I know how to do it,” I said. 

“You do? Where did you learn?”

“I lived in a farm, remember? In the winter my father brought me to the forest to show me how.”

“Oh, good. Because I don’t know how.”

“What?”

He chuckled again. “Yes, I never learned. The thought just occurred to me when I thought about what we were going to have to go through in winter. I’m glad someone here other than me has the knowledge about it.”

Then I remembered the winter. Oh, the long, harsh winter. I had forgotten all about it. The animals will be really scarce by then, and what would we do about the cold?

I was starting to doubt the survival of all the people here. Especially since we barely had any food, and Araceli was still out there to get us. I didn’t have to worry about the food, though. Well, maybe if even this forest ran out of animals to feed even two people. 

“I have to get back teaching other people,” Silencio said. He left, and I decided to rest and enjoy the sunset before I would check my traps again, and then we would leave for home. 

I even dozed off a couple of times. One time a kid appeared beside me. “Heavy sleeper, huh?”

I answered back with a mumble. “What’s a kid like you hunting out here?”

“Says the kid,” he replied. 

I realized he was right. I sat up and took a closer look at him, and he was big. Could’ve easily mistaken him for a 

man. Maybe that’s how he got recruited. 

“How old are you?” I asked him. 

“Fourteen. I’ve hunted before, so that’s why I’m here. If that’s what you’re wondering.”

Oh. Well I could still be right that his height played a winning factor of him being a hunter instead of all the capable people back at camp.

“How old are you?” he asked. 

“Thirteen. Name’s Eliwin. Call me Eli.”

“Theodore. Call me Theo. You don’t look so small for your age.”

“I was thinking the same about you.”

He didn’t answer back, just stared at the sky, as if waiting for something. I studied him.

“Honestly, it’s hard to get a read on you,” I said. “Why’re you out here?”

“I’m waiting for the stars to come out. No light pollution here, my cousin told me. I’ve never seen them in my life.”

Well, that was sad. “I lived on a farm. I saw them everyday. Believe me, it’s kinda the same when you’ve seen the exact thing over and over again.”

“They won’t be the same here, duh.”

“The stars change?”

He laughed. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day! Are you even educated?”

I didn’t want to get mad, so I just laughed with him. “I’m no city boy.”

“Sorry, I should’ve known that,” he said. “Why are you out here?”

I sighed, thinking of what to say. I was here because I knew Violet wold be watching the sky too, but I didn’t want to say that. Instead I tapped my knee and said, “I dunno.” I got up. “I’m gonna check my traps. Did you catch anything yet?”

“Two rabbits,” he said. “That’s it. You know why there aren’t many of em’, right?”

I nodded. “Let’s hope I have better luck. See ya around.”

“See ya.”

As I found each of my traps hidden woods to check if I had caught anything, I thought about what Silencio had said. Do you have any people you want to keep alive here?

Maybe. Just maybe it could be the three of us, instead of just Silencio and I that kept most of the food to ourselves. After all, Theo and I could be the youngest ones in the entire group, and Silencio might as well be the oldest. Wait, no, I saw a lot of little kids too when Silencio and I walked through the camp our first time. They were all hungry. 

Just a squirrel. That’s it. I set up at least five, all around the entire forest area that we were allowed, and I just caught one squirrel. I wasn’t too surprised. I was even ready to find nothing. 

When it began to turn dark we gathered up together and collected all the food that we found. Silencio also taught some people how to harvest edible fruits, tree barks, and roots that they put in a basket. For our first day, we didn’t do too bad. We mostly got fish, not a small amount but not a big one either. A couple of small animals, someone caught a wild turkey, and that’s it. Lots of people reported deer and moose further north deeper into the forest that escaped when they chased after it. Nobody saw any bears, which was good. They might be gone for good, actually. There aren’t a lot of bears left in the world.

The food we got was barely enough to feed us for a week. It was even more depressing to think that we needed to share it with the whole camp.

Even though every single one of us knew that, Silencio complimented and thanked everybody for the work we did and we carried the baskets home. 

Nobody was too impressed back home. Silencio and I already had our share of food we secretly kept to ourselves, and the rest we left for the people to decide who was the hungriest so they could give it to them. Basically everybody was the hungriest, and people started fighting over for it, yelling. I didn’t want to take part in it, to see everybody on the verge of death fighting for what may save them. This is all the we got for them, let them deal with it. 

The same man that first met us in the city, I learned that his name was Mason, showed Silencio and I rooms we could each stay in for as long as we wanted. I wanted to go to sleep right away, so I went in while Silencio had a long talk with the man outside his room. 

I slammed my hand on the lights to shut them off and fell on my bed, exhausted. 

Not a moment too soon the door opened and I forced myself to stay awake before I dozed off. It was just Silencio. He had turned on the lights.

I sat up. “What did he say?”

“People are angry. He wants us to get more food. Just as much as possible. This is not enough at all.”

I exhaled. Of course we needed to get more. But what else can we do? 

“It’s okay, we’ll get more,” I told him. “A person from the disaster shouldn’t get this much responsibility anyway.”

“But I’m used to being an elder.”

“Yeah, I know.”

He had a moment or realization when it occurred to him what I was saying. “You’re right. I’m dumb, I’m old, I’m scared. But I’m hundreds of years young at the same time.  I’m still too vulnerable to your world, with your diseases and whatnot. The share of food should go to the people, not me, because I’m going to die soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m old,” he said. “And it’s not just that. I have a feeling, like a bad omen feeling. That there’s going to be bloodshed.”

“When?” I asked. I’m not sure if I really believed in that kind of stuff, but right now I didn’t care. If it was real or not, we had to be prepared. “Maybe we could stop it.”

“I don’t know when, and it might not even happen. For all I know my mind is catching up with the time I’m in, and the feeling I’m getting is meant for the past. For now, don’t worry about it. And sorry to scare you, but I’m not going to die soon. Not at all. I was just… just feeling a little depressed.”

“That’s normal,” I said. “Indigenous people feeling depressed in the modern world. It happens to them.”

“Why?”
“Well, their home was kind of taken by the colonists, that thought is depressing enough to me.”

“Oh. So it did happen? The colonization?”

“Yes. Don’t worry, we’re not evil. You should get some sleep, it’s late.”

“Yes, yes, I’m sorry.” He turned around and went for the door. “Good night, Eliwin.”

“Good night.”

When the lights were back off I crashed on the bed again and didn’t even bother to do anything else but sleep, sleep, sleep. 

I felt like it wasn’t even thirty seconds before I had a dream. A powerful one, it chilled me to the bone. I was somewhere else, and soon I had forgotten the events of the real world, and I was back with my family. All dressed in nice suits for some reason, like we were at a special occasion. Everywhere people were talking and drinking wine. I didn’t recognize them but somehow I knew they were part of my extended family. 

I looked around until I saw a decorated casket up at the front. Then it hit me. A funeral.

I found my parents somewhere and asked where I was.

“Silly Eli,” Mom said, “Your grandfather’s funeral, of course! How could you forget?”

Somehow I instantly knew he was on my father’s side. It seemed weird to me. Dad never told us that he had went to his father’s funeral. He had said that when he left he never visited them again, even when they died. I guess it was too important to not go to his funeral, at least. 

“Here, drink some wine,” Dad said, offering a wine glass. 

“I don’t want to. I mean, I can’t.”

“You have to. There’s poison in it.”

“Why would I want to drink it then?” I said, thinking my parents were crazy.

“Someone just died,” Mom said. “How can you live with that fact?”

I took a look at everybody else, drinking the same exact 

wine. “Everybody wants to die?”

“They have to, it was my father’s choice,” Dad said. “You’re not leaving until you drink this wine. He wanted everyone he knew to do it when he died. Nobody has a problem with it, except you. Why would you not want to die, to give up, after someone you knew just died? How can you live with the fact that you’re never going to see them anymore? You can’t. Just die, it’s a way out of the misery.”

“You’re talking about suicide,” I said. “That’s never right.”

“You’re going to drink this wine, whether you want to or not, before you step one foot out the doorway.”

I had a slow moment of panic rise up in my chest. I was going to die. Because of me. This was going to be my last night, the final hours or minutes that I would feel before I would just disappear, and then I would feel nothing at all. It was so depressing to think that I wouldn’t see the morning, I wouldn’t see another day. This is going to be my last memory. My last night on earth.

And something wasn’t right about what Dad said. He had said that his father wanted all of us to drink the poison. He wouldn’t kill everyone he ever knew and loved. No, Dad said that his father loved him. That’s why he was sometimes abusive, because my dad did dangerous things when he was little and his parents were so scared to think that their youngest child was going to die. Every time Dad did something so scary that threatened his life, his parents thought that they would never get to see his little smile and laugh ever again. They forced discipline into him, and that’s why they had to be mean to him, because my dad was just as strong as them. He could take as many hits as them. 

“No,” I said. It came out louder than I expected, because people gasped, wine glasses dropped, and I found everybody staring at me. I didn’t care. 

“I’m not going to drink that wine,” I told all of them. “Hear this message. A loved one’s death doesn’t mean the end of yours, too. When somebody dies, it’s a moment of strength that you receive from that person, that makes you continue, that makes you go on, that makes you keep pushing harder. We do not let death stop us, because it is not the end. It’s the beginning for something new, something we all have to face. In the end, we’re all going to die, whether it be to an apocalypse or simple old age. But that is what makes life so precious, so important. We would not value our lives if not for the fear of death. 

“We all have to face death at some point, but that’s why we treasure the precious time that we have. Drinking poison is wasting it, it’s insulting because you were born with the gift of life but didn’t care at all. When someone dies, you move on. You may mourn for some time, but you can’t do it forever. Because when a person dies they don’t want you to get too caught up in their death. They want you to move on, to live a life that they had, or a life that they never had. Moving on is the most important thing anyone can do. If we keep moving backwards, we get nowhere. Only to the same places we’ve been to, the same places we’ve experienced. No, you want to explore new worlds, new experiences. Don’t think of death as the end, because really it’s the beginning. After you die, who knows where you will go? Nobody, because nobody has come back from the dead. It’s an adventure waiting for you.”

I thought of Silencio, and all the people that were 

resurrected back to life in the disaster. So many people that died, but they didn’t let that death stop them from trying to thrive in the new world. Because they understood that their lives are important. They didn’t let their deaths stop them. 

“It’s us, and only us, that make the decisions that we choose for ourselves, because we were born with free will. Letting someone else choose for you means that you really don’t want your gift of life. Like someone gave you a present at the footstep of our doorway and you didn’t want to even open it. It’s insulting. Everybody, stop this madness, and move on. Death is not the end. No, I will not drink this glass.”

I smashed the wine glass onto the floor. People moved back, shocked. I could only hope my message got through to them. 

“You won’t die today,” I finished. “You will not let this death stop your life, too. You have to persevere and move on. It’s okay to be weak at times, but you also have to be strong. You won’t die today, because today is not the end.”

There was a moment of silence across the whole room. Nobody moved, or dared to speak. Or drink their glasses, which hopefully I made them do. 

The expressions on the faces of my parents told me I’d said the wrong thing to everybody. That I’d done something wrong, even though I believed that it was right. 

“You’re going to drink the wine,” Dad said, then, in a yell, “Drink it now!”

“No!” I said firmly, making my final decision. 

I could see that I made my parents very angry. They charged at me, and no one helped, like my message didn’t even occur to them, like they didn’t even hear it. 

As my parents came closer to me they transformed. Into grown men that didn’t look like them at all, and they kept advancing forward. 

Suddenly I knew it was a dream. My parents were dead. This was a past event in my father’s life that I wasn’t supposed to be in. That’s why everything in the dream felt wrong. 

And as the two men came toward me, I only had a split second to realize that they were real. 

 

Eleventh

I jumped out of bed, reaching for the gun I left under my pillow, which is something I always do now. One of them was there first, grabbing my hand, twisting it. I barely had time to register the pain before one of them hit me in the head, and I stumbled. 

I didn’t know why they were after me, but I realized something then. Theo was right, I was not small at all for my age, I maybe could take these guys. If I was smart and I reacted way faster than them. They didn’t have any weapons, so maybe they didn’t want to kill me.

I elbowed the one holding my hand in the stomach, and he got the wind knocked out of him, groaning as he stumbled backwards. I grabbed my gun but I was too slow, the other one slapped it out of my hand and grabbed my neck. I tried to escape the grasp but I was pinned against the wall, and I couldn’t breathe. My throat was burning. It was recently just healed by Silencio’s medicine, and now it was being choked. 

“I told you to bring back food for us all, and you didn’t!” he spat in my face. 

Was this man crazy? Then I remembered now. Before we left to hunt, people were making crazy kill threats if we didn’t bring back food for them. I didn’t think they were serious, only desperate, but it turned out they weren’t joking. Not at all.

“You didn’t!” he continued shrieking. His eyes were bloodshot, and he acted like a rabid animal. I felt sorry for him, because it wasn’t his fault that he was like this. So hungry and desperate to survive, because he really cared and valued his life, or maybe because he valued his loved ones’ lives, and to keep them alive he also needed to be kept alive. 

I wanted to say to him this is not you, but I remembered that I was being choked to death.

“Do you know what it feels like to live here!?” he yelled. “To live every day in fear that this is it, that today is the day. The day that you’re going to die! Because you have no access to food, and everybody you know is being killed by Araceli! Huh? Do you know what it feels like!?”

Yes, I know your pain. I know how it feels. Just let me go, I can help you. 

The other attacker recovered from my jab into his stomach and stood up. I was afraid he’d pull out a knife or something, and execute me slowly, very slowly so that the last thing I would remember is a painful death. But he didn’t. And he didn’t help me either. He also wanted to kill me. Because they were so desperate for food, they’d kill anyone for it. 

My throat was hurting so much at this point that I was afraid that I was going to actually die. They didn’t know that I was the one that knew how to get food, and if they killed me, well, there goes your chance. And I was choking so I couldn’t tell that to them either. 

I couldn’t do anything. I found myself in a hopeless situation again, like when Araceli had me as a prisoner. 

Suddenly I felt his body jerk forward, and he spat blood on my face. A gunshot. I didn’t hesitate to use this moment. I pushed hm off me, gasped for air, and grabbed a lamp and threw it at the other man. As it cracked against his head, he was tackled by the person who shot the one on me. 

It was Theo. I’ve never seen this cold-blooded side of him, beating on the man’s face with his fist so hard and fast, blood splattered everywhere. I didn’t like seeing such violence. 

When Theo was done, and he confirmed that the man was dead, he exhaled and dropped tiredly on the floor. 

“Sorry,” he said, when he saw me staring. 

“I can see this isn’t your first time killing someone,” I said. 

“No,” he said, still breathing heavily. “No, not at all. I’ve had to do it ever since everything started. Over and over again. I’ve learned to just not regret it anymore and move on. Think of it like you had to do it, like it’s necessary.”

“It is.”

“Yeah, I know. Have you killed before?”

I felt ashamed at that moment, because in my own situation my kill might’ve not been necessary, but I didn’t know. “Once.”

He nodded, understanding. Like he understood the situation I was talking about immediately. 

“I didn’t know you were next door,” I said. “Thanks for saving my life.”

