Microstory 285: Perspective Sixty

This is an experimental Perspectives microstory. The introduction can be found in Microstory 225. More to follow.

I’ve always been afraid of clowns. I know I’m not the only one. Where my coulrophobics at? At least 12% of you, I know this much. Clowns are creepy because of this thing called the “uncanny valley”. What it all boils down to is that clowns appear to be human, but they’re not, and we all know it! Their faces are completely painted in this horrifically unmoving caricature. A clown has only one emotion; it may be sad or it may be happy, but it can’t ever be anything else. And clowns act funny. They’re always overexaggerating their movements and getting into trouble that could be easily avoided if they were just wearing shoes that fit. Clowns are creepy, and there is no way around it. Which is why I decided to become a clown. I was watching one of the Batman movies a few weeks ago. Bruce Wayne is afraid of bats, and so in order to become stronger, he adopted the bat as his symbol. By overcoming his fear of bats, he’s able to be braver in other situations, and take on his opponents more effectively. I’ve always felt the need to strip myself of my weaknesses, but this was one that I had always avoided. But I had to do it; I just had to. So I enrolled in clown college. I nearly had a panic attack when I first walked into the building. Forget that; I had an actual panic attack. There were clowns everywhere. Well...maybe there were only a handful of them, but that was a handful too many. And the classroom itself was like a shop of horrors. But I pushed through it. I’m learning makeup, dancing, props, and even a little costuming. You might be wondering whether I’m only learning to become a clown so that I can get over my phobia. Well, no. I’m going to be a clown. I’m going to continue with this profession for the foreseeable future. It may seem crazy to you, but it’s what I have to do. I wish only that my girlfriend could understand.