Microstory 234: Perspective Nine

This is an experimental Perspectives microstory. The introduction can be found in Microstory 225. More to follow.

My roommate and best friend is a cop. Well he’s not really a cop but he’s a FBI agent. Now I know what you’re thinking, dude how could you possibly live with a pig given what you do? But he’s cool. We actually started doing weed together when we were kids. I moved on to pursue the business side of things and ever since then he helps me keep me covered. It’s a pretty choice deal. I don’t know how he hasn’t gotten caught yet or I haven’t but I’m not really that worried. I think most of the time he doesn’t deal with dangerous things that much but he come home the other day and tells me about how a guy kidnapped a girl and then she paid a cop to kill him. Or something like that. Like, I don’t really know if I got that right but I know something like that happened. Truth? It’s kind of hard for me to remember things when I’m in my testing phase. Now I don’t normally do drugs myself that’s not my thing. Not anymore at least. But I do have to sample my own product so I know it’s good. But I’ve grown up from being like that. But I feel like it’s, like, my job to foster the young youth ya know? But to make them understand how to smoke properly and safely. But they need to know that they shouldn’t go out driving and stuff because that’s dangerous and I had this friend when I was just getting into the business who was also trying to get the business and he just didn’t realize that he should probably stop getting high so he could keep track of his business affairs and he also didn’t quite never get the fact that he shouldn’t drive and he drove and he died. It was pretty sad I was at his funeral. He had the coolest collection of those cards where the little slave animals live in balls and are only let out so they can fight each other. And all I’m saying is that I don’t get how they live in those balls. Yeah sure it seems like they have some kind of shrinking technology but, like, it doesn’t seem like they use it to shrink anything else? It seems like it would be pretty handy to, ya know, make things go smaller. I was thinking the other day if you could shrink things then you should be a doctor and shrink yourself and then you could go into a patient’s body with a gun and shoot a tumor or something. That would be pretty cool. Have you noticed that the word tumor kind of sounds like a place, like people should live in Tumor, Germany or something. But I guess it would be weird.