“No problem. It’s happening everywhere. You’re not the only one that had a planned murder. Everyone who came on the hunt.”

I felt panic right there. “What about Silencio!?”

“He’s good.” The moment I heard the word I relaxed. “Mason saved him, since he’s also close by. He told me to go save you.”

“Why didn’t they have any weapons?” I asked. 

He sighed. “Mason knew this was going to come, sooner or later. A rebellion. He doesn’t want them to have weapons for it, or more people will die. He and the other leaders take them away from them hide them. Even if Araceli came, they would have to ask a leader where all the weapons were.”

I leaned against the wall. “Everybody’s okay? What about you? You had to take care of your attackers too.”

“I’m okay,” he said. “I can take care of myself, and Mason is strong enough to protect Silencio. Although I don’t know, maybe some people from the hunting group were murdered.”

“We have to check, now,” I said. “We’re done resting.”

“I know,” he said, getting up.

Outside was pure chaos. Fires were started, the flames spreading across the buildings. People were fighting each other, throwing anything they could find. It was total violence, but at least the leaders had the sense to keep the weapons away from them. How could I have not seen it coming too? These people were so hungry, so desperate, that they’d do anything. Even kill each other for the hunting rations we got from the forest. 

Theo and I found Silencio and Mason. The old man looked shocked at the situation, but I could see that he was fine. Not even a scratch, and I felt so relieved. An elder in a group of maybe thousands, and also our greatest asset, because he knew how to get food. He was safe, now. 

“I came as fast as possible,” Mason said, the man who’d been so helpful to us lately, whom I was so grateful for. “Luckily I was awake when my killers came for me. I was strong enough to beat them, and fast enough to save Silencio too. I’m so sorry for this happening, I hope you can see that it became out of my control. It’s my fault.”

“No,” Silencio said. “No, we should thank you. For your hospitality and friendliness, and for saving my life. It’s not your fault that this is happening.”

Mason still looked guilty. He looked up at the dark night sky, seeing no stars in the light of the burning fires raging everywhere from rebellious acts. Everywhere you looked there was an orange hue, and it was the same hue that blocked the beautiful stars at night, at this very moment. 

“Yes, you can still escape,” he said. Then he looked back at us. “Listen to me, you three. It is too dangerous here. You can’t stay here anymore. The night is still young, and it is still dark. You can sneak off, and escape this madness. Go find another band of survivors in the city, or live in the forest for a while. Whatever your plans may be, you just have to stay away from here.”

There was no decision in that. We all knew that we had to escape. People were taking two sides. One that defended the hunters that had attempts of murder on them�"some successful�"and the other seeking vengeance because they were insane, because they were so desperate for food. 

“What about you?” Theo asked. “You can’t stay here either.”

“I have to, it’s my duty,” he said. “I can’t just leave the people that I helped nurse back to life, just to have them die. I built this community with friends, too, and I cannot leave them either. This is my home, and forever will be. This city is where I was born and raised, and where I will die. Theo, you must escort them out of here. You’ve always been a great fighter, and you can protect them. You cannot stay here either. And I do not want you to have this as your final resting place. You have to see your home one last time, at least, and see your cousin and friends. They’re all you have left.”

Theo nodded. “I know.”

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for us,” Silencio said. 

“You’re welcome,” he said. “But you have to go, now.  Escape this place. Go as far away as you can. Go!”

“This way!” Theo said, and we followed. We were headed deeper into the city. 

“Why not the forest?” I asked him. “Nobody will be there. Who knows how far this rampage in the city goes on for? We could stay in the forest, then come back in the morning and see what’s left.”

He shook his head. “Too dangerous. Plus, you heard what Mason said. I have a cousin and her friend back in my district in the city, and they’re all I have left of family or friends. I want to see them again.”

“Why did you come here, then?” I said. “Why did you leave them to go stay here for who knows how long?”

“Please, Eli,” he said, stopping in his tracks. “Now’s not the time. I’ll tell you later, I promise.”

He was right. Right now we needed to get out of here, get out of the danger. It could’ve been any reason he came here, in search for something. Like food or medicine for the people he loves back home. Or to visit someone or someones here. But right now, it didn’t matter.

But there was one thing he said I couldn’t allow. I grabbed his arm before he was about to move again.

“Theo,” I said, “we’re not leaving them. Not for a while, 

at least. We have to come back. They need us. When this is over we come back and we salvage whatever’s left, and help whoever’s left.”

He was going to have to make a hard decision. “Fine. The forest. Turn around.”

I hoped my judgement was right, because if we get killed it would all be on me. 

We weren’t too light on travel with Silencio. The fastest he could go was our fastest walking speed. 

“You boys should just leave me,” he said. “I’m just a liability.”

“You’re the greatest thing our camp has to offer,” Theo said. “You have the most knowledge about the forest, so you’re not going to die. Stay close, or you will. Someone can recognize us and attack us.” 

A couple of people did try to attack us, and Theo and I dispatched them quick with our weapons. Nobody took us by surprise, we were too alert. Except for one madman yelling at the top of his lungs who was thrown out of a window, coming straight for us. Wait no, he barged through the window himself, and was aimed straight at us. 

“Get down!” Theo pulled Silencio back and we both dove out of the way. The man crashed onto the ground, his bloody body jerking.

“Gross,” I said. “Why are they like this?”

“You won’t believe how long these people have been here without food,” Theo said. “Some have just enough to be kept alive, so they live a bit longer than their normal starvation due date. So they’re still always alive but always feeling the pain of starving. If you experienced it yourself you’d be just as desperate and crazy as this man. They’re so hungry they’d do anything. Well, some of them. Most just keep their minds straight and keep to their old selves by not killing anyone, like regular famished people.”

Fortunately, we survived the rampage and made it out safely. We went the same route to the forest the second time today, or first, it could’ve been a new day already, I had no way of telling. 

We got to the forest and began to set up camp. Silencio found a log on the ground, the same one we told everybody it would be a meeting spot for ten o’clock, and he rested against it, instantly going to sleep. 

“Don’t start a fire,” Theo said. When I asked why, he said, “I’m just scared that they’ll see it and come to us. Maybe they think we have food, or we’re using the fire to cook food. And they’ll wonder why people are in the woods at this time, they might think we’re intruders. I dunno what they’re gonna think. Just don’t.”

Well, he was right. I let go of the twigs I had collected and brushed my hands on my shirt. Then I dropped down on the fallen log too, like Silencio, really exhausted. 

Theo found a tree beside us and sat against it too, breathing heavily. We had made it. Alive. Tired, dirty, and thirsty, but alive.

“If there’s still anything left,” I said, exhaling between words, “or anyone, we save and we restart. Everything.”

Theo nodded. “I doubt it, but okay.”

“Do you think everyone’s going to die?” I stared at the city, fires burning everywhere, the smoke rising into the air. People screaming and dying from others who are so desperate for anything good. So desperate that they kill. 

“Maybe,” Theo said, also gazing in the city’s direction. 

“I’m also afraid that something big like this is going to alert Araceli to this spot. Well, no, I’m certain he’s going to be alerted by this. He’s going to send his men here, if there are any survivors in the city. This catastrophe isn’t happening everywhere, you know. I know for sure others deeper in the city are safe from their harm.”

“How much time do you think we have?”

“I dunno. Let’s just hope at least two days or something. That’s more than enough to make it back there again, salvage anything, then leave.”

“Hey,” I said. “I thought if there are survivors we’re going to restart there. Restart everything the people there worked for.”

“We can’t stay there anymore, the commotion is going to attract Araceli’s men, so if we stay there we’re dead.”

“But�"”

“No!” he said forcefully. Then he relaxed and leaned his head against the tree, closing his eyes. “You stay there with Silencio if you want, but I’m not. I’m going home, to see my cousin, okay? I’m done staying here. I’ve stayed here for too long.”

I knew how he felt. Having family left that you want to see so badly. Or a friend. And I was stopping him from doing that. That’s like him trying to stop me from going to Violet. I didn’t want that.

“We’ll go with you,” I said. Then, after a pause, “What’s your cousin’s name?” 

He didn’t answer for a moment. “Raina. And she has a friend, Andrea. Same ages as you. And I swore I would protect them from Araceli, all the time, no matter what.”

“What are you doing here, then?” 

“I know, it was a mistake,” he said. “We got separated. And I didn’t want to find them. I wanted to run away, I didn’t want the responsibility. I told myself I would come back telling them I was looking for food or something, but I haven’t yet, and I don’t think I want to. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I do.”

“No, you don’t. I know you would never leave anyone you knew behind, because you’re loyal. Unlike me. I left them because I was scared, a coward. I wanted to run, and make them think I’m dead.”

He was right there. Even though my brother joined Araceli I didn’t stop there and leave him. I wanted to still bring him back, because I didn’t give up. And he was also right, I wasn’t a coward. I was impressed with myself, for not even knowing that I could’ve died trying to bring back Randy, like I just didn’t care. Like it didn’t even occur to me. Now I’m still alive. 

“I want to return now, though,” Theo continued. “I really do. Say I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to leave this place right here, and when you and Silencio came, showing us how to get food from the forest that was right under our noses, I really didn’t want to leave. And I hated myself because I was living the life here, having all this food, and Raina and Andrea don’t even know about it. I’m just happy they’re not here now, or they could’ve been murdered like you almost were. You know, how funny this new world makes us. All selfish. 

“Everyone can relate,” I said, “even me. Even Silencio. He wanted to…” I looked at him sleeping, remembering that it was supposed to be a secret. But that was after he asked if I had anybody here I wanted to keep alive, before I found Theo. So I guess it was okay. “He wanted to keep all the food we found to ourselves, the both of us. Because he wanted to survive, too. And you see all these people tonight going crazy to kill one another for the food we hunted. Nobody good is left, but that doesn’t matter anymore. It’s about survival, now. What happened to the rest of your family? Starvation? Killed by Araceli? Or did they join him?”

“All three,” he said. “It’s just Raina and me now. What about you?”

“A brother,” I said. “And a friend. My bro Randy joined Araceli and I have no idea where my friend Violet is. Last I remember we were all on Araceli’s ship and he killed us all but…”

I stopped talking, not wanting to go any further, but Theo pushed me to say more. “But what? C’mon, what happened? You said Araceli killed you all.”

“Nothing,” I said. Then I turned on my side. “Good night Theo.”

I didn’t hear a reply, maybe because he didn’t think it was a good night, with all the murderous people. Or maybe he just wasn’t the type of person to say that. Or maybe he was mad at me for not explaining the rest of the story and just immediately wanting to go to sleep, since he told his whole story. I didn’t know why I didn’t tell him. It was just too complicated. I didn’t want to tell him I’ve been through crazy stuff. More crazy stuff than him, surviving a pod crash meant for a dead person. Shot by a bullet that went through a phone that saved my life. 

Why am I here? I should be dead. I should be dead, like 

everyone else I knew that still cared about me. Which equaled no one. Violet was maybe still out there somewhere, but she hated me with all her life for something I didn’t do. 

Randy was still alive, I was sure. So sure that I’d let that fact whether it be true or not decide my life. And he also didn’t want me. He despised me enough to kill me. My parents were dead. I had no other family left. How could I go on without them? I didn’t know. 

Sleep came to me really quick, and before I knew it, it was morning. We had to wake Silencio, and he claimed that he wasn’t really feeling good.

Theo checked his forehead. “He feels fine. Do you feel sick?”

“No,” the old man said. 

“It’s okay then,” Theo said. “Let’s keep moving.”

Back in the same route through the forest, we treaded wordlessly. When Theo went a bit ahead Silencio finally spoke. 

“Listen, I had bad dreams,” he told me. “Bad feelings about what we’re going to find in the city.”

“Is that what’s making you not feel so good?”

“Maybe.”

“You know we’re going to find dead bodies and destruction anyway. Is that it?”

He shook his head. 

“Is Araceli there?” I waited for his answer, dreading the worst. 

“No, I don’t think that either,” he said. “Just ignore my instincts. They cause nothing but mayhem and trouble.”

“Why?” I said. “They’ve been right once. What makes 

you think this time’ll be wrong? I think they’re useful, and I don’t think they’ll ever be wrong.”

“Keep and eye out, that’s it.” 

We hunted a few small mammals with our guns to roast over a fire for breakfast, or lunch, whatever time it was. Maybe brunch. I got scared at what we would find in the city, even though I was the one who reassured Silencio we’d just find dead bodies and destruction. When we got there, I wasn’t far off at all. It’s just, I imagined survivors. There were none. Theo checked the pulse of ones who he though were alive, who looked like they barely had any scratches. None. 

I asked him why. “Too hungry, they couldn’t take it anymore,” he said. “Hey, you said if we find survivors we restart the camp. There’s none, face it.”

Then he kept walking. We continued the search, for something. Anything. Anything new other than dead people who starved to death or were stabbed or had their throats crushed. Or had a burning glass of alcohol thrown at them, while their murderers watched them die as the building burned down and collapsed on them. 

“Nothing new,” Theo said. “Let’s leave, now. It’s a miracle Araceli isn’t here yet. You’d think he’d come as fast as possible in a mess like this.”

I was about to tell him maybe there’s always a possibility he actually won’t come. Maybe he knew somehow everyone was dead here, because they all killed themselves, until I saw Mason on the ground somewhere and completely forgot about it. 

“Mason!” I said.

“Check him,” Silencio said, even though Theo was 

already there. He stood up when he was done, and shook his head. For like the millionth time. I was sick of it. I wanted good news. 

“It’s unlikely they’re alive if we find them in a pool of blood on the ground, guys,” he said. “I say we leave now. For the better. The only alternative is staying, and we’re not doing that.”

I took one last look at Mason’s dead body on the ground, deciding he was right. “Okay, let’s go.”

We followed the destruction through the city. Theo led us to what he knew was a path to another group of survivors, really far in the city. I wasn’t sure if he really knew where it was, because he kept making apparent wrong turns. There was no food here either, but Theo said the camp there maybe had better luck than ours, and they would have some. And that there’s maybe also a national park nearby that we could go hunt in or something. Like a huge one, a forest. I didn’t like taking all these chances, but what better chance did we have?

“How long until we reach there?” Silencio said. “Days?”

“I don’t know,” Theo said. “If this was a regular day I’d take the subway or something, but you know those aren’t possible anymore. So I wouldn’t know, because I’ve never walked through the entire city or something like that.”

“We’re walking through the entire city?” I said. 

“No,” he said. “Well, I don’t know. And I’m pretty sure we’re not going to take days to get there.”

There it was again. Taking another chance. everything we were doing was an if, a maybe, or a pretty sure. But again, we couldn’t do anything else. I already missed the old community, even though it wasn’t such a good one with everybody going hungry for food and killing for it. But there were some perks, like the forest nearby with some food. Well, at least enough to feed two people like Silencio and I. There were also some friendly people, who were just as hungry as everyone else but they just clenched their teeth and took it in, not killing for it. Because they knew it was the right thing to do, because that’s what made them to join Araceli in the first place. Because they didn’t want to kill. 

