Devil's Lair

It was a boring weekend, nothing to do but to write...

How the dust is blown away into hell
by his mighty arms,he captures you in a cell,
A man screamed repeatedly "what have i done so awful that i am in this cell!
God has left me behind,and sent me into this blind world"

He,then started to remember it all,
He wanted to become a rock-star,
did all the things that an average man can do,
he wanted more from life,
but he just couldn't follow through...

He cried as the images came into his head
reminded himself that he invoked the powerful one from the underworld,
he wished for fame and glory,
but all that was a very short story.

The demon only gave him pain and sadness,
leaving him into a complete darkness,
"I gave you fame and glory,now it's your time to give me your story,
dance with me into this last waltz of your life,
then i shall take you into a room where there is no light,
where you can only see your history with no delight".

As he remembered all this,
he felled into Lucifer's plan,
only if he could be hit by madness,
but the demon will never let that happen
"you will remember it all, feel it all, and suffer it all
that was our pact....
an infinity time for you to live behind this big wall"

Author's Note

Yes I know the Image is Iron Maiden's artwork :D (I haven't thought on any better image than this)

I guess we all need to find that stairway that leads to our heaven
"Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind. "

Reviews

[Relic]

The good news:

It has been said the great Blues man Robert Johnson made a deal with the devil at the crossroads. I think you have illustrated that idea here nicely. The devil as we know will always deceive in his barter with those who have taken to his help. Fame and glory bear a heavy price to those eager for its riches and seeking the devil for help can only bring unhappiness and things unexpected. The Zeppelin video is so appropriate for this poem and you are right in your author's note, we all need to find that stairway that leads to heaven.

The slightly bad news:

This is just an opinion and it doesn't mean I'm right.

The beginning lines are slightly obscure and confusing until you get to the second stanza. There are odd sentences that crash into each other:
He cried as the images came into his head
reminded himself that he invoked the powerful one from the underworld,
he wished for fame and glory,

A couple of rhymes are slightly forced and the sentence:
only if he could be hit by madness, is like hitting a brick wall upon first read. Overall though, it is a good poem with a cool story to it. Nice writing. :)

[Nick.B]

Thank you for taking the time reading and reviewing the poem, I really appreciate it, and yeah the story of Robert Johnson is pretty sad, taken away at 27...anyway thanks again

[Relic]

You're welcome Nick, keep up the good work. :)

[Rahul]

It seemed like a story and this's really a nice write, very productive.
nicely penned.

[Nick.B]

Thanks, I appreciate it

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Seems like the weekend was pretty productive to me. I enjoyed this read.

[Nick.B]

Thank you, I appreciate it

[Robbie~xoxo~]

You have taken me on an intense journey of evil... what it does to the soul and how it manifests from greed and pride...
Awesome write!

[Nick.B]

Thank you, appreciate that you've stopped by, thanks for the review

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Wow! you are such a genius :), I love everything here, the story progression is great, beautiful stunning words play. And very relatable piece which is really happening today in celebrities life.

[Nick.B]

Thank you for taking the time, I appreciate it

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Welcome :)

[Salar Majak]

dance with me into this last waltz of your life,
then i shall take you into a room where there is no light,

i love this!!! really really really do! this is my favourite of this day! the whole story just captured me, and the last stanza ooooh what can i say!!! great write!

[Nick.B]

Thank you, I really appreciate it :D

[Salar Majak]

:are very very welcome!

[Muse]

Lucifer wasn't the only one who got weak in the knees because of pride...but mankind also plays victim to this self-riteous emotion. I think "pride" is the true evil...not the devil...not the demons...not envy...not greed...but Pride....it puts us up on a pedistal of lies....it tempts us to do unjust things....it eats away at our soul....when the soul is devoured..what is left is a cell...an empty vessel...consumed by "PRIDE".

[Nick.B]

True you're right, the world today is consumed by pride, thanks for reading and for reviewing it...I appreciate it

[Miranda Richard]

I love Stairway To Heaven. Lovely poem, the theme was great. I loved the rhyming pattern!

[Nick.B]

Thanks for reading and for taking the time to review, I appreciate it

[Miranda Richard]

Anytime :)

[redflutterby]

Who hasn't considered a deal with the devil in the pursuit of thier art...if only for one fleeting moment..lol. Love Zeppelin....did alot of writing to their music.

[Nick.B]

Yeah I know the feeling, thanks for taking the time to read and to review, really appreciate it