Letter To My Future Lover

The breath of the wind caresses my face in a way that reminds me of my future lover, here in this wide open field by the small hometown I have resided for all my life. I have seen many a strife and peril amongst these citizens, like a dark disease descending down dubiously upon the pure hearts of these soldiers of chivalry, into what I know them now as the most uncourteous men and women on the planet. I have seen the current attitudes and behaviours of the people here when it comes to love, and I must say I am not at all pleased. We all grow up as good children, leading innocent lives, until we are thrown into this pit of chaos that is adulthood. It is then we learn that love is not as simple as it seems.

You and I will not be like that, my love.

In my experience, there has not been a single person I have grown up with in school I have seen end up part of a happy couple. Time after time, I have seen these temporary duos pair up like a kid picking two random socks from his drawer for the day, only for his mother to tell him they are not a matching pair. These couples clash and are brash and then they leave each other, those ten minutes of anger supposedly having more importance to determine the futures of their relationships than the many years they’ve spent together bound like a heartbeat is to a human. It pains me so! That, after all this time, I’ve seen an inexcusable plethora of unhappy marriages, of divorces, of heartbreaks, of tears, of endless misery when it should be endless love! This is why I have stayed single for so long, and have been perhaps my whole life. I cannot bear the idea of a temporary connection with another person without knowing it is temporary--then, fleeing like a gazelle from a lion of unhappiness, fleeting like the wind of that very savannah, they run away from me and my sincere love!

But you and I will not be like that, my love. 

You see, all my life I have watched these people in the shadows. I have had many close friends that have had girlfriends and boyfriends and wives and husbands. They are happy at first, but never do they fail to end the relationship and move onto the next. And it bears a heavy burden in my heart, and stomach I suppose, to imagine this broken unity of a community of people switching partners, passing them around like hot potatoes, begging them to be the right one each time, begging to find the one that will cool them down.

There is more. There are those that don’t aim for a life of happiness and a family, the hedonists who seek those fleeting relationships for the pleasures of sex, an act they call “making love” when so far from it is what we all know it to be. These mercenaries of love sell their physical assets for a quick night, their tomorrows for a drunk party, their souls to a demon of lustful desire and biological instinct. Then they move onto their next prey, their next buyer, in the hopes that such a lifestyle is sustainable for the fondness we as human beings search for in each other. And when they do this they are certainly complacent, as well as aware of their intentions, then cry about a possible life of pain when their contraceptions fail. Then a pure life is sold to this mass genocide we as a species commit every day--and, I am by no means a very opinionated person on such a matter, yet I cannot help but wonder how different the victims of this genocide would be if people were generally more careful, purposeful in every stroke of their lust, ready for a force of sentience to enter their world if needed.

Yet, there is still more. Then there are those who wake up every day choosing violence as a means to get what they want. They abuse their partners, they ravish their partners forcefully, they act with the tenets of misogyny--as if a creed they hold close to their hearts dearly, more than the partners that they should. So broken this world is, my love, with these people running rampant amok in our homes and cities, pretending to be any innocent soul you meet on the street, at the bar, at work. 

And all of this, I say, has lead to the shallowness, foolishness, recklessness and meaninglessness!--of the couples of this world. Is it not so hard to raise good, loving people? Because these broken people raise their kids to be broken too. They leave them as fathers, or they abuse them as mothers, they do all that they can to ensure they end up like them. Then these kids follow in their footsteps of troublesome lives--they inhale as many illegal substances as they can, they get pregnant as teenagers, they abort their progeny like throwing an old toy in a garbage can, then they continue on as if nothing happened, as if they want to get pregnant, as if they want to do it all again. 

But you and I will not be like any of this, my love.

We will be that shining light of an example against this darkness of a plague that threatens our society. In a world where divorce rates are higher than ever, we will stay with each other till the end of time. In the wake of such ravenous hunger for sexual flesh, we will be the chaste partners who will truly put the love in “making love.” In this canyon of unborn souls, we will be the guardians of new life--our new life--and ensure we raise each one with the love and tenderness no other parents could dream of in a lifetime. With a stone-cold age, we will be a fiery flame. With a loveless nation, we will be the partners of pure devotion. With a flow of endless time, we will be the endless love. The spirit, the grace, the essence, the hereafter--we will be the protectors of true love, of fondness beyond time and space, of human connection, of pasts and futures, of now and always; forged with the hearts of ancient wisdom, of the right way two beings with the magnitude and capability to depend on each other in a complex and profound way, in the most human way possible, shall do--we shall be the exemplar of all time! It all begins when I find you.