Was this Araceli’s plan? Not send any men here to see how we would do, not trying to kill each other? Maybe he left us to watch us grow in pain of our hunger, to the point that we were desperate enough to fight over it, to kill over it, and to feed it to ourselves and not the most important ones like the children and infants there. Maybe he wanted to see that, because he enjoyed it. Maybe that was his plan for the rest of the world. Let us all starve to death with too many people to feed. 

You can’t share the planet’s food with one hundred billion people. It’s impossible. Every animal would die out first to do that, even on the first day. And if we actually managed to try that, we’d need like another earth or two for more farmland to grow enough crops for us all, and you’d need millions more of us farmers. Millions more of farmer families like mine, or Violet’s. 

We didn’t take a few days to find the place that I thought Theo had imagined himself, but we didn’t take a few hours either. Oh, and it turned out, he hadn’t imagined it. 

It also turned out that they weren’t too friendly. When we arrived, starving and exhausted, they didn’t welcome us. They just told us to move on and get lost. That’s it. They completely shut their doors on us. 

“My guess is that they’ve found many, many wanderers who seek entrance into the city,” Silencio said. “Too many to take in to take care of. But we’re different. We need to let them know we know how to help them. Hunt.”

“Yeah, I agree,” Theo said after kicking a rock. He seemed a bit guilty for bringing us all the way here and then had a refuge turned away from us, so he took any good suggestion right away. “I could go and tell them that. You guys stay here.”

After a while they did let us in, and told us they were a very strict group that didn’t let anybody in. And if anybody wanted to get out, they didn’t let them back in. Just security measures. You never know if who you’re letting in is a bloodthirsty murderer looking for food or spies of Araceli. Also, unlike the last camp, they all held on to their weapons, and nobody was hungry. When Silencio asked why, they said they took supplies they salvaged somewhere from a place neither Araceli or everybody else knew. I’m sure it was just a food market Araceli’s men forgot to blow up or something, but it didn’t matter now, because they were running out. Especially for the winter. They needed someone like us to teach them how to trap and hunt food from the nearby national park, so that they’d never run out again. Even though that wasn’t really the way it worked. 

For the afternoon Silencio went around meeting people in the group for his new hunting crew. Since Theo and I already knew how to hunt and were already in it, and we had no interest in going around meeting strangers, we rested on a bench and watched the community thrive. It was just like the last one, with doctors treating people, families everywhere with the parents reassuring the scared looks on their kids’ faces, but just without the beatings everywhere. Here, everybody got just enough to survive, and stay sane. It gave me relief, knowing that there wouldn’t be any attempted murders anytime soon. Or riots. I was still prepared.

“Hard to imagine Araceli missing a place to bomb like this,” he said. 

“You know about that?”

“Of course, and it turns out you do too. We had our TV and radio broadcasts stuck on the news all the time. We only recently learned Araceli was planning to bomb all these mini survivor camps. That’s why we always laid low, and we tried not to look as, you know, rebel as possible.”

“I think he’s too busy with the one hundred billion people coming back to deal with us right now.”

“I know. Most people in all of these camps are from the disaster. They have no knowledge of the world right now, and there’re too many of them. How are we going to keep them all alive and fed?”

“At least we’re in North America,” I told him. “Think about the other continents.”

“Yeah,” he said. “There would be so many people coming back from mass dying events, like, I don’t know, the Black Death.”

It horrified me to think of all the people coming back to life. All of them that remembered dying to the disease second closest to making humanity extinct. Right now, this was the first. 

“I wonder how many he’s killed already,” he said. 

“Billions, for sure.”

Suddenly a person came up to us and said, “Hurry, come 

quick! Your old man passed out!”

Theo and I didn’t hesitate to follow him as he led us the way. I wondered what it could be. What could’ve happened?

We were running as fast as we could, trying to get to Silencio, then something happened to me. I saw a vision. Like I was in the eyes another person. He was running too, and I didn’t know who he was or why. 

I screamed in pain as I stumbled to the floor. Theo stopped for a second to help me up. 

“What happened?” he demanded. 

“I don’t know,” I said. “I saw something.”

“We better get going!” he said, and I could see he was getting anxious. 

“Right,” I said, not wanting to delay getting to Silencio any longer. But when I tried to get up I saw the same vision again and the headache came back, and I stumbled back down on my knees. “Forget it. Go!” I said. “Leave me here. Go find Silencio.”

“No, I won’t,” he said, pulling me up. “You’re going to get there too.”

“But I’m aching too much in my head,” I mumbled. “I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

Then I felt like I was going to pass out too. I was fading into the darkness, and the world moved slower and slower… 

Twelfth

Stop it.” Theo whacked my head. “You’re not going to throw up. Clear your mind.”

“Ow!” I said. “What was that for?”

Then I realized it was right for him to do that. It had jolted me awake and back into reality. 

“You good?” he asked. 

I felt my head, and the aching was gone. “Apparently, yeah.” 

Soon I decided to forget about it. I was so well again I didn’t care about the possibilities at what could’ve just happened. I didn’t know what it was, but right now we had to get to Silencio. 

Theo and I continued to follow the man. We rushed through the streets faster. In a matter of time we arrived, and we found a crowd surrounding something. 

“Oh no,” I said. “No, no, no.” 

Theo and I pushed through the crowd and found Silencio passed out on the ground, with a teenager in tears beside him. 

“Tell me what happened!” I said a bit too loud, but I didn’t care. 

“I�"I don’t know,” she said, scared. “He was just talking to me. He was asking if�"if I knew anything about hunting. Then he said he felt sick and he fell. I caught him, but, but I didn’t know what to do. There’s no ambulance around here.”

I dropped on my knees beside him, and Theo did too. 

“Please, don’t hurt me,” she said. 

“Why would we hurt you?” Theo asked. 

“He mentioned you two. You’re his companions, and you’d protect him from anyone who threatened him. He told me you guys knew how to kill.”

“That’s true,” Theo said. “But you didn’t do anything wrong.”

I was glad I had someone there who could talk for me, because right now I was just in a trance. Looking down at Silencio and holding myself there. I was barely listening, so when the girl touched my arm and told me she was sorry I was startled. I shrugged it off and said, “Go away.” 

I must’ve had an angry look on my face because she backed away. 

“Eli, c’mon,” Theo said disapprovingly. 

Right now I didn’t care. I felt vulnerable, being the centre of a crowd. I didn’t want comfort, and I felt the need to show them that too. I didn’t need anyone’s sympathy. 

But inside maybe I did. Silencio had spent weeks with me, telling me stories, mostly in the forest where I found him. And occasionally he said he felt sad and old, and depressed even. I never heard him say he felt sick once. Except maybe… now I remember. Before we found the camp, he claimed that he wasn’t feeling good and Theo checked him. He looked fine so we decided to not worry about it. Now I’m not sure if that was the right choice. 

Two people, I think the ones Silencio first talked to when we first came here, told us they’d carry him to a room where he could rest. I could barely let go, but I did.

“Is he sick?” one of them asked. It seemed like the man was glaring at Theo.

Theo’s eyes widened, and he quickly said, “No, no, he’s only slightly. Just a fever, and it will go away. Take him to his room. It’s okay, just a fever.”

When they left, and the crowd started to disperse, Theo pulled my arm. 

“Eli,” he started, “when I came here first to try and convince them we were useful to them, they told me things about the camp. One thing they did was that if anybody was sick they didn’t bother to help them and leave them out the camp to die. They told me it waster way of keeping safe from diseases, since we’re low on medical resources here. If a disease breaks through into their camp, we could all die.”

“So you had to lie about the fever,” I said.

“Yes. I have no idea what made him pass out, but I had to lie about the fever or else whether we liked it or not they’d throw him out the camp and leave him there to die.”

Suddenly I felt sick, and I didn’t handle the information too well. I felt like laying on the ground myself. 

“What are we going to do now?” I said. “Hope he gets better, but then what about our food?”

“Let’s wait a day to see if he awakes, and then we can talk to him for advice. If he doesn’t, we’ll have to go hungry for a day, which I’m sure you’re used to. If the worst comes… we might have to hunt on our own.”

It turned out he awoke in a few hours on the same day. Nobody told us we could see him. Nobody cared anymore. He was up to us to keep healthy, not them, because once they see someone sick they leave them to die, except for the family who has to take care of them because they still hope they could still live. 

Silencio already claimed he was feeling better. 

“You just passed out randomly on the street,” Theo said. “You still needing more day of rest.”

He seemed like he was about to protest, but then he closed his mouth and nodded. “Fine. One more day.”

“What are we going to do about the food?” I asked. 

“I told you,” Theo said. “We can’t hunt everyday.” 

“No, people are going hungry out there,” Silencio told us. “You have to hunt. Tonight. Before the sun goes down. If you get me a leader here I could talk to him to lead you two. And you cannot go by yourself. Never will I let you.”

“What if we have to?” I asked. 

“I’ll get him,” Theo said, ignoring me. 

“No, I will. You always do it.”

“No, you’ve done enough for one day,” he said. “I’m getting him. You need rest too.”

I don’t know how but I knew what he meant. Maybe he didn’t like how I was being so cold to that girl who didn’t do anything. Maybe I needed someone to blame, or maybe I didn’t want to show everyone something like this could break me. They’ve all lost people too, so they must know how I feel like. I want to be left alone. 

I sighed and realized Theo was right, again, that I needed rest because I was tired. I sat on the floor against Silencio’s bed and stared at the wall. 

It seemed like an hour passed before the silence was broken. “What happened when I was in a coma?”

The old man’s voice startled me, for going so long without any sound. “Nothing. We just brought you here.”

I couldn’t see his face, but I could tell he knew I was lying from his pause. So I spoke. “What do you think happened to you?”

“I’m old, and weak,” he said. “That’s my only explanation. After it happens I’m always better, and I don’t feel sick anymore. Because they’re only occasions, and they pass. Just because I’m in a coma it doesn’t mean I can’t walk after.”

“But you still shouldn’t,” I said. “Because you said it yourself. It’s too dangerous to walk again, just rest.”

“But I can do it. Go hunting tonight.”

“No!” I shouted firmly. I regretted it as soon as I said it. I should’t shout like that, especially to Silencio. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” he said. “That’s good. That’s a leader’s trait. Not letting anyone alter your decision, making a firm stand on your point.”

Maybe. Just maybe not when I shouted at that girl too, when I didn’t mean to. Or when I was being mean to her.

“I don’t know,” I said, my eyes watering. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. You know me. So you would know this isn’t me. I’ve yelled at others, too, and I don’t know why.”

“I may know why, but I can’t tell you,” he said. 

“Why?”

“It would hurt you.”

“Just tell me.”

“It has something to do with that night you found me in the forest. When I was telling ghost stories.”

“What about them?”

“You don’t remember anything else?”

He was talking about when I was telling him my story. When I said that I had found a dead boy in a garden shed in the house, holding apples. He knew I lied about that. I don’t know how, but he just does.

“Maybe your mean trait isn’t a trait of yours,” he said. “Maybe it’s someone else’s.”

“Can you just tell me?” I said. 

“If I did, it’d bring you headaches and pain, as you remember everything again. Every time you remember, it will happen to you. You don’t remember what happened that night, and that is good. I’m not going to tell you again.”

“You’re talking about the dead boy in the shed, aren’t you?” I said, my whole body trembling. “Fine! I admit it. I was the one who killed him. I did it. Me. He wasn’t dead. I was desperate for food, and I had to do it. I lied about it because I didn’t want to feel bad for it.”

A moment passed. 

“That’s not what I was talking about.”

“Then what are you talking about?”

“Go rest, boy. Before you hunt.”

I was afraid I had hurt him, yelling at him again. So I wiped my tears and got up to leave the room, saying sorry again. 

Maybe Theo and him were right. I needed rest, maybe a nap. But I didn’t feel like it. I went to the park and decided to rest on the bench there, watching an older girl skip stones in a pond. I realized it was the same one Silencio talked to before he passed out. 

“Are you okay?” she asked me, without meeting my eyes. 

“Leave me alone,” I said. 

Silence. She hung her head, feeling like she had done something wrong. That’s when it hit me. She didn’t. 

She was about to get up to leave before I said, “Wait, I’m sorry.”

She froze, and I continued. “I’m sorry for being mean to you. I don’t know. This is not like me.”

“I believe you,” she said. “Look, I know how it feels, okay? To lose someone. I’ve lost my parents in this mess of a world, and I get angry sometimes. It’s okay to be mad.”

“Not to be mean,” I said. “Do you forgive me?”

“Of course I do.” She sat next to me on the bench, looking at the pond. 

“Me too,” I said. “I’ve lost my parents.”

She nodded. “You remind me of my older brother. He does bad things, but he isn’t a bad person.”

Randy. Was that the reason? Because my brother was mean, I’m mean too? No, maybe it’s because of Dad. When he said he did dangerous things before, and his parents overprotected him, and he didn’t like it. Maybe he wasn’t disciplined back then, maybe he yelled at people. 

“You remind me of my friend,” I said, thinking of Violet. “Always forgiving.”

“What about the old man that passed out? Is he okay?”

“I think so,” I said. I remembered now how I yelled at him too. 

“It happened just when he asked me if I had any hunting experience,” she explained. “And no, I don’t have any. That’s the thing, nobody here does. It’s not a regular thing, you know.”

“That’s why we teach you.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I could ever learn.”

I nodded. “I understand. It’s okay.”

“Yeah,” she said. “You’re not a bad person either. Don’t ever think that. Truce?” She held up her fist.

“Truce,” I said, bumping it.

After a while, I said, “Can you teach me how you skip those stones? I can never seem to get pass one skip.”

She smiled, and we skipped stones in the pond for the rest of the afternoon. 

We’re going,” Theo told me, when I found him in Silencio’s room. “I’m sorry we’re going so late. We just needed time to get everyone prepared. But now we’re going.”

“Don’t be,” I said. “It’s only six. Let’s do it. I’m hungry.”

“Okay,” Theo said. “Just remember, Silencio isn’t going.”

I looked past him, to see him sleeping peacefully on the bed. “Yeah. In the morning, or if he’s awake when we come back, we give him our share. I feel like I owe him.”

“Why?”

“Nothing,” I quickly said. “We’re going to keep the food we find to ourselves once we’re satisfied with how much we have, then we start distributing what we have left, okay?”

“But that’s�"”

“Shh, we have to,” I said. “Come on, just do it. It’s okay. We’re the ones who are going to help people how to hunt anyway, and the food we catch is caught because of us. And plus, how are we going to keep teaching people if we starve to death before them?”

Theo still had an unsure look, but then finally he nodded. “Fine. Let’s go, we can’t waste any time. The leaders are waiting for us. I already taught some of them how to set traps, and some people in the group have gone hunting before. It’s going to be easier this time, I’m telling you. Don’t worry. We might catch more, too. This national park is protected by the authorities, and hunting legislations are strict and limited. There might be more animals here than a forest that isn’t managed by anyone, which was our old one. We might even find a bear!”

I doubted it, but I didn’t want to get his hopes down. So I followed him through the streets where we would meet everyone at the park. We gathered everything we needed and left, like we’ve done this a hundred times before. Just without Silencio. No teacher, we had to learn for ourselves. 

