Microstory 238: Perspective Thirteen

This is an experimental Perspectives microstory. The introduction can be found in Microstory 225. More to follow.

I’m a single father. My girlfriend and I were still in high school when we found out that she was pregnant. I asked her several times who the real father was, but she refused to tell me. But then this angel was born, and in an instant, I had no interest in knowing who the father was. In fact, I told her that we needed to keep quiet about it. Everyone already assumed the child to be mine, and that’s exactly how I wanted it. I was a few years into parenthood before it really struck me how much I was taking away from the biological father who may or may have no clue. Life for us was a struggle, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. My son is the best guy I know, and I hate it that I’m depriving someone else of that, but what am I supposed to do? My girlfriend fell into the wrong crowd who gave her the wrong ideas, and after about a year, she left us. What if the father is one of them? If, hypothetically, he tried to take custody, he would most certainly win. I would be devastated, and worse, my son could be living in a crack den or something. After about another year, I learned that my ex-girlfriend had died of a drug overdose, and that was it. She had no chance for redemption, and the father’s identity died with her. As sick as it was to wish ill on someone, I was secretly relieved. She could have revealed the truth at any time and taken my boy from me. I couldn’t have that. My parents agreed to help me out by babysitting, but said they wouldn’t support me financially. They were not doing this to be mean; they just wanted me to live with the consequences of my actions. Though times were tough, I understand where they’re coming from, and I never faulted them for their position. I work two jobs, but fortunately, both of them let me bring my kid in after school when I need to. He’s taken to an old friend of mine from high school who is a regular customer, and I consider what it would be like for him to have a real mother. I’m not interested in her romantically, and she’s not into men anyway, but she’s just absolutely great with him. She’s come into the diner today to have lunch with a woman she used to be in love with. I think she may want to start something with her, which would be great for them, but it interferes with my fantasy life and that’s all I can think about. I need some professional help. Would it be a conflict of interest if I use the same therapist as my friend?