Lost Telegram of Love

Communicating love is never easy.

My love is a boxy automobile
with white-walled affections
anachronistically cruising
toward a bonfire sunset.

I am a hopeless romantic.

Your love is a foreign land
under siege but comprised
of exotic beauty most hidden
but enchanting like birdsong.

You are my moth's flame.

They say, "Words can move mountains."
Only when it comes to you...
I find I'm forced to communicate
with near obsolete technology.

My words are costly.

Paid for in silver dollars
cut from my argent tongue.
Gold and crimson dots and dashes
Express cables of my adoration.

Your response eludes me.

Like the lost telegram of love
That I wired across enemy lines:

-Find the courage to face the mountains- Stop

-I will find the strength to cross the sea- Stop

-Even Love can exist within a war zone- Stop

-But...Only together can we set it free- Stop


         ~I am a hopeless romantic.
 

Reviews

[willweb]

Great poem Astro. I can feeling the longing in amongst the detours. I enjoyed this today.

[Astro]

Thank you once again willweb, this it one of my favorites and I'm pleased that you liked it.

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Wow.. Never came across such artistic description!!

Fabulous work.. Keep sharing!!

Good Wishes!!

[Astro]

Thank you very much Pri, I am glad you liked it and grateful for the kind review.

[emmajoy]

Communicating is never easy because.. because too often, people are blind to words of more than two syllables and more than one meaning! Your work has style as well as emotion plus, there's more between the lines. 'My love is a boxy automobile ~ with white-walled affections ~ anachronistically cruising toward a bonfire sunset. ~ ~ I am a hopeless romantic.'

[Astro]

Thank you again, for the thoughtful words and pleasing review of my work. I'm grateful.

[emmajoy]

a smile of thanks for your words

[Astro]

You're most welcome, it's with your words that I am able to feel strong and continue my path to success as a writer.

[emmajoy]

and as a human being!

[Astro]

Cheers to you as well friend.

[Troy Henson]

Your romantic side shows with this one Astro. The structure and flow kept it moving well and I enjoyed that the piece maintained some deep emotion.

Regards

[Astro]

Thanks Troy, it came from deep within so I'm happy that it shone through.

[m.s.early]

An aching story of love separated immensely yet penetrable because for the helpless romantic, love indeed endures.

The romantic's love is unfailing and persistent and will evade mortars and ignore gut wounds and claw and scratch if it must. The romantic invests himself fully, no corner of the heart not given utterly.

In the last verse the author ices the poem. The telegraph language and form is sumptuous. It riveted me and sealed the deal completely. This is undeniably creative and intelligent on an ethereal level. Yes love is conquerable. And even the "nearly obsolete" technology of words on paper (in whatever form) is enough to pierce through.

[Astro]

You do me great honor with your kindness and critique of my poem. Thank you very much and I am glad it had such an impression upon you in its reading.

[Brook]

I am in love with this poem. It's just such a beautiful poem!
Well done, keep it up!

[Astro]

Thanks a lot Brooke, you've kept me smiling along with all of the other wonderful people who've reviewed me today.

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Great write, bro. The structure of this was freshly unique and aided with keeping the reader attentive from line to line. Excellent.

[Astro]

Thanks PH, I wasn't so sure when I broke from the 4/1 to 2/4/1 if it would work, so I'm glad that it did.

[sonnetmoon]

I have shelved this poem in my library. Thank you for posting this work of art. You are extremely talented and I hope you write more.
-sonnetmoon

[Astro]

Thank you very much for such an honor and gracious review Sonnetmoon. I'm doing my best to write something everyday and become accustomed to it for success as a writer, your words mean a lot.

[R. L. Hill]

I enjoyed reading this immensely. You write a love poem so effortlessly, it seems. I wish I had someone penning these sorts of things for me.

[Astro]

I'm honored that you feel that way, I only wish they could pay the bills too, lol. Thank you very much for your review, it means a lot. I WILL get to reviewing some of yours soon, I promise.

[R. L. Hill]

Hahaha. No worries! I've cleared out my stuff on here for a bit while I work from home in my trusty notebook. Once I have more solid stuff, I will posting a few things. So no rush! I wish all this could pay the bills too! Damn.

[Astro]

So does that mean that the poems you sent me for review are no longer on here?

[R. L. Hill]

They are. They are just in my "Book of Poems". Not set apart.

[Astro]

gotcha............:)

[R. L. Hill]

You betcha ^___^

[Frieda P]

Very clever Astro, I like this one a lot....when I read telegram I was wondering where you were going with this one...compelling read, love the 'stops'...and gold and crimson dots and dashes, very unique!

[Astro]

Initially, I had an idea for a poem about a telegram that professed love getting lost, misplaced or what have you. Then I decided that personally, my way of communicating love is a bit outdated making me something of a bygone age, back when telegrams were used. Sadly, trying to communicate this way isn't always going to get the response you are looking for, but sometimes, just maybe you'll meet the right someone who has a little of that old-timey spirit left in them and your messages won't be lost. I'm glad that you enjoyed it Frieda, I don't send too many requests out so thank you very much!

[Frieda P]

Did you send a RR for this one, I must have have read it before that, Who knew you were an old fashioned kinda guy...I have one telegram from a long long time ago, ha....showing my age now, I still treasure that thing. You're welcome!

[Astro]

Well either way, thanks for noticing my writing and giving it a read.