And Theo and I had to teach others too. All evening, we taught everything Silencio taught us. Watching for tracks, looking out for streams, listening for sounds. Shooting, hauling. Spearing fish. Gathering edible plants and roots. Using the environment. Setting up snare traps, or even leg-hold traps. 

It pained to see an an animal die to a trap like a snare trap. If you didn’t check them for days, they could have their neck tied up, and then suffocate under harsh pain with blood flowing into their brain but not back to the heart. And then the blood vessels would explode, and they would feel an immense amount of pain as they died a slow death from an exploding head. Or, for example a coyote, if their leg gets caught, they’d get so desperate to get out to hunt and take care of their pups, they’d try to chew off their caught limb to escape. Which means when you find them you’ll see they have bled to death because of a mess of blood and broken bones on their leg. 

“This forest has some big animals, I heard,” Theo told me when he found me, after we were done teaching a whole lot of people. It made me glad that some did already know how to, because they’ve went hunting before, and they could help teach us. 

“Bears, elk, deer, even moose,” he said. “Even coyotes and wolves, and mountain lions and bighorn sheep in the mountains. Those are the dangerous ones, but we can still try to find them.”

“Cool,” I said. “What happens if we see a bear?”

He thought for a moment. Then shrugged. “I don’t know. I heard you don’t want to run away as fast as possible. You might provoke it, and they’d think you’re danger to them. You want to look it in the eye and slowly move backwards until it ignores you. But finding a bear is rare, and they’re kinda endangered, you know.”

I nodded. “Let’s try to get like a moose or something. Those could feed many people for days, maybe. They’re pretty big.”

“I know a perfect place we can scout. This place also has such gorgeous views from up above. After all, it’s a national park. Here, follow me. I’ve never been on this hike before, so I don’t know how long it’ll be.”

We found a path that looked obvious to be used by humans. It led you up a huge uphill, where the trees were in a slant from the ground, and huge rocks covered the path sometimes. They were massive. And I bet only their peaks were visible to the surface, and the rest of them were buried deep underground, where you’d need dynamite to reach. 

We kept going higher, and once I dared to look behind us to see our progress. It looked scary from up here, because you could see the steer slant downwards, a long drop. We sure was going uphill. 

The path eased off by going into upright land, where we were back on flat land. It felt kind of cold up here, which wouldn’t be surprising. It’s going to be nighttime soon and we were high up too. 

We went past the trees and suddenly we were on the edge of a cliff, and we saw the most epic view of the entire park. The trees went as far as you could see, and at the end a lake which went even further. Rivers ran through trees. The biggest mountains I’ve ever seen ringed the area like a valley. They were all grey, and had snowcaps. Last of all, we were suspended on a rock jutting out into a long, long drop. 

“How did we get this high?” I asked Theo. “I don’t remember climbing this high.”

“We were already pretty high up to begin with, maybe. I dunno. Or maybe we’re not high, and this entire valley is low. Lower than regular elevation.”

I exhaled. “What an awesome view.”

“I know, right? See any possible hunting areas?”

“The whole thing?”

“Maybe. We’ve got this whole forest, bud. Look how big it is. It makes me believe that there are a lot of animals still left in the world that we can eat. Araceli can have all the livestock and crops he wants in the world, but maybe we could live off this.”

I wasn’t sure about the whole idea of ‘living here forever’. It just didn’t seem right. But I had closed all my loops, there was nothing else left in my life to finish. Yeah, maybe Violet could still be out there somewhere, but how was I supposed to find her? I’d rather live here, in luxury, where I don’t worry about food because I get it myself. And, when you face the odds, she’s most likely dead. There are so many things that can cause it. She has nobody left but me, and I have nobody left but her. But that used to be the case, because now I can make friends here at the camp. And if she’s alive then she could probably make friends wherever she is too. Then we’re going to forget about each other and never see each other again, and�"and… that was it. That’s what’s been bothering me. I’ll never see anybody I knew again, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Well, you know what? I don’t care anymore. Randy killed me, and Violet hates me. They both think I’m dead, so I shouldn’t care about them. I’m a ghost to them, and I’m going to keep it that way. I’ll stay off their radar my whole life until the day I die, and only then they will realize that I still walk this world alive, but they never knew about it until I’m dead. And I don’t even feel bad about that. I don’t care anymore. 

“Don’t you want to see your cousin?” I asked. “Your only family left?”

“What?” Theo said, startled. “Look, I do, okay? I don’t know. I want them here, but at the same time I don’t.”

“You’re going to live off this forest forever? Without them?”

“Maybe. No. I don’t know.”

“Why? At least you have family left.”

“You do too. You said you have a brother.”

“Forget him. I don’t want to see him.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

He sighed. “Same with me. Hey, you know what’s a topic nobody really talks about? The disaster. Why do you think it happened?”

“No idea,” I said. “But it gives Araceli more work now.”

Theo shivered. “Do you think anybody died in this forest in the past?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“Because we’d find them. Here. Creepy, huh?”

I didn’t even realize that. Yeah, that was creepy. I hoped nobody died here. 

“So,” Theo said, “you’d rather live off this forest forever? Without your brother?”

“Don’t mock me,” I said. “It’s different, okay?”

“What about your friend?” he asked. 

“What about her?”

“Where is she?”

I didn’t answer, just pretended to not hear and look at the view of the valley. 

“Eli?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care,” I said. “There, I said it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” I said, “don’t bother me about it.”

He nodded, and left me alone for a while. He must be wondering why I called Randy family, even though I hate him. He must be wondering why I called Violet my friend, even though I don’t care about her. It’s because other than our parents, these are the only people I’ve known for literally all the thirteen years of my life, and they’re the only ones I get. They’ve taken care of me, looked after me, and played with me. They’re my older brother and sister. I was the youngest in the farm, and they knew that, so they were always protecting me. And that’s why I call them family, because no matter how harsh they can be sometimes, I love them. 

I wish I could say that to Theo, but I couldn’t. So instead, I asked, “Do you think this is gonna go on forever?”

“I think nothing lasts forever,” he said. “Maybe this will last our whole lives but sometime in the future people will surely overthrow Araceli somehow. Maybe his own people. They’ll realize they’ve done wrong and help us, or every good person left down here dies and Araceli and his people are all that’s left.”

“Then why can’t we put an end to this now?”

“Are you kidding? What will the rebels do? Nuke him? He has all the nukes. He has everything.”

“And that’s why we won’t,” I said. “Because everyone’s just like you. No hope.”

The sun finally began to set, and on the cliff it was the most spectacular view. The whole forest, the mountains and river, the lake, and then the whole sky melting. 

I didn’t feel like talking to Violet this time. Every time I’ve talked to her I imagined she was okay and nothing had happened between us on Araceli’s ship. But in reality she wants to kill me. 

“We’ve got a few minutes left to hunt,” Theo said, getting up. “Come on, let’s use it!”

Well, I couldn’t stay anyway. I got up and followed him down the trail. Halfway through he put an arm over me to stop me, and crouched down low. I followed. 

“Moose,” he said. “It’s right there. We’re the only ones here. We have to get it!”

“Are you sure we can haul that thing?” I asked, sizing it up. 

“It’s on the small side. We can’t let down our group!”

“Okay, fine,” I said, even though my decision wouldn’t really matter for his. “What’s the plan?”

“Stay silent. Not quiet, silent. One mistake and I think it runs away. Then get a good angle and shoot. The throat, I think. The antlers might interfere with trying to shoot the head. 

We worked all night. Following the moose, getting closer to it. Finally, in a good spot in the bushes, we aimed our rifles. 

“I don’t know where we are,” I told him. “We wandered off a long way following this guy. Shouldn’t we�"”

“Shh!” he said. “We’ll figure out later. Don’t ruin this!”

“Okay,” I said, aiming my rifle too. 

When the moose stopped, completely, still unaware of us, we fired. One of our shots went into the belly, one in the throat, like Theo instructed. He’s a way better marksman than me, so I bet the kill was his. 

“Yes!” he said, still quietly. “Big game.”

When the moose hit the ground we checked it. Dead. And with the two of us we could barely even lift the thing.

“We can’t even drag im’,” I said. “We need help.”

“Hey!” Theo yelled. “Over here! We caught a moose!”

The noise of crickets and birds chirping were all we heard, and we stayed there in silence. A while after people found us and helped us carry the moose. They seemed surprised that we caught one, maybe even impressed. 

Hours passed, and finally the call to regroup came. Everyone went really far, because they needed the space, so we were sent on groups to find everyone. Theo and I were allowed to rest, though.

When everybody came we counted. It was a bit more 

than last time. A lot more, I don’t know. Fish, plants, squirrels, even a coyote. And of course, our moose. And other animals. I didn’t really count. 

“Who’s gonna eat the coyote?” I asked Theo, and he shrugged. That’s pretty new to anybody, probably. But with the threat of hunger for everyone, anyone would eat anything, as long as it’s edible. 

“The moose is ours,” Theo said, remembering the pact. I nodded. They’d have no problem letting us eat it too, because we hunted it. 

“You know, I heard it’s dangerous eating raw meats of some animals,” he said. “Like bear or something. Because they’re omnivores, and they eat insect larvae, and there’s a chance they’ve eaten this parasite thingy that could make you really sick if you eat the meat. We have to cook everything very, very well first. We don’t know what diseases we could get.”

“Roast the moose on a large spit,” I said, “and have everybody eat shawarma.”

He laughed. “I’ve just never had moose before.”

“Really?” I said. “Not even in a stew? For like a family dinner?”

“Never heard of it.”

Later on, the leaders decided that it was best if we stayed for the night, and just camped here. We would come back in the morning. It was so late for anyone to have energy to walk the path anyway. Theo told me the news. 

“A lot of people argued.”

“I’m one of them,” I said. 

“I knew you would be. But you can’t go alone, so you have to stay with us. Come on, just do it.”

I sighed and then agreed, that we would stay here for the night. One night Silencio goes hungry, while we don’t, because we roasted our food in fires that night.

In the morning, we prepared to leave. We assigned baskets to carry and we started for home. Some people were pumped to finally bring food home, for themselves and their families. I guess I could say the same for Silencio, where I’d be bringing back some for him. And he really needs it because he’s sick, and we don’t know why. But we’re not telling anybody or else they’d throw him out. 

Halfway through, home began to be in our sights. But it wasn’t the regular. Something was wrong, and everybody saw it too. 

“Is that fire?” Theo said, squinting. “And… smoke!”

When everybody heard the gunfire people started worrying and fearing the worst, cowering. Everybody hid, but not me. The attack was clear now, the buildings were burning in the distance and ashes fell to the ground from where we were. But I didn’t care. 

“Silencio!” I ran straight into the pandemonium. 

“Wait, Eli!” Theo said, but I ignored him. I ignored him because all the food we got was for Silencio, because he was sick. But maybe we’d never get to give it. 

Maybe it was all for nothing. 

Thirteenth

My head started to hurt. At first slight pain, then unbearable. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I had the strength to ignore it, it was fifteen on a scale of ten. 

But somehow I was still on my feet. Maybe it was because I really needed to see if Silencio was okay. So I gritted my teeth and ignored it. 

I hid behind cars, ran through the asphalt. I saw the destruction and mayhem. Araceli was here. Or, his men were here. Everywhere I looked, they were there, in black suits and helmets with visors the deepest of black, that covered their entire face. It made them look ghastly, because you couldn’t see their face. You couldn’t tell if they’re human. They took the one thing that made them look like it. And they took the one trait that made them us. They’re completely alien, to everybody. There’s no going back for them. They’re evil and remorseless, because they don’t care about us. They are not us. 

Through all the craziness everywhere, with people dying from Araceli’s men, I located Silencio’s room in a building, and I don’t care if I would get shot or not. This was my only chance. I sprinted there. Who’s going to be there if I’m not? Nobody. I was his only hope. I was one of the only ones who actually tried to keep him alive, while everybody else wanted to just throw him out because that’s what this whole mess of a world does to us. It makes us want to survive for our own cause so greatly we’d kill others, and we’d ignore cries for help. I remember the baby from the disaster on television. Who’s going to take care of him? Nobody. They don’t want another responsibility. They don’t want another mouth to feed. They’d rather leave it in the dark, and tell themselves, the disaster is not my fault, why should I be the one to take care of it? 

I’m not like them. Sure, I kill, but I also care for people. I’m loyal, and Theo was right. 

This time, I kill the right people. The enemy. I grabbed my gun and held it tightly with both hands. 

One of them was there, guarding the door. I’m not a good shot that far. Not as good as Theo. He turned around, and I got as close to him as possible without him seeing me when he turned back. Then I dropped to the ground and played dead. It worked, I don’t know how, but he ignored me, even though I wasn’t there just a few seconds ago. Maybe he doesn’t keep track of all the dead bodies. He doesn’t need to keep track of me, because I’m not a dead body. To his surprise I shot him in the gut on the ground, and I got up quickly to grab his rifle and finish him off. I wasn’t going to take any chances knocking him out. No, I had to kill them, and I was glad for it too. These people took everything from me. And maybe this person wasn’t one of those who actually did it, but he still works for Araceli, and that’s bad enough in itself. 

The entrance was clear to Silencio’s room. But he wasn’t there. I found him in the lobby of the building, along with other people, all with their hair being held by Araceli’s men, aiming guns at their heads. Executions. They were surrounded by them too, all with rifles. There was no way I could rescue anybody guaranteeing all of us staying alive, so I hid behind the corner of the wall. 

One by one, one of them shot each person in the head, with all scared looks on their faces when they dropped dead. Children. There were children too. I looked away when they were executed. They killed them first. I remember Araceli saying something about making his victims feel the worst they possibly can before they die. The sight of these children dying was scary enough for them, and maybe some were even parents, with the screams that Araceli’s men got when the children were shot. The sight that even the ones with the most hope of surviving, with the highest chance of having a brighter future than us were gone. No matter how happy they were being a kid, they were gone. At least they’re not slow, very, very painful deaths. 

They got to Silencio last, and I saw him. Already beaten and bloody, I don’t know how he managed to survive until now. He told me he’s old, close to death, and rusty. Even with the disaster, he doesn’t get a second chance. He must be so strong to survive for this execution. I have to do something. Save that strength. Preserve it, by saving him. Our hope in surviving, with all his knowledge of getting food without the modern ways. 

But I couldn’t get to him. No matter what I did. I couldn’t bargain, or kill. Either way I’d be dead, and I had nothing to give, because I had nothing to lose. That’s what I had after Silencio’s death. Nothing. Because they already took everything from me. 

His death would signify that even the oldest and wisest among us can’t survive Araceli’s reign. And the youngest with the most potential to be something great won’t either. Instead, I survive, and I have no value to anybody or have any reason for me to be kept alive. It’s so unfair. Why do I survive, while the ones with good hearts that want to help people like Silencio don’t? I don’t have a good heart. I’m a killer. I’m not worth saving, not worth anyone’s time. I have no value to anyone, because I can’t help them. Only take their food. I don’t know how to heal people, or teach them about the forest so they can survive. I don’t know how to be nice either, because the last conversation I had with Silencio was with me yelling at him, and him just trying to say go away in a nice way, and me yelling at the girl like it’s her fault Silencio passed out. I’m not good to anyone. I can’t even save anyone, because now would be a good time, but I can’t. 

