a little fantasy here.....straying somewhat away from my usual type of writing.
it's an old story that
has been around for many years,
it's an old story and
it will tell you something...
it happened during dark times
when the wind blew much
harder than ever before,
the evil wind of
a terrible disease.
therefore the prince decided
to lock himself up in his castle
alone with his friends,
he thought to stay
locked up there and
to wait until the fear
and the obscurity
would yield and allow his soul to breathe,
wishing this satanic wind to blow by,
salvaging his mind and never come back.
in the castle there was joy
and people had a great time
eating and dancing
and nobody ever
believed that the
evil wind would ever
reach the castle
but at the end it did
despite their false sense of security.
I write you this story because
it sounds like some history that
repeats itself and keeps coming back,
I write you this story
because soon you will be born
and who knows how the city
will look like once that
wind will have died down.
I don’t know what kind of
world you will grow up in,
I only hope that you will be a
son of a new and better society.
this poem is written and mean't to be thought provoking, since it's fantasy I'm curious to see how my readers interpret this piece. There should be a varying degree of comments and what is important is I want to hear the varying opinions my readers get out of this piece. I hope you enjoy the read and let me know what this poem means to each of you. Some of you may find the story somewhat incomplete and you would be right in that judgement.....it is Part 1 of a series which I'm working on, be patient, I'm working on part 2 and 3:).......Also, if you haven't gotten the chance to read my poem Young hearts with Wings I'd strongly recommend giving it a read.....it is my little own masterpiece I consider.....would greatly appreciate anyone who hasn't read it yet to comment the piece. Thank-you, Nico.
My Review
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"his only hope was that he would be a son of a new and better society"... a fine wish indeed but, I believe that for society to become new and better each one of us has to contribute to making IT BETTER in whatever ways we can. Whether it be sharing our thought upon this site, chatting with strangers while out and about forming new friendships as our paths continue to cross... who knows if "society" will ever become equal for all, where it is "all for one and one for all"? Difficult it must be since obviously we have miles of improvement to attend to. Perhaps we need to STOP writing history and teaching it to our children... seems as though the history we and our parents were taught just lent the O.K. to continue on as is; repeating and repeating when up against the wall? Gee, I'm done diggin' this hole, it'll depress me if I continue. I do ramble on as I search for the words to express the thoughts within. Letter to the Future... re-read the past, learn from it and please don't repeat. ;~) Bear
Unfortunately, each generation suffers it's own form of disease and fear and evil which eventually we all learn to deal with if we are lucky. There is no escaping to a place free of this except maybe when we die so the true task we should concentrate on is finding our own peace and happiness from within. I did, however, like the short lived fantasy of a castle who's walls protects it's inhabitants from the tormenting world beyond but I myself need the diversity of both good and evil in order to appreciate my own existence in the world I have created from within.
I love reading something that makes me think. This may have even inspired me to venture beyond my comfort zone and write something uninhibited. Thank you... I really liked it.
this is quite good! definitely thought-provoking, and i love the fantasty aspect of the piece... it is something like this that inspires me to go beyond my 'comfort zone' and try new things... because i see them done well in others :)
Quite an impressing piece. It reaches out and reels in the reader to reading it. And even though already finished (with reading), it leaves behind a bittersweet taste of dread and hope that history won't repeat itself and the people would not resort to reliving the same mistake.
i think you are hinting at the great hatred ,cruelty,agressiveness,that sweeps all around this small world ,everything will reflect back on us no matter how safe we think,no castles can keep us safe ,we can only do that by going out there see what causes this bloody wind to blow this hard ,there must be some anger up in the sky ,its our evil doings that will send us to our doom, yes i like that ,i think i could read you well ,these are hard moments ,only lots of love around will drive away this ugly wind,thank you
"his only hope was that he would be a son of a new and better society"... a fine wish indeed but, I believe that for society to become new and better each one of us has to contribute to making IT BETTER in whatever ways we can. Whether it be sharing our thought upon this site, chatting with strangers while out and about forming new friendships as our paths continue to cross... who knows if "society" will ever become equal for all, where it is "all for one and one for all"? Difficult it must be since obviously we have miles of improvement to attend to. Perhaps we need to STOP writing history and teaching it to our children... seems as though the history we and our parents were taught just lent the O.K. to continue on as is; repeating and repeating when up against the wall? Gee, I'm done diggin' this hole, it'll depress me if I continue. I do ramble on as I search for the words to express the thoughts within. Letter to the Future... re-read the past, learn from it and please don't repeat. ;~) Bear
hey! I liked this one..too good!
According to me the flow of the write is it's most powerful element and the picture above is also going very well with it.
Great write :)
49 year-old italian male who's been writing for a long time, took a long break from writing and it's only in the past year and a half that I have rediscovered my passion for writing again.....I love r.. more..