I adore you in this manner--but we do not put each of us so on unreachable pedestals. If we fail we fail. But the difference between us and them is that when you fall, I don’t leave you. I pick you up. When you cry, I don’t hit you. I hold you in my arms. You see, you and I, my love, we will do what all those others could not. We will bear through all our human mistakes in the whole lives we will share on this planet. We will share every moment as one being--in the tender instances in our bed, in the broader boredoms of our work, in the quiet times in our car.  Everything not mine nor yours but ours. And, who’s to say my fancy words hold any substance compared to all others? All others, who, like me, have thought all this before they went through the ordeals of life, then changed their minds about their partners, realizing they were wrong? Or even those who thought all this and were proven wrong when their partners cheated them like the cruel world that is? Will our bond be strong enough to never break, for such a harshness of adulthood to never occur?

Then it’s a test of faith, perseverance, and luck, my love.

I believe we can do it. I know the first woman I meet might not be the one, I know the last woman I meet might not be the one either. And perhaps also all the ones in between, sparkled here and there, this or that, her or who--higher chances for some, lower for others. But only one. Only one of them is you. And I will find that one. I will find you. You see, you and I will be so different than all the rest, my love. You and I will have this primal knowingness inside us that will light up when we know we are the ones for each other. This light that I believe most people in the world ignore when they have craved to not be alone for so long. See, I already am single and chaste and have been my whole life because I know all this. Others see a shameful loner with no skills of the trade, but I see a happenstance of my own doing. I refuse to seek aimlessly when I can calculate without action if I have found you or not. So far, I have not. But the people of the world ignore this mentality and have regrets. They choose to settle with anybody--anybody! They get lost in the moment, mistaking an infatuation for an everlasting love. When I find you, I will have no regrets.

We will raise good children! Resilient children, brave children, children who fear not this plague that descends upon our society but relentlessly face it like we do. We will be that idea of a true family that each and every one of us knows well deep down in our hearts--but sadly, not all of us aim for. We will start a new cycle! These children will be taught well from us, and they will teach all of this to their children, and their children… and so on.

I have been ridiculed all my life, my love. After my refusals to go to parties, after my passiveness of attitude at going out and finding sex--I am the last person the people would adore, you see. But I know who I am! When you know who you are well enough, fully and truly, you are not influenced by the world--the world is influenced by you. If we ground this philosophy in our children, my love, we will create an unstoppable empire of loving people.

Stability and morality. A hopeless minority. These are the factors that play out in our epic of life, as well as for our children. I know how much we have to prove to raise them in this type of world, and to deal with these types of people I have been describing--but I see two futures, one where this plague of brokenness still haunts the hearts of men and women everywhere, and one where society is full of idyllic families immune to this sickness. In all my years, you must understand, my love, I have seen victim after victim fall to this plague. My best friend, scarred after years of abuse. My aunts and uncles, on their third and fourth marriages, oblivious yet again to the same red flags that clung to their past partners on their new ones--lest we forget the possibility of themselves as the common denominator. This sea of incompatibility that is the world of relationships--as if navigating on our sailboats is impossible because of manifold krakens--is a massive hunting ground for anger, bitterness, and indifference--the last of which is the true enemy of love. To think that every successful relationship is so rare because to find one is to slay the kraken in your area, and who can slay a kraken? Only the boldest hearts, like you and me, my love.

We do not trust each other because the world is distrustful, or the world is distrustful because we do not trust each other? Take your pick--a difference, it does make, I tell you. It matters a lot how we perceive this sea of love, it matters the weapons we choose against these krakens. We’d rather take the harpoons over the cutlasses, would we not, my dear, sweet love?

Agreed, it’s best we take the harpoons.

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