Not Good Enough

I help you through hard times, as you do I

but you really don't know how much I hide

Even though we are the best of friends

I really don't think you can understand

I can't bear the hurt, I can't stand the pain

A feeling of numbness I can't explain

This is a life which I walk alone

Full of hope shattered and broken

Always angry for no reason at all

constantly wanting to end this brawl

fighting with my self, again and again

sometimes I want this life to end

Mom's depressed but chooses to hide

takes out her anger on those by her side

Doesn't understand I try to help

She shuns me out, hates instead.

Too many friends are hurt as well

Thinking that their life is hell

Too many friends wanting to stop

Thinking suicide is their only option

But inside me is worst of all

I don't know how long I can stand tall

Memories of happiness are shooed away

But horrible twisted thoughts to stay

I wish I could be skinny

and always happy, fun and pretty

Instead i look at myself in the mirror

Disappointed in the reflection that appears

Its hard to live when you don't love who you are

Wishing you could change it all

Every day I make a mental note

How much would I miss, if I decided to go?

And how much hurt makes me lean towards the ledge

is slowly creeping up the hedge

how much longer can I last?

before my life becomes my past.

Reviews

[enigmaticwings]

Your words are a reflection of someone who has a big beautiful heart; that's everything. You are a wonderful writer.

[Nicolabottle666]

Thank you very much