Microstory 242: Perspective Seventeen

This is an experimental Perspectives microstory. The introduction can be found in Microstory 225. More to follow.

I kind of hate my job, but I kind of love it. I’m known in certain circles for taking in employees with personality disorders or other emotional problems. Some of them qualify for assistance from the state, while others simply applied and earned their positions independently. I’ve seen how hard it is for people diagnosed with disorders and syndromes. They can sometimes have trouble interacting with others, and so neurotypical employers tend to just not bother with giving them a chance. I didn’t start my business with the intention of supporting my community in this way, but when I saw how hard it was for my autistic nephew to relate to his classmates, I guess I had this instinct to reach out. I didn’t realize how tough this industry would be, or how much I would learn to absolutely detest the work. Make no mistake, helping people in need is extremely rewarding. It’s just all the other stuff that I’ve stopped caring about. We sell custom merchandise. You want your company’s logo on a mug; on a sweater, on a pencil? We’ll do it. Ya know, as long as we have the time and the resources and the capital. So many other businesses handle this sort of thing, and I just can’t stay afloat. I thought it would be interesting, and that every day would be a new challenge, but it’s turned out to be so incredibly tedious. What I’ve discovered after working with these people is that I want to make it my job to help them get other jobs. But that requires education, training, and for me to close the business, which would mean putting the people I already am helping out of work. I’m working on a way to step one foot on the boat while keeping the other on the dock, so I don’t fall in. But that’s even more difficult than you would probably imagine. There’s not really a way for me to slow down production, while one by one letting my people go, because I feel an obligation to find them other work beforehand. And so I laugh, because at this point, I’m the one who needs a state counselor to help me figure out what I’m going to do to achieve my career goals.