Silencio was just closing his eyes when the executioner brought the gun to the back of his head. And when he opened them, I couldn’t mistake it. He was looking straight at me. He had found me, hiding in the corner, knowing that I was wishing to save him, but I can’t. In his final moments of life, he looked at me with worry. With eyes that said, get out of here. Run. Save your life.

He confirmed it when I was about to move in, to�"I don’t know, block the bullet or something, he shook his head slightly. To tell me, no. Don’t save me, save yourself. I’m too old anyway. 

And then, in the last second of his life, he smiled. Then got shot. I knew why. Because for this old man, making him watch children die won’t break him. He’s strong. And when he saw me, he was glad, for the final minute of his second life, which may forever be his last, he got to see me, a person who took care of him, who was his friend. And that was why Araceli failed to make him feel the worst he 

possibly can before he died. Because he saw me. 

And then it came to me along with the shock of his death. I was value to some people. It didn’t matter if you were a doctor, so you could heal people. It didn’t matter if you were a hunter, so you could get food for everybody. Or a guard that can protect people. What made your value was how much the people you care about love you back. Violet. Randy. My parents. I was value to them because they loved me. They took care of me. And in return they were value to me. They didn’t need to be value to anyone else, because they already had each other, and me. 

So when Silencio had our last talk before I went to go hunt, and he told me to rest before I hunted, he wasn’t telling me to go away for him. He was saying that for me, because he worried about me, and worried about how angry I was getting. Because he was a selfless thinker. Even though he made the pact to keep the first food we find to ourselves. I realize now, that it wasn’t because he wanted to survive. It’s because he wanted to keep going on to help more people into hunting. He realized that if he died first, he couldn’t help anyone anymore. And I misinterpreted it, like my selfish thinking that I had, that he wanted to keep the food to himself. No, he didn’t want to do that, I did. I wanted to, because I didn’t want to keep myself alive so I could continue keeping others alive. I wanted to stay alive because I only cared for myself. 

When Silencio dropped to the floor dead with a smile, I ran. Ran as fast as I could out of there. I wanted to find Theo. Anyone. 

All around the slaughter still went on. Firebombs, grenades, and bullets, all killing people. They couldn’t run. 

“Eli, there you are!” Theo said, when he found me. “I was worried. I thought you were going suicidal. Where’s Silencio?”

I shook my head sadly. 

“I’m sorry. Come on, we gotta go. Leave this place, just like the last one.”

Suddenly I felt anger. “What?” I yelled. “You don’t care? Silencio died and you don’t care!? You just want to keep going!?”

“Listen, Eli,” he said. “I do care. But we have to mourn later. Just because this is his end, it doesn’t mean this is our end. Just because one person died, it doesn’t mean we stop going on. We have to continue fighting, fighting to give his death value.”

The words were so familiar when they hit me. And I wondered why, until I realized they were the same ones I’ve said myself. In that funeral. He was right. We have to keep going. Keep moving on. That doesn’t mean you don’t care about his death, it just means that you do, because it shows that you care about your life too. You can’t just stop and give up, fall to the ground and be defeated when someone of yours died, because their death means their defeat, not yours. 

I remember what happened when my parents died. They were the only ones I loved in the world left, because Violet hated me, and Randy was evil. Did I stop there and give up in the rain? No, I saw their deaths as something to remind myself to keep going on. I continued, looking for food. I wanted to make sure my dad was right, that I would have a better life than him. I swore to make that true. 

“I’m sorry,” I told Theo. “You’re right. I don’t know 

what’s gotten into me.”

“You’re like the fiftieth person that’s yelled at me today, don’t worry,” he said. “When the situation is desperate, everybody gets angry. Now, come on.”

“Where are we going?” I asked, following him. 

“I don’t know. Anywhere. Away from here,” he said, but I could tell he was lying. 

“Theo, where are we really going?”

He sighed. “Fine. You know already. I’m going back to my cousin. To home.”

“Really?” I asked. 

He nodded. “Its about time.”

“We’re actually going?” 

He put a hand to his forehead. “Yes! I already said it twice. Man, sometimes you can be annoying.”

Randy thought that too. “Okay, then. Lead the way.”

“First, we leave this place.”

It was scary just doing that. All around there was  complete mayhem, with people running and screaming for their lives as the men moved in to kill every single person they see. I remembered my dad saying before he died, a hero is defined because the person only cares and saves other people’s lives. It’s not a matter of beating the villain. But how could he think something like this, happening right now, was ever good? How is Araceli a hero, when he kills other people so that his can survive with the leftover resources? 

But we were given a choice. Maybe that’s what Violet was trying to tell me, when she said to take risks. What if she was intending to join too, like Randy? But the only difference was that she had pressure on her from me and her family to not. But Randy never let anybody decide his decisions for him. If he wanted something without the approval of our parents, he would get it. Like joining Araceli. 

Everything going crazy around us was our only cover to distract any guard from looking our way. Sometimes we ran through crowds, sometimes we hid behind things. Whatever we did, it was so scary, because wherever we went we could get a bullet in the back and die without even knowing. 

Just when things were settling in this city, we had to leave it. Again. I was starting to get fond of this place, honestly more than the last one. They might not have been any more friendlier here, but nobody here was too hungry to go crazy, and there was better game in the hunting grounds here. And there were potential friends, like that girl I skipped stones with. And now she’s probably dead, from all the things going around here. She reminded me of Violet. 

Theo and I did eventually escape the madness and hide somewhere in the city where it was safe. It was like a broken down subway station, with creepy, blinking lights, but we didn’t have a choice. 

“We’re far enough from the danger,” he said, tired from running.

“But how far is your home?”

“I don’t know. But we’d make it in a day, at least. Look, there’s a map.”

Theo found a map of the city on the wall, where he found out his home was. 

“Twenty kilometres away. We have no transportation, so we have to walk. If we’re fast, two hours. If we’re moderate speed, three. And if we’re slow, then four. So it’s about a 

two to four hour walk.”

“What?” I said. “That’s a long walk.”

“You up for it?”

“Of course. Let’s go.”

This is plenty of time to think.

What’s going on in the world? What’s happening with the disaster? Are the people left in the countries fighting back? Letting them in, finding food for everybody? Or is the whole world one bloody war where everybody stabs each other for pieces of food that could mean either of their lives. 

For weeks now, whoever I was with, or if I was alone, I’d been fighting for food, killing with reason, and escaping. Always, always escaping. Running, fleeing, escaping. I’m tired of it. I don’t want my life to be like this, especially since Dad told me not to have it like this. 

How long has it been since Araceli’s campaign started? How long has it been since I entered his festival in that city? Weeks, that’s all I know. Maybe a month or two. So long that I don’t remember things that happened there. How did it start? How did the chaos everywhere in the world start? And why did the disaster happen? 

We found a man in the subways tunnels, crawling on the floor. When we took a closer look, we saw his leg was bleeding. Bleeding so badly he was going to die. I remembered his painful cries. 

Help me… Help me…

But we didn’t. Instead I put a bullet through his head to end his misery. There was no way we, or anyone nearby could save him, so we had to end his pain. It was such right logic to me that Theo didn’t even complain. 

That made me wonder, did he think that killing was right now, just like what Araceli wanted? And then it came to me that every time someone kills, I think of other people, and why they would do it. But I’ve never thought of myself. I realized that Araceli had accomplished what he’s wanted in me. To make me understand killing is okay in this world, for the greater good, and I didn’t even realize it. When I killed the man, I had a moment of panic. I threw the gun on the floor and clutched my head. “No, no, no…”

I also realized it’s exactly what I did on my first kill. 

“That’s two,” I said, breathing frantically. “No, that’s two already. I quit! I quit this life!”

“Stop it, Eli,” Theo said. “You know you had to do it. And if I did it you would be the same. You have to just accept it. Why do you not regret killing animals?”

He’s right, but I didn’t want to admit it. “You don’t understand. Araceli wants us to kill. All of us. It’ll make his job easier of reducing the population. No matter what, we should’ve left that man. Maybe there’s some hope for him, but we shouldn’t have ended his life right there and then. He came from somewhere, or he’s the last survivor, but whatever it is, he still had a chance. You always have a chance as long as you’re alive.”

“Yeah, but think about it. Nobody is going to take care of him. If even us won’t, then of course everybody else who finds him won’t either. Sometimes Araceli is right, okay? You gotta accept that. He’s right that there’s not enough food in the world for everybody, and we have to accept that too. Face it, you can’t deny that fact.”

Never, did I ever want to agree with that alien. No, he’s never right, I don’t think Theo’s serious. 

I just crumpled up and sat on the ground, and rested while my stomach grumbled. Everybody’s is, unless you’re Araceli and you get all the food you want in the world. 

“Why are you so jealous of Araceli, when you could’ve joined him?” he said. “You could’ve had what all of his followers have. Three meals a day, comfort in freedom and safety.”

“Are you kidding?” I said. “You had to agree with him for that.”

“Yeah. You just had to, but maybe deep down inside you don’t really mean it. You could’ve just joined for safety for your whole family.”

“That defeats the purpose of not agreeing! If you join him then everybody knows you’re evil, and you want bloodshed. I don’t care if it’s as simple as just saying the words, I agree, to save my life, I’ll never do it. Yeah, it’s such a simple task, and it doesn’t have to be true, but that still makes us look defeat, like we just joined because we knew we’d survive. No, joining him violates everything you believe in. It’s not just about saying those words, it’s about meaning them. And I will never do that.”

He was leaning against the wall. “I… I was thinking about it.”

Oh great. Another fool who supposedly wanted to join him but they didn’t because of reasons like they didn’t think it was right, or someone convinced them not to. Like my dad, who’s last words were saying maybe Araceli was a hero. Or I wasn’t really certain, but maybe even Violet, because she was telling me to take risks, and maybe, just maybe, she was thinking about joining him too. Maybe Randy told her, and not any of us, that he was going to join. Then what probably happened was that he asked her to join too, and she said no, because she knew I wouldn’t, and she didn’t want to betray me, her best friend in the entire world, even though she already did, when she told Randy instead of me that she had a disorder. 

“Shut up,” I said. “What’s your excuse now? Oh, I didn’t want to because I knew it was wrong, and my family didn’t want me to, even though I did.”

“I didn’t because I didn’t want to leave them behind.”

The reason caught be by surprise. “What?”

“You’re right. Nobody I knew wanted to go, but I did. But I was actually going to do it, because my family said it’s my choice. And I realized then and there they gave me that choice because they cared about me, and they wanted me to make my decisions. And I respected that, so I didn’t want to leave them behind. So I didn’t going him not because my family didn’t want me to and they thought it was wrong, but because in the end, I didn’t want to, because I didn’t want to leave any of them behind. And even though they’re dead, all of them, I don’t think any of us including me regretted our choice. Because we stood for what was right, and we were given the free choice to join him or not, but we all didn’t. I can’t say it wasn’t tempting. Imagine joining him, and then getting no hate from your family, or no resentment and anger.”

Yes, I could imagine that. What if Randy joined Araceli, and my parents and I, even Violet, approved of it? And then we didn’t care that he was gone? We didn’t care that he believed in killing people for the good of the planet? If that had happened, then I would’ve never went to go try and save him, I would’ve never almost died, and I would’ve never got to see that Araceli captured Violet and her parents. But then it hit me. No, I don’t regret going up to Araceli’s warship. Because if I didn’t, I would never know that he had Violet. And who knows, maybe he would make Randy kill her instead, since I’m not there. Just to prove his loyalty. And then she’d be dead. Instead of the reality, right now, where both of us are miraculously alive. Well, I don’t know about Violet. Dad was right about Araceli, how you don’t want to trust him. Maybe he was lying to Randy about letting her go, and she’s actually dead. 

“No, that’s not a good thing, Theo,” I said. “Not getting any hate from your family if you join him? That doesn’t show that they care about you because they gave you a choice. That shows that they don’t care about how you will grow up, because they let you believe that you have the choice to think if Araceli is right or not. If they were good parents, then they would tell you no, because they know Araceli is wrong, and they don’t want their child growing up to thinking he is right. They don’t want you thinking killing is right. Yes, we’re supposed to make our own decisions, but when we’re young, we don’t know how to yet, so our parents are there to guide us, to tell us what is right and wrong.”

He sighed. “Maybe you’re right, Eli.”

“Of course I am.”

He laughed. “We better get going.”

And we did. Back on our trail through desolate streets covered in ashes and dead bodies. The two to four hour long walk of pain and agony from looking at destruction, with no breaks or food or water. No more people, just us. That’s the long walk we had to go through, and endure. 

But we did take breaks, because we had to. There was no food or water in this trip, and there was nothing we could do to get any. For a while I thought maybe we were going to die out here. In the middle of nowhere, starving or thirsting to death, like Araceli wanted. But no, we could surely survive for longer than a few hours without water. Even days. We just had to get there, that’s all. Just a few more steps, even though I was so thirsty. 

“I don’t regret killing animals,” I told him, remembering his question, “because they’re not like us. They’re meant to be eaten by us. They’re born as livestock in our hands that we eat. That’s why I don’t regret killing them. Because they’re meant to die to us.”

As Theo nodded, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the same could be said for us. We’re supposed to die, because that is the way of things in this world. People have to die in order for there to be enough food for everybody. Just like animals in the wild. Nobody but Araceli admits that, but we all know it’s true. 

Fourteenth

At last, Theo said that we made it. I barely heard him because I was so tired I wanted to sleep. And I was so drowned in thought. 

Back in the subway station, I realized something about my parents. It came to me that they didn’t have bad parenting after all like I thought they did when they always let Violet and I walk to the town to get ice cream by ourselves. They weren’t abusive and overprotective like Dad’s, and they gave Randy and I a solid understanding of what was right and wrong. Even Randy sometimes knew that he was a bad brother, and he apologized sometimes. 

I remember in Araceli’s ship, where he was forced to shoot me. After he did, he regretted it instantly. He may have done the worst thing anyone can think of, but I’m alive, and not in Araceli’s hands because of it. So I forgive him. I never thought I would, but I did. And Violet too, for saying she wanted to kill me. I bet right now she forgave me too, because she’s just not the type to stay angry at anybody, let alone her best friend. I can’t say she doesn’t have the potential to be cruel sometimes, like when she said she wanted to kill me, but in the end she’d never actually hurt anyone. Not even a spider. Always forgiving. That’s what she was.

And now I miss them. I want them back. I want my brother to be my good older brother again, like how he used to be, and I want Violet to be my older sister again, like how she always was. They’re family.

But now I’ll never get to see them again. It made me wonder, if I could see them again, would I? Would I be scared to, and be a coward?

Maybe. I didn’t want to find out, though. And I never would be able to, anyway. So when Theo was at the front door of his cousin’s house, which was where they’d been living when all the rest of their family was gone, I tried to accept that I had a new family now. Maybe they’re not the people I know, but they’re the people Theo knows, and Theo is already like family to me. So I might never get to see anybody I knew ever again, but that’s okay, because this is a new chapter in my life. I’m letting go of the past.

Theo rang the doorbell, and a girl who I assumed was Raina opened it and nearly had a heart attack.

“Theo!” she said. “You’re alive!”

