Forbidden fruit

Feeling the forbidden fruit
made me look so desperate,
for more
tasting her lips felt like heaven was down here
i have felt her fear
her love
and her passion
that fruit made all this reaction....

Reviews

[Criss ;)]

wow, this's great write fellla.....what a great n deep write...welll, ONE STAWBERRY n TWO two mouths...who's gonna eat it first and after eat this who's gonna fell her lips...her passion..her fear....hahaha
nice write fella......i loved this piece much...
well penned....

After a long time i read your stuff fella n you did great job as usual...
Have this 94.9/100 :)
Have a nice writin'
TAKE CARE FELLAAAAAA......!!

[Nick.B]

Thanks, I appreciate it

[Acer]

Sorry, but i'm gonna copy it. Very nice poem, i loved it. Nothing to say much, just beautiful indeed.

[Nick.B]

Thanks...I appreciate it

[Acer]

Sorry, but i'm gonna copy it. Very nice poem, i loved it. Nothing to say much, just beautiful indeed.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

The fear factor again!!
original sin is back in...
love the illustration and the words...

[Nick.B]

Thank you, glad you like it

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

:) i will read u more

[patti]

i always say less is more, but i like the poem its very sensual and well writen

[Nick.B]

Thank you

[Be myself!]

Cool. kind of erotic. I like it.

[Nick.B]

Thanks...

[Nick.B]

Glad you like it:d

[Be myself!]

Your welcome :)

[cas_write]

Yum! Quite a tasty read. Not your typical forbidden fruit poem. I like it. The only line I find awkward is "tasting her lips felt like heaven was down here" Too long perhaps. And "heaven was down here" seems a bit elementary. I believe there's a more eloquent way to say that!

[Nick.B]

Thank you for the review, I will try to change that line

[Nona]

so picturesque, bright and sensual! Excited me a lot! I know exactly what you are writing here! forbidden fruit! ah!

[Nick.B]

Thanks :D

[rnuff]

LIke it, sensual write.

[Nick.B]

Thank you, glad you like it