She hugged him tightly, and Theo said, “You too,” laughing. But then he made a choking noise, and said, “Water.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said, pulling away. “Of course you’d be thirsty coming back here. It’s just… we thought you were dead. Or you left, and you’d never come back.”

A pretty good prediction, considering that’s actually what happened. But I didn’t say that when he introduced me to her. He told me not to mention that bit, during one rest we took walking here. 

“Don’t,” he had told me, when he saw the smile on my face. “Don’t, or else. I don’t want them to know that I just didn’t want to take responsibility of them, so I ran away.”

“Okay, I will.”

“Eli!”

“I’m just joking. It’s just, you should, you know. And 

just apologize. They’ll understand.”

“I’m not so good with that.”

“It’s okay, me neither. I won’t tell them, I promise. But you have to make a fake reason on why you left.”

“Deal. I’ll say I went to look for food or something, then got lost.”

“That’s dumb.”

“Oh, shut up,” he had said, laughing. 

In the present, Raina was holding up a fist. “Nice to meet you, Eli.”

“You too,” I said, bumping it. “So… do you have some water?”

She had a look of surprise. “Oh, my bad. I forgot!”

She was an okay person, it seemed. Later I met her friend, too, Andrea, who Theo also mentioned. 

“Where have you and Theo been?” she asked me. 

“Around here. Like, other camps.”

“This isn’t really a camp.”

“Oh. You’re all alone out here? How do you get your food?”

“There’s like a trading market not far from here. We just trade whenever we can, but most days we go hungry.”

“Where do they get their food?”

“They hunt it. In like the forest, along with some other tribes peoples from the disaster.”

It could be the same forest in the national park that Theo and I went to, so that could mean Araceli and his men aren’t far off. I had a bad feeling we shouldn’t stay here. Too close, too dangerous. 

“So this is Raina’s house? And you’ve been here ever since?”

“Yup.”

“You’ve never went anywhere? You never starved? You never had to kill someone for food?”

“No. You?”

I didn’t answer.

“Oh, I’m sorry for asking,” she said. “I don’t know how it feels, okay? When Theo was here, before he left, he was always the one to do it, when we needed food. I always thought he didn’t regret it.”

So Theo’s done it before. A lot apparently, because of how I saw that mad look in his eyes when he killed my murderers back at the first camp.

“Hey,” she said, “you okay?”

I nodded. “Well, I regret it, I never thought I had to do it in my life, and I don’t want to be that kinda person when I’m older, ya know?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“What do you do here to pass the time?”

“Believe it or not, play board games,” she said. “But also watch the news, and trade for food. We’re kinda running out of things to trade, though.”

“Theo and I can hunt,” I said. “Well, there’s not really any woods here.”

“It’s okay. Raina and I are bored, anyway. We can go there.”

“Really? What if something happens here, like it gets robbed or something.”

“Trust me, there’s nothing to rob here. We don’t even have any money. And you still think in a world like this, people sill fight for money?”

“Maybe.”

“No. Anyway we should go tell them about it. Going to the forest to hunt, for food.”

We found Theo and Raina, and told them. Theo mostly agreed.

“You two just got here!” Raina said. “And now you want to go out again?”

“Come on, we kinda have no choice,” Theo said. “It’s okay, you don’t have to come, Raina.”

“No way, I’m coming. We’re leaving tomorrow morning, and you guys have to teach us too. So, we’ll go. Here, Eli, I’ll show you your room.”

I followed her up the stairs. When we got to a room, she stopped. “Go on,” she told me, and I went inside.

“Why are you stopping?” I asked her. 

“No reason,” she said, but I’m a person that could easily detect lies.

“Come on, Raina. Tell me what’s wrong.”

She exhaled. “This is my younger brother’s room. He was with my parents when we got separated and… and…” she wiped her eyes. 

“It’s okay,” I said. “Tell me.”

“After what happened, I swore to never enter this room again. Too painful.”

I nodded, understanding. “I’m sorry. But you know you have to move on.”

The sentence caught her off guard. “What?”

“Yeah. Just because someone died, doesn’t mean you do too. I mean, you have restrictions in your own house.”

“You don’t understand. My brother didn’t die, he joined Araceli.”

Oh. Well that’s why she didn’t want to enter his room. 

She probably hated him, now. That’s what Araceli does to families. It splits them apart. I realized this when I forgave my brother for killing me. I only hated him because I think he’s evil, but really, deep down he’s the same brother I’ve always had, and he only joined Araceli because he believed it was good, so he wasn’t really evil. 

She sat down outside the room. “You know, Eli, you’re not such a bad person.”

“You too,” I said, thinking about the girl I had apologized to for being so cold to her, saying the same thing to me. But is it true? Ever since the disaster, I’m a different person now. I yell at people, I kill the helpless to stop their misery and pain. 

“You look like you could keep some secrets,” she said. “You may not know, but there’s a real reason why I think Theo left.”

“Why?”

“He’s always wanted to join Araceli.”

“I know. He told me.”

She raised her eyebrows. “He did? Oh. But I don’t think I can trust him now, with all that and stuff. I don’t know.”

“Hey,” I said, “for all you know, you can trust me less than him. He’s good. He’s saved my life once. He swore to protect you and your friend, too.”

“I know. It’s just… don’t tell him I said that, okay? I still love him, he’s my only family left.”

I nodded. 

Later, when it turned dark, everybody went to bed, tired, after washing up. I was relieved there was running water here. 

I was so tired, but I couldn’t even fall asleep. Maybe I 

was afraid of nightmares, I don’t know. I don’t usually get them, and when I do I’m not really scared, because I know it’s just a dream. 

So instead I just thought. I thought about Silencio, and how I would miss him, and how our last conversation was me yelling at him, which I regret. But I know he would forgive me, because he isn’t one to hold grudges. He’s a person who helps people, and wants to do good for others, even in a world full of bad people. He was loyal, smart, and brave, even in the face of death, when he smiled before he died. It was almost like he talked to me when he did that.

Eli, you’re not a bad person. I forgive you. You are the best friend I could find in this world, and I hope you make it. Survive until you’re older, and if nothing happens in the world, then that means you have to do something. If nobody does, you have to. You have to make a difference, a change. Maybe start a rebellion, I don’t know. Just don’t let it end like this, for humanity. Who knows if you’ll get a second chance at life like me, so don’t waste yours.

I wish I could agree with him, but I can’t, because I’m just a kid who can’t do anything in a world like this. 

Sooner or later, I fell asleep without knowing it. 

Then I woke up to a scream. 

I woke up fast, feeling myself. It’s not a dream. Something’s happening. 

I followed the noise, still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. It led to Andrea’s room. I found Theo and Raina there, both trying to calm her down. 

“What’s happening?” I asked Theo, closest to me. 

Andrea was just screaming, upright in her bed, her eyes wide open but seeing nothing.

“You’ve never heard of night terrors?” he told me. 

“No.”

He exhaled. “Look, Eli, you weren’t supposed to know about this. I wanted you to sleep in. Raina and I can take care of it. We always do.”

“I would never sleep in to this. I’m not a heavy sleeper.”

“I know.”

“What can I do to help her?” I asked. 

“Nothing. Just calm her down, and be there for her when it’s over. We’ve tried everything. It’s just something that even doctors can’t fix. It’s just from lifelong anxiety and depression, from the fear of hunger, and from abusive people around her. She told us it started when she was little, when her parents had to kill people for food. The truth is, all of our parents had to, because you know how there’s not really enough food in the world, even in first world countries.”

I remember my dad also saying he had to kill back then too, for food. He had said he didn’t like it, but he had to. 

“How often does this happen?” I asked. 

Theo shook his head. “Every night. Every single stupid night.”

“Yeah, and since you left, Theo, I’ve had to comfort her by myself,” Raina said. “When he was here, we took turns comforting her every night, but then he left and I never get much sleep now.”

“I can do it tonight,” I said. “Get some rest, Raina. And you, Theo.”

“No way,” Raina told me. “You’re the one who just came 

here, and you need the most rest. I’ll do it tonight.”

“No Raina,” I said. “It’s okay. I can do it.”

She sighed. “When she wakes up, she won’t remember a thing about this. You just tell her it happened.”

“Eli, this is no regular nightmare of hers,” Theo said. “She’s had a lifetime of being scared by attackers. Sometimes she goes mad in her night terror and attacks anyone she sees, because she can’t distinguish the people she knows between the murderers in her head�"like right now!”

Andrea seemed to have broken out of her trance and was looking for something, until she found a lamp beside her turned on, and grabbed it, about to smash it on Theo’s head, but he wrestled it out of her hands. 

“Hold her down, Raina, just like we always do!” Theo yelled. 

They each grabbed an arm, and I felt like I should do something, so I pinned down her legs. She tried thrashing around, and after a minute of all of us just holding on with pure terror, she finally calmed down and went to sleep. Just like that. 

All three of us were breathing heavily, even more exhausted now. 

“You do this every night?” I said. “That, is the most scariest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Yeah, you’re not going to stay here alone,” Theo told me. “Not when she can be like that again. Sometimes it happens multiple times in a night, you know.”

“I just can’t believe this happens every night,” I said. “Poor you two. You’d do this just for her?”

“Of course, what else can we do?” Raina said. “And if 

we don’t hold her down, and we just sleep, she might find something sharp around the house and murder us all with it!” I could tell Raina was angry, maybe at me for asking, or maybe at Theo because she had to do this every single night by herself, with no help. I suddenly felt sorry for her. 

“You said this was from depression and anxiety?” I asked Theo. “She seemed fine earlier. Not like, you know, a depressed person.”

“She hides it, every day, for the sake of us not going crazy too,” he said. “It’s hard for her, but she manages. She’s the strongest person I know, and she’s lived a scarier life than all of us. None of us had abusive parents, or a fear of every day waiting to die because of having no food. Or a fear of killers entering their house, overpowering her dad, who always protected them, and then killing her. Her life was scary every second, with dangers everywhere. And then, ever since the rise of Araceli, the events leading to that, and then now even the disaster, it’s too much for her. Her night terrors are worse, now. When she’s in that state, and she looks into your eyes, you see her, but it’s not her. And she’s looking at you, but she’s seeing someone she needs to kill to be safe. It’s painful, because I remember a time when she wasn’t like this, when she was innocent and happy and playful, the person that Raina befriended. Now, we just keep her alive and safe.”

I looked at Raina, and she didn’t want to meet my eyes. “Honestly, I don’t know how she lives,” she said. “But there’s no way I’m going to leave her, in the dark. She deserved much more than this. In fact, we deserved those night terrors way more than her, because she’s never taken a single soul in her life! She’s innocent, while Theo and I are the ones who have killed before! And I hate it! I hate doing it, even if it’s for food, and I hate being alive to remember it! It’s sick!”

She buried her face in her knees.

“Raina�"” I began.

“No! I don’t want you to see me like this. I’m not like this, I don’t break down this easily. I’m fine. I don’t want your pathetic sympathy.”

“Raina, I’ve killed before, too. And my parents. Don’t think only you and Theo have done it, and don’t be guilty, because everyone in this world has probably done it to survive at least once, anyway.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” she said, her voice muffled. 

“You don’t deserve the night terrors any more than Andrea. None of us do. Only the evil people in this world. And maybe you’ve had to kill before, but that doesn’t make you evil.”

“Yes it does. Because I had to do it so I could grab their food, and live!”

“Eli, leave her alone, for now,” Theo said. “Just rest.”

I sighed, and got up to leave. “Are you going to, too?”

He shook his head. “We usually stay here, sleep on the floor for the night. We have to be there for her when she wakes up, remember?”

I nodded. So then I went back to my spot on the floor, against the bed. I leaned back on it and tried to fall asleep, after what I’d just seen. All three of us there, sleeping on the floor of Andrea’s room, so when she wakes up, she won’t have to feel alone. 

Fifteenth

Hey, Eli,” I heard a voice say, just as I was waking up. I barely got any sleep that night, one of the scariest nights in my life. 

I looked up to see Andrea, awake and smiling. I remembered Raina telling me what to tell her when she woke up.

“You had a night terror,” I told her. 

“Yeah, my head’s hurting,” she said, putting a hand to her forehead. Then she sighed. “You weren’t supposed to know about it, you know.”

“I know,” I said. “But I woke up to your screams. You okay?”

“I think. You know, it’s not such a surprise anymore, you don’t have to tell me. It happens every night. There’s not even one occasion, one night it doesn’t happen. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.”

“What did I do?”

“You tried to smash a lamp on Theo’s head, and when we pinned you down, you tried to escape. It felt so long until it finally ended, and you finally calmed down.”

“Oh, so one of the easier nights,” she said. 

What? One of the easier nights? I was afraid to see one of the hard nights. Maybe she would find knives to use or something. 

“I’m so scared,” she said. “I wish it could stop. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“No really, it’s fine. You don’t have to be sorry, it’s not 

your fault. If it makes you feel better, I kind of get visions and headaches too.” I remembered getting them when I was running to Silencio’s aid, twice. 

“Why?”

“I don’t know, but they do come.”

“I guess we have something in common then. We both don’t know what causes them.”

“What did you feel when you were screaming?” I asked. 

“Nothing. That’s the thing, I don’t remember it. I may have looked like I was awake, with my eyes open, but I was still asleep, trapped in a nightmare that I thought wouldn’t end. What did your vision look like?”

I tried to remember. “I think… it felt like I was in the eyes of another person. I know, it sounds weird, but it felt like that. I was like, at an indigenous camp. I don’t remember much. What was your nightmare?”

She had a confused look on her face. “Weird. I forget the bad things, but I remember one good thing coming out of it.”

“What was it?”

“You know how everybody thinks the population problem isn’t solvable without one side of people getting angry? Well, it is. If we found another planet, and started farming there, and having more space there, for more people, so earth isn’t crowded anymore. At least, that was the situation. In my dream, I was one of the people going to another planet, colonizing it.”

“But you know it’s still not a solution, right?” I said. “The population problem all started before we can colonize another planet.”

“I know,” she said. “Oh. That’s why it turned into a 

nightmare. I remember now. I just thought… well, that I came up with a solution to the population problem, and I would be famous and rich when I woke up and proposed it to everyone. But now I realize how dumb it is. With all the things happening in the world, who would even think of going to space right now?” 

I smiled, and she smiled back, which ended up both of us laughing.

“Aren’t we supposed to go hunting for food today?” she said, getting up. “Let’s wake Raina and Theo.”

They did not want to get up, after barely having sleep last night, but they did eventually. All of us got ready, and I took no time at all since I had little to no stuff of mine. I pulled Theo aside so nobody else could hear what I would say to him.

“Do you think Araceli isn’t far off?” I asked him. “I mean, what if this is the same forest we hunted in. It’s really big, and we didn’t walk super far. Maybe we think we’re safe from him, but really we’re just outrunning. I’m telling you this because if it’s true, then I don’t know what to do. I hoped you would.”

“I say don’t worry too much,” he told me. “Look, Eli, this place has already been attacked once by Araceli, and Raina and Andrea are the only survivors, since they were somewhere else at the time and they came back. I don’t think he’s going to come here again, especially since we don’t really have a camp here.”

“I’m not saying they’re going to come here to finish survivors, I’m saying they might just round this corner on their march and they’ll find us on the way to wherever they’re going. And kill us.”

“Okay, what about this,” he said, “we’re going to spend the whole day in the forest. That’s way more than enough time for them to get here, more than two to four hours to walk here too. If we come back, and see them, then we run. If they’re not here, either they already came, or didn’t yet, or won’t at all. But we’ll just continue using the house.”

I wasn’t sure if I was a hundred percent satisfied with that plan, but I guess it was the best we could do. Why leave now, when maybe I’m just being paranoid and they won’t even come here? 

“Should we tell them?” I asked. 

“I don’t think we need to, because they probably won’t even come. And I don’t want to scare Andrea anymore. She’ll go crazy if she realizes Araceli could come again.”

I nodded, agreeing.

We went out the door and started for the forest. The trip there was mostly silent. Just us watching the ashes in the air fall to the ground, and the rubble of buildings in heaps on the ground. 

We arrived at a place which I thought must’ve been the market Raina and Andrea always went to for food. There were a lot of people, some in booths selling roasted duck and turkey from the forest. Some of them were people from the disaster, with some tribes peoples and some British and French soldiers in uniforms. It felt like you were in a different century, but then you saw regular modern people wearing their clothes, and you still felt back in your time. 

“Why can’t you use this place forever?” I asked, but before either Raina or Andrea could answer, I said, “oh yeah, right. You can’t trade things forever, and you don’t have money.”

“And there’re a lot of people here, usually more day by day,” Andrea said. “Surely there’s not going to be enough. You know, before the disaster, we had no trouble getting enough food that we wanted, but now there’s just too many people. Too many people with better trades than us.”

“Do they still take money?” I asked her. “That’s something all of these people don’t have, coming from the disaster.”

“I’m not sure if anybody still uses money now, or if they trade only for the goods.”

“Do you think this place could be a target for Araceli?” I whispered to Theo. “And we’re pretty close to it.”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I told you to not worry too much.”

Okay, so maybe I was being paranoid. But you can never be too safe from Araceli. Never. He always comes unexpected, so the only way not to be surprised is if you’re always expecting him, even when you think you’re safe and really far away. Just one hunting trip overnight in the woods, and when we came back we were being attacked. Like they came out of nowhere, with their scary, dark visors covering the whole face. They were creepy that way, not feeling human to me. Maybe they really are aliens. What if this whole time Araceli struck a deal with aliens to hunt us down, and we think they’re us? What if Araceli is an alien? What if this whole thing is an alien invasion from the start, covered up by genocide? What if the aliens have superior technology that allowed them to bring back the dead, and that’s how�"

“Eli? You coming?” I heard Theo say to me. “I mean, it’s a cool sight, but we don’t have all day to stare.”

I was frozen, staring at the market. “Sorry,” I said, “just drowned in thought.”

No, they’re not aliens. I felt their humanity as much as mine when I killed that one blocking my way to saving Silencio, back at the last camp. Human body, human blood, human weapons. 

The forest wasn’t too far off, now that we reached the market. 

“We’re here,” Raina said. “Remember everyone, don’t get lost, stick together, we’re a team, okay? Please, I don’t want to encounter a bear alone.”

Theo and I burst out laughing. 

“What? I’m afraid of bears,” she confessed. 

“Okay, fine,” Theo said. “We’re a team. Nothing’s gonna separate us. Not even a bear.”

“Hey, they’re pretty scary when you find one,” I said. Raina punched me in the arm playfully and said, “Thanks, Eli.”

When we reached the forest, Theo and I got to work setting up traps with the materials we had from the house, gathering edible plants, netting fish, shooting animals. The whole day we worked and worked, while Raina and Andrea watched us, studied us, and tried to copy us. They learned a lot. Oh, and we encountered no bears. 

We stuffed all the food we had in sacks, and we grew tired. One good day used carefully. This was just the start of our everyday life. The start of something new. A new beginning. It was just our first day. 

“Good work everyone,” Theo said. “Let’s pack and go home, shall we?”

The road home was peaceful, with the night sky and 

nobody around. When we found the house safe and sound, no broken pieces, Theo and I looked at each other and an understanding passed between us, that Araceli hasn’t arrived yet. And he may never, we don’t know. 

“Let’s eat dinner and get some sleep,” Raina said, sounding sleepy herself. 

Andrea hasn’t said a single word since this morning, even throughout the whole day. I hope she’s okay. I know for sure when Raina told us to get some sleep she was thinking she’d get another night terror. No, it was a fact now, there was no doubting. It happens every single night. 

“Hey,” I told her, “don’t worry, it’s going to be a restful night tonight, okay?”

She groaned and close her eyes. “Can we please not talk about that?”

Oh. I should’ve known she wouldn’t want to. “I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“No, I’m sorry for being like this. I always see the negative in everything, and I don’t know how to fix my depression. I don’t think it can ever be fixed. I know you were just trying to help me.”

I nodded. “I should just stop. It just makes you more sad.”

I was about to leave, before she said, “No, wait! It’s very sweet, okay? Don’t stop, it makes me feel better. Even though I know whatever you say will never be true, I can still choose to believe it.”

I doubted it helped her. Maybe she didn’t want me to feel bad. “No, I should just stop.”

She was fighting tears. “Okay, maybe you should. You’re right, it doesn’t really help me. Maybe you should just… I 

don’t know, put a bullet through m�"”

“No!” I said. “No, I would never do that. Why would I? And I’m not letting you do that either. No matter how depressed you are. You’re not going to die. You want me to make you a promise? You’re going to live longer than Araceli. I promise. You can hold on to that promise as long as you live, and believe in it as much as you want.”

“But I know it’s not true.”

“It is, believe me. And to make sure I’ll even kill him myself.”

She nodded, wiping her eyes, letting me end it there. 

For the rest of the week, we did the same thing. In the day, we hunted as much as we could. In the night, we comforted Andrea as much as possible when she would wake up screaming, and try to kill us. 

The whole week felt like such a cycle, every day felt like the last, exactly the same. In the morning we woke, hunted, got to know each other more and more as we did, eat what we caught for lunch, honed our skills together. In the night when we returned home, Theo and I were scared every time if we might find Araceli, but every time we found nothing, and it just confirmed I was being paranoid. We ate dinner, talked, shared jokes, play board games, laugh, and slept in our own rooms, even if we all knew we’d have to get up sometime in the middle of the night and tiredly move to Andrea’s room. Because like Raina said, we’re a team, and we don’t leave one another behind, because we look out for each other. 

There are nights when I get headaches so bad, there’s nothing I can do but lie down. But I don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to make more problems for us all, we have enough. Sometimes I miss dinner when it happens, and I just stay in my room. It’s too painful, so I just lie in my bed and clutch my head, wishing it could stop. And it always does. But then it always comes back. I don’t know what causes it. 

One night it came back again, and I told Theo, Raina, and Andrea I’d just miss dinner again and eat tomorrow, because I was too tired. I guess Raina didn’t believe it this time, because when my headache stopped and I could see clear again, I saw her standing at the door, arms folded. 

“Come on,” she said. “Tell me what’s wrong. You think I’m buying this? What’s happening? Why are you always missing dinner? You can tell me, I’m a person that can keep secrets too.”

I sighed. “I don’t know,” I said, and this time, I wasn’t lying. 

“No more secrets, Eli. Just the truth from now on. From this point on, we keep no secrets from each other, we’re a team. Understand?”

I nodded. 

“Now tell me what’s wrong.”

“I get a headache every so often, and I don’t know what causes it, and when it happens, I have to lay in bed, it’s too painful.”

“What?” she said. “Why didn’t you tell us? Come on, we’re your friends. We can help you.”

No you can’t. “I just didn’t want to cause any more problems for all of us. It’s okay, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“Aww, Eli,” she said, shaking her head. She took a few steps closer and ruffled my hair. “Come on, you should’ve 

told us. Maybe you’re sick or something.”

“You’re inside the room,” I said, surprised. 

“I know, shut up,” she said, ignoring it. “Anyway, man, do I hate you so much sometimes.”

“Why?”

“You’re too nice! You wouldn’t tell us something’s troubling you because you don’t want it to trouble us.”

“I didn’t want to give you three a problem that you can’t fix,” I said. “Also, don’t call me nice. I hate being called nice, when I’ve killed two helpless people, one starving to death and the other helpless and injured on the ground. I’ve always been getting angry and hurting everyone around me and I… I… just don’t call me that, okay? It makes me think I’m a sympathetic weakling or something. A fairy little princess that favours unicorns and rainbows. And that’s not what you want to be in this world. Don’t. Call. Me. That!”

She looked at me with sad eyes. “Eli, I think you’re turning crazy.”

“No, you’re doing it again,” I said. I took a deep breath and exhaled. “Can you leave me alone?”

“It’s okay, we’re all turning a bit mad. There’s nothing sane about anything in this world.”

“Please,” I said. “Just go! Before I hurt you more. You should’ve never entered the room. You just broke your oath.”

Pity filled her eyes. “Just get better for me, okay? Whatever’s bothering you, make it stop. No more secrets.” Then she left. Nobody else came to see me, and I wanted it that way. 

Swears can be broken. I’ve seen it now. If Raina can let go of a swear that easily, what makes my promise of killing 

Araceli immune to breaking too?

And maybe I am turning mad, too. What’s happening to me? I don’t know, and that’s what I’m afraid of. Whenever there’s something I don’t know, I hate it. 

I saw a baseball bat on the floor of the room, and  grabbed it. “What’s. Happening. To. Me!” I yelled, hitting it against the wall with every syllable. Then I got so mad I just threw it against the wall. I had teared up the whole room. This isn’t like me. 

I curled up into a ball, burying my face in my knees. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for breaking your house,” I apologized to Raina, even though I wasn’t talking to anybody. “I don’t know why I did it, it was a mistake, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

I know they can hear me. There’s nobody in the room but it’s not a big house. Raina probably told them about my headaches too. They can hear my cries for help, and they know they can’t do anything, so they’re probably just sitting there and wincing every time I yell, and just leaving me alone because it’s what I wanted. Feeling so sorry for me down there, wishing they could help me. And here I am wishing I can help myself, too. 

I fall asleep, peacefully, with no disturbances. Until the usual screaming that wakes us all up from Andrea. And I’m usually the first to wake up, get off the bed, and run there to make her feel better, but this time I’m too tired and I can’t. I’ve got my own issues too, and I hope Theo and Raina can understand. They probably want me to rest. If I do get up and meet them there, they’re probably just going to tell me they’ve got it and just usher me back to my room. 

So I apologize to Andrea too, for not going there, and I 

apologize to Theo and Raina for giving them one more problem they don’t want, the very same thing I didn’t want to do. And for keeping secrets from them. They must hate me for being so selfish, but right now I can’t help it, I’m too tired, and I’m just going to hurt more people if I wake up. I want to sleep forever. 

So I don’t get up, and I leave them to solve their own problems by themselves. Without me. Without the complete team. I leave them in the dark. 

Sixteenth

There are one hundred ten billion people in the world. One hundred billion that came back. If Araceli even manages to exterminate the former population before the disaster, there’d still be one hundred billion people left. When Theo told me Araceli is right about the world running out of food, I should’ve believed him. It’s true, Araceli is right, we’re running out of food. I just didn’t want to agree with him on anything, being the man that he is. 

If he manages to kill half of that population, that’s still too much to feed. And I doubt he even has enough men to kill one billion people. 

So his best hope is for all of us to starve. Today in the news we are informed that he is doubling protection against his farms which give the food for his people, and he is bombing all the forests. Well, all the ones he can find. Ours wasn’t bombed yet. With all the bombs that he’s already launched, this planet’s going to be a wasteland that we can’t live on. So much for saving the planet. 

In the room, where all of us are sitting on couches, nobody seems to care about what’s going on in the world. There’s tension in the air, too. Nobody has said a word, and I didn’t want it to stay that way. I didn’t want us to split apart, and for things to never be the same between all of us ever again. So I felt like I had to speak first. 

“I’m sorry, okay?” I said. “I know you guys are all angry at me. For everything. Andrea, I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” she said. “Okay? Stop. You abandoned me. All 

of you! Nobody was there when I woke up, and I thought you guys left me. I felt so alone, and I wanted to die right there! I was scared the whole night, I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to sleep, or else I’d get another nightmare and I’d wake to find nobody again. N�"Nobody was there! I�"I…”

She started crying and tried to leave fast enough so we couldn’t see. 

Nobody said a word. 

Then Theo said, “What? Nobody was there?”

“Are you kidding me?” Raina said. “Why was nobody there? Theo? Eli? Why weren’t you guys there?”

Suddenly I got angry, and I stood up. “Oh, you guys are wondering why I wasn’t there? Why weren’t you, huh? After I’m so tired from getting skull-splitting headaches, needing rest, and you expect me to be there?”

“Hey!” Theo said, standing up. “That’s not an excuse! You’re always there first! We’re tired too, okay? We all thought the other two out of the three of us would be there, but we thought wrong. Can we just all admit�"”

“No!” Raina said, jumping to her feet. “Eli’s right, Theo! He needed the rest most, and I needed it too, because you abandoned us! Think about what you’ve done, huh? You left me to comfort her all by myself, and like the seventh night you’re back, you already think it’s too much and you need a break, so you just leave me and Eli to do it ourselves, when we need the rest way more than you!”

“Guys, we can’t fight�"” Theo began.

“Stop making excuses!” I said. “It’s your fault! Yours! You can’t blame it on us!” I pushed him and he stumbled back. 

“He! What are you doing?” he said. 

And then we argued. All three of us yelling and making accusations, trying to take the blame off ourselves by putting it on someone else. When in reality, nobody wanted to admit that it was all our fault. We all thought the other two would be there, so we could take that night to rest, because we were all so tired from waking up every night, but we were wrong. None of us came, and we abandoned our post. 

But it’s all Theo’s fault, Raina’s right. He needed the rest the least. Nothing has happened to him, he doesn’t have any problems. I got so angry at him during the argument, I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed a glass and raised it,  about to smash it on his head, before Raina caught me.

“No!” she went in front of him. “Stop that! Please! Don’t hurt him!” 

It was all happening so fast, I was considering smashing it on her head instead. Why is she defending Theo? It’s all his fault! 

But then I saw her pleading eyes, so full of pity and disgust for me. 

“Eli, what’s gotten into you?” she asked sadly. Theo also met my eyes, and he looked sorry for me too. 

I couldn’t look at either of them, so I looked down at the ground. “I don’t know. I thought you were on my side. Not his.”

“Eli…” she said, touching my arm. “I am. But do you think hurting him is going to make you feel better?”

I shrugged her hand off my shoulder. And her sympathy. I was still so frustrated, with everything, so I still threw the glass, but at the wall. It shattered with a loud sound, and she was right, it didn’t make me feel better, so I just went out the door. I wanted to run. Escape again. Keep escaping my whole life. Any people I find, any paradise I find, I can only have it for a moment before I have to escape. I’m tired of running. I’m tired of always being scared. I’m leaving for good. I’m going to find a place where Theo, Raina, and Andrea can’t find me, and I’m going to sit there and die. Just starve to death. It helps the world, anyway. One more death in the population. Just one more death. So insignificant, such a small number, but it still helps.

I know that they won’t miss me. They won’t care about me. They’ll be glad I’m gone, and they’ll forget me just like that. They’re better off without me. I just hurt everyone I see. I should just leave the earth. 

But when I do find a place to sit down, and bury my head in my knees again, I know it’s not true. They’ll look for me. Because we’re a team, and nothing’s going to separate us. Not even a bear. They want me to come home, and they want me to feel better, not worse. Because they know how I feel, and they want to help.

I don’t know why, but that thought makes me feel even worse. I fought back the tears as they filled my eyes. I don’t know what’s happening to me. It’s like I’m a different person. Is that possible? Can personalities change? 

I can’t go back and apologize. I just can’t. It’s impossible for me. Things’ll never be the same between me and them. They won’t trust me anymore. They can’t depend on me. They never will ever again. 

I know they just want to help me. They’ll say it’s not my fault, and they’ll take the blame or something. Just to make me feel better. Even though it is my fault. So in this helpless moment, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want them to find me, but at the same time I do. Maybe I’m just homesick and I wish Violet was still with me, because whenever I get this angry she’d be the one to help me. She always knows what I need to feel better. Maybe like a glass of lemonade or something, or a joke. 

But there’s nothing left for me to say to them now. I’ve caused enough damage to our team, and there’s no turning back. 

I’m going to leave for good. So I got up and went. 

“Eli!”

Oh no, they’ve found me. I turned around and saw just Andrea. When she embraced me, I felt relieved that she wasn’t angry, but I still had tears because I still did it, it was still my fault, I don’t deserve a chance at redemption. 

“Don’t go. It’s okay, I know how you feel, I forgive you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” she said. “I forgive all of you. I survived the night, and you all did too. You’re right, last night was a restful one, because I didn’t find a knife and murder you all. I only had a bad dream. I think it’s getting better.”

“Are you…” my voice was shaking, so I tried again. “Are you just saying that to make me feel better?”

“No!” she said. “It’s actually getting better. I’m asking for too much from you guys. It’s okay, I can survive a night alone now. You can trust me. You guys need some rest too.”

“We can just take turns every night, we don’t have to stop.”

“I want you too.”

“But I don’t want to.”

“Look, I don’t know what it is, but you’re turning a bit crazy just like everyone else. I don’t find it surprising, considering the world that we’re all living in right now. So shut up about not needing any rest, because you obviously do. All of you. Also, you can’t take turns, because when I’m attacking you need all of you to pin me down. Theo told you, right? In my dream I can’t tell the difference between a friend or a villain that I need to kill.”

“But what if I don’t trust you? You might be wrong and one night when we’re all sleeping through your screams you murder us all?”

“Eli, do you want this rest or not?”

I really wanted it, but I didn’t want to feel like a person that needed help. 

“C’mon,” she said, “you’re being too nice. You don’t have to, you know.”

“Don’t call me nice,” I said. “But fine, I’ll take it.”

When we returned, I went straight for the stairs forcing myself to not look at Theo or Raina. 

“Eli,” Raina said. “You’re back.”

“Shh, give him a break,” Andrea told her. 

But I could hear the excitement in Raina’s voice, which told me they weren’t angry and they were relieved that I returned and I wasn’t going to abandon them like Theo did. 

I crashed on the bed and just tuned in to their conversation downstairs, which they probably don’t know I’m listening to. 

“Should we still go hunting?” I heard Theo asking. 

“Theo! Of course not!” Raina said. “Let’s just call it off for today. If we leave, he’ll be alone when he wakes up. We don’t that to happen.”

“Raina, I know him,” Theo said. “He won’t want us to starve just for his sake. He’s not weak. He won’t care if he 

wakes up alone, he’ll just wait until we come back. He doesn’t like needing all this help and attention. He doesn’t want it.”

“I’m not going.”

“Me too,” Andrea said. “We’re a team, and we don’t leave anyone behind.”

“Can you stop that cliche nonsense? We need food!” Theo said. 

“Sorry,” Raina said. 

After that, I didn’t hear anything else because my headache came back. It doesn’t usually come at this time of the day, so it must be getting worse. If it continues like this, I’m going to be missing lunch as well as dinner. I’m already so hungry and tired. Such an impossible amount of both, so unmeasurable. 

I just have to clutch my head and sit through the pain until it’s over.

It felt like an eternity before my headache stopped. 

But before it did, I had a daydream. It was like a revelation. I heard the name of a person, one that might be the one causing these problems of mine. I recalled Silencio telling me this, but I don’t remember when. Something about a twin soul. I just know whenever I think of the words, my head starts to hurt. 

The name is Jayden. That’s the person I have to hunt down and kill, if I ever want to feel sane again. He’s been on this earth for as long as I can remember, as a little child, whenever I saw his shadow in the wheat fields. The thing is, I’m the person he has to hunt down if he wants to feel normal again, too. So if I’m lucky, he’ll find me first. We each have a piece of our soul, we don’t know who it truly belongs to. We have to duel to the death for it. I know he won’t give it up that easily. 

I have to remember now. Jayden. The person I have to find on this planet and kill. I don’t know who he is. He could be a small child, or an old man, or anywhere in between. He could be from the past, or the present. All I know is that I have to find him. And when I look into his eyes when I kill him, I know I will regret it. 

Or it will be the other way around. 

But now my headache pain is over, and I’m back in reality, only to see Theo trying to shake me, calling my name. 

“Eli! Snap out of it! We have to go, now!”

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, unsure what all the commotion was about. 

“I didn’t know what to do,” he said. “You were just rolling around and groaning holding your head, and you weren’t asleep. I’ve been trying to get you back this whole time.”

“Why?”

“Because Araceli is here!” 

“What?”

“We have to go, now!”

“Where’re the others?”

“They’re downstairs. Raina’s assuring Andrea that we’ll be okay, we just have to get outta here. You know how another visit from Araceli will really break her.”

“Okay,” I said, about to jump off the bed. “But first, you have to apologize.”

“For what?”

“For everything.”

“C’mon, we don’t have time for this.”

“You’re trying to avoid it.”

“Fine, but you have to apologize too. For running away. You won’t believe how much it worried all of us.”

“Fine. Three, two, one…”

We both said sorry at the same time.

“We have to hurry!” he said. “They’re roaming the streets. We have to escape before they surround us.”

“Where do we go?” I asked as I grabbed my things and we ran downstairs. 

“I don’t know. I do know a place that might be safe. Might. It’s a refuge right beside a tribal camp of people from the disaster. Nobody goes near them, because anyone that does gets immediately impaled by spears. None of Araceli’s men have wanted to touch the place either, so it might be our safest bet.”

“What about our food source? Is it near a forest? Our home? Our�"”

“I said safest bet, not best. Let’s just make it there first, shall we?”

I nodded, and we found Raina and Andrea. Andrea looked like she just saw a ghost. Scared out of her mind, while Raina tried to calm her down. 

“Don’t panic, it’s going to be all right,” she was telling her. 

“You don’t understand! Mommy told me there won’t be anymore strangers tonight! Why do you have to go out still, daddy? Don’t bring your gun! No more killing for you, mommy said!”

Raina looked at us when we came down. “I think she’s talking to someone else.”

“Definitely,” Theo said. 

A moment passed between all three of us, all sad for her. 

“I remember…” Raina said, sniffing back tears. “I remember a time when she was happy, and she cheered up everyone in the classroom telling jokes and sharing things and laughing. She was the class pet, and we all watched out for her, because we knew she would always look out for us. This… I don’t even know if she remembers who she was before. I don’t even know if this can be fixed.”

“Hey, you better pull yourself together now, or we won’t make it,” I told her. “Tell me what she’s talking about.”

She looked at me, and she understood. No more secrets.

“I think…” she wiped her eyes. “I think she’s remembering a past event, when her dad went out of the house with a gun to scare off strangers in the night who wanted to steal food from them. And her mother said he should stop.”

“It’s going to be okay,” I told Andrea. “We’re here, all your friends. We’re going to pull through, no matter what, as long as you stay with us. So get yourself back to reality, and we have to move.”

Her eyes focused on me, and she nodded. She was back. 

“Okay, so Theo leads us,” I said. “Everyone has what they need?”

Everybody said yes or nodded. We were ready. 

“No breaks,” I said, “no mistakes. Keep up, or else we might lose you. Nobody left behind, nobody go near the spotlights. If you do, good luck for us all.”

I looked at Theo. “Lead the way.”

Seventeenth

I’m tired of running. I’m tired of escaping. Wherever we’re going, it’s going to be my final home. And if Araceli finds us there, then my final resting place. If he keeps finding me, then he already won. I’m not going to live a life running from him. Death is more acceptable. 

In the middle of the night, with hours of walking already, we’re exhausted, but we still keep up our pace, staying away from the spotlights of helicopters, jeeps, and firearms being held by soldiers on foot. We can’t make a sound, or else we’d give ourselves away. And this would not have been possible in the morning, when there’s light. 

Theo doesn’t know how far it is, but he knows the way. We’re all counting on him, depending on him, most important, trusting him, to lead us there. That’s what the four of us are built on. Trust. We’re a team, and we help each other. We look out for one another, and we need to do it for the rest of our lives if we’re to survive.

Hidden by the forest, we continue in our escape. Anybody who whimpers or makes a single sound is shushed immediately, including me sometimes. Not even the slightest bit of sound. Once they know we’re here, they’ll hunt us down like dogs. 

Keeping our heads low, we duck under hills and always tread on deep ditches or lower ground to keep us out of sight. It’s scary, treading through a forest when we can be spotted any second. The helicopters are flying around everywhere, always on patrol, tying to sniff out any humans, any rebels. Anyone who thought killing is bad, so basically, every sane person in the world. 

“I’m thirsty,” Andrea whispered, and we all shushed her at the same time, which created a bit more noise. I can’t really see her, but I think she’s embarrassed for making a mistake that could’ve killed us all. 

“Here,” Raina said, slowly rummaging through her pack to find a water bottle. Unzipping almost made me go crazy. It was so loud! 

“Quieter!” Theo whispered, also hearing the unzip. He whispered so low, we almost couldn’t hear. 

The night grew darker the deeper we went, and the more tired we got the more time went by. 

“Are we almost there?” Andrea asked in such a low whisper I couldn’t have imagined it possible. 

“If you’re guilty about almost killing us all, don’t worry, you’re far off from that,” I told her. 

“I’m not,” she said, even though I know her well and she is, and that’s why she’s even quieter now when she whispers. 

The sounds of the forest are eerie, and the darkness doesn’t help. I keep seeing things, and hoping they’re not real. 

“Okay, I can’t be the only one feeling creeped out right now,” Raina said, frightened. “Theo?”

“I’m here,” he said. “Don’t worry.”

A moment later, she said, “Eli?”

“I’m here too, and you know that. And Andrea. Why do you keep asking?”

“It calms me, saying your name,” she said. 

I agree, it does. I always used to do it, whenever I’m alone and scared in our house at night, and my parents are gone again. I had to yell throughout the whole house for Randy, even though I knew he was there. 

“Yeah little bro?” he would yell back, and I would say, “Nothing. Just checking if you’re here.”

“I get scared easily,” Raina said. “That’s why I�"don’t tell anybody else�"I sleep with a lamp on.”

“No secrets,” I said. 

“No secrets.”

“Man, that’s wasting power,” Theo said. 

“Shut up, Theo!”

I couldn’t help holding back a laugh. 

“Theo…” Andrea said, also sounding like she’s holding back a laugh, “you’re gonna kill us all. Don’t make us laugh!”

After a while, he said, “Sorry.”

He reminded me of a kid Violet and I met when we went to the town to get ice cream. He was funny, telling us a few jokes. 

When he left, Violet was still laughing, and I said, “You think he’s funny, huh?”

She tried to stop laughing, but couldn’t help it. 

“It’s okay, yeah, he’s funny,” I said. “Ha, ha.”

“You don’t like him, do you?”

“How do you always find out?”

“Why worry? You think he’s going to win any of us over through ten long years of friendship?”

“No.”

“Correct. I’m still your friend. And nobody will steal any of us over. Never. That’s what friends are for. In the darkest times, friends will always be there. So you gotta be there for them, too. Remember that, okay?”

“Okay.”

Back in reality, Theo whispered, “We’re almost there, guys.”

I knew we all felt relieved. 

In a few more hours, we did arrive. It seemed like Theo knew the path well, and we found ourselves in a tiny neighbourhood at the edge of the city, with a forest next to us, filled with tents of tribal people. Their camp was bigger than ours, surrounded by a wall of upright logs, sharpened at the top. All I could think of was how many there were to make all of that in just a few weeks. 

Someone was there to greet us. “Welcome,” he said. “Camping near the dangerous tribal camp too?”

“Yeah,” Theo said. 

“Don’t go near there, or else they’ll kill you right when you enter that wooden gate of theirs. We’ve had… casualties before.”

“Do you have any food?”

“No, I’m sorry, we don’t. Everybody here is starving. People die every day. I’m pretty sure in the other camp people starve there, too. So, make yourselves at home.”

When he left, we found a random vacant house and called it our own. 

“Are you sure Araceli is off our trail?” I asked Theo. 

“Don’t worry too much,” he said. 

Fine. I won’t worry about our own lives. That’s what he wants. 

We each chose a room, even though we all knew we’d be leaving it in the middle of the night. And we all slept without a word to each other since we were all tired. I remembered Andrea telling me we didn’t have to get up anymore to comfort her because we needed rest, too. I had to count on the fact that she told the others too, or else when only they come, they’ll think I’m selfish. 

Or they’ll understand that I’m going through things, too. 

But that’s no excuse. Violet told me, in the darkest times, friends have to be there for each other. 

So instead of ignoring it when I heard the screams in the middle of the night, I forced myself to get off my bed and get there. 

It seemed like I was too late, or I was too slow getting up, because Theo and Raina were already there, and Andrea was asleep again. 

“Too slow,” Theo said. 

“What are you doing here?” Raina said, getting up and nudging me out of the room.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “I came as usual.”

“Eli, we both know you need the rest,” she said, when we were out of the room. “Like, really need it. Look at the mirror. You’re so sleepy. You even came here so slow.”

“I…” But I didn’t have anything to say. She was right. 

“No more sacrifices for you, just sleep. We all know how you feel, you’re just tired.”

It’s more than that, though. I’m being haunted by my twin soul, Jayden. I’ll never feel complete without killing him. I can’t tell anyone, they won’t understand. 

“But I don’t want to,” I said, sitting down. “I want to come.”

“No,” she said firmly. “You need help getting to your room?”

I shook my head. But as I got up and started to walk I stumbled and she caught me. I had no energy left, I couldn’t even walk. Maybe I did need this rest. I was just afraid of nightmares, and waking up too late in the morning. 

“Why don’t you want to sleep?” she asked. “Tell me. It’s okay.”

My eyes watered from all my pain. “Nightmares.”

“About?”

“A mother calling for her child, then getting shot in the head when Araceli gave the order. Losing my parents to hunger. Everybody dead. Losing… you guys.”

(unfinished)